my recalling lives, overwhelming me

[taehan]

Hi everyone! How are you? Its past 3 am and in my insomnia ive decided to post my first thread. Ive had my past lives recalls years ago but for some reason, really vivid memories and flashbacks are coming to me lately, and its overwhelming..
From your experience, do you know why that could be?
So anyways, here it goes

The first i ever remembered was being an asian child, running through a foggy hall, in red clothes carrying some silver object. I guess to some religios procession. I remember having also a very good friend/sibling with who we'd get in trouble and be told off by some old manw ho was our tutor. I remember something being celebrated with fireworks (they werent like the ones from now, obviously.. this is like some ancient memory) and someone telling me very private words that i never forgot til this day. Those words helped me go through a lot in my present lifetime and so, i never felt i aws alone but i also felt i had a quest to find this person. There are a lot of more details but im resuming.

faaAAAAST forward to 20th century, the other life i recall with huge security is being a man of around 50, i remember seeing my gray suit and white shirt sleeves, i dont know if i was famous but it felt like i was controversial. I remember going somewhere to do something specific and a lot of photographers and journalists were waiting for me at the exit. But it didnt feel like i was some artist but more like someone who had information and was being chased, like a politician or a spy. After that i go to a newly made building with my assistant/right hand or whatever he was, i enter this apartment where a couple was waiting for me. They tell me to look throuhg the window to appreciate the view, from another window this girl tells me to stretch more and if eel a hand pushing me and i remember vividly even to this day how it was falling and seeing the pavement closer and closer in motion until everything goes black. I remember being like 5 when i had this dream (had it several times, exactly the same every time) and the first thing id feel when i woke up was like "**** now i havev to do it all again" so i figure i was someone carrying an investigation/improtant information/someone who was emerging and getting what they wanted who got its life cut.
Needless to say i have a really severe heights phobia..

I have another one too, this is way newer, i was a girl who got killed by her boyfriend/lover/partner after having an argument. I remember being like in holidays with this person i remember the sunset we watched together. We got into our grey car, and ir emember a black person stopping us by to say something. Something happened and this lover and i had an argument inside the car while driving and he crashed the car purposely against some rocky wall to kill us.
I have the feeling i met who drove that car, in this lifetime 2 months ago. I dont feel any resentment against this person but i feel i know specifically who he is and we had a huge attraction towards each other, we had a brief encounteer that filled us with emotions and feelings even thogh we were complete strangers, and our goodbye was kind of traumatic too.

ANYWAYS IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR, CONGRATULATIONS AND THANK YOU
Its my PLs two cents and i thoght it was time for me to open about this, since i always kept it for myself and only my close believer friends.
Also, i obviously would like to know who the hell was i, specially since ive always felt really really distant from all my family except my cousin.. i feel like i have to go finding "my people" through this life.
Thats all folks

 

[tanguerra]

Hi taehan

Welcome to the forum.

You are in the right place to talk about it!

Ive had my past lives recalls years ago but for some reason, really vivid memories and flashbacks are coming to me lately, and its overwhelming..From your experience, do you know why that could be?

I think the answer is likely to be something to do with this...

I have the feeling i met who drove that car, in this lifetime 2 months ago. I dont feel any resentment against this person but i feel i know specifically who he is and we had a huge attraction towards each other, we had a brief encounteer that filled us with emotions and feelings even thogh we were complete strangers, and our goodbye was kind of traumatic too.

When we meet someone that we have known before it can trigger lots of emotions and feelings about the past, especially, of course if you had such a powerful experience last time. No wonder you are feeling lots of strong feelings about it.

The first thing I suggest is to start keeping a journal. Get yourself a nice little book and write down all the dreams and everything you can remember, just as you have here, in as much detail as you can. Somehow writing by hand is good to make the brainwaves work. Think about how you feel, what connects these threads together? Once you start to work it out the flashbacks will subside, so don't worry. Use this time to write it all down now while it's freshest. Later on you can try to find out exactly who you might have been, but that's not the main thing right now.

What are the most recent flashbacks you have been having about? Are they several different lives, or all the most recent one that involved this guy?

 

[taehan]

Hi! Thanks for your reply ^^
What you said makes sense to me, since ive been haivng these memories bombing me and finally driving me here lol since i met him.
Ive tried keeping a journal before but part of me felt it was pointless and i should just let it go. But this was years ago and if eel im more mature and ready now, and maybe back then just wasnt the time, and there were things i wouldnt be able to understand. I will start doing that now, thank you!!

What are the most recent flashbacks you have been having about? Are they several different lives, or all the most recent one that involved this guy?

Lately ive been having flashbacks of the first life ive commented, in which i was an asian boy. I think that is one of the most complex ive had ebcause everything about it came to me as memories, so it was things i KNEW, but i didnt live in this life. Nor i dreamed it, it was just memories that didnt happen in this life.
I felt like some kind of desperation, because i know i died as a boy back then so i started feeling somehow like in panic ? Even though i knew this maybe the meeting ith this guy triggered that back to me, even if it was another life where he didnt seem to be involved.
That life is very important to me because it feels way more connected to my current one life than the others. Maybe i have "karma to clean" about that life now, i dont know.
This memory/flashback of how i died in the life involving that guy is the one that less detail i have about. But after i met him it hit me that THAT was the person and i really have no doubt. Its like a piece fitting in those kids toys. But no new memories have risen from that life, i was only remembered of it after years of not thinking about it or remembering it.

 

[tanguerra]

Good work. This could certainly be a good clue as to why you are feeling so anxious about this guy, why you are having these flashbacks, and how you might begin to work it out. You are the one who really knows all the answers to this and your journal will be a big help. But I can give you a few ideas that might help.

I felt like some kind of desperation, because i know i died as a boy back then so i started feeling somehow like in panic ? Even though i knew this maybe the meeting with this guy triggered that back to me, even if it was another life where he didnt seem to be involved.

Emotions are the language of the soul. The mind uses words. The body uses actions and sensations. But the soul is all about the 'heart'. Feelings are very important links between different lives. So have a think about this strong feeling of 'panic', which as you say could have been triggered by meeting this man again.

The first i ever remembered was being an asian child, running through a foggy hall, in red clothes carrying some silver object. I guess to some religios procession. I remember having also a very good friend/sibling with who we'd get in trouble and be told off by some old man who was our tutor. I remember something being celebrated with fireworks (they werent like the ones from now, obviously.. this is like some ancient memory) and someone telling me very private words that i never forgot til this day. Those words helped me go through a lot in my present lifetime and so, i never felt i aws alone but i also felt i had a quest to find this person...

Can you pinpoint why the boy felt 'panicked'? Was it just about getting into trouble with the tutor, or something more?
Sometimes these things can be a clue.

There is a good thread you might like called 'The Heart Center'. It describes a meditation technique you can use to tap into the emotions of a memory and get some more detail, without having to wait for a random flashback. Give it a try. It's very relaxing too, so that's a bonus.

 

[taehan]

I had not seen it that way but you are right, wow i feel im going to school for past lives lol (stupid comparation, but i feel im learing a lot, so thank you) I didnt feel panic in those memories, i felt in panic now, in this current life at the though of being murdered (EVEN when i already knew its how i died). But as you say, this guy who was responsible for my death in a different lifetime could have triggered the anxious feeling of being persecuted and murdered in other lives. I think since i felt true, clean feelings for him he didnt cause me bad feelings, but it did trigger the fear and panic feelings of other lives.
Funny i just realize, in the 3 lives i remember i was murdered in all of them.. ? what the heck.
Seems like ive been having lives of making enemies or surrounding me with bad people.. that would explain why i grew up with social problems, like being unable to speak or feeling everything i did was being observed and judged..

By the way i checked the thread and it made me feel like meditating. Ive never done it but im going to try to get there and see what i can get from it. I think it would relieve me a lot, ive been unnecesary feeling a lot of stress over this issue the past month
Hopefully the journal will be help Thank you

 

[tanguerra]

Good. Happy to be able to help.

I had not seen it that way but you are right, wow i feel im going to school for past lives lol (stupid comparation, but i feel im learning a lot, so thank you)

That's what we're here for.

Let us know how it goes?

 

[taehan]

of course! THANK YOU <3

 

[Inhaltslos]

Hi there, taehan. One thing I know from my own experiences and speaking about reincarnation with others is that these feelings of being overwhelmed come in waves. Though at the moment you feel like you're drowning in memories and feelings, take some comfort in knowing that it doesn't last forever. Doesn't meant these feelings go away completely (pesky past life stuff always seems to return), but in time you'll get centered again. Try to get as much information out of these current feelings as you can. I myself had a few years of being very upset and, luckily, did keep journals. When those pl feelings returned eleven years later, I still had a way to access some of what I was going through those first times of putting everything together. Like tanguerra mentioned, write everything down. Later, when those feelings go by the wayside and recall dries up, you'll have quite a bit to work with.

 

[taehan]

Hey, how are you? Thank you so much for your advice. I started the journal and let me tell you it did help me 'order' at least some things into place, and even though simple, i realized things i didnt think about, such as being murdered in all the lives i remember. It explains a lot of my current life issues. Also i had the chance to put clearly and in time order the events as i remember, and with it, more memories surfaced to me, as how i acted as a kid when i first go them, and small details of the other lives, i also wrote down my feelings towards the people i remember and i think it will progress positively.
Thank you for your reassurance it made me feel more calm. When we are not thinking about it seems like it doenst matter, but when the feelings come back in such a raw for it can be very blinding. Hopefully the things i go discovering in the way will help me be a better person this life and understand myself better. Thank youuu

 

[tanguerra]

Excellent work. Glad to hear it.

Usually when we get this 'flood' of past life memories, as inhalstlos says, it can be very overwhelming. I think this is because our 'subconscious' or 'soul' or however you like to think of it, is trying to tell us something, but we're not listening. So the 'psyche' will start shouting at us in dreams and past live de ja vus and so on until we get it.

Once you start to pay attention, it doesn't have to shout so much and things will settle down. As you say, it is already starting to feel better, yet you are putting more pieces together. For now, just pay attention to what it is trying to come through with all these feelings and emotions. How does it relate to what is going on in the present? You don't have to tell us all your private stuff if you don't want to, but have a think about it.

Maybe there is a warning in there not to repeat a pattern, particularly with this guy? Maybe there is a message in there somewhere about why this keeps happening? Are the same people involved in more than one life? Recognise anyone else in the present life? Keep looking. You will find it. One day it will hopefully go aha! and start to make more sense.

 

[taehan]

So the 'psyche' will start shouting at us in dreams and past live de ja vus and so on until we get it.

This is exactly how it felt, id owuld have really emotionally charged flashbacks or images that would just drawn me to look for an answer, i just had never meditated or knew how to do it, never met someone who talk freely about this or who had any experience who could help me, at least from where to start. So at one point i just sat and took my time to listen to it and dedicate time to try to solve somehting, but i didnt even know what i was trying to solve. I tried to remember the words i remembered from those lives, and that was a start. Someone had mentioned "carriages" back then while showing me something, those words deeply affected me so i looked for carriages on google for hours until i saw an image that triggered me and i swear, i could not stop my face from crying. My mouth would turn upside down and i wouldtn be able to control it it was just beyond me. So i FIGURED at least that was something meaningful. Those carriages were of a certain dynasty and i looked up that time etc.. but theres so little information because its so long ago, i feel there are things i will never know, but at least i want some peace. (sorry for the rant)

How does it relate to what is going on in the present? You don't have to tell us all your private stuff if you don't want to, but have a think about it.

Lately i have been feeling like something big is coming and its going to happen, like im on the verge fo something in my life, but the "calm before the storm" turned unbearable, 2016 has been the year of people leaving me. A lot of people left physically. Also i started going to a psychologist and im starting to remove dirt from my life.

Are the same people involved in more than one life? Recognise anyone else in the present life?

Its funny cause most people tell to recognize people knowing at least, that they were in a past life together but in my case i just cant feel it. I do feel meaningful connections with 2 friends and the person i was in a relationship but i cant tell if they were actually with me in a past life, i just guess they did. But thisguy, even if our connection wasnt meaningful was the first person i could actually recognize. But i could only remember him from that one life only, i dont know if he even played a role in the others (i figure he must have but i dnot know)

 

[tanguerra]

Keep working on it and journaling about it. Sometimes things will suddenly become clear and sometimes it takes a while.

The carriage would be a big clue I suspect. Print out the photo and stick it in your journal. Don't worry too much about the historical period yet, although that is also a big clue to when and where it happened and may be helpful.

When you are 'in the mood' and have some quiet time, try doing a meditation on the carriage. Just sit or lie quietly and relax for a few minutes. Try to stop thinking about day to day things, worries about if it's going to work or what might or might not happen... Just drop those thoughts for now. Focus on your gentle breathing. Count backwards slowly from 50. If you mind wanders off, just start again at the number you got lost at. When you get to 10, really start to focus on your relaxation. Relax your face, your stomach. Just 'let go'. Count the last few numbers as slowly as you want. Breathe gently and 'prepare' to 'go deep'.

It's important to take the time to do the relaxation properly or you won't get a good result. It can take a bit of practice to learn how to stop your day-to-day thoughts from butting in. Sometimes I imagine a pond with lots of ripples on the surface. Gradually it settles and becomes smooth, then I can see the rocks and fish and plants under the water.

Then when you are at 1... picture the carriage as clearly as you can in your mind. Start with the photo image if that's easier. Get it as clear as you can in your 'mind's eye'. Then try think more about this carriage. What's going on? Are you riding in it? Are you watching it drive past? Who is in it? Is someone else with you? Is it hot/cold, day/night, winter/summer? Just go with what comes. What are you wearing? Are you rich or poor? You will know the answers. Just trust yourself. Then think about how you are feeling? Happy/sad.... angry/confused... Ask yourself why?

Don't be scared. If something 'bad' comes up that you don't like, just wiggle your toes and open your eyes. Be sure to write down what you've got, even if it's only a fragment and even if you are not sure it's 'real'. It may be another part of the puzzle that will fit with something else later. If you don't get anything, don't worry. It might come by itself later as a 'flashback'. It's all good practice anyway.

 

[taehan]

You are helping me so much, really. I had no clue how to meditate or even calm my mind to focus on these kind of things. I REALLY appreciate all your help a lot! And i will update on it as soon as i have time. That life feels very traumatic for the fact that i was a boy and i didnt deserve to be killed (i mean, children in general, right..) but int he other two i did get to be a grown person and seemed to have known of the danger i was in. So like, "paid" in certain way and hopefully will learn from mistakes, bt if eel i have this "thirst" over claiming something that was mine in that life that i was a boy, and that i didnt have the right to defend myself or give a fight. Maybe its that.

 

[tanguerra]

You are very welcome. It is my pleasure to be able to help and give you some pointers. I am glad it is useful.

So like, "paid" in certain way and hopefully will learn from mistakes, bt if eel i have this "thirst" over claiming something that was mine in that life that i was a boy, and that i didnt have the right to defend myself or give a fight. Maybe its that.

Trust yourself. It probably is. Do you know what you wanted to 'claim'? That might be an interesting angle to explore? Was it the same thing, or the same sort of thing in each life? Or was it something else that links this feeling of wanting to 'claim' something? Again, you only have to tell us what you want. You can save the really private stuff for your journal, or share, as you wish.

This idea that 'karma' is all about paying for past mistakes is a bit misguided in my opinion. I think bad things happen because bad things happen. I'm not a believer that there is some kind of puppet master making all this happen. I think people do 'bad' things because they don't know any better and need to learn.

In my view 'karma' describes experience, it is more about learning than being punished. Life after life we might make the same mistakes, but then, eventually we work it out and learn not to keep doing whatever it is and find another way of solving our problems, getting what we want, finding our purpose in life, finding love, or whatever it is we are seeking. So, in that way you could say you 'pay' for wisdom with suffering. But I don't think there is an external force doing this 'to' us. More, it is when we start to see the patterns things start to make more sense.

For example, some people remember being rich or famous, or, yes, even royalty. But often it was not a happy experience for them, because they were lonely or mean or taken advantage of (or murdered... eek! ). Often they decide not to pursue those things again because they have 'been there and done that' and found they did not really like it. These decisions are often made at a 'subconscious' level, from childhood, and if asked they might not be able to explain why, but they just 'know' that is not for them. People might only start to have insights into their past lives later, as adults, similar to what you are experiencing.

Another story from a while back is a lovely example. In the present life, he was a mild mannered, white doctor, who kept having these disturbing memories. He remembered being a young, black, gang member in South Central LA, in the 1970s-80s when it was all pretty crazy. His dear friend got shot and died in his arms. He could not help him and had the thought he should have studied medicine instead of getting mixed up in this scene. He made up his mind to do so, but he too was killed not long after this. That gave him a lot of sadness and upset to recall it all. But then he realised in this life, ever since he was a little kid, all he ever wanted to be was a doctor.

 

[taehan]

Trust yourself. It probably is. Do you know what you wanted to 'claim'? That might be an interesting angle to explore? Was it the same thing, or the same sort of thing in each life? Or was it something else that links this feeling of wanting to 'claim' something? Again, you only have to tell us what you want. You can save the really private stuff for your journal, or share, as you wish.

It feels like i wanted to claim a place. I will write down to you (so sorry lmao) what i got just lastnight. While writing on my journal a lot of random flashbacks i had when iwas a kid that i had forgotten came back when i forced myself to answer the questions such as my moods/class/day time etc
-I got put in a place and separated from my friend. I tried to be contempt and hapy with this "new place" i was being put in but i didnt really felt comfortbale. But it was beyond me and that i should be honoring actually.
-I felt i was a really adored and liked child, kind of like only children. I remember wearing silky red clothes and doing things such as learning or adorating which would be considered a luxury, yet i didnt really care about it.
-i was being carried a lot, but this was after they put me in this place and separated me from my friend. Which made me only see him/her from afar. I felt they would forget me,, i felt them kind of numb towards me so i didnt know if they missed me, resented me, loved me, hated me, etc.
-i remember awoman with black hair (this is new) bing behind me while i was being carried, but nothing else.
-this man who was my tutor took me away in the middle of the night and hid me while some people passed. I remember seeing fire but that was all. I think they were taking me away/making me escape. I know i died after that but i dont remember how, i just remember the last words someone told me.

the other life where i was a man who got murdered, it feels like i was either an investigator/journalist/detective/spy/or even some kind of entertainer who got into mob-by stuff and ended up trusting in the wrong people and killed. It feels like i was carrying some kind of investigation/research and my death was related to that
(Now that i think, maybe someone took my place/credit over it.. which would reinforce the other life "claiming" thing)

The life where i was a girl.. i just feel i wasnt of importance, like if i was some secondary character in someone's life and not holding any weight. I think in any case i would feel my life got cut unjustly..

Another story from a while back is a lovely example. In the present life, he was a mild mannered, white doctor, who kept having these disturbing memories. He remembered being a young, black, gang member in South Central LA, in the 1970s-80s when it was all pretty crazy. His dear friend got shot and died in his arms. He could not help him and had the thought he should have studied medicine instead of getting mixed up in this scene. He made up his mind to do so, but he too was killed not long after this. That gave him a lot of sadness and upset to recall it all. But then he realised in this life, ever since he was a little kid, all he ever wanted to be was a doctor.

That was really touching.. and in the end put a smile on my face. Do you think theres an end? That we can learn to a oint where we are no longer "useful" and we have nothing to accomplish here or we just keep coming back just to live?
Ive known of people who said we have a specific nnumber of reincarnaions
some beleie that we must accomplish certain things, others that we just have to live..

pd: today i gaduated after a lot of struggling! So it was a really tense month but i am FREE NOW! and i will try to meditate some tonight. Ivebeen wanting to do this for long but didnt have the right caacity to do so.
About what you said of lookng at the carriage thing.. seeing things of that time or even the carriage make sme really sad, in a way i cant describe, just a sadness i cant get off, that makes me really uncomfortable, ugly feeling. So i dont know how to work that out..
Do you recommend me any tip to meditate? music? is thereany specific way or "rule" to follow? Thank you for listening to me

 

[tanguerra]

Meditation is really pretty simple. It is all about trying to clear the mind of random chatter so you can see beneath the surface. It can take a bit of practice.

Music can be helpful, but can also be a distraction sometimes. So, try it and see how you go? There are some youtubes and audio that people have had a lot of success with. Have a look here and maybe try some out?

Audio CDs and MP3s
Meditation techniques

 

[tanguerra]

today i gaduated after a lot of struggling! So it was a really tense month but i am FREE NOW! and i will try to meditate some tonight. Ivebeen wanting to do this for long but didnt have the right caacity to do so.

Congratulations! Enjoy and celebrate! There is plenty of time to get around to all this when you want to. It's not going anywhere.

It helps to be in the right mood before you start. It's no good trying to meditate if you are in a hurry or have a lot on your mind. It's best to be some place quiet, where you don't think anyone will interrupt you for at least a while. So, just take your time. You will know when it feels right.

 

[taehan]

I did some kind of past life regression and it was all well until i had to "cross" and see a past life thing. Couldnt see anything at all BUT at one point i was asked to imagine someone taking me to somewhere or something, and i felt someone took me happily towards a man, a young man, but i couldnt see him i just felt he was right in front of me, i felt like i looked up and saw him but i didnt, but i felt i did and i started crying of the emotion and nothing like this ever happened to me, i dont know how to feel about it. I cant even tell who this person i "saw" was either.
Qould you recommend that i follow or do the same regression "instruction"/audio again (or every time i try) or to always use a different one?

 

[Mere Dreamer]

I think the instruction audios are good because they help you train your mind to move through questions. If you find one that really suits you (especially the beginning sequence that takes you through relaxation and provides a launching point to exploration) then keep using it until you reach the point you can do it on your own.

For myself, I prefer the launch point that I self-generated in a dream once. I just re-enter that dream and step into "my space" where I relax, interact with objects that show up, ask questions and listen for answers, read books "about my lives" and so on. It leads to a much less hurried experience and I don't get interrupted in the middle of something good by the next question. You'll find that everyone tends to be different in how they go about it.

Once I asked one of my guides to show me a life, and they took a completely unfamiliar route through a field, shrinking down to the size of an ant to follow a path between the blades of grass, then I found I was walking as a past identity through a forest of bamboo. It just goes to show that whatever works works ... and if it doesn't, there's always another route to try.

Eventually you may find you get better results by listening to meditation music (tibetan bowls are good for this) and asking yourself the questions that are relevant to the hints and thoughts that come to mind.

Remember, there is audio experience, "just knowing," seeing it, being told about it, feeling the emotions, and more ... and all are valid ways to experience something ... so don't feel too bad if one sense doesn't show up. You may be more naturally skilled in "feeling emotions" and "just knowing" than in visual review. If so, find a method that caters to your strengths.

 

[tanguerra]

Couldnt see anything at all BUT at one point i was asked to imagine someone taking me to somewhere or something, and i felt someone took me happily towards a man, a young man, but i couldnt see him i just felt he was right in front of me, i felt like i looked up and saw him but i didnt, but i felt i did and i started crying of the emotion and nothing like this ever happened to me, i dont know how to feel about it. I cant even tell who this person i "saw" was either.

Sometimes you will get a visual image and other times it's just a 'feeling'. That's OK. Next time you might get a glimpse of his face or at least his eyes. It might just 'come to you' unexpectedly. It can be a bit unpredictable, but that's OK. The fact that it made you feel a strong emotion is a sure sign that you are on the right track. You will probably know that 'feeling' again though if you ever meet him. Every little bit can add pieces to the puzzle.

Even with my friend X, who I have shared at least 5 lives that I remember in any detail, sometimes his face will be blurry in a past life memory. But there is no mistaking that feeling. I saw some photos of him recently from when he was in his 20s and it made my eyes fill up with tears, because he looked so like himself in the most recent previous life. In this life we did not meet until we were 36, so his appearance had changed quite a bit from when he was just a tall, gangly 'skinny kid' to when he was a fully grown man.