My cousin, my mother

[Larry G]

Hi everyone,

I see that it has been quite some time since I've posted here, around 2005. Sorry about that, life gets in the way of course. I'm glad to see this forum is still around. I'm a guy in my 30s.

Well, this is probably gonna be one of your stranger stories, or heck maybe not, lol. My mother was perhaps my greatest friend and champion. She passed away during the summer of 2005 of congenital heart failure after suffering a long illness. I was her caregiver.

I loved her and she loved me very much. In the months before she died, she told me of a dream she'd had that God took her floating on a cloud and God, and that in the dream we were all a golden hue and that we were his angels and that we were his princes and princesses. In the years before she died she was very emotional. I loved her dearly.

I have gotten by the best I could since her death. It has been hard being without her. Basically, I've just thrown up an emotional wall and gone about my life throwing myself into work and whatnot.

Okay fast forward to this past summer. I went to visit my aunt. She has a huge family now like the Waltons, her daughter (her boys) and then four children she's adopting.

When I visited there, she had just taken in the youngest girl who is 7. I get along with all of them, but this little girl became hugely attached to me from the moment I met her. During the entire week I was there she would attend to me and was just generally close. When she'd look at me, it was as if she'd shot past my physical form and was staring directly into my soul, I don't know how else to describe it.

She would eschew them at times and go to me or lean into me for comfort. She was just a sweetheart. For some reason, I just had this feeling when I was around her that she was like a lost friend returning to me, rather than someone I'd just met. When she'd talk to me, it was as if her soul poured forth, very emotional. At times when I was supposed to be watching them (the children), it felt oftentimes, like she was the one leading me, lol.

Finally at the end of that week, she ran up to me and told me I resembled a prince with her wide eyes and smile. And, that's when my mother's dream came rushing back to me, here was a "golden girl", she's a blonde, telling me I looked like a prince. And of course some weeks later I looked up her name, and wouldn't you know it, it is a variant of the word "princess".

So anyway, there ya have it. It's not much of a story to be sure, there have been no solid clues like scenery or events in history. It's just that my heart is telling me that I know this soul from somewhere before, I KNOW, KNOW, KNOW this, but it doesn't jive with the logical mind, lol. It's weird, very weird, lol.

When my mother died, I could feel nothing, I prayed for a dream, anything. When I was around this girl, it was like I could feel my mother. Of course the timing is wrong. She was born in 2000. My mom died in 2005. Are there any stories of non-linear reincarnation here?

Anyway, so that's that, the short version. I am honored that this little soul has taken to me. She is not a blood relative. It's just so weird because she just feels so familiar.

And, well that's that. Of course I don't see them very much, and so not being around them has put me into a huge depression because it feels like my mother's presence is near, yet so far. I know this makes no logical sense, and I'm very short on the little details like any clues excepting my mother's dream.

Just thank you for listening. Was wondering if anyone else has been through something similar? I know this is kinda weird, believe me.

Larry

 

[Karoliina]

Hello Larry,


It's nice that you've found your way back here and you like the forum.


I'm sorry to hear about your mother but it sounds like you had a wonderful relationship and there are many beautiful moments for you to remember with a smile on your face. :thumbsup:


It also sounds lovely how you've connected with your adopted cousin. I think it's possible and likely you've met her before in a previous lifetime, but I couldn't say if she has the same soul as your mother. There have been some discussions on the forum - also recently - about the possibility of having several incarnations in the same time frame, so that chronologically thinking several people have the same soul at the same time. Some people believe it's possible, others don't, so I think it's a good idea to keep an open mind.


I suggest you enjoy the company of your cousin when you can see her and appreciate the special connection between you two. I'm sure all important information will come through to you in its own pace. Don't force it.


I also hope you can cherish your mother's memory without sadness now that a couple of years have passed. I'm sure you'll meet her again and she's doing well now. :thumbsup:


Karoliina

 

[Larry G]

Thank you, Karoliina, much appreciated. It's really hard to describe our connection. All I know is my heart is telling me this is an old friend that I'm deeply connected to. I wish I could ask my heart more questions.


It's hard to vocalize it or describe it accurately. The very first moment I met her, she had a little fan with her. I wasn't even looking in her direction half the time. When my body temperature would rise, she would point her little fan at me. My aunt noticed this, giggling. It was as if she walked right into my mind or something, lol. This seems like something minor, but imagine you are thirsty and someone you've just met just walks in smiling staring into your soul handing you a glass of water immediately and you didn't say a word. That's what if feels like, lol.


The only thing tangible I have is the comment she made that ties in to my mother's dream. Anyway, thanks again for the welcome back. I really like this forum, but I haven't been here in a while.


Larry

 

[Angelcat]

Hi Larry - nice to see you back here.


I completely agree with everything Karoliina has said and she always puts it so well too :thumbsup:


I have a couple of other thoughts for you to consider: I read once somewhere about a case where a child suffered a traumatic event and thereafter seemed to be a totally different person. If I remember rightly, there was evidence later, through regression, that the soul of this child had left during the trauma and a new soul had entered, hence the change of personality. I have no idea if this sort of thing does actually happen, but it might be worth trying to find out if this girl had any sort of trauma around the time that your dear mother passed on.


The other thing that springs to mind is the possibility that this little girl is psychic and even a born healer. Perhaps she immediately picked up on the fact that you were grieving the loss of your mother and responded very strongly and lovingly. Also, maybe your mother has taken the opportunity to try and communicate with you through this child by reminding you of the dream she shared with you. Stranger things have happened!


Whatever the answer may be to it all, like Karoliina , I hope you are able to feel at peace about your mother - those who have passed on are never far away from us, just out of reach a little while.


Bless you!


Angelcat

 

[Karoliina]

I completely agree with everything Karoliina has said and she always puts it so well too :thumbsup:
The other thing that springs to mind is the possibility that this little girl is psychic and even a born healer. Perhaps she immediately picked up on the fact that you were grieving the loss of your mother and responded very strongly and lovingly. Also, maybe your mother has taken the opportunity to try and communicate with you through this child by reminding you of the dream she shared with you. Stranger things have happened!

Thank you for the compliment, Angelcat.


I thought this second thought of yours is wonderful and could very well be the answer here. :thumbsup:


Karoliina

 

[Larry G]

Thank you both for the replies. Oh I definitely think she was a psychic, and even perhaps a healer. She was in my mind no doubt, well I don't know how to describe. If not in my mind, she could pick up on my feelings, but I mean to the point of my body temperature, lol. It was weird.


I know she is a loving child, and of course I feel that that is unappreciated. I got into a bit of trouble there because they admonished me for not being stern enough with her. I just don't like people being too stern with children or not allowing them to express themselves. I would allow her to watch television in the early mornings or listen to her tell stories or whatnot. My aunt's approach is a "children should be seen and not heard kind of thing".


It is quite possible she might have experienced trauma around the time my mother died, I do not know her history. She is newly adopted. She had been in foster care her entire life. When she spoke to me over the summer it was as if she'd kept all of her innermost thoughts to herself and just poured them out on me. That's the only way to describe it. Suffice it to say, that leaves an impact.


My aunt has told me she thinks she is kind of enigmatic, sometimes acting younger than she is, sometimes older. I think this is because of her history. Sadly, she seems to bother them, and they "tolerate" her, which I cannot fathom. I think she is an angel.


Ironically, since meeting her I've been in a depression because I hadn't really dealt with my mom's death. I've been living in a stressful situation since her death just trying to cope day to day. I'd closed off my heart really good. When I met her, I decided to allow my heart to be opened. So, since I don't see them very often, that has actually led me into a deeo depression. Because she is like a bit of my mother, or if not my mother, at least a very bright light as if she were. And, for some reason I miss her as if she were an important friend, which I find puzzling and therefore my strong belief in a reincarnated soul or at least some kind of deja vu going on.


As for my family, unfortunately we are not as close as I would like. When I am there, we are very close, but finding them on the phone or e-mail is difficult, and I have transportation issues, so it is not so simple as to just drop by for a visit. They are like a moving train. Spending time with them is a matter of scheduling and like jumping aboard a moving train, lol.


I do think you're on to something though. If she is not my mother's soul reincarnated, sometimes I feel as if my mother is trying to communicate through her. Sometimes I'll get unique messages. I saw a monarch butterfly the day my mother died. I saw a monarch butterfly the day before I met this girl, flying over the place I met her. I passed by an outfit the girl wore when I last saw her (strewn with butterflies) with a deck of cards: "You can do this", "Failure is not an option", as if she was trying to tell me to stay in contact with the girl. "Failure is not an option" is something my mom and I would say to each other all the time.


So just stuff like that I could go on and on. Anyway, I don't want to delve into it too deeply, I know this forum is strictly related to reincarnation, so I don't want to go too much into sides issues like psychicness or unexplained phenomena, but yes it is there.


I do believe she is a healer though and definitely psychic and empathic. I believe I am an empath as well, maybe she picks up on this.


I'd actually picked up a book on psychic children in the days before meeting her (hmm, hehe), but I've yet to read it. Perhaps, I should get started.


If someone has a cough or something or shakes, I will do the same, that kind of thing. At any rate, I'm kinda long winded and this really isn't about reincarnation, so I'll stop for now, hehe. Thank you guys for listening.


Larry

 

[Ailish]

Hi Larry,


I am going to be the “fly in the ointment” so to speak


I have no doubts that this little girl is an amazing, loving child. But I think it’s also important to recognize that coming out of foster care and trying to adjust to a new family is a huge thing - for her and her new parents.


Children like this will often have abandonment issues - they will often seek a source outside of their new family to speak with - if they speak about their feelings at all. They do not want to be vulnerable to their new family until they learn that it’s really okay - and that can take a lot of time until she feels secure and bonded with her family. Children will often “act up” in front of their immediate family by pushing boundaries (something you may not see her doing). It does not mean she is a bad girl - it just means she is testing them, making sure she is really wanted and they will not send her back.


Your Aunt may appear to be a little too strict to you, but she also needs to set limits and consequences for bad behavior. Sometimes tough love is necessary.

My aunt has told me she thinks she is kind of enigmatic, sometimes acting younger than she is, sometimes older.

That is very common for most children in her situation. Often they will try to “please” others by acting a certain way to gain love and acceptance - and in some cases manipulate the situation (again, why it’s necessary to establish boundaries early as a parent).

Ironically, since meeting her I've been in a depression because I hadn't really dealt with my mom's death. I've been living in a stressful situation since her death just trying to cope day to day. I'd closed off my heart really good. When I met her, I decided to allow my heart to be opened.

It’s great that you’ve opened up yourself again to the possibilities - they are limitless! Have you considered shifting your focus elsewhere when you feel depressed? Perhaps volunteering to help the elderly or something similar? I know when I am feeling bad about something - a shift in focus and helping others always makes me feel better.


I understand how hard it is to lose a loved one - and how grief can be so difficult to move through. Have you considered speaking with someone about it? That can be very beneficial. I’d also recommend reading Elisabeth Kubler Ross’s works on the five stages of grief - especially On Death and Dying - it’s a wonderful book.


As for having a past life connection with this child - you may or you may not. But the past isn’t what is important here - it’s the NOW. Bringing this child healing and understanding in her present life - and giving her the tools and opportunities to become successful in her life should be the communal goal of the whole family.


Appreciate the blessing of having your family - and this little girl - in your life now. She sounds like a special little girl - and I am certain that in time she will flourish and fly like a butterfly


Best of luck to you on your journey,


Ailish

 

[Larry G]

Hi Larry,
I am going to be the “fly in the ointment” so to speak

Hi Ailish,


No problem at all. Don't get me wrong, I think this little girl is EXACTLY where she needs to be. She's certainly in a better place in life than where she was, and she needs guidance, and she certainly has it.


I was just coming at it from my point of view. It can be hard to witness tough love in action, especially when you don't see the whole picture. I'm sure she acts up with them, and she has admitted as much to me.

Your Aunt may appear to be a little too strict to you, but she also needs to set limits and consequences for bad behavior. Sometimes tough love is necessary.

I do understand, really. I understand that I did not see the full picture there. Rest assured, I did not interfere with this process.


All I can say is that I had nothing to give her really like reducing chores or whatnot. The last time I was there, she was the same way. She was better bonded with them, and that made me feel better.

It’s great that you’ve opened up yourself again to the possibilities - they are limitless! Have you considered shifting your focus elsewhere when you feel depressed? Perhaps volunteering to help the elderly or something similar? I know when I am feeling bad about something - a shift in focus and helping others always makes me feel better.

I've tried. My schedule at work varies however and it makes it difficult. But I would like to do so in the future if I can.

I understand how hard it is to lose a loved one - and how grief can be so difficult to move through. Have you considered speaking with someone about it? That can be very beneficial. I’d also recommend reading Elisabeth Kubler Ross’s works on the five stages of grief - especially On Death and Dying - it’s a wonderful book.

Thanks, I'll check into it. It sounds like a good book.

As for having a past life connection with this child - you may or you may not. But the past isn’t what is important here - it’s the NOW. Bringing this child healing and understanding in her present life - and giving her the tools and opportunities to become successful in her life should be the communal goal of the whole family.
Appreciate the blessing of having your family - and this little girl - in your life now. She sounds like a special little girl - and I am certain that in time she will flourish and fly like a butterfly


Best of luck to you on your journey,


Ailish

Thanks, Ailish, to you as well.


Larry