I was born with 2 birthmarks. One is on my hand and looks like a burn. My mother has an almost identical birthmark on the same hand. This one faded slightly as I got older. My second birthmark is of scarlike tissue and is on my neck. My mother recalls that became more pronounced as I got older. This birthmark turned into a scab and fell away when I was pregnant with my second child and came back again a few years later. So what is Rubber Burn? When I was 2 years old I suddenly became unable to eat. Repeatedly, over the course of 2 months, I would tear up my food into crumbs and say it was poison ( what 2 yeard old know what poinson is?) and smelled like "Rubber Burn". My parents tried to force feed me resulting in physical fights and them trying to cram food into my mouth. They only managed to give me liquids when they did succeed. I was taken to doctors and psychiatrists who tried everything they could think of and I even had IVs as I became emaciated. My parents became frantic as I lost more and more weight and everyone blamed someone else. One night for no apparent reason I told my parents I was starving and wanted to eat at Foster's Freeze. My parents were so excited that I would eat that they took me and my baby sister to Foster's Freeze although it was nighttime and they had to get back into their clothes to do it. While we were there our house burned. A short in a gas dryer...and it smelled like rubber burning. Had we been home we may have died. Even though I did not experience the fire I had an intense fear of fire. My thought is...perhaps this had already happened to me and I could feel the vibrations of the event about to repeat itself. That is why my mother and I bore the same mark perhaps. As I grew up I was still afraid of being poisoned through food..which I do not believe is a concept that many 2 year olds understand. I also threw away knives when no one was looking because they scared me. I was considered disturbed throughout most of my childhood and at age 12-13 became unable to speak. Once again the fear of being poisoned resurfaced boldly. I feared my stepmother was trying to poison me and indeed I felt sick all the time. I was emaciated weighing 103 pounds at 5 ft 6. My hair fell out and my periods would come every other week. I had shaking in my limbs. I think I was replaying a scene from another lifetime. My parents frustrated with my constant barrage of strangeness became very abusive. Truly, they had been abusive before that but this was a climax of their frustration. I had flashes of memories when I was younger but they were so hard to hold on to. A place with neon lights that gave me a sense of abandonment and a Place with a burnt orange door that made me feel sick to my stomach. When I was a child "burnt sienna" type colors of reddish orange made me feel anxious and even made me vomit but what was bad was..it was the 70's and that was a prevalent color. I would grind my teeth at the sight of it and I was only 9. It seems that in all aspects violence makes the past memories more profound...I only wish I could recall other aspects of those lives. I have a few psychic abilities regarding illness of others. I can't heal it unfortunately, but I have been able to tell what was wrong with people when doctors have failed to do so. I think I am a vessel God chose to pour some knowledge into and that is that. I have had some experiences where I have been in the right place at the right time to save lives...and I felt at those times someone braver than I was with me. One night I got lost in a neighborhood I thought I knew well...I was just trying to get on the freeway but wound up at my friend Karin's house. I decided although it was now after midnight to go visit her. Although I woke her up, She was happy to see me. I sat in her livingroom while she was in the kitchen making tea. I was staring into space when I realized that what I was watching was someone using a device to unlock the front door. I ran to the door and slammed it back and latched the latch. I looked out the window and saw a white man with a beanie and a pendleton and he had a Z shaped devise that I knew was something that he turned to get into house. He ran away and I ran in the kitchen to tell Karin. He was trying to come into the kitchen door and had the dorr open but it was latched. I slammed his arm into the dor until it was bloody and he withdrew it, then locked the door again and put a chair against it. I put a chair against the front door too and went and locked the windows, then called the police. Karin was shaking...She knew that she would have been asleep had I not woken her up moments earlier. I felt that he must have a weapon or he would not have been trying to get in where he knew there were two women...he must have believed he could manage it. The police told us they were on a manhunt in the area for a man who had murdered and apparently raped a woman a few blocks away and soon we heard helicopters overhead. They asked us questions for a while then left. I did not think it was only me who did what I did that night. I think I had the presence of something else divine. I was not even really scared which if I imagine a situation like that now I can not imagine not freaking out but when I am in a situation like that, someone else takes over. I now am all grown up with 4 children and a 5th on the way. People ask me how many children I will have. I tell them as many that choose me to be their mother.
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The Only thing we know for certain is that we know nothing for certain.
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The Only thing we know for certain is that we know nothing for certain.