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My story

Hippy16

Hippy16

Senior Registered
Hello all, I was an active member on this forum many years ago when I first started regressing, and found it to be very helpful. In the years since I have gone through periods of not regressing, or even thinking about my past lives for many many months upto a year or more at a time, and I must say it has been somewhat nice. Nice to be able to just look ahead, and not be looking back all the time. I would say a few months ago I started having what I call "nostalgic pull". Normally when this happens I will regress, find something out, and it will go away. Usually it's just a nostalgic feeling from the past coming up, lasting for a few days, usually until regression. However this one did not go away, and I could'nt regress. I started feeling very sad, and depressed and homesick. The last time the feeling was this strong was right after highschool (where i completly lost myself in another time, and really hated the current time I live in). So anyways last night I finnally was able to regress, and found out some interesting things. First I will give a brief history of the two lives I have discovered over the 9 years I have been regressing.

1909-Born a girl in Rural Ohio to a single mother
1927- Left home by train for a city in Ohio to live with an aunt.
1929- Met two men, Richard and Charles. Married Charles
1930- my only daughter was born.
1935- had numerous affairs with Richard and other men for my entire marriage.
1930's- heavy abuse of my daughter, pills, and alchohol during the 30's (many of these realizations took time to see, for a long while I saw myself as a victim, until I saw my own faults.)
1940's- more substance abuse, several hospitalizations.
1946- died in a hospital with my mother by my side.

1947-born a girl to wealthy parents in Michigan
1950's.- father was nice, mother was cold and distant, also abusive(may have had a mental problem, like what we would call bipolar today)
1958- I have one memory of sexual misconduct by my father while he was drunk.
1962-rember having a loaded gun under my bed (this also took me atleast a year to realize what I had under my bed)
1964-got pregnant*
1966- graduated highschool, left for California with a boyfriend.
1968- Lived in Salinas, small beach towns, San Fransisco, before settling in Los Angeles by 1970.
1970's- pretty much a blur, heavy drug use, sex for drugs, alot of saddness, falling for the wrong men, men using me (all themes from both my past lives, and my current)
1976- rock bottom, started getting my life in order, worked in a night club as a waitress
1975-78- had my son
1980- Married my husband, settled in Moreno Valley California.
1981- Had another son Bryan, at USC hospital.
1983- worked at a garden shop in Moreno Valley
sept 9th 1986- I killed myself.**
 
ok now for what I found out last night, one was what ever happened to the baby i had in 1964. I had many regressions of myself pregnant, scenes with my boyfriend telling him i was, telling my parents, being sad, but never any scenes with the baby. I assumed I miscarried, or had an abortion, and just wasnt ready to see that. However last night I went back to christmas 1963 and I was pregnant, however after the holidays I had to go to a home. I remember signing papers and being very sad, I remembered being very alone in the room with atleast 6 other beds, and then having my baby and screaming for him as the nurse took him away. (I was phsyically crying during the regression, and just wanted him back), I also saw myself using pills after the ordeal to cope.


the next thing I saw was a happy memory, however it went wrong. I saw myself driving my car up a cliff, overlooking the ocean. I remember it was kind of a gray day (which was nice for california) and is stood by my car for several minutes just looking at the ocean, and then I jumped. It happened so fast, and I woke up from the shock and was just crying. I laid in my bed for 15 minutes just crying, and just saying how I left them, I left my kids....after I calmed down I felt better...I felt somehow at peace. Today I feel so much better, like...there is this thing that is done. I wrote out what happened, and just writing out I killed myself, felt so good to finnally accept it.


I guess my question is, I know how I died, and the state, and the date, I feel I may have enough information to validate these memories....however on the other hand I don't want to. I don't know, I mean I just don't know.
 
Hi Hippy16,


and wecome back to the forum.


Thanks for sharing - you describe remembering a LOT! How did you remember all these details? Did you have several regressions done by professionals, through self-regression, or both? (just curious!) :)

Hippy16 said:
I guess my question is, I know how I died, and the state, and the date, I feel I may have enough information to validate these memories....however on the other hand I don't want to. I don't know, I mean I just don't know.
Click to expand...
If you feel doing more research to validate/prove what you remember would help you, then by all means see what you can learn. But really, learning from your mistakes and moving on to live your life as a even better person is what's most important. :thumbsup:
 
Hi Hippy16, welcome back to the forum.


Thanks for sharing your memories, I agree, there is so much detail there. I also agree with Lady2, despite there being plenty of information to research, and the importance of validation - that is all secondary to taking what you can from those memories and moving on.


I would suggest that you give yourself a bit of time to process all of this information. You say you only found out some of this last night, so it's still early days yet. I think you'll know if or when the time is right to try and validate those memories. In the meantime, we are always here to try and help and support you, so if you need any help, just ask.


Chris :)
 
Hi Hippy16 and welcome back,


I just want to say that I know exactly what you're going through. I've been there myself. All I can say is take your time and move at pace that is comfortable for you. It may take some time to process this and come to terms with it.
 
Thanks for the responses, yes I use a regression recording, one of which I got from a member of this forum years ago. Yes I have regressed probably a hundred times in the years I have been regressing. However, have had many periods of no regressions, "flashbacks", or other past life feelings. The urge to regress, as well as nostalgia of the past seems to come up at random times.


But yes I have been processing my new information the past few days, and so much is making sense. Just little things throughout my life all adding up. But for now I will just digest the information and move forward, I don't think I will be regressing again for a while.


As far as validating my information, I suppose it just scares me to disprove it, but even more to prove it, if that makes sense. I do however still have this feeling inside wanting to know if my family is ok. I also had this sadness after the regression, kind of like, realizing I would still be alive (as my former self) if I had never jumped...That is a weird feeling. I would be still be living out that life. I just don't understand why i was so sad, but I know at the time I was happy to end it. Which is weird, because of how I view suicide this time around. The death has never bothered me, it was the days/months before that bother me. Like I always feel sad for suicides, but not because they are dead, because of how they really died long before they took their life...I have always viewed it in that way, so I suppose it makes sense if I once killed myself (which is still hard to admit, even as I type this),


Thanks again for the advice.
 
I suppose I should update everyone. I have been having these little flashes of the cliff every now and then, just a sort of quick shot of an image. I also must say I feel somewhat at peace, but also a little sad...depressed still. Sometimes when my life slows down and I'm sitting in traffic or something I will catch myself off in deep thought, just kind of sad, then I snap out of it and continue. I feel this death scene is still bothering me, well I know its bothering me, but I hope it will all be for the best. Honestly I think it is just me trying to accept the fact of it all, you know? Like I am trying to accept what I did.


thanks again for the comments, and the warm welcome back.
 
That is a pretty vivid account of your two most recent past lives, thanks so much for sharing. I am curious if anyone has any recommendations for doing self regression? I did two regressions with a professional and was well worth it, I just did not get into that much detail. I feel my guide only showed me what was relevant with the time we had (3 hours each session).


The one thing I did remember from my regressions was to let those emotions go and move on. I still feel anger at being killed in my life as a Crow Indian, but I understand why I was. So thats easier said than done :D .
 
I use a recording of a basic regression, although at this point I could probably self regress, I think the use of the recording puts me in the mind set that I will regress and can feel relaxed enough to regress.


Also does anyone have any tips for looking up suicide cases, or would most deaths that may have been suicide not have been recorded as such? However my death was pretty tragic, and would imagine there would have been some news on the suicide.
 
Hi Hippy


Long time no see. Well done.


If you're having waking 'flashbacks' about this stuff as well as thinking about it a lot in your odd moments, your 'subconscious' is trying to tell you something. Always follow your intuition. These things are never 'random' but always have a meaning to your real (current) life too.


I think you should go and find the baby (who will be in his forties now).


I think it's time. Maybe he needs some help (are you sure it was a boy)? Maybe he's wondering about his mother and who she was? Maybe he has children of his own now?


Introduce yourself as a distant cousin/nephew of the mother or some other suitable cover story - don't freak him out (not all at once anyway)!


Good luck.


Blessings.


T.
 
Thanks for the help! Could it be that there is a reason I found all this out at once. I mean I found out that I committed suicide and that I gave a baby up for adoption in the 60's...almost like clues. I mean if I found out who I was, the big give away would be the baby I gave up for adoption. I mean I don't think I ever found the baby later in life, or if I even told anyone about it. I mean if i tracked down my husband and mentioned that he might not even have known...or if he did maybe that would scare him off...idk. I kind of feel that maybe there was a reason I found out those two events (that both I had never seen before) I don't know. I guess the next step would be trying to find an obituary, which I think I know my first name, but I don't know anything else. I guess I will begin to search for some evidence.


Thanks for all the help guys!
 
Hippy, I have enjoyed reading your past life memories ever since I joined this forum. Your past lives were ones I followed very closely every time I was on this forum. Both of your lives evoked a lot of emotion in me and made me feel as though I might have had similar experiences in some of my past lives or even I might have crossed paths with you back then at some point or another. I wondered was there ever a theme or a lesson to be learned from your two past lives? You say in your past life that you left home in rural Ohio for another city an Ohio? Have you ever been to Ohio and its various cities in your current life..have you felt any kind of connection to the cities in Ohio. I am living in Ohio right now - born and raised and have been to the bigger as well as the smaller cities. If you need any help with information on the the various cities in Ohio I'll be more than willing to help. Also, I was wondering if either of those men Charles and Richard were a soulmate, and if you ever came across them in other lives including your current.
 
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