Really a Soulmate?

[MobiusX]

Everybody who's in a relationship, married, etc... claims to have found his/her soul mate. There are some points that I want to make. First, a lot of these people supposedly find their soul mates in the same region where they live, not only the same country, but the same state, same county, etc... How many souls exist? A very small chance that this soul mate will only be located 30 minutes away from your house. I think if someone wants to really find out who his soul mate really is, more effort is required, he might have to travel all around the world for many years to find that person. Yes, you might have to learn a new language just to be able to communicate with your soul mate since circumstances like reincarnation placed both of you very far away from each other.There is a chance that this soul mate existed thousands of years ago and hasn't been reincarnated yet, and they will meet in another lifetime. This soul mates might have to live through several lifetimes in order to finally meet each other, either for the first or second, third time, etc... If these soul mates were put to live within the same region then that takes away the meaning of a soul mate and it no longer really means anything. Basically you can call anybody your soul mate.
I'm also sure that some people aren't meant to have any soul mates, never marry etc...

 

[Kristopher]

The way we meet our soul mate(s) in each life will always be much different. Some people may meet their soul mate very early in life, some may not meet them until they are very old. We could easily go off the track of our life plan and marry someone who we are "not supposed to" etc.


You are right that some people may stay down the street from their soul mate, while other peoples soul mate may be at the other side of the world. I think in some lives we may not meet our soul mate depending on what we are going to experience. It all depends on what we have planned before incarnating. We plan who that life will and will not involve.

 

[ChrisR]

Hi Mobius,


I think there is a hint of an answer in the first sentence of your post. Many people's definition of the words 'soul mate' is - "we're in love, we have loads in common .... therefore, we must be soul mates!" Although this might occasionally be true, in most cases I think not (just look at how divorce rates have sky rocketed in the last few decades!)


Soul mates go beyond physical love and friendship, soul mates can be the worst of enemies in one life (think of the expressions 'tough love' or 'cruel to be kind' here), or the best of friends in the next life, and like Kris said, don't always incarnate with each other in every lifetime. I believe that one can be a spirit guide to their soul mate, while in physical form. I also believe that soul mates can decide, in between lives, whether they are going to incarnate with each other, and at what stage during their lives this will happen. I think that going on a 'search' around the world for your soul mate would be futile ... if it's meant to happen, it'll most likely be at a time and location where you least expect it

 

[Tinkerman]

Good morning Mobius.


I will weigh in on a subject dear to my heart. I have been studying this very subject for a number of years. I might preface this with the premise that we can never really KNOW for sure any of this... so what we "learn" is really subjective. After reading countless books, years of meditation, consultation with other seekers and reading here on this forum, I've come to a few conclusions (very malleable conclusions!: angel) of my own. I believe we have many soul mates. I think we travel through our life times with these kindred souls for purposes of learning. Any given life time can involve any number of these fellow soul entities. BUT, and here comes my understanding of it, I believe we each have a Twin Soul.


Twin soul theory comes from many ancient creation concepts. I am not by any means an expert. But my understanding is that when the Great Creator (whatever you believe that to be) issued forth these souls into their human journey, He/She divided them from their perfection, and cast them into the world in search of each other. I know that sounds simplistic and their must be a lot more to it, but if I think of nature as a model, there is always a positive and a negative charge to everything. The ancient Yin-Yang teachings relate, in my opinion. As we progress through the ages searching for the perfection we once were, we do so in soul groups... the soul mates you refer to. Is our twin soul, the other half of our sacred entity there too? I think so... but again this is all intuition and faith.


There are many good books on this subject, and one I recommend is Twin Souls: Finding Your True Spiritual Partner by Maurie Pressman MD and Patricia Joudry. This book offered the most sensible suppositions and hypothesis. They described the qualities and characteristics that they felt identified Twin Souls and went so far as to name Twin Soul couples in history. Part of their theory is that we seek this "other half" in order to learn. And when we encounter them it is not always destined to be beautiful, with showers of flower petals and harp music. No they say we will have very rough, very sad, and very complicated encounters... and once in a while we will spend a life of bliss. Twin Souls ignite each other when they come into contact. The passion is unmistakeable and powerful, and, according to Pressman and Joudry, this is a factor in the identification process. BUT, they go on to say that we will spend life times where we do not encounter our Twin. Why? Well, they say it is all part of the growing process.


There is much, much more to all this. And it is a deep journey in understanding it. I once had an indignant fellow tell me on this forum that this "Duality" idea was a cop out for individuals. From his vantage point it was, but then again that was his journey... something he needed to learn.


SO, in conclusion is our spouse our soul mate? In my opinion no, not always. The people we encounter, and have strong bonds to, could all be soul mates.(IMO). I personally believe in the Twin Soul theory. I know mine is out there, I've met her and in this life we are a complicated jumble of emotions and relationships. But as I go deeper into this life time I realize the beauty in these challenges. As I witnessed my past lives with her in regression, I could see how we each are always teaching the other... even in the great sadness and tragedies. Sometimes the only salvation is stepping back and seeing the "big picture" of many lives, and knowing that some life time, some eventuality, will once again be perfect in a deep, sacred and eternal way.


Tinkerman

 

[usetawuz]

Tinkerman, that was about as clear and cogent a description as I've read...thank you.


I incarnate regularly with a longterm soulmate who is my wife and another who was the ex-fiance, while my twin flame is single and in Colorado...we had not planned to experience this lifetime together but there are circumstances which would allow it.

 

[gettinglucky]

I think Usetawuz's post answered your question very nicely. Yes, every single person you will ever marry across reincarnations is a soulmate. But... that does not necessarily make them your "twin flames". A twin flame is some one special who was created from the very fabric of your own unique prmordial "soul matter", sort to speak...

 

[ChrisR]

Yes, every single person you will ever marry across reincarnations is a soulmate.

I respectfully disagree with this. What about the 'gold digger' who marries a rich person just for their money? What about 'arranged' marriages?... marriages of convenience? Marriage itself is just a human act of signing a piece of paper that bonds two people together by contract, there's nothing 'spiritual' about it at all if that makes sense.


I believe a soul mate could be your son or daughter, your best friend, your worst enemy, your next door neighbour or even the postman - whatever role is the most 'fitting' for the lessons we are to learn or the experiences we choose to share with each other in each lifetime.

 

[gettinglucky]

Yes, even gold diggers are soulmates... There are no coincidental marriages, such as being married to a gold digger. But the point was, the only relationship that is eternally meant to be is one with your twin flame. We change soulmate partner in each successive life like we change clothes. However, we must all earn the priviledge to be with our twin flame for eternity...

 

[Hollis]

Yes, even gold diggers are soulmates... There are no coincidental marriages, such as being married to a gold digger. But the point was, the only relationship that is eternally meant to be is one with your twin flame. We change soulmate partner in each successive life like we change clothes. However, we must all earn the priviledge to be with our twin flame for eternity...

I agree with ChrisR. I don't see how that is probable at all. How does free will and human choice and circumstance play into your idea here?

 

[gettinglucky]

I agree with ChrisR. I don't see how that is probable at all. How does free will and human choice and circumstance play into your idea here?

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." ~ Oscar Wilde


Freewill is there, just that people don't choose to exercise them, hence circumstance rules most of their decisions.


How many people go into medicine b/c they saw on TV/read in a book that medicine is the coolest most noble profession there is? Then, they graduate and find themselves working 30 hours shifts on call living at the hospital (their 2nd home) at least 2-3 times a week, working on weekends, one day off out of 7, and wonder why they ever enrolled in med school? Was there ever free will & original thought present? Or was their idea to enter the medical profession someone else's to begin with?

 

[Tinkerman]

Yes, every single person you will ever marry across reincarnations is a soulmate.

Good morning Gettinglucky... I think I might disagree with you my friend. Or are we playing with semantics?


In my opinion and experience, marriage does not automatically mean soul mate. Again I think man has bastardized both words. Marriage today, if I may be cynical for a moment, is a relic. It is often more cake, dress and pictures than a melding of two souls. The consumerist mentality has polluted, diluted and convoluted its real meaning and ceremony. I think the same way about the current use of the word "soulmate" by society at large. The two DO mean something in their basic context, but the meaning has been diluted as mankind has drifted away from spirituality and a sense of ceremony. In the course of our souls journey, and through the many lives we live, we encounter and interact with other souls... souls of all creation, close or distant. The purpose and meaning of these interactions is relevant to both, and perhaps all souls, in a communal way. "Mate" is a suffix indicating a kindred nature. The institution of marriage does not automatically bestow "mate" status... that institution was contrived by man (church?:cool) to meet man's need to control. I think there are obvious times in history when people marry outside their soul group... as said above by Chris. BUT! I believe these marriages ARE a part of these two soul's individual journeys. They have purpose, lessons and meaning. They don't negate free will any more than choosing what's for breakfast.


In simple form, I think we often encounter NON-kindred souls. I think we bond with them and learn from them... sometimes good, sometimes tragic. I guess that's the point.: angel


Tinkerman

 

[usetawuz]

In my lexicon, a soulmate is one with whom and for whom you play various roles over lifetimes. They are familiar souls with whom you have a long experience and we identify them through an unconsciously sensed vibration...or if you are very sensitive, it may be a conscious vibration. There are always reasons we are with those near us. And I cannot see someone agreeing to spend time with me with whom I have no familiarity or lifeplan.


A twin flame soulmate is a different being altogether and has a significance I have yet to experience in my conscious state.

 

[gettinglucky]

Thanks for backing me up there, Usetawuz... That was what I was trying to get across. Even the gold digger meeting you was, shall we say, pre-planned. Maybe in another life, you were filthy rich, and she was that relative who kept visiting you, but never got anything material out of those visits. Thus, b/c of unfulfilled desires, which is a main reason why souls reincarnate, she came back as a gold digger to try yet another time...

 

[usetawuz]

Even the gold digger meeting you was, shall we say, pre-planned. Maybe in another life, you were filthy rich, and she was that relative who kept visiting you, but never got anything material out of those visits. Thus, b/c of unfulfilled desires, which is a main reason why souls reincarnate, she came back as a gold digger to try yet another time...

...or this was another opportunity to live through an apparently negative situation with love and positive actions.


I am currently involved in a replay of a negative prior life experience with the same soulmate players...instead of getting it right this time, the individual who requested this opportunity has made the same mistakes, with even greater detriment to me. I no longer have any further obligation to this individual in this lifetime, other than to let it go and not create greater negativity by acting the victim or seeking retribution. This is a longterm soulmate and one I will see in future lives...but I will not, and have no obligation to participate in this particular scenario again.