alaskanlaughter said:
Thanks for sharing all of that. I could just picture it right along with you.
How did you figure out it was the late 1800s and 1899 to be exact? Was this the same boy that you associate with the newsies? Do you think any of these people are with you in this life? Your mother or the other boy from the restaurant?
Hey Alaska. I had always just known that it was around that time. It's just something I knew. I didn't actually know that it was 1899 exactly, but when the date was mentioned, I felt that kind of resonance you get when your spirit/soul knows that something is true.
The same boy...I don't know...I just know that that boy was very familiar to me, and that I wasn't going to be a newsie for very long, and that I didn't really like to have friends back then. Felt like they held me back when I was trying to run away. So if anyone got too attached to me, I'd just leave in the middle of the night without telling anybody, when everyone was asleep. Even if someone saw me leaving. I think my nickname must've been Wanderer or something like that.
Do I know any of those people in this life? Oh yeah, definately. I made sure I had the same mum again for this life. I remember being up in the clouds and everything, waiting for the right moment, and I didn't even go into what I had thought of as Heaven back then, waiting outside the gates, out of sight, 'cause I thought that if I went in, I wouldn't be able to get out. So I just waited, on my own, looking down, trying to see when she had come back.
I remember this very well. I wrote it down for my mum for one Mother's day when I was little, titled "Why I chose you".
I dived down through the clouds when I felt that little timer in my heart click into place, and I flew down, soared down to find her, my mother.
Then I saw a family. A young mother in the height of her mothering years (like- I have kids and can have more), with her husband walking to her right, and her daughter- the oldest- walking to her right, and two little boys in front of them, who they were keeping a very close eye on because it was dark. One is older than the other, slightly taller than the little guy and had dark hair.
The little guy had bright red hair and was very giddy, like he was on a sugar rush or something, but all I saw was my mother. She was kind of differnt. Really at peace and truly happy, getting on with her life with the man she loved. In my past life, I hadn't had a dad, so I was happy for her, but didn't really know the situation personally.
'Momma' I tried to get her attention, but she didn't hear me, walking on, and I realized they going out to a restuaunt for dinner, and I was slightly miffed that she 'ignored' me, so I jumped in front of her and said the same thing.
'Momma' she walked into me, and I didn't come out the other side, like ghosts do. I was born 9 months later.
My friend Noah, I think, was my friend back then, probably my only friend, but then again, he could be my brother, though I died before he did.
You know what? I just thought...I think that resturaunt that they went to was- might've been- the same one where I died.
Sorry if I just gave you more than you bargained for, but information just comes out of me as I write.
W.A. Heart. The only one I really 'remembered' per se, was the memory where my mother died. that was emotional, but it was all dulled, like I knew I wasn't re-living it. Just a memory I had forgotten. I remember the fear ('Momma, what's happening?' 'Shhhh...be quiet...') -as we hid behind the door as the men were coming. The fear when she hid me under that bench. ('Hide!' she whispered looked around desperately. 'Under there!' she took my shoulder and pointed to the bench.) I didn't want to leave her, so she took me and pushed me under it, making sure I scrunched up as small as I could, even though that wasn't really a problem because of my size. The men were at the door. ('Momma!' I whispered, terrified, crying.) Momma looked at me. ('I love you.' I could see the heartbreak in her eyes as the men started breaking down the door. 'Momma!') I just saw the look in her eyes before she jumped up just as the door broke down.
After everything happened, tied to that chair, just before they killed her, she looked at me and mouthed the words: 'I love you.' then she died.
After I came back to this world after remembering that, I felt so sad, and I understood why I had been so protective of my momma in this life. My hand that had been resting on the rocking chair next to me before- I realized, was now gripping it, so I loosened the hold.
When I was little, 'I love you' was the first thing I learned how to write, and I was obsessed with telling my mother I loved her, because I didn't get a chance to before. I'd find finger paints and write it on big sheets of paper, and when she was on the porch having a tea party I would hold it up to the window and tap the glass so that she would look over and see it, my little fingers still crusted with dried watercolors, because it was- and is- the most important thing to me to let my mother know I loved her. Then I'd see her smile.
Have you tried BING.COM to search for records? The new search engine is pretty good.
Sorry.