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My 3yo shares past life

J

jella

New Member
Hi all - I'd be grateful for some advice. Recently while on holiday my three and a half year old daughter, Ella, shared what seems to be a past life story.

I am open to these things - so that is not the issue. The issue is that she seems a little traumatised by what happened. She says that she and her partner were killed by two men in green (sounds like army uniform?) right after they killed the children. The children, she says, were not hers, because she and her hunsband could not have children. I am finding it hard to navigate my way on this site and so far have only found one useful exerpt from a book which talks about how to talk to children. I have been doing all the right things it seems, but now I am worried because she has clammed up about it.

It all came up on a beach holiday. She says that the house they used to live in was up high and over the beach. Well, we were satying at a holiday house up high and on the beach so perhaps that triggered her memory? I have been taking notes and have a transcript of what she has said if someone wants to read it, I just really would appreciate advice on how to help her heal the past pain and how to encouage her to talk without falling into the trap of making her shut out the memories even more because it hurts too much.

Key points she has told me are:
· A long, long time ago I was a mummy, but I didn’t have any children.
· We didn’t have any children, so we looked and looked for children. Because we didn’t have any children of our own we thought we might get some.
· We found some children but one night when we were sleeping there were very scary monsters and they came and woke up the children and killed the children and then they woke up me and the daddy and they killed us too.
· I don’t want to talk about it. It was very scary and it was a long long time ago.
· There were 4 children
· The monsters knocked the house down with hammers
· Then the monsters killed us
· The monsters were people: two boys dressed in green with hats and boots
· There were girl monsters too but they were nice to us
· I don’t want to talk about it because it makes me sad
· Our house was over the beach
· We had 2 aeroplanes one was ours and one belonged to 5 people
· The 5 people were mummies who wanted children
· They came to us and we would give them children
· Our plane was dark pink and their plane was white
· We would take the plane to the beach
· 5 people came
· The people were mummies who wanted babies and I gave them babies
· The house had a room for the children but it was empty
· It was empty because the monster boys came and got them
· The house was up high.
(On this day I asked Ella to paint a picture of when she was a mummy and she said “no because it makes me feel sad. Then that day I asked her to draw a picture of the two boy monsters and she drew a picture of two people with large boots and hats. I have never seen her draw boots on a person before. She wanted to give the picture to Grandpa and I asked her to tell grandpa the story when she would see him but she said “no I don’t want to tell him because it will make him sad)

Now - about 10 days later, she will not tell me anything more and insist that it makes her feel too sad. I feel the need to help her recall and help her liberate these feelings. One thing for sure, it has helped me understand her personality a lot more. She is a real 'fighter'.

Any advice, thoughts or comments gratefully received,

With thanks,
j.
 
*S*S*S*S

HI Jella,

Your daughter seems to have very specific memories. Has she ever spoken of the country she lived in? The clothes they wore? The color of their skin?

When my grandson was 3 - I was thumbing through a book that had pictures of people from all over the world. When he came to an image of a Middle Eastern woman - he said - "That's what my other mommy looked like."

Perhaps you could show her pictures and see if she responds to the images of people, clothing -places and cultures. That may help you to do the research - and see if her memory and history are in any way related. Its so hard to say - - especially regarding genocides and third world countries. But that's my feeling.

I just got home and am exhausted - will post more in the AM.
 
Thanks for the replies so far. At this stage I am trying not to interpret what she is saying too much - just trying to be open to hearing more. I do of course have my own ideas about what it is she is describing but I think it's probably best to stay open-minded.

My main concern is how to get her to open up and talk more when it is upsetting for her - or even whether I should be encouraging her to talk about it when she clearly finds it distressing.

She is fine talking about it only up to the point where she says the children in her care were killed and then she and her husband were killed. Then she really shuts off and says it makes her feel too sad.
 
Deborah - I forgot to answer your questions: no, no descriptions as yet or names of places but your idea is a good one - thankyou (much better than asking leading questions, which I'm trying to avoid).

She has described her partner/husband as brown-eyed with brown hair but I never thought to ask skin colour - must do that. She also makes reference to a Christmas tree and lights whenever she talks about him. Talking about him is obvioulsy a pleasant thing for her - she always seems to laugh and smile.

Yesterday I asked her more about the children and got this (remember, the monsters she refers to are two "boys" dressed in green with boots and hats):
Q.Where did you get the children from?
A. From the monsters house, and by the time we stomped up to the house we woke the monsters up.
I don’t want to talk about it.
Q. Did the children belong to the monsters?
A. No, but the monsters tiptoed into their room while they were sleeping and locked them up.

It sounds to me like she made an attempt to rescue children from a lock-up situation.

Two other curious things this week: she was confused about her gender (!) which has never happened before (she is SUCH a little girly-princess) and kept asking if she was a boy, telling me that she felt like her voice was deeper suddenly, like that of a boy ) which it is not - and didn't seem to have changed to my ears.

Also, she told me today that her one-year old sister (Mia) was once in her tummy. I asked if she meant my tummy but she was insistent that when she "was a mummy" that Mia had been in her tummy.
 
Hi jella,

"I just really would appreciate advice on how to help her heal the past pain and how to encouage her to talk without falling into the trap of making her shut out the memories even more because it hurts too much."

I don't think she will fall into that trap, because you are open to hearing about the memories, and she is allowed to let it out when it comes up. Grieving doesn't happen all at once. She won't necessarily be able to just be sad, remember everything, and then be fine with it (sometimes it apparently works that way with regression but not always). I'd be more afraid of pressing her too hard when she seems so mature with her responses and does know herself when it's "too sad" to continue and she doesn't want to talk about it.

Deborah's advice about pictures might really help, but you might want to be careful, too. She could see things she loves and wants to look at and talk about, but if she sees things that traumatized her before, she may not want to look at the picture and she may have some extreme negative emotions come up afterward. If you just go with the flow it should be okay, and if you tell her the books/pictures are available to her if she changes her mind, that might help. If instead she says you need to get those pictures away, even out of the house, it's probably best to do so unless you feel very strongly against it-- it's just not worth the mistrust and trauma she might have if she is pressed about this.

It sounds like your daughter is aware of her feelings, and knows she can trust you and her grandpa and so on-- it's overwhelming emotion that she's not comfortable with allowing to surface right now, rather than any hesitation she has about sharing with you. Just let her do it on her own time. It's great that you're recording what she says, in case she would like to know details of that later on.
 
HI Jella,

If your duaghter is talking a lot about her past life- and continues to be distressed and you are not sure how to proceed -I would suggest that you contact Carol Bowman.

You sound like a very balanced mother - and a loving caring one. I would suggest that you watch your own emotional responses to her expressions - stay balanced. Children can sense how you feel in response to what they say. What upsets you -even unspoken words might be what upsets her.. or triggers the emotinal aspect for you both. Carol talks about this in her first book and the connection between children and mothers that can also act as triggers. Trust your instinct...mother knows best.

All we can do here is give our thoughts and advise. Take what feels right for you - and act on that and leave the rest. Keep in mind - you can also contact Carol.

Many Blessings..............
 
Thanks both feech and deborah for your most recent replies. All very helpful and helped me confirm what my instinct has been telling me: let it go and just let her know she can still talk about it if/when she wants to.

Also I personally find that meditation holds the key to most things in my life, so I am creating time and space in which to meditate and am certain this will help things reveal themselves in the way they are meant to unfold.

Interestingly, last night I asked Ella to join me and meditate - at first not knowing how a squirmy three year old would go with that. She fidgeted a bit but then really seemes to enjoy the breathing, then she ended up lying down and I was able to give her a nice Reiki massage before she went to bed. I guess healing pain doesn't always have to involve talking!

Thanks all for sharing your thoughts on this - I was so taken back by it at first I almost panicked. Now I feel very centred and relaxed about it all.

I don't know why I was so surprised since I've always believed in past lives. Wasn't it Voltaire that wrote something like "after all, it is no more surprising to be born twice than it is to be born once".

Thanks for the advice and support and I'll certainly keep you posted on any developments.
 
I don't know if you can use this information at all, but I felt I need to tell you that while I was reading your post and your little girl's amazing story I kept thinking of a country. What comes strongly through is a South American country (I can't get Columbia out of my head right now).
 
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