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My child has an infatuation AND a fear of trains

bvona

bvona

bvona
Hi all, Im new here. I hope someone can shed some light on this strange situation. My two year old became fascinated by trains almost overnight. He began lining up all of his toys with wheels in a row and talking about trains all day. I assumed he'd seen some cartoons with trains, so it was no big deal. We decided he might like some train toys, so my husband brought home a thomas train set. He liked it, so we began to add to the collection with a motorized track set. Stragely though, he didnt like it if we turned the trains on. He loved the cars as long as the power was off. Within a week of getting the set, he has developed a full-fledge fear of all things train. While eating at a restaraunt today that was near a track, a train went by and he began to shake and cry. Within a month, he's gone from absolute love to absolute fear of trains. He does still love to play with the little models though, and he's still lining up his toys.
I've asked him before about "when he was a big person" with no response. Could this be a sign of a memory, or a parents active imagination?:confused:
 
Hi Bvona,


Welcome to the forum.

Could this be a sign of a memory, or a parents active imagination?
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Well, it's hard to say. I would think it might be an indication of 'something', but without his being able to articulate or describe any particular memories, impossible to tell.


However, even though I believe that everyone has all sorts of past life baggage which expresses itself in quirky likes, dislikes, phobias, attachments and so forth the vast majority of people rarely if ever bring these memories up to full consciousness. You may like to pay a bit of attention to his playing with his train sets if you are curious (without making a fuss). He might begin to be very fascinated in playing 'train wrecks' or something which might be a clue.


I am sure, though, whatever it is he will probably 'grow out of it'. If it is a past life memory, the best thing you can do is to reassure him he is safe now and try to deal with the reality of the fear in this life by not making a big deal out of it either way - neither indulge nor try to supress it too strongly.
 
Hi bvona and welcome to the forum.


That certainly is strange, I agree with Tanguerra. Just watch and wait if he does say something. And If he does just be there to reassure him everything is and will be alright. One thing you might not want to do is mention "When you were big before," let him bring it up. If you ask leading questions he might want to satisfy you with something he made up. I suggest reading Carol's books found here and here. They are really worth the investment. :)


Again, Welcome


VanH.
 
tanguerra said:
...the best thing you can do is to reassure him he is safe now and try to deal with the reality of the fear in this life by not making a big deal out of it either way - neither indulge nor try to supress it too strongly.
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I've heard that talking to a child while he or she is asleep is a good way to disperse nightmares, so perhaps it works with fears and phobias as well.
 
I have also heard of speaking to a child while they are asleep and have tried it with some success with my son.


Even though your son is a little young to draw, Deborah has great suggestions about having the child draw what he is afraid of. This helped a lot with my son's fear of mountain lions.


I'm sure you have asked your son why he is afraid. I'd be interested to know what he said about it.


I think this type of fear/like situation is often past life related.
 
Thanks for the replys


Well, he's never really answered why he's afraid, he just says "Trains bad." Then in the next minute, he's playing trains again. Its very confusing
 
ok, here's something new


I just woke my son from a late nap, and the first thing he said to me was, "I wanna go home, I miss it, I gotta go find it" I asked where's home? He replied "My trains"
 
That's interesting. Often that half-awake state is when people (including kids) will have access to some of this 'subconscious' information. Kids often say the darnedest things in the car for instance when they are sort of lulled into a dreamy state.


Again, without pushing him, or making a fuss, just be open to whatever he may say. Listen with interest, but don't lead him or create any uneccessary fear, anxiety or 'spookiness' about the whole 'train thing' - whatever it may or may not turn out to be. He may have a past life where he came to grief in a train crash. He may have just woken from a perfectly normal kid dream about living in a train carriage. He might have been dreaming about playing with his toy trains. Who knows?


Reincarnation is a perfectly natural process and you really don't have to 'do' anything about it. Just love him, reassure him and insist that he eat his vegetables and look both ways before crossing the road. Otherwise, let nature take its course and I am sure all will be well.


That said, be sure to keep us posted if any new info comes to light. It might be that something is coming up for him and it will reveal itself in more detail over coming months.
 
Welcome to the forum, Bvona! :)


I agree with others your son's obsession and fear of trains could be past life related, and I hope you are there for him to listen, if he starts sharing his memories about them, and will try to calm him down and let him know he's fine and safe now, when he's afraid.


If it's a PL trauma it'll probably help him to talk it through.


Karoliina
 
Hello!


Welcome, and thanks for starting this thread. It's brought me back to wondering if my life-long fear of traffic is past-life related. I learned to drive on country roads and would drive on them (roads nearly devoid of any other cars or trucks) just fine. But anytime I'd come to a busy intersection I'd be paralyzed with fear.


I even went to a therapist for it, who recommended a driving school whose owner was highly experienced and dealt with "hard" cases to train. Anyway, we (the owner and I) got on the road in a car with steering and controls that allowed him to take over driving from the front passenger seat if I paniced/froze.


We'd gone a week practicing on a country club's quiet streets, and he was confident in my driving skills, so we finally went out on a busy drive in Palm Desert -- Fred Waring Drive. Anyway, as we got closer and closer to the I-10 onramp is when I froze again, don't even remember to this day exactly where, I sort of blocked that memory. Anyway, the instructor told me later that he came as close to yelling at someone as he ever has, he says I was "unreachable" for so long, kind of in a trance, and came to the point where it was a danger to wait any longer and took over. He says I couldn't "hear" him, and just kept fixated on this truck honking at as too move it. Anyway, I remember a few minutes after he took over the controls and I just wanted to remain silent for fear of starting to cry or going into hysterics I guess.


So I've quit driving all together since then, but can't say I miss it. There's OK public trans in this area (pretty much a miracle in the U.S.) and I can easily afford to take cabs when I need to.


I used to think it was related to when I was 5 years old and my dad had to brake really hard to avoid a semi truck that barreled on across an intersection when my dad had the right of way -- me, my mom, and my little brother were in the car but my brother was in the front and was the only one injured at all -- his fingers were in between the head rest/chushion of the front passenger seat but they were just "squished" and blue.


Anyway, sorry for the long off-topic detour here so to speak, but my brother came out with no fear at all of traffic, cars, etc. -- he's a mechanic and LOVES going to car shows, etc. I on the other hand remember even before hand not "trusting" trafffic -- people in other cars I guess. I even got nauseous sometimes when my mom hit heavy traffic.


Thanks for posting again, and hearing me out :)


P.S. -- Even on country roads, everytime a car was approaching me from either directions, I would clutch the stearing wheel hard and make a concentrated effort to stay calm and not get off the road for fear of those cars either switching to my lane and crashing into me or getting on my lane too fast and ramming my side.
 
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