BriarRose
Senior Registered
I'm going to write this story now, before the pain slips away. Take it for what it is.
In my beginning attempts at meditation, sometimes I would get just a name, and a face. One of those faces was of a dark-haired woman, quite lovely in her way. The name I got was Rose Quinn. I did internet research, and found Rose Quinn Rooney listed as a civil war camp follower of sorts - a washer woman and nurse. The stories of her life made sense with what I knew of myself - she followed a Louisiana regiment into battle during the Civil War, holding a fence down at Bull Run, so her "boys" could escape the shelling. She surrendered with them at Appomattox, insisting on being imprisoned with her regiment, although the Union Army wanted no part of her. She made her way back from Appomattox to New Orleans on foot, hungry, and footsore. The money she had was worthless. A Union soldier who recognized her for a fellow Irishman, gave her coins to buy bread. I thought that she must have been as tough as nails, following the troops when she was 50 years old. I could not, for the life of me, fathom her motivation. I did a regression this afternoon, and now I know.
I saw her in an Irish graveyard, barefoot, and wearing a drab brown dress. She is mourning three graves, with wooden cross markers. A priest comes out, but she wants no part of him. "Thank you, Father, but I'll be on my way. When I sell up my "bits 'n bobs", and a bit o' land, I'll have enough for passage to America. She scorns him - a scarecrow in a black "frock". Next, I see her in New Orleans, and there is a terrible scene on a wharf. I can feel the hot, moist air, and see torches. A big, black man, knocks a woman down, grabs her child, and batters her head against the cobbles. I have no child, and no man. But my heart twists in pain, as I watch the woman scream, and grab for her child. I make a run at him, but he knocks me down, too. Somehow, I think that black men are brutes, and must not be allowed to be free. The woman and child are black, but that's the idea that plants in my mind. When the War comes, I follow the troops, because I have no one, and nothing to lose. I am strong for my years. I can take the scraps that life throws my way, and have something to spare. I am strong, and the wounded and weak can lean on me. The last scene was her death bed in an old soldier's home in New Orleans. I have pneumonia. I know it because my physical body, here and now, is convulsively coughing. My lips are white. I am old, and death breaks me, as life never could. My physical present day body is hot and cold all over, and I fear that I will leave with Rose. I leave the body, and a spirit comes for me. It reaches out to help, but I shake it off! I gather myself up with dignity, (old lady in a white nightgown), and say "Get off, now! I'll walk by myself to heaven's door, or I shan't be goin'. I hope that worthless man o' mine, Rooney, isn't there. He drank himself to death before I left Ireland!" That Rose was a hand-full all right, rusty nails, and fire to the end and beyond. She died on Moss Street. The street where I live now has the same name. I picked my name, BriarRose, before I knew about Rose Quinn Rooney. Rooney was my present life first husband. Why, oh, why did I do that again? Well, that's it, folks. It was like a bad "acid trip". I can't stop crying. I am Rose Quinn, even now, and I don't cry! At least, not for myself. As I said, make of this what you will. I told it as I lived it.
In my beginning attempts at meditation, sometimes I would get just a name, and a face. One of those faces was of a dark-haired woman, quite lovely in her way. The name I got was Rose Quinn. I did internet research, and found Rose Quinn Rooney listed as a civil war camp follower of sorts - a washer woman and nurse. The stories of her life made sense with what I knew of myself - she followed a Louisiana regiment into battle during the Civil War, holding a fence down at Bull Run, so her "boys" could escape the shelling. She surrendered with them at Appomattox, insisting on being imprisoned with her regiment, although the Union Army wanted no part of her. She made her way back from Appomattox to New Orleans on foot, hungry, and footsore. The money she had was worthless. A Union soldier who recognized her for a fellow Irishman, gave her coins to buy bread. I thought that she must have been as tough as nails, following the troops when she was 50 years old. I could not, for the life of me, fathom her motivation. I did a regression this afternoon, and now I know.
I saw her in an Irish graveyard, barefoot, and wearing a drab brown dress. She is mourning three graves, with wooden cross markers. A priest comes out, but she wants no part of him. "Thank you, Father, but I'll be on my way. When I sell up my "bits 'n bobs", and a bit o' land, I'll have enough for passage to America. She scorns him - a scarecrow in a black "frock". Next, I see her in New Orleans, and there is a terrible scene on a wharf. I can feel the hot, moist air, and see torches. A big, black man, knocks a woman down, grabs her child, and batters her head against the cobbles. I have no child, and no man. But my heart twists in pain, as I watch the woman scream, and grab for her child. I make a run at him, but he knocks me down, too. Somehow, I think that black men are brutes, and must not be allowed to be free. The woman and child are black, but that's the idea that plants in my mind. When the War comes, I follow the troops, because I have no one, and nothing to lose. I am strong for my years. I can take the scraps that life throws my way, and have something to spare. I am strong, and the wounded and weak can lean on me. The last scene was her death bed in an old soldier's home in New Orleans. I have pneumonia. I know it because my physical body, here and now, is convulsively coughing. My lips are white. I am old, and death breaks me, as life never could. My physical present day body is hot and cold all over, and I fear that I will leave with Rose. I leave the body, and a spirit comes for me. It reaches out to help, but I shake it off! I gather myself up with dignity, (old lady in a white nightgown), and say "Get off, now! I'll walk by myself to heaven's door, or I shan't be goin'. I hope that worthless man o' mine, Rooney, isn't there. He drank himself to death before I left Ireland!" That Rose was a hand-full all right, rusty nails, and fire to the end and beyond. She died on Moss Street. The street where I live now has the same name. I picked my name, BriarRose, before I knew about Rose Quinn Rooney. Rooney was my present life first husband. Why, oh, why did I do that again? Well, that's it, folks. It was like a bad "acid trip". I can't stop crying. I am Rose Quinn, even now, and I don't cry! At least, not for myself. As I said, make of this what you will. I told it as I lived it.