I remembered some more last night. I was restless and couldn't sleep, so I thought, why not do a meditation? Perhaps at the very least it would relax me and maybe I'd fall asleep anyway. I've been very busy at work and my mind continued to go back to work related thoughts and refused to settle down, so I used the
Active Meditation technique.
I took myself back to being a little boy wrapped up in wolf skins when I was awoken by a 'commotion'. I deliberately slowed it all down and got a good look at where I was and what exactly was going on. Our house was built of big logs of wood, more or less in the shape of a boat, in that it was pointy at one end and blunt at the other. The 'pointy end' was built into a cleft in the rocks of the side of the valley. Very clever really because you get the thermal mass of the hillside and shelter from the weather. My mother and father had their bedroom right in the 'point' and it was closed off with some kind of thick curtain. The girls (there were three) slept outside the parents' room in beds against the walls. In the middle of the house, which sloped downhill, with steps between the levels, was the 'work' area. The kitchen on one side and on the other, spinning wheels and looms and such, wool hanging up in big 'skeins'. Well, we were shepherds. The boys (there were three plus me) slept in the blunt end. This end looked out over the little valley and had a back entrance where the boys could go in and out and tend to the sheep and so on, a little alcove for storing coats and muddy boots. The boys' end had beds built in around the walls as well - like little alcoves for sleeping. There were wolf skins on the boys' beds - presumably trapped and killed by the boys themselves over the years. I think the girls had sheep skins and woollen blankets and the like.
It was a sizeable house. Not a rich man's house by any means but it had a very settled, comfortable and properous sort of feel, as though this family had been living there for at least a few generations and were doing pretty well for themselves, in a modest Scottish sort of way.
The commotion that woke me was my mother and sisters all up at their end of the house whispering and getting out of bed and so on. I climbed out of bed, my little legs bare, (I think I'd be about 8 or so) wearing a shirt of some sort, cold flag stones on my bare feet.... The girls and my mother were looking out the door (which was in the middle of the house, near the kitchen) and we could see fire against the night sky. My mother got us all inside, put out the fire, and any lights.... as I described above. I don't remember any more of that. I assume I fell asleep.
So I said to myself (in real life) 'OK, so what happened next?' .....
I had a few flashes.
My father came back after a time with two of my brothers, but one had been killed. I would have been maybe 10 then.
I remembered some years later (I'd be about 14) we packed up the whole house. All our stuff was bundled up and put on a cart. We joined up with the rest of the village and made the long trek, north, (definitely uphill most of the way!). I remember I had lanky legs and red curly hair. The men mostly wore a red tartan and my present day self thought that was a fairly unfortunate combination with all that red hair...but anyway...
Everyone around about was flocking to the same place to find safety in numbers. It was a large castle that was owned by a nobleman distantly related to our family / clan. The old fashioned way in times of trouble I suppose. The 'Laird' took everyone in. The women were put to work in the kitchens or laundries or whatever and the men would work for him doing trades, or become his soldiers or whatever else he might need done. Fair enough deal I guess in the circumstances.
But, it wasn't really a lord and serfs sort of situation really, or even a master/servant situation. While everyone admired and respected the Laird and all, there was a feeling of more equality than I would have expected. There was a sense that we were all in this together, and we were all family as well in one way or another, so we all rubbed along well enough.
I remembered a large b@anquet in the big hall, and yes, lots of Scottish dancing going on. I was older by now, 17 or 18 or so perhaps. I'd begun to fill out, and was very tall, although still rather awkward. I'd been helping out the Laird with my brothers doing a bit of our own 'skirmishing'. I had a flash of clambering through the brush up some hillside with my brothers and a handy set of cousins. It was a bit like rabbit hunting, but that wasn't what we were up to. I think we were ambushing a road....
There was a girl I remember seeing (possibly later to become my sweetheart) at the b@anquet. She was a distant cousin and also had red hair. I don't get an 'X' vibe about her (thank goodness!). She had her face in her hands and was crying. She was sitting a little away from everyone, by a fire. I had the feeling perhaps her mother had died. I wanted to go and put my arm around her shoulder and console her, but was too shy.
There's more. I might save it for later.
------------------------------
Just for fun I googled 'old scottish castle' (images) and found this which is exactly what I remember. The photo is taken from almost the same angle on the road where I remember looking at this castle, when we first arrived with all our bags and baggage. But we were still much further away than this, and more round to the 'right', towards the 'front' of the castle. But, in those days there were no roads or flower beds or anything in the foreground. There were lots more trees and green grass on the hillside where a lot of sheep were grazing. It's a big photo, so I'll just post the
link and you can have a look if you're interested. It's Edinburgh Castle.
