Past Life with my Husband

[IsabellaLuna]

Hi Everyone,
I am new to posting on the board, though I have browsed it periodically over the years.

I have a few past life memories and want to share one in particular in this thread. When I first started dating my husband, we were hanging out and I had a spontaneous memory of he and I living in ancient Greece or Rome. I was a young boy about 8 or 9 years old. I remember running around the city in my bare freet wearing only a simple linen shift. I enjoyed the free feeling of my body movement and my feet on the hot dusty ground. My husband was my mentor and friend in that life, an older man in his 30's or 40's. He loved me very much and I loved him. But one day he started making sexual advances toward me, and I resisted him. He tried to convince me that it was o.k., that he loved me very much and it would be wonderful. But I didn't want to do that with him. I knew that he loved me but didn't want him to love me like that. He got indignant, and self-righteous. I felt upset because he was acting that way, and didn't understand my feelings. He made me feel guilty and like I was doing something wrong. Every time I was around him he acted wounded and self-righteous, and on an energy level I felt like he was grabbing at my energy. This frustrated and angered me. I got disgusted with him and would avoid him.

When I saw this memory, I could see the mentor's face superimposed on my husband's face. I told my husband about the memory and he said that he remembered. I didn't know what to do with this information, and partially doubted it was real. But over the years, we had difficulty in our relationship. I frequently felt like he was "grabbing" at me, even on a subtle level and it irritated me. I found it perplexing because outwardly it didn't seem like he was doing anything, but after a while I remembered that memory. A couple of years later the memory came up strongly again in light of our problems, and I brought it up to him. He was frustrated, said that he can't change who he was in that life, and he was sorry he upset me then. He said he didn't want me to think of him as a pedophile.
He also said that in that era, it was common for older men to sleep with younger boys. I knew it was true but when he said this, I got upset, like he was trying to excuse his behavior and my past life self's feelings were invalidated. Also, my husband said that at least he is approaching me in this life more appropriately as we are both adults and heterosexual (I have nothing against being gay, this is about that past life boy who didn't want a gay relationship and was too young). This is true too, but I still felt upset. I also still partially doubted it was real.

This year I experienced some resolution for that life. We had an intense year of change regarding our power dynamic. I learned that my past life self was still very angry with his mentor, and did'nt want me to have an intimate relationship with him. He felt that the mentor was still trying to be with him, through me. He wanted to punish the mentor and say no to him forever. This helped to clarify things for me.

 

[IsabellaLuna]

I recently noticed that when I think back on that memory, it no longer holds a strong emotional charge. I feel neutral about it, like it is just a memory. However, I still feel the dynamic is going on in my current life with my husband. I still feel like he grabs at my energy and tries to "gobble" me up. A part of me just wants to leave, but I got an intuitive sense that I need to stay and learn this/these lesson (s). It seems related to another past life memory I have of being in a concentration camp where I died. It seems the lesson is about learning how to maintain my boundaries and sense of self, no matter what the other person is doing, is saying about me, or trying to make me feel about myself. for example, in the greece/rome past life, my self struggled with feeling guilty for saying no, and felt like he had to be responsible for the mentor's feelings and desires. In the concentration camp life, my self lost all hope and sense of personal truth. She was annhilated inside and out. My sense is that I need to learn how to have this boundary no matter what the situation, and to do this using other tools aside from avoiding, because one can't always avoid a person or situation. In the greece/rome past life, my child self avoided his mentor, and maybe that was the best solution at the time. But that solution became a tendency and it is not the best solution all the time. In the concentration camp there was no escape, my self absorbed the negative nazi energy and agenda and she lost hope or a sense that life can be anything else but this experience in the camp. That is a part of the reason why she did not make it.


I still doubt a little, and wonder if I really have to learn this lesson, in this way. However, maybe if I do learn it, our pattern will be resolved and we'll either naturally part, or we will be able to enjoy our relationship without it being run by this pattern.

 

[ChrisR]

Hi IsabellaLuna, welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing your story, I hope you enjoy the discussions here

 

[IsabellaLuna]

Thank you for the welcome Chris, I appreciate it. A while ago I read your story about Lisbet and found it very interesting and beautiful.


I realize I did not say in my post that I would like feedback about it. I ask everyone who reads this thread - do these memories sound like past life memories? From what I have read on the board, it sounds like they fall into that realm, because they are so vivid and emotionally charged, and I have experienced a progression of healing in this life as I process those memories (most specifically the concentration camp memories).

 

[ChrisR]

Sorry Isabella, yes it does sound very much like you are remembering a past life with your husband, and i'm impressed with the way that you can see how that life applies to the relationship that you have with your husband today, and how you are learning from it. Do you know if your husband was around you in any form during the concentration camp life? It sounds like you may have quite a history together.


Thanks for your interest in my website btw

 

[GoldFish65]

Hello IsabellaLuna, welcome to the forum!! I can certainly relate to your situation with your husband. I have a very good friend that I've known through three lifetimes, covering some 466 years. Our lifetime in 1543 ended tragically with much left unfinished between us. He was my master/husband in that life and he was very authoritarian. In this life, as friends, I find he treats me the same way that he did in that lifetime. My solution is to be especially loving toward him as it deflates his authoritarianism and I reduced the amount of time I spend with him. The funny thing is he doesn't realize that he's still treating me as he did in the past. While he recognizes that I was his mother in a previous life....he doesn't recall 1543 at all.


It's my understanding that once he works through, and resolves within himself, the residual issues from that life, then the behaviour will fade away. We don't ever get away from the life lessons. What was unfinished in one gets carried forward to another to be completed. I'm glad to hear that that memory no longer holds an emotional charge. That tells me that you've learned/ are learning the lesson. Sometimes simply understanding and acknowledging the dynamic of a situation can make all the difference. I think it's very cool that you and your husband have come back together to complete this.


Blessings.

 

[soulfreindly]

I think it is important to always put love and goodness first and not to be hard on oneself . Just because you could not find your boundaries in your life in the concentration camp and with your husband does not mean that you do not have a right to your feelings.


Facing things that overpower us is difficult and we all deserve support and love to be able to grow. We have many lives because we do need time to grow. There is a progression in our learning and just because we have a painful, traumatic or difficult time does not mean that we deserved it or somehow brought it upon ourselves. Bad things do happen to good people. Life is meant to be good--


I guess it depends if your feeling he grabs your energy is based on his actions or on your perceptions. Maybe you need a change in order to get a better grasp of things?? Maybe you are at that point where now that you are not triggered to that past you can learn another approach. I would give it some time and see what happens.


I also find it very important to not get hung up on the one/ two / three lives.. ie there are many facets to our soul and what made it . Remembering other experiences could help you to move forward.


soulfreindly

 

[Karoliina]

Welcome to the forum, IsabellaLuna.


Thanks for sharing your story. To me it sounds like there could be karma, ie. energy imbalance, between you and your husband. I believe karma is created when someone is taking away another person's ability to choose. This creates an imbalance, and before it has been corrected, karma works like a magnet drawing these two souls back together.


I believe that to bring the energy balance back, the similar kind of deed has to be done in reversal - or prevented (often a nicer option). I also believe you can decide not to deal with that karmic ribbon in your current lifetime, which would make things easier between you and your husband now in this life - but you would face the same issues in another incarnation.


I believe a karmic ribbon can be burned also by true forgiveness, but I think it's often difficult to do that, and it requires a lot of work. Still it could be worth a shot, to try and work with these memories, and try to really forgive the essence that did you wrong in the past. There could be also other past life experiences affecting you two - ones that you have yet to remember.


These are only my personal beliefs and suggestions, but if you and your husband want to stay together, it's good to try and make your shared life smoother. I'm in the middle of the same process myself.


Good luck, and keep us posted! :thumbsup:


Karoliina

 

[Truthseeker]

I realize I did not say in my post that I would like feedback about it. I ask everyone who reads this thread - do these memories sound like past life memories? From what I have read on the board, it sounds like they fall into that realm, because they are so vivid and emotionally charged, and I have experienced a progression of healing in this life as I process those memories (most specifically the concentration camp memories).

Hello Isabella and welcome.


It is certainly possible that this is a past life memory. It is particularly validating that both of you remember that life. And, your right, emotions are a strong indicator.


I believe you are in a unique situation in that this is something you both remember. I feel like this is an opportunity for you to heal these old wounds and release this negative energy. It sounds like you have already made progress with your Roman/Greek life. If these emotions are affecting this life, it could have affected other lives as well. It is possible that there is another experience from another life that you do not yet remember that is preventing these feelings from being totally released.

 

[deborah]

Hi Isabellaluna,


Truthseeker makes an excellent point here:

It is possible that there is another experience from another life that you do not yet remember that is preventing these feelings from being totally released.

I have read of accounts and worked with people who have told me of past live scenarios where this is the case. Sometimes what happened in a life time - was repeated, or scenarios reversed. Have you thought about doing a regression where you back back to "before" - it might surprise you.

 

[IsabellaLuna]

Thank you all very much for welcoming me, and for your feedback.


Many of you suggested that multiple shared past lives may be at work here between my husband and I. I get the sense that it’s not multiple. In my past life memories, I have noticed that I feel a resonating thread of connection between current life and past lives, and between past lives and past lives, even if I remember one life and not the others. But I feel no such thread with my husband and other lives, just the greek/roman one. Could be deeply buried.


Karoliina and SoulFriendly, you both mentioned forgiveness. I agree with you. I am in the process of that with both this greek/roman life and the concentration camp life, both of which are most at the forefront now. It seems they are coming to my consciousness for healing the past few years because they are both clearly connected with present life issues. I learned that forgiveness can come after acknowledging the true feelings of the situation and processing them.


Something that Goldfish65 and Truthseeker both said reminded me that this work needs to be done by my husband too, not just me. I am almost certain that he has not learned his lessons from that life, because he is not doing any work with it. When we have talked about it, he comes across as if he is resolved with it, but really he gets defensive, and I don’t feel heard regarding what my experience was. He is really concerned with being thought of as a bad person. I told him sincerely that I don’t think that he is bad, and neither did my past life self, and I explained my past life self’s feelings from the new perspective I had, non-judgmentally. He seemed to be slightly relieved but I could feel that there was still a very strong charge there, for him. I think that may be what Karoliina was pointing to in her post about karma and energy imbalance.


ChrisR – Thank you. So far I haven’t gotten the sense that my husband was with me in the concentration camp life.


Goldfish65- Thank you. I think it’s really cool too that you and your friend have remembered these lifetimes that you have shared. It’s interesting about the authoritarian piece. You said that you are very loving toward him, and I see that you also limit your time with him.


SoulFriendly- I didn’t mean to sound as if I think that my feelings are not valid. I believe that they are valid. It was my past life selves who felt like their feelings were invalidated in those lives. The self that experienced the concentration camp was blown away by the experience, it shattered her and she died having a forever fatalistic view about life. That is what came up in my memory of it, and is what needed to be processed. I don't feel hung up on the lives, it's more like they have stepped forward in my consciousness, asking for my attention for healing.


Karoliina – It’s good to know that you are in the same process yourself! Thanks for your insights about karma and energy imbalance. I agree. I’m not sure how reversal or prevention would work in our situation, I have to think about this. I do know that I don’t want to put off the learning to another lifetime. I think my past life little boy self was trying to “prevent” by urging me not to be in relationship with my husband, for fear of enacting the kind of relationship that he didn’t want.


Truthseeker - I feel that this is an opportunity for healing too.


Deborah – I haven’t done a regression for what happened “before”. However what came to mind when I read your question was a life (I am pretty sure it was before the greek/roman one) in which I was a soldier, and I was playfighting with another soldier with swords, and he got me. He stabbed me in my right side, in my liver, and I couldn't believe that I lost. I died feeling bereft and in disbelief that I had lost the game. I felt shame to be so weak and to be killed. Even if it wasn't my husband who did the stabbing in that life, I may have carried the feelings from that experience with me into the greek/roman life and perhaps that memory was triggered by what happened with the mentor. Ashamed of being weak, not wanting to be overpowered and defeated.

 

[Karoliina]

Karoliina – It’s good to know that you are in the same process yourself! Thanks for your insights about karma and energy imbalance. I agree. I’m not sure how reversal or prevention would work in our situation, I have to think about this. I do know that I don’t want to put off the learning to another lifetime. I think my past life little boy self was trying to “prevent” by urging me not to be in relationship with my husband, for fear of enacting the kind of relationship that he didn’t want.

I'm not sure I think the situation in the Greek/Roman PL would've created actual karma, as I don't feel the mentor limited the boy's ability to choose. At least not severly. That's why I thought the karmic ribon might have been created in another lifetime between the two of you. But it's also possible it's not about actual karma, but just other shared and traumatic PL experiences.


Karoliina

 

[IsabellaLuna]

Thank you Karoliina,


It's true, as far as I can remember the boy was able to choose in that life. It's more like the boy wanted to continue making the choice not to have an intimate relationship with the mentor, in any lifetime, forever. He doesn't want the mentor to "win". He is afraid that the mentor is really still just trying to be with him as a little boy. Or, to put it another way, in whatever for we show up in in another life, he is afraid that the mentor is always trying to get him to submit.

 

[IsabellaLuna]

I meant to also say that we have experienced similar traumatic experiences in this current life. I have done a lot of work around that for myself. And in the process of doing that work, PL have come up too, connected to it. So I do know that my current life traumas have a relationship with PL traumas.


It is interesting to think about how current and PL traumas are related and how current life can trigger PL. Also, even if two people have never shared a PL, their PL traumas can complement and trigger each other.

 

[soulfreindly]

SoulFriendly- I didn’t mean to sound as if I think that my feelings are not valid. I believe that they are valid. It was my past life selves who felt like their feelings were invalidated in those lives. The self that experienced the concentration camp was blown away by the experience, it shattered her and she died having a forever fatalistic view about life. That is what came up in my memory of it, and is what needed to be processed. I don't feel hung up on the lives, it's more like they have stepped forward in my consciousness, asking for my attention for healing.

Hi Isabella.. I was not referring to how you felt when I said not to get hung up on the one life.. I should have worded it differently.. Sorry.


What I meant is that to get to the heart of the matter I found I needed to go to remembering other lives-- ie I did get hung up for awhile on the holocaust and it was totally understandable as it did leave such a deep imprint and I really wanted to refind that self which was so denied . I had three lives there .. and in order to get over it I had to go to remember other lives as those parts of myself which were blocked had to do with father/ mother/ sibling figures who played a role in my development in several lives. Through putting the pieces together of my relations I am better able to process those feelings left from the holocaust.


I liked what you said about processing the true feelings acknowledging them , not letting them remain hidden and secret. We all need to feel real , knowing that others see the whole of us . :thumbsup:.


soulfreindly

 

[deborah]

HI Isabellaluna,


Have you read Only Love Is Real: A Story of Soulmates Reunited

If not I recommend it. The healing that takes place, the synchronicity, the love within the events and between people, Heartfelt. :cool

 

[Truthseeker]

Have you read Only Love Is Real: A Story of Soulmates Reunited

I have read it and I definately recommend it. :thumbsup:

 

[IsabellaLuna]

Hi Isabella.. I was not referring to how you felt when I said not to get hung up on the one life.. I should have worded it differently.. Sorry.
What I meant is that to get to the heart of the matter I found I needed to go to remembering other lives-- ie I did get hung up for awhile on the holocaust and it was totally understandable as it did leave such a deep imprint and I really wanted to refind that self which was so denied . I had three lives there .. and in order to get over it I had to go to remember other lives as those parts of myself which were blocked had to do with father/ mother/ sibling figures who played a role in my development in several lives. Through putting the pieces together of my relations I am better able to process those feelings left from the holocaust.


I liked what you said about processing the true feelings acknowledging them , not letting them remain hidden and secret. We all need to feel real , knowing that others see the whole of us . :thumbsup:.


soulfreindly

Thanks soulfriendly, that does make sense. I am aware that I have other lives with feelings/issues linked to the holocaust life, I just don't remember them yet.


I am curious, how did you have 3 lives during the holocaust? (or did I misunderstand?) Do you have your story on a thread on this site? I'll look and see.


Deborah,


Thanks for the book suggestion! I did read it many years ago. I am going to read it again and see what I get from it now. Thanks Truthseeker, for also recommending it.

 

[soulfreindly]

I am curious, how did you have 3 lives during the holocaust? (or did I misunderstand?) Do you have your story on a thread on this site? I'll look and see.

Hi Isabella


I have posts here and there about my experiences.


I came back quickly into 6 lives total in the 1900s.\


wwI died a British soldier age 17 in 1917


Born a Jewish girl .. killed by Nazis 1929


Born a Jewish girl 1930 .. died age 10 in Bergen Belsen


Born a Jewish girl 1940 .. died age 3 in Auschwitz


Born a Jewish baby right in Auschwitz 1944 ..killed at birth.


soulfreindly

 

[IsabellaLuna]

soulfriendly,


Thanks for sharing about your lives. It is very interesting that you had several lives in quick succession especially during the Holocaust. I am sure that there is much you are learning from this. I died in Bergen Belsen too, 1945.

 

[IsabellaLuna]

New regression that gave more insight


In therapy I was exploring my anger with my husband, and the concept of surrender, and I realized that I see him as an enemy, and I don't like to surrender. I explored that and found that I see surrender as slowly dying while I am still alive. I saw this related to the concentration camp, and another past life revealed itself, related. In that past life I was a soldier and felt hatred for the enemy. I was defended, strong, and wanted to kill. I saw myself and one of the enemy striking each other at the same time. I couldn't breathe. Then I was laying down in bright light, couldn't breathe and felt scared. Then I saw the enemy standing above me. I got a sense of him being a Hun or Mongolian. He wore a furry hat and fur trimmed hide shirt and pants, with metal and rope trimmings. My feet were bound by rope. I felt that surrender meant defeat in this situation, giving up. But I didn't want to surrender, not even while being captured. I didn't want to surrender my self or the cause I believed in. I believed in defending and fighting to the death. I was dragged through the snow by my feet. I felt devastated. The enemy stopped dragging me and was doing stuff nearby, I don't know what. But he seemed cheerful that he had captured me. I started crying. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to let go of my life and love. I went inward to a place of white light, I kept going further and further into it and felt deeply that I did not want to let go. I got that he was my husband in this life. I didn't recognize him.


The next piece I saw was this self intensely wanted vengeance, wanted to kill people who hurt him. He wanted to make them pay for what they did to him.


After this regression and acknowledging the feelings, I felt a new calm feeling in my chest and lungs. I can breathe easier. I had some subtle difficulty breathing before; it used to be worse when I was younger. I didn't have asthma, but always felt a pressure on my chest that made it difficult for me to inhale fully. My breathe would catch as I inhale. Now I can inhale without a catch and my breathing is more automatic. I also feel more calm, stronger and grounded in a different way. I feel there is more healing that is needed for this life; so far this regression was really helpful.

 

[soulfreindly]

I am glad that you were able to work some of that out Isabella. Fascinating ..


Is the feeling of worry about breathing a usual thing on your mind?? Do you think you have more healing around this tension?? Or perhaps the feelings of revenge will lead to another tension. When I think of revenge I think of the liver as liver and anger are related.


Maybe you could watch to see if you feel any tension in your abdomen when thinking of these feelings of revenge.


I use body/ mind connections alot in my regression work. By following where I hold my tension and remembering where this tension started in my past and how it affected my soul along my many lives I find I can gain some great insights into my personal approach to life.


soulfreindly

 

[soulfreindly]

I am sure that there is much you are learning from this.

Yes I sense that the holocaust was a turning point for me. I feel more aware of the spiritual side of life I think.. as far as I remember..


After my third life there in 1944 I could not move forward towards the light. I ended up in a ghost state . It was not until my twin sister from my second life in the holocaust came to me and invited me back to this life with her, that I felt a reconnection to moving forward out of my fear.


This feeling of not moving forward has played a big part of my life in this life. I suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome where I have problems walking and being on my feet. All of this issue I have been able to trace back.. to another parrelel life plus to the my karmic bonds with the people key in my journeys. It was very interesting to find the connections-- alot of work mind you== not sure if I did not bite off more than I can chew.. another lesson.,sigh..


soulfreindly

 

[IsabellaLuna]

I am glad that you were able to work some of that out Isabella. Fascinating ..
Is the feeling of worry about breathing a usual thing on your mind?? Do you think you have more healing around this tension?? Or perhaps the feelings of revenge will lead to another tension. When I think of revenge I think of the liver as liver and anger are related.


Maybe you could watch to see if you feel any tension in your abdomen when thinking of these feelings of revenge.


I use body/ mind connections alot in my regression work. By following where I hold my tension and remembering where this tension started in my past and how it affected my soul along my many lives I find I can gain some great insights into my personal approach to life.


soulfreindly

Thank you soulfriendly. Interesting that you mention this, I use body/mind connections too. I am aware of the association with anger and the liver, I work with five element theory and Taoist healing sounds. It's logical to associate anger with revenge. Though I felt anger, and sadness, along with the revenge, the revenge seemed to be a specific feeling on it's own too. I felt the revenge connected to my chest and lungs (particularly in my upper back), and to my pelvis/uterus (where I have a uterine fibroid that I am working on healing, a lot of which has past life connections too). The breathing problem was not always on my mind though I often was aware of a feeling of holding my breath and my breath catching. I do feel a marked easing of this tension with my breathing after this regression, and feel there is more release that needs to be done (like there is another layer or more). I also still feel tension in my abdomen. I got that I needed take a break to rest and integrate, and go back and do more work with that life. In the past few years of working on my fibroid healing, I got that my ngs and grief were connected to it, and I processed a lot of stuck grief. I see this regression as another layer revealed regarding unresolved feelings and energy connection between my lungs and uterus.


In Christian Northrup's book, "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" she talks about energy medicine, and says that feelings of revenge are connected to the ovaries. Also, Caroline Myss talks about fibroids as being stuck creativity. I hadn't thought of revenge in relation to this, but now it has me thinking of revenge as an unhealthy way of channeling creative energy. Because the revenge wasn't able to be carried out and is just there simmering, it's quietly "wreaking havoc" inwardly. Both the ovaries and uterus are related to the second chakra, which is related to relationships, money and balance of power; revenge is a negative expression of that chakra energy.


I am finding that by asking my feelings or physical symptoms in my body where they originate from, I am led to current and past life sources. It unfolds especially easily when the feelings or symptoms are very strong.

 

[soulfreindly]

revenge and creativity

In Christian Northrup's book, "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" she talks about energy medicine, and says that feelings of revenge are connected to the ovaries. Also, Caroline Myss talks about fibroids as being stuck creativity. I hadn't thought of revenge in relation to this, but now it has me thinking of revenge as an unhealthy way of channeling creative energy. Because the revenge wasn't able to be carried out and is just there simmering, it's quietly "wreaking havoc" inwardly. Both the ovaries and uterus are related to the second chakra, which is related to relationships, money and balance of power; revenge is a negative expression of that chakra energy.


.

Thanks ever so much for this Isabella. This is just what I needed to hear.!!!. I see now that I was getting stuck on concentrating on my liver. About a month ago I started getting severe sweats and my liver symptoms { food sensitivities have become horrible]. I did think of the hormonal problems and have been taking some supports, but I was concentrating too much emotionally on my anger.. and will use your information to go deeper into the hormonal part { female issues]


What is amazing is that the life where i was killed has ramifications throughout my karma with my sense of creativity. And I do have a hard time not wanting some sort of revenge deep down on this person.


This person is my mother. In one life she and I were freinds. We both were having a relatoinship with my " now father"-- neither of us aware of it. Upon finding out , she flipped out and pushed me over a cliff.. to my death.


I have this problem with leaning backwards.. as soon as I feel I am leaning back I panic . I have not been able to release and trust.


Now in our relationship in this life there is alot going on between the three of us.. a power dynamic which has been stifling me.. and coincidentally having to do with money as I am somewhat dependent on them financially. Amazing how important your info is to me..


I have been bed bound for a few days with these severe sweats. MY father is in the hospital possibly facing his death and I have been really feeling all of this karma. I am trying to be honest with my feelings and my self. I have not been able to share with them my real self and I feel so bound to do so... ie I feel I am cheating myself everytime I think of them.


I feel if I let go and surrender .. and let myself go back to that trust and freindship I had with my mother , the same thing is going to happen...ie she will betray me again. And neither of us are putting the blame where it lies.. ie with the actions of my father.


Both of us have had this power play with my dad in other lives . I am hoping to have the strength to totally release this karma.. it really has been killing me. I see that I am afraid of my anger and fear .. I want to feel I am taking action with faith and a positive direction to release my creativity.. that my power is not destructive.


Thanks ever so much for your input .. I wish you much happiness, love , wealth and health.


soulfreindly

 

[IsabellaLuna]

You are welcome soulfriendly, I am glad this struck a chord for you. Thank you for the lovely wishes in return.


I am sorry to hear about your father, and about you being ill and bed bound. This sounds like a really difficult time for you. I think it is natural that the issues would magnify, with your Dad possibly dying. I wish you much love and Divine support during this time, and I hope that you can be as gentle with yourself as possible.


Were you relating your food allergy symptoms to liver and anger? They also can be related to adrenals/kidneys which are related to fear in five element theory. Also, the adrenals are a part of the hormone system. If they are stressed or depleted they can throw the hormones off, and cause allergies because the histamine response gets set off. Please be careful with taking hormone supplements, I don't know if what you are taking is prescribed or if you are self-medicating with alternative medicine. Even if it is "natural" or herbal it can throw your body further off balance if you don't know which hormones are out of balance and why. The hormone system is intricate and sensitive. I thoroughly believe in alternative medicine, it's a part of my lifestyle, I'm just saying be careful.


I recommend reading Christiane Northrup's book that I mentioned, and read online about the second chakra and third chakras. You might also want to read Carolyn Myss's "Why People Don't Heal and How they Can", and "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. This last book is great for helping to uncover and unstick creativity. I also recommend doing some meditating and communicating with your pelvic area (womb, ovaries, etc) and kidneys. See what information you get.

 

[soulfreindly]

Thanks Isabella.


I have read two of the books and found them interesting . I am not sure yet how to pursue the hormonal supports and will consider your suggestions.


I am trying to work with all of my systems as health comes through balance. I also think that our body parallels our different karmic manifestations. It seems with me that my right side /left side ties in with the two threads of "families" I have had . IT is like my two families have so far never melded, but karmically we are working towards that???


I also see a connection to the different body parts representing the different elements of myself. My legs I relate to the male side of me , and the arms to my female. Whether that is just how it has manifested in me own mind/body relationship I don't know. I see that I am seeking to balance these forces so that I become a whole person.


I was stuck on thinking that my liver was the most pressing problem =my most acute pain manifests there. The feelings around my mother got in the way of allowing myself to move forward. I decided yesterday morning that I held no responsibility for our poor relationship and that it does not reflect badly on me that I do not love her alot. I felt released from that issue .


It was great to feel unstuck again and to take the leap and be able to trust having a look at some other past life issues. I spent some time thinking of my pelvic area and had a memory of being raped as a very young girl.


It turned out to play into my problems with eating. While this person was raping me they would lick my skin alot. It was this experience that upon remembering I felt a release..


I see that the licking image had a mind/body link to my relationship to food-- when I thought of holding food in my mouth and licking my own food I was triggering to the image of this horribly scary licking= and so I had a negative mind/body reaction to food.


At least now without that stress my body can gain more balance and strength. So thanks again.. our discussion has helped me to move on.


My dad is out of the hospital and this crisis is abating.


soulfreindly