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My opening to reincarnation

A

Amelorn

New Member
I am not sure where to begin with this, so I hope this doesn't seem incoherent.

For years, I have been told by family, friends, and strangers that I possess an old soul. I attribute this to a deep knowledge of history, the way I perceive relationships, and the depth with which I convey emotions, when speaking on such topics.

During my life, I had an affinity for Scotch-Irish culture. When I was 4, I declared to my mother that I wished to learn to play. When I was 16, I had the hot air unique to a teenage boy, so I learned to play. At 18, I had my first kilt and a set of bagpipes. My 19th birthday was celebrated at my university, that is, the University of St Andrews, Scotland. On friday, sept 18, I will fly off to begin my second year there.

My family is almost entirely Irish, with the rest being German. My family contains the names McCormack, Fitzgerald, Walsh, and Maloney. We know our cousins in Ireland. Once I was having a deep discussion at 5am with my third cousin, Michael. [To clarify, my grandmother and Michael's grandmother are first cousins]. We were discussing how we've both been afflicted by severe identity crises. IE, we have our "real self", a personality we hide from the world, and a more socially acceptable personality we show off to most of our friends and family. During that meeting, he told me that I would be happier in a bygone century. He echoes my beliefs on that matter. I am fascinated by articles of the era from 1880-1920. For writing, I exclusively prefer a gold-tipped fountain pen. For timekeeping, a pocketwatch. For clothing, I am happiest with a long wool overcoat , a waistcoat, and a top hat. For the sake of simplicity, I do not don such formal clothes for everyday wear, but I take the overcoat EVERYWHERE. I do wear a kilt to German class about once a week, but that's another matter.

When I am in Scotland, I seem to spiritually rejuvenate. I will go into the green woods, smoke a tobacco pipe (do you get why some of my friends call me the 19 year old, "old man"?), listen to gaelic music, keep company with the lark and thrush, and reflect.

I have close relationships with my maternal grandfather, my third cousin Mike, and a friend HG. The H is a title I ascribed to him as an inside joke (the German word "Herr"). We discuss things far deeper than I do with anyone else. The curiosity is my lack of closeness with women. I wonder if it is because I still have quite a bit of the "girl chasing" mentality in me (give me a break, I'm a 19 year old guy who is fond of his whisky). My relationships with those 3 are curious. Mike is Irish and as I said before, we've discussed deep issues, and we love more mundane things such as the same drinks and finish each other's Lord of the Rings quotes. (How nerdy did that sound?)

My love of my grandfather runs deeper. He has provided stability and sanity in my life where my parents could not. He gave me more material support than I could dream of. On a lark, he spotted me $1,250 when I was short some money for a bankwire to pay my tuition. He's not an emotional person, but it is written in our smiles, laughs, and discussions how he feels. We did get a fine hug in when I landed at JFK airport coming home from Scotland. Grandma was miffed that she didn't get the first one, but I do not disappointed. Grandad is unique in that in him the bloodlines of Ireland and Germany mix. I always found medieval and 1870-1918 German history interesting. I now major in German, and traveled there in Jan '09. I had translated his grandparents' marriage certificate from Dusseldorf.

HG fascinated me the most. He comes from a Scotch-Irish family. He is 2 inches taller than me, similar build style, freckled almost identically, and with that ginger-red hair peculiar to the British/Emerald Isle(s). When I go out with him, people swear we are brothers. We discuss such topics as "would you be immortal", our aspirations, politics, religion etc etc. We're both atheist and (more or less) libertarian, so we agree on much. We're also both deeply interested in finance and the like. I won't go deeply into this, but I do not believe that reincarnation and atheism are mutually exclusive. One can believe in the reincarnation of the soul without believing in a "God" in the traditional sense. I am open to further insights on this, but more later.
 
I am taken by a strange feeling, when I think about my friendship with HG. Our friendship is nearly ideal. I met him in Scotland, though he is a New Jersey resident (I am New York). I helped him out when he was "homeless" at college when he was thrown out from his dorm (university bureaucratic nonsense). He repaid me wonderfully with a trip up to Maine. Two issues particularly interest me. About 3 times, I nearly blurted out that I had a feeling one of us would betray the other, which makes no sense, as subjectively, he's like a brother to me, while objectively, we've had a very "balanced" friendship. I go through the sacrifices and risks of him rooming with me (against the rules of the dorm), and he took me on a roadtrip (he drove, I do not drive) and was quite compassionate/helpful when I hurt my back jumping off a 40 foot cliff into a lake. Another strange similarity since he has back problems, though they were much more serious. We also are not very mainstream, though in different ways. For example, he likes alternative opera (yes, it exists), while I like scotch-irish songs which range from 150-800 years in age.


One last point with HG is that we're both "exiles". Both of us have little interest in working in America. We want to go abroad. I am fixated on Germany/Austria/Switzerland, and he is willing to try anywhere where profit is found.


I have to get to know Michael better, but I am beginning to feel as if this is not the "first time" I have encountered Grandad or HG. Many of your stories on this forum include families or friends being reunited in different lives. I am under the impression that our souls are drawn to those we forge deep connections with throughout the ages. My grandfather's birthday is coming up, and given my feelings towards him, I invest much time and thought into him. LAst year, I put in a German quote which is something of a toast that his grandchildren's praises would resound even after death. (In that context, it is morbid, though in context, it is strikingly profound and kind) I am planning on writing this quote from an ancient gaelic song in the card:


Thug mi gaol dhut, 's cha'n fhaod mu àicheadh;


Cha ghaol bliadhna, 's cha ghaol ràidhe;


Ach gaol a thòisich nuair bha mi 'm phàisde,


'S nach searg a chaoidh, gus an claoidh am bàs mi.


I dearly love you, I do not deny,


Not a year's love nor for just a season;


But a love that began when I was a child


And will not wither until death releases me.


I wonder, given my fascination with business, emigration ( I fully intend to live out my live and die in Europe, though I was born in America. For the 2010/2011 academic year, I will teach English in Germany as part of my degree, for example), what if I was my grandfather's German grandfather, who came to the US circa 1910? I have an attraction to the period. When I became the littlest history buff at age 8, I studied that period voraciously, which was the golden age of colonial Europe. In university, a friend from India called me one of the most Western people he had ever met (not in a pejorative sense). My great great grandfather served in the German army shortly before WWI. In my daydreams, I would often fixate on the concept of soldiers dying, though in the context of friends, not myself. That seems in-line with a soldier who would have been discharged and emigrated shortly before such a catastrophic war.


My great great grandfather was a businessman, and as Grandad described, quite a collector of pocketwatches (Grandad still has them. Magnificent elgin pieces in 14k gold cases). This relative also had a special relationship with "the boy" (what he called my Grandad). He took them to Florida, and lived well into my grandfather's adulthood, which was rare in that generation. It's not hard to imagine a "role reversal" that suddenly Johann Georg Jakob the grandfather would become James, the grandson. My grandfather is living into my adulthood now (at 77 years and good health, he'll be here for awhile, I hope). Everyone remarks at our closeness, my Grandma, my mom, my friends, my cousins etc etc.


My friend HG is a curious case. I feel remarkably fulfilled in his company and think of his like a brother, but that strange shadow of betrayal darkens the heart. I perceive that some wrong in the past may need to be righted through the continued fidelity of our friendship. I've never felt that way in another person's company.


My dreams give me interesting clues. I remember having an Egypt fascination at 10 years old. I dedicated a journal to Ramses II (what 10 year old does that?). In a dream I remember, I was hunting lions with Ramses, though something happened that I was embraced by him by an oasis or river. The man had 100 children, so it's not unfeasible. In another dream when I was 12 or 13, I quite vividly died in a modernish hospital (IE clean and modern, but no computers or electronic monitoring). Very interesting, considering my grandad's grandfather died in 1958. Some people perceive themselves hovering above their corpse. I remember viewing the hospital, doctor, and people from my body, while hearing the doctor declare my heart had stopped. I perceived bacteria, if that makes sense, so I do not believe it was a heart attack. The sensation was if my spirit was still in my body when it saw and heard all this. This dream happened once


My other dream was something I could only describe as a children's prison. I was a child in a courtyard, with a mean woman looking down from a high building which encircled. A wrought iron portcullis style gate blocked the exit. Portcullis This dream is a curiosity, as it recurred very frequently with almost identical similarity. It stopped after age 10 or 11.


It seems I have been a male in all my potential pasts. With the exception of the egyptian scenario, I was a white male.


I am most fascinated by the idea of the same souls recurring in our succeeding incarnations as family and friends. The idea of me being my grandfather's grandfather in particular interests me. I am sorry to throw so much in here, but your thoughts, musings, and stories are much appreciated.
 
Welcome Amelorn.


Have you ever practiced meditation? Do you record your dreams? These two things may help to provide you with the validation or perhaps a sense of knowing that your suspicions are correct or not.
 
Welcome to the forum, Amelorn. :)


It's possible you were your great-great-grandfather, and it also sounds like you have a good place to start past life explorations with your strong fascinations over places and eras. :thumbsup:


Like Stardis I was wondering if you've ever tried meditating or a regression to get access to your past life memories? You can find help learning these on this forum.


Karoliina
 
Welcome to the forum! I agree Carol's books are a wonderful place to start. Like the others said, have you ever tried meditation or a regression? It sounds like you have lots of good places to start to access your past life memories.
 
Hi, Amelorn, and welcome to the forum. I'm an American like yourself, and I remember past lives from Scotland and Ireland, too. Do you ever listen to the Thistle and Shamrock with Fiona Ritchie? I love that show and when it first came on in the 80's was when I first started remembering past lives. Around that time a girl that I was babysitting said something like, "You seem like you come from a different century!" :laugh: I wonder if I knew her from another lifetime. I'm pretty sure it wasn't from my clothes, though I too have my own fashion quirks ... in my later teens and early twenties I did a lot of traveling around Europe wearing my "lucky hat," which was a Scottish-plaid cap. :)
 
Hello Amelorn!


Welcome to the Forum - I'm glad you found us!


I found your posts very interesting. I would love to hear more of your impressions on the dreams you had, and I wonder if you have experienced other past life recals such as spontaneous flashes. You seem to be in the right environment for it (Scotland I mean), and perhaps your present behaviour and mannerisms may be influenced by past life memories that have yet to surface.


Other members have given you some excellent reading suggestions already. If you are fond of writing, there are some interesting suggestions in this thread...


I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts!


Again, welcome! :thumbsup:
 
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