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Persistent PL

MarkDP

MarkDP

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I have had an odd thing happening when I try to concentrate on one PL, I am having another set of images break into my thoughts. They have become very persistent. I am seeing a Christian monk or priest walking across the nave of a very large cathederal. (Its a much larger church than I have encountered.) I feel the monk wants me to follow him. We enter a door way to the side and go down steps its a very narrow passage way. We go a little further into a dimly lit hall, the only light is from sunlight coming in through the small windows in the doors of the hall and from under the doors. With his left arm he slides open a door. He does not face me while doing this (to think of it, I've only seen his face from the side). Inside is the same monk seated on a stool, bent over a tall legged desk writing on parchment(?). He motions with his right arm to come closer and look at the writing. Whatever he is writing fills me with foreboding and I have not gone any closer and force the images to stop.

I feel that what is written there has meaning to my current life experience and my previous lives. I will eventually look at what is there.

Has anyone else experienced this type of persistence of a PL memory?
 
I don't think I have, MarkDP, although there have been phases with some memories that wouldn't leave me alone. But I find your story very interesting, and hope you'll keep us posted if you'll find out what the monk is writing there.


Do church buildings or monks/priests hold any special significance to you in this life?


Karoliina
 
Interesting MarkDP. Sometimes I will begin thinking I will meditate on an incident from past life x, to find out more and find myself in life y pondering on some quite different incident, or even some present day life incident. Sometimes, later I will see the connection. Sometimes it is just poor concentration!


I don't know how you can resist looking at the parchment!! I would be consumed with curiosity. If it is something so important your 'sub-conscious' keeps pestering you about it, shouldn't you take a peek? Eh? What's the worst thing that can happen?


Boo! :eek:
 
Interesting, MarkDP! I agree with Tanguerra - how can you possibly not look at that?? lol


On a more serious note...If you have the courage to look at that parchment and whatever it says, I think that persistent memory will stop.


Have you had any other memories concerning the monks?


:)
 
Hi Mark,


I agree with Tanguerra and Sunniva. Perhaps – you are supposed to see what’s written before the flashes will stop. Our consciousness can be a bit of a trickster when it wants us to know something. If I “ignore” what I get, it seems to manifest in other ways – through dreams, spontaneous recall etc. until I acknowledge it. ;)


I also find that during meditations – my personal preference is to allow consciousness to take me where I need to be, rather than trying to see something different from what is shown to me.


If it is really bothering you and you don’t feel ready to see what is written, I would suggest either taking a break from the meditations for a couple of weeks – or perhaps taking 15 minutes prior to the actual meditation to set a “focus.” Many people I know ask Spirit for assistance – in showing them what they need to see – in relation to their present lives. For example – ask questions about a specific life before the meditation and focus on those questions going in. Keep it simple. ;)


Good luck,


Ailish :)
 
Churches are very Significant

Karoliina said:
Do church buildings or monks/priests hold any special significance to you in this life?


Karoliina
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I used to be a minister. I hold a Masters degree in theology. I was planning to go further. Things didn't work out.


I don't attend church services any longer. I have attempted to return to church several times. I'm just not comfortable.


Why I don't look? I am fearful. I think I know what is there. Its very relevant to my life now.


I spent last Thursday in one of the great cathedrals here in the city, St. Peter's and Paul's. I love this place. I go there alone as much as I can. Great place for prayer and meditation. Its very special sacred place to me. I use the rosary as part of my meditation practice, even though I am not a catholic. It really has helped me focus my thoughts. But, this monk has been so persistent.


The persistence has amazed me. Its a little irritating.


I'll look, but I am hard headed. Probably won't do what he wants me to do.


Actually, I was more curious to know if you all have had similar experiences.
 
More


My monk has been more persistent. I see his face now. He looks something like my late brother. He has a whimsical smile and gestures me to come. He now winks before turning to leave.


When I saw the monk earlier in my life, he was in a dark cell, cold and damp. Now the cell is warm and well lit.


The book! Well, I still hesitate to look, however I have seen a bit from the edges. It is an illumination of the events of my lives.


I have layed my head down on the book and felt the smoothness of the vellum. It is a beautiful book, although I don't think all the events are so beautiful as the illustrations I have seen out the corner of my eye.


As I have thought on this book I have seen a pattern appear in my lives. There is a person I see in almost all. What is her/his meaning?


In all but one life she is a female. In the one life that she is a male, she cuts off my head in battle.


In the earliest memory of her, she is a child. We are with a group of slaves trying to escape from an underground prison. We have been trapped inside, for some reason. I lead them, they are a black haired people, Asian like features. We go one way then another, then another. Finally in exhaustion we lay down to rest. By torch light, after a long rest, I see her standing over me. "Wake up, Mark," she says. I understand her, even though my name is not Mark Later, in my arms this "Little One" dies, as all there do, in the darkness. She is not my daughter, but the love and compassion for her are as great.


Next rememberance is on the battle field and it is the "Little One" leaping and taking my life with his sword. Not so, bad. That life was miserable. I've seen his/my shack, cold and damp. He raised a few vegtables, worked hard for some master. He dies a meaningless death, in a meaningless battle, ending a poor and meaningless life.


I do not see her, yet, with the Catholic monk. I think I will though. My feeling is that the monk and the "Little One" get in trouble together.


Next, she is Wei-Min on Formosa. She brings life to a unhappy AWOL sailor. But, Thomas commits suicide when seperated from his Little One and faced with the lives his waywardness has destroyed.


Finally, there is the Buddhist monk who gives up Nirvanna so that he can someday return to find his Little One. HE finds her on his last day alive. Even though she never appears to see or recognize him, he sees her and must return again.


She/he is a companion, a fellow traveller. She is a life giver. She is a trouble maker.


What is the meaning of all of this? Its probably in that book. I think I need to do more than read the book. Maybe there is a pen nearby and I will need to write in the book an ending for this latess adventure.


Yes, I will eventually raise my head off the book.
 
Dang it MarkDP - I wish you would take a look in that book! I know you will in good time, but the anticipation is wearing me out. :laugh:


I have been pondering on the pioneering work of 20th Century psychiatrists, such as Freud and Jung and their comrades, and wondering if a great deal of the contents of what they named our 'subconscious' is actually the vast storehouse of our past life memories. It would seem to me to be a simpler explanation.


All these fantasies about being married to our mother/brother/sister and dreams of murdering various relatives and so forth which Freud came up with elaborate explanations for could really have another explanation couldn't they? Perhaps they are simple, literal truth and just memories of previous lives - nothing to do with repressed desires, complexes, phobias and so on at all? They can certainly be disturbing that is for sure, but are most regular therapists looking at it the wrong way? Is that why it takes so long to treat some of these problems the old fashioned way when Past Life therapy can be so quick and so effective in many cases, often when 'straight' therapy has completely failed?


Jung would say that your recurrent 'fantasy' about this woman is your anima ('other half' / shadow / yang to your yin / complemetarity) speaking to you in allegorical terms through dreams, trying to show you want your current life is missing, how to get it back into balance etc. etc. I would say this is someone you have known over and over again throughout many incarnations, what some people call your 'soul mate'. It does not seem to be that uncommon. I certainly have one.


Of course, she could be all of these things - anima, subconscious desires and soul mate. Why not?


Very interested in how it comes out! How is the Formosa book coming along, by the way?
 
Dang It!!!!


I love when a woman talks that way!


I've been very busy.


I have looked into the book. I've seen things that I need to digest, then I'll report back.


My job keeps me "on my toes." At the moment, I am nearly burned out.


If you pray, remember MarkDP.


Take care all. :)
 
reading our story


Thank you for sharing your story. I am happy that you were able to read what was written and work with the information presented. I am curious, if this is a common theme in unraveling our PL histories. I have had books or pages presented to me many times, but I can't read the words or can't "sustain" my attention,I guess. Once once, I had a large book open up to only one page. It showed me a current situation I was in now. I had a choice to make. The options were being presented. Everything was presented from Spirit's point of view. All choices should be based on the "highest" good for all. I remember "thinking" as I was reading, wow, this is really great. I can just open this book, and know what to do.


Julie
 
Who Am I


My book is filled with images. Some are "snap shots", some are "illuminations". There are many pages, very few words. They lay open several lives revealing the character of the protagonist.


I'll use the third person here. The main character in each story reveals a person who is both cruel and tender, loving and vengeful. His true nature is hidden. In each life he is confused and befuddled by existence. However at some point someone enters his life, and things change. For a short time he is focused and alive, but all his efforts are futile. He tries to change, to grasp meaning, but it alludes him.


In one life he tries to save a girl child from a great disaster. He pours his whole effort into keeping her safe. She dies in his arms.


In another life, she appears, aids him in saving his son. But, she dies from horrible disease and his life ends in a meaningless battle.


In another life they are butchered together, victims of politics and a greedy Church.


Again he meets her on a far off island. He has run away from his wife and home and meets her. She gives him life and children, only to loose both to more powerful forces and eventual suicide.


Then he is a monk who refuses nirvana so he might return for the chance to see her again.


Finally....


These are human lives filled with great drama on a small local scale. What heights of triumph or depths of defeat are revealed in one human life? They are here in this book for me.


It is amazing when one looks at the life of one human being. We are all so complex. We are horrific and we are wonderful. If anyone of us would look into the book of our life, we would find things of shame and honor.


When we look we must ask the question, who am I?


As I read the offerings in the forum, I read of others who are wrestling with that question. The answer is not easy, is it?


Keep writing and exploring it helps the rest of us.
 
Giving up Nirvana? This I understand. Here's hoping that the ellipsis becomes: "finally they found peace".


Hugs, R.
 
When we look we must ask the question, who am I?
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I feel as if you are speaking to me. I wonder why that is? :confused:


Your lives are amazing. You have a lot to digest Mark. I'm curious as to what conclusions you have made regarding yourself.
 
Looking for meaning


I have been trying to think of a way to answer Amy's post. I don't really know how to say what I have learned from this experience. I see myself in both of these people. I am both of these people. (However, I believe that they are seperate indivduals who really lived.)


In each lifetime I see a man who is missing pieces of his inner self. He is restless never quite fulfilled. He is never satisfied with the life he chooses.


The other, the woman or girl is much the same way. She is missing pieces of her inner self. She is adrift never finding a sure place.


Both attempt to cling to a religious faith. It does not satisfy.


They are opposites. But, they are very much alike. Inwardly they are both at war with themselves. A battle rages inside them between doing good and evil. The battle at times overwhelms them and destroys them. It can consume others around them, also.


The fleeting moments of happiness they share can so suddenly turn to sorrow and despair. Together they are both moth and flame.


They are drawn to be near each other. They are compelled to influence each other, whether they actually meet face-to-face in a life time. They are souls entangled by a common purpose and need. They have been this way a long, long time.


They will do much good for the other. They are, also, a very real danger to each other. Each loves and hates the other. Yet they are only fully alive when together.


Every other person is a mere shadow to them in comparison.


In some sense they are two lost souls. They are puzzled by their own existence.


They crave to be consumed by the Divine. Yet they only see the Divine in the other.


There is a bonding, a devotion, a dependency to one another that borders on worship. I am not sure that they worship the other or that they worship the self they see in the other. This devotion has been a very dangerous thing to them.


How do they find peace? There is a way. There is a path for them to follow. But, for both it is such a difficult thing. They need to do it together and this is how they loose their way. When together they are drawn away from the path.


When they follow the path together it does much good. But, this path seperates them. They forget that it is the path that leads to their perfect union and rest. Their co-dependency keeps them from their ultimate fulfillent.


What path is this? We all know this answer. It is the old path of renunciation, compassion and service.


When they have worked together for others, it has done much good. They have saved lives. They have given hope. All of this despite their inner conflicts.


This is who they are! They are the pebbles thrown into the water. The ripples radiate out in all directions and make a beautiful display. The pebbles fade into the depths of the water and find their resting place.


I believe in this current incarnation they will have the chance to find their resting place. They have a task ahead of them. If they acknowledge this task, give themselves to the task then together they will find their resting place.


However, if they give in to their desire and dependency they will follow the path of pain they have known through too many incarnations.
 
What a vivid story


While writing in the third person, do you see yourself as one or the other in every case, or switching from one to the other?


Do you think they both represent the masculine and feminine of you?


Presently, is there a conflict in your life (other than the anxiety of your work)?


Is your work keeping you from fulfilling personal goals?
 
Anxiety?


I love my job. The anxiety I feel in it comes from other factors. No one pressures me to do my work. I pressure myself because I want to be useful.


Is their conflict in my life? Always!! The people who I allow close to me often wonder how I hold myself together. Actually they are the ones who hold me together. I have few friendships, but the ones I have are deep.


Since I started this thread the persistent dreams have stopped. I have a clear idea of the contents of the book.


Yes, it is easier to refer to myself in third person. I have done this for a long time. It helps me think. Also, tends to make me very critical of myself.


Are these aspects of myself? YES!


These two entities are inseperable. Even when they are physically apart they are together.


He is she! She is he!


The female is always "boyish".


The male tends to be "motherly".


The male is always at least 10 years old than the female.


He absolutely adores her.


I would like to draw some conclusions from all of this. I have thought and discussed this all for quite awhile.


I don't think that I will be able to do that. I don't see a way for these two to join on the path that they must follow. There are too many obstacles. The biggest obstacle being their desire for one another.


I must say good night.
 
Hello Mark. I read this thread with intense interest. You've struck an unusually common theme with me. I can't say mine is so much a dream as I've written other places; but more of a cognitive recollection of the "Her." I too am faced with this repeated separation from her.

These two entities are inseparable. Even when they are physically apart they are together.
Click to expand...
I have that same knowledge and it is profoundly powerful...agonizing and joyous. I am happy to read another's story, it's validating in many ways.
In each lifetime I see a man who is missing pieces of his inner self. He is restless never quite fulfilled. He is never satisfied with the life he chooses.
The other, the woman or girl is much the same way. She is missing pieces of her inner self. She is adrift never finding a sure place.


Both attempt to cling to a religious faith. It does not satisfy.


They are opposites. But, they are very much alike. Inwardly they are both at war with themselves. A battle rages inside them between doing good and evil. The battle at times overwhelms them and destroys them. It can consume others around them, also.


The fleeting moments of happiness they share can so suddenly turn to sorrow and despair. Together they are both moth and flame.


They are drawn to be near each other. They are compelled to influence each other, whether they actually meet face-to-face in a life time. They are souls entangled by a common purpose and need. They have been this way a long, long time.


They will do much good for the other. They are, also, a very real danger to each other. Each loves and hates the other. Yet they are only fully alive when together.


Every other person is a mere shadow to them in comparison
Click to expand...
I know this too!
I look forward to reading more here. And perhaps some understanding of this great question and journey.


Tinkerman
 
Don what do you think of the "twin flame," "twin soul" theories? Have you ever encountered it in your studies?


Mark what do you think about it? Could your persistent PL be related to this concept?
 
Twin Flame


Twin Flame? Yes, I like that idea. I think something like this is the case.


I know the Little One!


We are, even now, tied together in an impossible situation. We are trying to avoid another crisis.
 
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