Hello there Widmo!
Widmo said:
I have an inability at this point in my meditations to get beyond this dark place. I don't know if this is a common problem or a personal one. My meditations start out as most do, in that quiet place. I imagine a place that has always been peaceful to me. Sounds like the usual experience- except for the dark place. All peace goes right out the window. Instead- Everything becomes dark, literally sometimes as an absence of light, and dark in the meaning of going to a place in my memories that are not pleasant.
I think it´s a common problem, and even though I struggle with it myself I think the solution is to actual "let go", "succumb to destiny" "what it' ll be it'll be and there's nothing you can do". I think with that frame of mind we would stop fighting or repressing whatever we are doing to block the memories, which is probably the reason why we see dark and nothing else. If you are going to a place in your memories that is not pleasant, well embrace it with joy, at least you are remembering! Good or bad it doesn' t matter, what matters is that it's strong. We should not run from ugly memories since they can be powerful.
Widmo said:
I don't know if that time will ever go away completely. It may go dim like candle light, but it always burns.I can't clear it all out. Is going to that "Dark Place" a blockage to meditation or actually a door to walk through, and face head on?
If you are a "Dead Nazi" no, it will never go away, but there are many others in your condition =D. I think the "Dark place" is both, a blockage in meditation and an opportunity to destroy it and remember and face whatever it is that you need/unconsciously want to remember.
Widmo said:
Using the information I had gathered from the documentary, I traced the building as being in Dresden. It was the German Hygiene Museum. Which has been around for some time and still is. I know when was there in my dreams, I was most likely in my 20's. In the 1933, the Nazi party took over the museum and used it as one of their foundations for eugenics and racial ideology.
What went on after 1933 there, I am not too sure. Why I was there to begin with? I don't know either. I do know it is one of the strangest verifications I have ever had- but also one of the more solid and concrete ones for me, allowing some doubts to go away.
Congratulations on your validation. Do you think you were a doctor in that life? Do you think you were involved with Eugenics?
Widmo said:
One thing that has always baffled me is why didn't the majority of those affected do something about it. Sure, you had the resistances, but over all, people willingly ( and I use that loosely) went. Granted, a lot had no idea what was going to happen, and I'm not saying it was deserved. My point is, a lot of people didn't fight back. I would have. Anyone try to take my family, me, and my life and I'd fight. I guess that is one of the the things that really bothers me. Sometimes it was so obvious-other times, no. I don't want to offend anyone with this-so I'll stop here.
Are you taking about regular citizens in occupied countries or people who got sent to the camps? Regular citizens in occupied countries maybe didn' t see as bad that the Germans invaded them, after all NationalSocialism was progressive at the time and they might have seen it as a better option than communism. As for people who got sent to the camps I think they were too separated and scattered around the countries to actually be able to organize themselves and fight back, and as you say, they also didn't really knew what was going to happen. I read the story a few years ago of an Argentine born jewish girl and her Polish mother who left Argentina to go to Poland in 1942 because somebody told them "there was work in the camps". They both died.
Widmo said:
I came across a verification today while looking for a different piece of information.
During WWII, I fell in love with a woman, which was verboten because she was Jewish and I, German. At the time I had been in charge of a certain section-which she used to her advantage apparently. She was the bookkeeper in charge of roll call for the women. In this position she saved many lives by supposedly having me transfer them to other lines of work. It was also at this time that I got into some serious trouble for falsifying documents to cover not only her, but my rear should we have been discovered. It was also to free her. She didn't love me back one bit, but rather used her position. Which I can understand.
I had suspected such but never could find any proof until today.
From the thread "what can't you stand" since you say that enclosed tight spaces with the lights turned off remind you of the gas chambers in Auschwitz I will assume that's the camp where you were, right? Do you know between what dates you were in the camp? Anyways, Even though it was forbidden by law and probably punished with a good trip to the Ostfront (yeah even more east than we were!), looks like it wasn't actually that uncommon that Kz guards would fall in love with Jewish prisoners. I don't know if you saw the documentary "Auschwitz inside the Nazi state" but there is at least one example there, I think both the Nazi and the prisoner worked in Kanada. If I remember correctly they even got married after the war.
