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My son Thor

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missuJoe

New Member
Hi, I think I have been 'lurking' long enough lol. I checked out this forum two years ago- it looked the best from all my 'googling', about children remembering past lives. My son's comments and behaviour when he was about 18 months (he just turned 5 now) started making me wonder...I put off posting because I didn't want to make a long rambling post and didn't really know how to word it- wasn't anything definate, just lots of little things and a feeling, but I wil jump right in here (finally), a lot of these posts sound so familiar to my situation. Thorin always had an obsession with cars almost from birth. He seemed to almost wonder why I was driving, when he should have the keys, protesting long and loud, trying to get them, and, as he got older, trying to put them in the ignition and take off with the car (almost suceeded a few times too!). He had a pretty sheltered life with his sister and I in the country, and later on he was at a daycare (where he still goes) whose mandate wouldn't really include the children playing agressively ('superheroe' clothing etc. not allowed, no 'cops and robber' type stuff-, very nurturing and gentle, this is relevant to his environment). Nevertheless, he always had two sides, a very happy, loving side- we are SO bonded, he loves his sister and I to pieces...and another side that makes me wonder 'Who IS this person?' One day when he was about 18 months, he was playing with all his little cars, and made a 'car chase', where the cop car was chasing but the siren noise he made was like it is in France or something (bee-boo-bee-boo)..he made one car flip over, and the 'cop car' pulled over to it. I said 'what's going on' (I am always careful never to ask any 'leading questions', advice from this forum). With a serious look, he said 'They got me'..and 'I was driving too fast". I said " Why were you driving so fast" he said, "So they couldn't get me"
and "I like driving fast, really fast"..then he looked sad and said."But you shouldn't, ur not supposed to and you can get killed" Thor was a little slow to talk/walk, and didn't usually speak that well (now he talks like a grownup and never stops!). This post is longer than I wanted, and there are lots of 'bits and pieces' but I post them later, I find it hard to be co-hesive after 2-3 years (should have written things down). I just remember one incident vividly, (he was 2 1/2, had woken up from a 'bad dream', and asked me to tell him about the night he was born to soothe him. It was just about how he came a litle earlier than expected (I was staying at his godmother's, closer to the hospital and he came that first night (actually at daybreak) instead of a week later, his due date..and about the beautiful northern lights that night on route to the hospital, and the sun coming up as he was born etc....nothing about being in my tummy. He interrupted me, speaking quickly, almost in a funny voice "Yes, I wanted to get out, I didn't want to be in there anymore, I said Hey it's dark in here let me out let me out" and for some reason, I don't know why I said, "Oh, and where were you before that" and instantly he said "In a car". I started to say something but he got mad and said "I don't want to talk about it anymore, I'm sleepy". sorry this post is so long!:eek:
 
Welcome to the forum missuJoe,

Thanks for coming out of lurking to share Thor's story with us. :)

Does his still speak about being in a car and driving too fast? Has he ever mentioned anything else that may help you piece the story together?

I'd recommend starting a journal for him. Try to write down as much as you can about his earlier years, statements he made, behaviors etc. Since's he's only just turned five -- he may just have a few more things to say...and it would be nice to have it all written down to refer to. ;)

This is a great thread from the FAQ section about how to talk to your child about past life memories.


Ailish
 
Thanks Ailish. Yes, I did read that faq, but he did not want to talk about it. It's not that he had nothing to say I think, he would just say "I'll tell you bout it later, I don't want to talk about it right now". You're right in that, as he is five, there hasn't been much specific lately. But I do remember bits and pieces from before, just that you'd have to bear with me on how disjointed it is, but if you're interested. Some things about Thor:

As a baby, and even now, he seemed to really charm the women. I know, that sounds weird, but I don't mean to be weird.

It just seemed he had/has an almost 'James Dean' type thing going on, it is hard to explain is a post. One time, he was peddling his little coupe car on a jogging path around a lake here. When two rather attractive teenage girls walked by, he completey changed in demeaner, reminded me of a swaggering teenage boy in a race car, trying to get their attention (which he did!) and as they kept walking he turned around at looked at them for a bit, until I told him 'Let's go".

He has talked about owning lots and lots of cars ( about age 3) and described some of them. One that keeps popping up was 'red' car, which he later points out to me car ads. He says he 'liked' this one the best because it was the fastest. I said you only need one car, but he said, no, I needed different cars for different things, one is for just going to 'town' and driving around in, and the truck is for working. It must cost a lot of money to buy all those cars I said, and he just gave me a real smug, proud look and said 'Yeah', like he really thought a lot of himself, but wasn't going to tell me why.

After talking about his red car, he also said he had a 'blue house', and has never changed that story. Thorin was also diagnosed with ADHD, like a few of these children on the forum. I got chills reading some of the accounts, but they helped me through a difficult time, as Thorin went from a sweet, if not somewhat demanding baby, to a toddler who was almost 'kicked out' of daycare, where they absolutely adored hime, but where his behaviour was beginning to endanger the others, and also, later, from juniour kindergarten. An explanation of a troubled past life gave a little comfort.

From about 2 1/2 to 3 1/2, life was pretty hairy here. Anything sharp like knives etc. had to be completely locked up. I am careful with things like that with children anyway, but I mean, he was very very quick and impulsive. He would run in and grab an knife etc., and suddenly I'm trying to keep him from stabbing my daughter (now 13). He really was trying to stab her, saying "I'm gonna cut you, cut you, stab stab..l" or "You're gonna die" etc. He seemed to be enjoying it, laughing, taunting etc. And no, we don't watch stuff like that! Also, usually on long car rides, between 1 year to 2 years, he would say 'Mommy, mommy' then when I would say "Yes Thor?" "Die!" I'd say what? thinking he was telling me to 'drive' or drive faster, and he'd just keep repeating it, as he got older it expanded to "Mommy, you gonna die"...It gave me shivers because I did not know if he was psychic and saw my death, or if he wanted me to die...or now (I'm wondering) had killed me in another life.

This summer, when I tried to give him a time out for throwing hard things at his sister, he rattled off this statement rather quickly "Oh yeah well I'm going to vroom vroom (his term for driving quickly) your red Honda car, out of the driveway,...I'm gonna go get my gun and come back and shoot you then I'm gonna go downstairs and shoot your daughter too" (not 'T***A, her name, but 'your daughter', it gave me the creeps). He has also stated at different times that I had been his girlfriend, and seems mad that I don't remember that!
 
HI,

Anytime a child acts out violently- it needs to be taken seriously. Past life related or not, I highly suggest that you contact a professional to help you evaluate the appropriate actions to take with your son.

Small children say some odd and interesting things at times, but if he is actually acting them out - it is time to contact someone who can help you - help him.
 
Yes Deborah, I must apologize for causing any worry, this is also why I didn't want to post a year ago (had actually joined this forum a year ago, not 2 years) as I would begin to, but then saw how shocking it would sound. We are actually quite fortunate to be working as a team (the daycare, the school, and most importantly, 'the' pediatrician for children like Thor, in this town-which took about a year to see! I didn't consider the PL thing until after he was on medication- Dexidrene, and several 'case meetings' with our 'team' (abut 8 professional women and I!) He even has a special aid at school, and a 'plan of acation' as well as kinds of therapy. I am quite familiar with 'ADHD' now, but for me, it still doesn't explain all of his actions, or comments. I keep this to myself though, and just try to help him as best as I can. I may add my two cents worth here and there where they may fit in in other posts, because I keep remembering the odd thing now that I have started, but I'm surprised at how long my posts are once they are up! Thanks again for your concern, I have admired your wisdom and compassion on here this past year:thumbsup:
 
Thank You missujoe,

It is a relief to know you have a team helping you. Thank you for taking the time to explain and not taking offense. :).

May I suggest that you have him do drawings of what he remembers? Thereby redirecting his energy into creating and recording. Perhaps it will also help him talk about what he remembers. It will also act as a document for the future.

Thank you for sharing and taking the time to post. And please, keep up posted. :D
 
The picture drawing suggestion is a good one which I have seen children use to deal with 'now-life' traumas as well (war, accidents etc.) so was one I tried as soon as I thought he could draw. Not that I expect all young children to be 'Leonardos' but although Thor has many talents, drawing isn't one he is the best at, or actually that interested in. so that wasn't much help. Any information I get is just something he blurts out, or the little I could get from him after the nightly bad dreams he used to have. Things have started to settle down quite a bit (when I think back to how things had been) so I actually have the time to seriously record what I remember -and posting on here is helping, because I don't talk to people that much about it. I did find however, that his godmother has a very open mind about all this, including even things like 'orbs' which I read of on here. Last winter I related to her the following: I was on the computer, around 2 a.m. doing webdesign (typical for me) when Thorin ran out of his room and into my lap, just terrified...he usually wouldn't talk about his dreams but this time I was able to get him to tell me what scared him so.. "A hole...a black..black hole"
What about it I said "I fell into a black hole....I ccan't get out" Poor Torrie I said, but you are here now, safe with mommy. He was still upset, and closed his eyes tight. "I keep yellihg, help, but the people, they don't hear me. No one will help me" Then I started to comfort him, but he jerked his head toward the bay windows, the top part of the glass was not covered, but there wasn't ANY kind of reflection, or anything outside or anything I could see..His eyes kind of followed something there, he kept asking me what that 'light' was has he pointed. My hair stood up, but I asked him what shape was, how big, what colour (nothing leading, I hope) and he described a round white light (smaller than my hand). His godmother got all axcited and said that he had seen an orb. but he hasn't seen one since. I wondered if it was a hallucination from the dexedrine that he had started taking.
 
Wow Missujoe,

You have quite a little guy there! If you've been reading on the forum, you will see that a lot of kids talk to their moms about having 'chosen' them while they were still in heaven waiting to be born. I can see why Thor chose you. How lucky he is to have you 'know' him, really know him. That kind of knowing your child can only come from a close bond and a lot of love.

He knows you're there for him. I think its great that you don't ask leading questions but I have to say, as a mom of a 6 year old boy who talks of past lives, that it is difficult not to ask those questions. It is difficult not to try to get them to open up about it and just sit down and tell you the whole story all at once. It gets tougher when you are fairly certain that present life behaviour is affected by past life recall. Usually behaviour you'd like to see changed.

My son does the same thing your son does if I ask him anything, no matter how tactfully. It seems like they either don't want to talk about it because it was scary or uncomfortable or at my son's age, he has started to realize that what he says does not make sense to most folks. Now, I think that it does not even make sense to him. (like how could he have had this whole other family and can't find them now) He used to ask us where we found him or accuse us of kidnapping him from his other family.

Its a hard thing. Keep reaching out for support from us. Can I ask what part of the world you live in and if there are any like minded people around? Sounds like Thor's godmother is helpful.

Have you ever asked Thor what his name was or where he lived when he drove the red car?

Keep us posted.

Vicky
 
Thanks for making me feel so welcome Vicky :) I have been reading the posts on and off this past year, and it was partly due to many of your posts that I knew I might find some help here. Yes, his godmother is quite unique, she even suggested a regression herself, and knowing that I am not the richest person right now (single mother of two, not such good health currently) she even mentioned someone who could do it, either for a nominal, or no fee. I was just hoping that his startling behaviour would eventually even out, so that we wouldn't need to 'get to the bottom of it all'. I am still not so sure about regressions on young children. Also, though my best friend, she is quite busy with work etc. but we should be able to connect after December (her time off). I will make a post each or every other day about things he has said/done, and eventually you will get to know him better. I just hate to make such long posts- but I do enjoy reading long posts of others- you are all so fascinating!:thumbsup: And once that is done, I have only a few, short glimpses of what I think are my
own PL memories from dreams when I was about 4 to 5 years old. And my daughter (now 13) had what I have no doubt, was a strong PL memory at age 2 years- she actually was acting like this old woman as we had the spontanious conversation, and knew no-one like this (we too were isolated in the country, though I owned my own house/land at the time). Aaaackk, another long post:confused: *edit- sorry, you did ask where I live lol...in Canada, on Lake Superior (near Duluth).
 
No worries. All of my posts were long in the beginning. A lot of them still are. I, myself, would rather have a more complete picture of what is happening and don't mind reading longer posts in order to understand.

Carol Bowman doesn't recommend regressing children until they are 11 so I was worried to do it with my son. However, he told me that I was his mother in the particular life that causes him the most worry in this life. So , I went to be regressed myself, thinking I could get more details on that life. I felt safer with this and would rather do something that made me a little uncomfortable than do something that might not be a good idea for him. I ended up not being regressed because the woman wanted to give me a psychic reading instead. It did clear things up as far as knowing what happened but my son still has a lot of trouble going to sleep.

Times when my son would bring up past life recall were usually times when he was relaxed such as bath time, bed time when I would lay down with him, riding in the car.

Vicky
 
Thanks Vicky, you have reminded me again of a good reason why I myself should be regressed- as a way of helping him. I too am quite sure that we have a previous connection of some sort, and I would really like to know what happened back then. I have this gut feeling that he has remembered way more that he has ever let on, but it is not something he is proud of or comfortable with, and is still affecting him, even though he tries to push it way back..just some weird feelings, like last year, after a particularly trying day of him acting out, being agressive, I held him for a big, long hug then said Thor, ok, WHAT is going on?

I know you are just my sweet, loving little boy, you are such a GOOD boy and I know you love mommy (as he often tells me very emphatically, like I don't know, or he really wants me to know) so why are you acting like this? "No, I don't want to tell you...let go you stupid woman" then he gets all agressive and acts tough. So I said, Thorin, I don't care what you've done? ok? ( and here, I finally did say something leading, just because of my instincts) whoever you were or whatever you did, I don't care, I love you" and instead of looking at me like I was crazy, it was so frightful almost, the way he stopped, looked deep into my eyes for a few seconds, and then took a deep breathe and a long shakey sigh of relief and collapsed into my arms sobbing.

After that he went off to sleep, without any nightmares looking so happy and peaceful! I really try not to give in to fantasizing or letting my mind wander into all kinds of silly imaginings, I try to stay grounded and focused to helping him in the here and now. I don't want to project a personality on him, but I have to say, the few times I have allowed this, based on his body language and the things he has said these past few years, what has come to me in a flash was that he was some sort of young gang member who enjoyed that life, but died violently and now has regrets (really sounds crazy, but that has always been my impression, it just stays with me). Vicky, you asked where he had lived etc. but he never said specifically. But..my daughter has one of those giant 'board books' (hard cardboard) of world maps, and all around the edges are the flags of the world.

One day when he was about two, he discovered it, got all excited, and we spent some time with the maps and the flags. The next day he was able to point to and name about 8 of the flags! (no joking)So we did some more, and he remembered about 12 the next day. I mentioned this to his doctor, because they seemed to be concentrating at his 'negative' aspects, even wanting to test him for a learning disability (which they were sruprised to find he doesn't have) but he credited this, and Thor's heightened observation skills and above average memory to ADHD traits. Even after not looking at it for months on end (like now) he is able to pick it up and name the flags, especially China which he seems to love, commenting " I want to go back there again" I laughed "Oh, you were there before?" He just looked at me like I was stupid.

Because he has ADHD and his mind never seems to quit (he is always trying to outsmart me, is quite devioius) I look for ways to keep his mind busy in positive ways bacause I get the feeling if left to his own devices, he could repeat a possible pattern of crime etc. I was overjoyed to find that he is actually interested in chess (not something I am forcing on him) and lucky to find a computer program for kids (Lego Chess- I would recommend it) that he
goes to on his own and spends a good hour learning/playing!
Oh- off on a tangeant again! sorry..my New Year's resolution is to have a regression by a reputable person!:laugh:
 
Dear MissuJoe,
That's quite a little man you have there. Under the circumstances I think that you are doing the right things. However it would be unusual I think for any of the helping professionals through the school to be very receptive to past life reasons for current behaviors of children. As you know, your son will probably be categorized as a child with ADD or ADHD and "processed" accordingly through the school system. Because most of our mainstream society doesn't accept reincarnation as a reality it is unlikely that you will find any reputable help for your son through normal local resources.

Well, What to do? I don't know but I think that I would proceed on the assumption that your son really is being influenced by one or more past lives. Knowing that, you will have to work a little harder to keep him safe (since he really is a child) and to keep yourself and others around him safe until the influence of the past life lessens as he grows up. Perhaps not dwelling on his past life with him and directing his attention to other more creative caring things in his current life rather than allow his negative destructive thoughts to direct his current behaviors would be appropriate. I know it might be interesting to find out if he had a real past life that is influencing him but I don't think that that information would really help him at his young age. Perhaps when he is older and can process that information and perhaps emotionally experience the trauma of that past life it would help, but he is too young for that information now. I think that I would speak to him more in adult terms rather than child terms. Also, I think that I would expect more adult behaviors from him rather that to tolerate childish immature behaviors. (He is the "man" of the family, right?) That is, if he still is influenced by a past life adolescent/adult life, then maybe the best way to relate to him is on an adult level rather on his chronological age level. Teach him to accept responsibility as one would expect from an adult, responsibility for his own actions not only to honor his own person but also the person of others.

Are there any strong male role models that you can hook him up with? I think that all boys need a strong man in their life. In fact, in my experience in all cases of disruptive behaviors in young or adolescent boys that I have seen, I have found an absence of the father figure or if there is a father he is physically or emotionally withdrawn from the son. I think of all the things that you could do, providing a strong adult male in his life right now might do the most good. - Your friend, Wicker :)
 
I still cannot believe all the help here Wicker- and thanks for the great advice. I have kept this stuff to myself for so long it seems strange now actually talking about it and getting feedback, I wish I had posted each time he said or did something, it is harder now. I know the 'mental help community' would not consider this as you said, I have tested them by dropping a few comments here and there in the beginning as to 'what Thor is up to lately', like at his monthly doctor's appt. or picking him up at daycare when they would ask if something in particular was bothering Thor at home, if he had had a 'bad day' at the daycare. Like once, the doctor asked for anything unusual, wondering if the new medication would cause hallucinations etc. And I mentioned, very casual-like, letting them draw their own conclusions, about the 'car accident/tummy' thing..and at the daycare too, but there was no response. I always try to make sure that I am not just using this PL idea as an easy answer so I don't have to deal with ADHD and have him on drugs, it is a lot of work! Also I really get tired some times of how CAS(Child services) are always trying to 'help' me- in my life as Thor was identified as a 'child at risk?' from his actions. I am accomodating but find their constant visits and suggestions invasive and annoying, they really don't understand him or what a loving calm environment I give him. It's funny that you mention a male role model, I had been considering this for some time, but wanted to wait until he was old /verbal enought to trust him with a stranger- no matter how well they are screened. I had suggested this to CAS some time ago (as they seem so eager to help), as I don't mean to be sexist, but I notice that the odd time a male would address him, he would immediately 'listen up' and behave! Boys and dogs eh? So that is in the works, someone to do the energetic 'boy things' with, I am not the tom boy I used to be, and don't have access to any of the man toys like a boat and motor, a camp, etc. His biological father has spent a total of maybe 1 year of his five years in his life, and only took him for walks to the candy store. He had no sense of what running a proper home is like (supper hours, proper nutrition etc., discipline) and was more of a playmate and bad influence. More about him later, as I KNOW they have a PL connection (Thor says that when he was big before, they used to play together!) Currently he is jail again and we have pretty much given up on him, I don't allow him to disrupt my son.
 
missuJoe, as for a male role model for Thor, when he's a few years older, you might consider Big Brothers. I was a volunteer Big Brother for 20 years, and even was on the board of directors locally. The men who volunteer are thoroughly screened, and receive training, and are assigned a case worker who monitors the match. There are also many Big Sister programs that work similarly for single parent girls.

It's amazing how much difference once-a-week contact with a non-judgmental male can make in a boys life. If I recall, the youngest Big Brother's will accept boys is 8, although that might be different with each agency. there is no cost at all, and each volunteer make a commitment for one years, although many matches last much longer.

John
 
This is such a neat forum, EVERYONE is on here:) I have never met anyone who was a big brother before but I am familiar with the program and know that, yes, he has to wait until he is a little older, also there is a very long waiting list in this town. It must feel good to know how many lives you've helped in those twenty years! I am just hoping that the person they have in mind (a gentleman exprssing an interest in volunteering in this capacity, and well known and screened by the CAS agency) is a good match. Maybe he will be good at chess too (Thor is just learning chess).
 
I was a Big Sister for many years. My 'little sister' now has two children of her own and is married. I am a photographer and photographed her wedding. John is right. The youngest age is still 8 but here in California they sometimes take younger kids and will pair two or three kids up with one role model.

Missujoe, I think you are a great mom. Trust your instincts. As Thor's mom, you know him better than anyone and you are listening. The only thing I have to add is that you might also consider any present life influence Thor's dad may have had on him also. It sounds like they are definitely connected past life wise but it could also be easy to underestimate his father's influence on him in this life.

I also used to work for Child Welfare. It is unlikely that many social workers will listen to a past life explanation for Thor's behaviour and it might strengthen their case to encourage the meds. I got lucky with our school counselor and did what you did. When she asked me what my son had been talking about at home, I gave her an earful but did not tell her that I believed him. She turned out to be a believer in reincarnation and has been very helpful.

Hang in there. I can't imagine being a single parent in your situation. Your kids are miracles though and given to you and chosen by them for very specific reasons. You are listening and you love them and no doubt they both know this. Nothing with that much postive energy attached to it could ever fail.

Vicky
 
For once I don't have much to say, I'm a little overwhelmed by the warmth and concern..thanks vicky, you seem to understand:thumbsup:
 
Hi missujoe,

I would say there is no question that your son is recalling a past life. I would support what the others have said in terms of managing his agressive behaviour - past life or no past life it's just not on. As a single mother of a girl and a boy myself (now almost grown), I am here to tell you, now is the time to work this out while you are still bigger than him and you can pick him up and put him in his room when he misbehaves! Don't leave the big showdown until he is 18. Sort it out now while it is still relatively easy.

I would under no circumstances start talking to anyone in any sort of official capacity, much less CAS, about past lives. This is likely to make things much more complicated than necessary. It is unlikely to be helpful. Although it is all very fascinating, I would not be making too big a deal about the past life thing with the kid either. I would be writing it down in a journal for him to show him when he is older.

I am very unhappy with this whole trend of diagnosing what used to be called naugntiness (back in my day :) ) as ADHD by the way and think medication is not first the solution we should reach for when dealing with boistrous children. How about just keeping it simple and down to earth? Small children usually misbehave when they are bored or have excess energy with no outlet. When my little children would get a bit too boistrous I would take them out to run around in the park with the dog and a ball for an hour or so to tire them out. If there is an oval, or even a length of street anywhere near where you live and he is getting fractious, try taking him out and saying "Show me how fast you can run from here to there/round the block" then time him with your wrist watch and give him lots of applause and praise and get him to do it again, see if he can do it even faster. He will be exhausted in no time. Works every time.

Small children can have a lot of trouble mastering impulse control and will, indeed, attack their sisters and anyone else who gets in their way if they get cross enough. A boy whose father is in prison may have many reasons to be upset from time to time regardless of his past life exploits. Of course, attacking one's sister with a knife is simply not permitted and needs to be strongly reprimanded. Past life or otherwise there is no excuse for violence, however, there is not necessarily anything supernatural about it.

You say you brought him up from his youngest years in a very gentle environment - no violent TV shows and so on - which is a good thing. However, one thought that occurs to me is that 'boys will be boys' (I don't care if that is sexist, it's true) and if you deny him any outlet for his natural male fiery and (let's be honest) aggressive energy, it is still going to come out into the world somehow. I know it is difficult, but it is also important not to be too overprotective. You have to let boys run around, fall over, jump off the fence, get bloody knees, yell, shout and so on.

Perhaps, as he grows older, he needs some energetic pursuits which he can do to channel this energy in a more positive outlet? Sport? Karate? Once he starts going to school he will have other boys to play a bit of rough and tumble with and that will also be a good thing. If you have any say in it a male teacher would be an excellent thing for him. If you can overcome your fears and find a good positive male role model to do 'boy stuff' with I think that is also an excellent suggestion.

Good luck with it all I am sure it will all work out.
 
missuJoe said:
This is such a neat forum, EVERYONE is on here:) I have never met anyone who was a big brother before but I am familiar with the program and know that, yes, he has to wait until he is a little older, also there is a very long waiting list in this town. It must feel good to know how many lives you've helped in those twenty years! I am just hoping that the person they have in mind (a gentleman exprssing an interest in volunteering in this capacity, and well known and screened by the CAS agency) is a good match. Maybe he will be good at chess too (Thor is just learning chess).
Click to expand...

I can assure you that the screening process for matching Bigs and Littles is excellent, and most of the matches work very well. If you have any questions about Big Brothers, feel free to send me a PM. And yes, it's very rewarding knowing you had a positive effect on a child. But I always felt that I got so much more out of the relationship than I put into it.

John
 
I agree with what you're saying tanguerra. I too did not want to just immediately 'drug' my child, it still bothers me that he has to be on this stuff. I was really torn, even considered home schooling him because that's what it came down to. Too many parents were complaining at school, I was being called to come and get him from school every other day (in junior kindergarten). It wasn't 'boys will be boys' stuff, or him just getting angry or frustrated either, more that he was just very impulsive, inappropriate, and even more worrisome, he just didn't 'get it' (he couldn't read expressions or emotions very well, like if someone is happy or angry or sad)..like when he shoved a younger child down the daycare steps at age 3...and then laughed when she cried at the bottom, or I had to go get him at school because he was on top of another child on the ground, sort of hitting him. I asked him about it and he said he was playing with him. I had three older brothers growing up, and was quite a wild tom boy myself. We were allowed to be quite boisterous (but not disrespectful) and we hit the ground running every day, climbing trees, just running all over the neighbourhood, seldom in the house. And we playfought, the whole bit, but I don't remember anything like what my son does. I was just concerned for him. We are just using the meds to have him calm enough that we could actually work on these things. I remember walking all over town with him on more than one occasion, play in the park, the whole thing, and thinking, boy, is he going to be one calm kid when we get back, might even take a nap..but the minutue we got in the door he ran up to his sister and tried to push her down the stairs..that is how he 'played'. I give him time outs, but where most kids are told 'go to your room' and they do etc.,
I must be prepared to a half-hour-hour battle, as he comes running out several times, or goes ballistic in the room, but I do stick with it to the end. It's just exhausting when this happens several times a day, and I am currently undergoing treatment for my bladder (there is no protective covering on it so it is agony :D ). I was trying to find the one answer to his problem, but I think there is more than one thing going on. I'm hoping he is finally stableized enough now to do organized sports with him (like skating lessons, swimming etc.) I had him in gymnastics before but was asked to leave because he was so disruptive. Believe me I have been in tears more than once! Anyway, for everything I have said about him, there is the absolute flip side of him as well (loving, charming, insightful, smart, loves to hug and cuddle) and I tell him I love him at least a dozen times a day.
 
MissuJoe,

The more I hear you describe your son's behaviors the more I think that there is something more than just the run-of-the-mill ADHD. Have you had him evaluated for Autism? There is a spectrum of behaviors that fall into the autism range and eventhough he is verbal (right?) he may still be suffering from a form of autism. I am aware of many kids diagnosed as autistic who have greatly improved with focused biomedical and nutritional treatment including chelation therapy, hyperbaric oxygen treatments, treatments to cure intestinal disbiosis, which all or most of these kids have, and nutritional therapies including gluten and lactose free diets.

Today these newer approaches to treating autism can cure it in many cases. More and more evidence is being uncovered that suggests that many autistic kids actually have been exposed to many toxic substances, including mercury, arsenic, lead and other heavy metals. There are biomedical tests available to determine if these substances along with many many other chemicals are present in autistic children. Most or all of them do have toxic conditions which contribute to their behavior problem. - Your friend, Wicker :)
 
Just a couple more things, MissuJoe,

Statistically, 1 out of 166 children born today are autistic. The preponderance of them are boys. Fortunately if these children are diagnosed early and treated appropriately (with something more than just behavior modification therapy) the chance of cure is much greater. - Your friend, Wicker :thumbsup:
 
Hi Wicker,

I also think of Aspbergers Syndrome (may be spelled wrong) when I read missujoe's posts.

Missujoe, it might be worth looking into. There are some alternative treatments and often these kids are either never diagnosed or can be diagnosed at Thor's age.
 
When I first got to see his doctor (who is supposed to be the best pediatrician here for children with those types of problems).I did mention all these things, believe it or not. My sister has an autistic boy. When she and her husband decided it was time to have children, they had done a lot of preparation- she was smoke free for at least two years (I was so proud of her, thought she would never quit), they had bought a 'fixer upper' and did a great job on it, she read all the health/vitamin books (she knew almost as much as me :laugh: )...so they racked their brains (and were racked with guilt) when it became more and more clear he had this, at about four years of age. she will always wonder if the paint etc. they were stripping of the old building, and other toxins, could have caused this. My heart just goes out to her, but theyu are doing an awesome job with him. I too considered Asperger's syndrome etc., and food allergies and mentioned this to the doctor. He had every test (even an MRI, brain scans etc.) to make sure there was no physical problem, or pathological thing(sorry if I don't term it right but u would understand Wicker, you have a lot of knowledge of this:thumbsup: ) We moved to an old, isolated farmhouse when I was pregnant with him, but then tried for two years to move from there, because of various unhealthy problems (e-coli in the well water, serious, black black mold spreading throughout the house, fumes from the big heating oil tank that was kept in the basement...and various other strange things. We finally escaped the slum landlord from hell, but I always wondered...
The doctor doesn't agree though so I will have to take his word for now, unless I move to a bigger centre and get a second opinion.
 
Sorry Vicky, I think I was typing while you were posting! seems like we're kind of on the same page here, I just wish I was better at effecting all of this. Last spring, because of an appointment foul-up around the time he was supposed to get his prescription refilled (which, only the doctor can do at the hospital) Thor was off meds for about six weeks while we waited for his re-booked appt. The secretary (his 'frontline') ignored my pleas for some help in between. To make it short, life was hell, and I decided we didn't want to be a hostage of the drug industry, and I would find alternatives. I even bought the bottle of special oil blend (the clerk swore was helping lots of her clients with ADHD children) but it just gave him intestinal problems, and didn't help him, plus I just cannot afford things like that and they are not covered. Interestingly enough, my brother's boy (now 22 and doing fine) was worse than Thor, I thought, but they spared no expense with the homeopaths and nutritional supports/vitamins (they are quite rich) and also would never hear anegative word about him- he had a nanny who had to put up with him. I wish I had a nanny, instead of CAS poking in, but I know one day he will be a fine young man like my nephew, we just have different paths.
 
Hmmmm. Yes, missyouJoe. I certainly sounds like a bit more than run of the mill naughtiness, boyish high spirits or even ADHD. There may well be some past-life trauma operating on top of everything else which is compounding some other issues. Obviously a complete ban on sugar, junk food, or any other kind of stimulants (coca cola, etc) is called for, but I am sure you are already doing all that. You sound pretty switched on.

I too thought excactly as Wicker and Vicky said, when you added this extra information, autism or aspergers. You say he is very bright, and plays chess and so on which would tend to support this. These bursts of rage and a lack of emotional response to others are classic signs of autism.

It sounds as though you are doing everything possible and I commend you for your efforts, your love and your courage. I am sure one day he will indeed be a fine young man, once you get to the bottom of this. It must be very tiring and difficult for you. My heart goes out to you. Make sure you take very good care of your own health first and foremost.

Maybe someone else out there can offer you some further tips (off line - no advertising is permitted) on really good professional help in your area that you have not tried yet?

Good luck and stay strong.
 
Sorry for my late reply tanguerra. I really appreciate the feedback. It's funny I think, how, though we're all miles apart and never met, and it is a hard thing for me to explain precisely, a lot on here got the feeling of 'Asperger's', or mild autism, a suspicion I had when he was only 18 months. I have started browsing a few Autism spectrum websites (thanks Wicker), some things seem familiar, some certainly don't. I will try to share any little pieces I remeber that actually have to do with PL memories regarding him (after all, I know this is a PL site, not the parent's help site- though there is a lot of that here too, in this great community:thumbsup: ) and am going to post soon about my other child (13 yr. old daughter). I had an experience with her when she was 2, that, when I remember, makes it hard for me to be a skeptic. I have fallen in and out of believing my whole life,but this was hard to ignore. And don't worry, it is just a simple PL story, nothing too complicated about her (just the teenage girl stuff that...aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh...but I deal with that myself :laugh: ).
 
That's great Missujoe. I am glad you find it helpful. Sometimes it is enough to know that you are not alone.

Best of luck and I look forward to hearing all your stories. :)
 
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