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Something unusual

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Busymom

New Member
Hello all--it has been quite a while since I have been here. Just a couple of days ago my youngest son, John, was sitting on the couch and said he was glad he picked me and his dad to be his mom and dad.

It caught me off guard.

Has anybody else experienced a situation like this? I simply told him I was glad he picked us also and went about my cleaning up.

I don't want to interrogate him but I am intrigued by that statement and would like to know more but would I be out of line asking him?

Thanks for any response.
 
It may have honestly just been a child thinking that he picked you. Next time if he speaks about it again, talk him through it a little more and see if he can say any more specific things - the process he went through to pick you out, other memories, etc. It could simply be childhood fantasy and daydreaming, but it could also be something else.
 
It could simply be childhood fantasy and daydreaming...
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Never assume jhskulk. I used to have many "childhood fantasies and daydreams" - but they often involved things far too grown up to be within my actual experience - so, go figure. I think way too often we dismiss what are genuine past life memories as 'fantasies' or 'imagination' when they are nothing of the kind, particularly in children.


But, yes, I agree, without putting any pressure on him, making a huge thing out of it, you could say something like "Oh, yes. I'm glad too. Do you remember why you picked us...?" or something like that and see what he says. A quiet and relaxed time, like a bit before 'sleepy time' or while in the car is a good time for kids to tap into this sort of thing, 'vibe', head-space.


He might come out with a whole story, or not. Some people remember a whole detailed scenario about this 'picking' and planning and deciding process, others - zippo. It depends.
 
I'm not assuming that it is, I'm simply putting it out there as a possibility. It could be a genuine pre-life memory, but it could just as well be a fantasy.


Anyways, yes, I suggest that if he brings it up again, simply say, "what was it like when you picked us?" or something casual and most children will just start to talk about it. Watch and see if he presents it matter-of-factly or if he sounds like he's fantasizing. It's an important thing.
 
Hello Busymom,


We hear often about children who have announced to their parents having had the opportunity to pick or choose them. There are many threads about the topic also on this forum, especially in this children's section that I moved your post to.


It's very comforting to learn your child has specifically chosen you, isn't it? :) I think you can ask him some questions if he brings it up again.


Karoliina
 
my little man, john


I probably would have not paid much attention to his comment if it weren't for the fact he talks about his grandad all the time (who died 8 months before he was born).


When he was younger and about 2 (he's 4 1/2 now) he'd say "me is playing with me" when asked why he was not asleep during the evening. We thought it was just his way of saying "I'm playing". Until we drove by a cemetary and he told us his grandad was dead but it was OK because he comes and talks and plays with him at night.


I don't think that is much of a big deal (contrary to my husband).


Without putting him under a spotlight, could I casually bring the subject up of picking parents/families to him? I had some SERIOUS past life problems with another son two years ago and I'm leary of doing anything that would cause anymore problems.


Thank you all for your input. Parenthood really is a new adventure every day :laugh:
 
The struggle with these things the kids say is usually you're caught off guard, which for me always lends to the authenticity of what they are saying.


I just don't think kids at 2 are capable of making things up, at least not serious things that are not said to get out of trouble.


My son told me about choosing me to be his mommy. He also often said that 'you're the best mommy I've ever had.' He also told me 'the only reason you wanted to be the mommy in this life is so that you could boss me around.'


I've had some serious talks with him about it and told him that I'm glad he chose me and how very lucky we are to have each other. But I've also joked about him choosing me from the mommy store and when he doesn't like one of our rules, I tell him 'well, I guess you'll have to take me back to the mommy store and exchange me.'


I think you're lucky that your children talk to you. They feel comfortable with you and feel close enough to you. I'd say just to stay approachable and maybe don't feel like you have to do anything or say anything specific.


I used to think there was some particular answer or thing to say when your child says these types of things. I knew that whatever it was, it eluded me because I Never felt comfortable in how I handled it.


The truth is that no matter what you say or how you handle it, kids do seem to just grow out of it. They get more grounded in this life and they move on. It appears the life lesson, at least for my son and I, is for him to always know that he can come to me, that with every breath I take I love him more, that I want to hear what he has to say and that I will keep his confidences and not ridicule him or his ideas.


You probably already do this in other areas. Its just that the past life stuff is more surprising and challenging but the basis is the same- trust, openess, safety, knowing their feelings are safe in your heart, knowing they are loved no matter what.


Busy mom, blessings to you. I'm kind of on the other side of it all now. My son is nearly 8 and I still don't know if how I handled it was okay. I'm certanly not an expert but I believe that you will find your way here even if you feel you made a past mistake.


If you feel comfortable sharing what happened with your older son, we're all ears.


Vicky
 
I remember Busymom posting about her other son a couple of years ago. But I'm also interested how things turned out in the end. :)


Karoliina
 
My other son, William


Hello--my other son, William. Yeah, he was the one who I lost weight, hair and I felt part of my mind over. I was having severe problems with him stealing food, lying and talking about things that were so bizarre I was left speechless (he was 6 1/2 at the time then turned 7).


At first I thought he was really imaginative or saw something on TV when we weren't looking (if our TV ever goes out my husband has a BIG job on his hands to get another one). William has always been bright, I have a video tape of him at 24 months singing all of his ABCs, building TALL structures out of blocks, and anything else he could get his hands on, by the time he was 2 1/2 he could write all of his ABCs (upper and lowercase letters and knew them, not just rote memorization), all of his numbers (going to the store was like spending a couple of hours in an auction house, he'd holler out all the numbers he saw in all types of combinations), colors, but was very clingy to me.


His behavior was so bad that for our family's safety we had to have him hospitalized (twice). The second time he was in the hospital, a doctor pointed me in the direction of past life problems carried over into this life. He showed me drawings and had already called me a couple of times worried about the bear and animal traps we had (he was concerned that William would set them for family members). I told him my husband doesn't hunt, can barely swing a hammer so we don't have any traps. The doctor said he is a reenactor of Civil war and early American history and said that William had a detailed knowledge of trapping that only comes with first hand knowledge and had even drawn pictures. That's when it began to get eerie for me.


Anyhow, the doctor told me about how some kids have "triggers" to past life memories and my husband deploying was probably a trigger and the memories/emotions are sometimes not very well handled or processed by a small child. He pointed me in the direction of past life issues with children and then told me if I spoke of that subject with anybody else he would deny the conversation ever took place (although I could understand I thought it was a cop-out).


I ended up going to william's bedside every night when he was so tired he was sorta awake but not moving and lit a candle. I would talk to him, I'd introduce myself to him, tellhim who his family members were, what his name in this life is and would basically tell him his bio. I'd always wrap it up with telling him who he was in this life and that the other lives were over with and in the past and it was time for him to move on.


It honestly took about 2 months to notice a difference but now he's a 100% different kid. He's happy, pleasant, helpful, doesn't steal no matter how bad he wants something. I am the kind of person that calls a spade a spade and I have no shame in telling people that I really felt that William was confused and literally needed to be pointed in the direction of who he is in this life.


So, in a nutshell, that's why I am leary of asking any questions. I don't want to open any doors that are difficult to shut or should have never been opened.


But it does give me a warm fuzzy to be told I was chosen to be my child's mom--that means 6 times I was chosen! you know, when you're kids love you, the world is yours! To think that one is chosen makes having a child and raising them even more special (I think).


Sorry to sound goofy, I hope this makes sense.
 
Busymom, not goofy at all.


I find it interesting that the doctor said that he would refuse to acknowledge he spoke to you about "past lives." Just goes to show what is "correct" and "incorrect" to talk about. Kind of a shame. :(


Anyways, I'm glad William is better! Amazing, the curative powers of past life therapy. ;)
 
jhskulk said:
I find it interesting that the doctor said that he would refuse to acknowledge he spoke to you about "past lives." Just goes to show what is "correct" and "incorrect" to talk about. Kind of a shame. :(
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It's nice to know that some doctors are willing to take pastlife memories into consideration though, but like you said, it's a shame that they feel the need to keep quiet about it.
 
Hi Busymom,


I get the feeling that you wish you hadn't spoken to your son about past lives but it seems that this is what led to him eventually getting better.


Its a tough road especially, when as a mama, you think about all of the things that could be wrong. I worried that my son had psychiatric problems also and in hindsight I'm glad that it was only some temporary past life trauma. You had more severe trouble with your son but I was wondering if you think he would have resolved it on his own without you stepping in to guide him.


I think you are incredibly brave and strong for going through all of that without your husband and all the while having five other kids to take care of.


Vicky
 
I don't know??


Honestly, I don't know if he would have gradually resolved his problems on his own. I truly, truly (from every cell within my physical body) feel he would have ended up one of those kids you see who are constantly in trouble because they have no sense of direction. When he was 23 months, he stopped eating anything but cold cereal (dry), toast and golfish crackers. The pediatrician said it was no big deal, a developmental food strike. After two years of this "food strike" was ridiculous--he wasn't growing and I knew it wasn't healthy for him.


Our fine HMO referred us to a food specialist who told us we'd have to force feed him (just the thought of it brought me to tears) and my husband only tried it once (he said it was tantamount to rape with food). We would sit at the table for quite some time trying to get him to just taste the different foods and after a year it finally worked. He is still a picky eater but he is compliant for just two bites.


I think had we not had the "non-traditional" intervention for him, he would have ended up in juvenile. He was putting knives completely through walls (having them come out the other side of the wall), setting fires, stealing LOTS of food and hiding it all over the house and especially in his room, destroying things for reasons we still do not know.


Even with all of those horrible times, I am glad for the experience. My husband and I used to joke around about reincarnation because William had never gotten along with his sister. We used to joke and say they must have been a married couple and she divorced him and got all the goods. Now we still joke around but we can't help but wonder.


The experience has made me a more conscientious (sp?) parent. I am very particular in how I phrase things, take more time to show and explain things and always, always tell my kids that I love them and hug them no matter what they do that I might not approve of and praise them for what they endeavor to do.


Anyhow, I don't care if people think I am weird when the subject of reincaration is brought up. When he was 3 and we were playing in the rain puddles he told me I was nicer than his other mom and when I corrected him that I was his mom, he said no, my other mom before you. How can someone argue with that as being a real experience? And all of his problems (including bedwetting) disappearing within a matter of months after talking to him every night?
 
thinking 100MPH


I've spent the past while reading other posts and it has really made me think a lot about William.


I think, looking back, William arrived with baggage. Before he was born I had a dream his hand was at the top of his head, like a rooster's comb, not at the end of his arm. When he was born, the nurse (who was examining me) and my husband literally ran out of the room shouting for my midwife. I reached down and he grabbed my finger. His right arm was completely out of the birth canal, held tightly in place by the umbilical cord (which was a good thing other wise he would have choked to death before birth).


OF course, I remembered my dream and was hysterical (before he came out). But I remember someone was standing to my right hand side (who was not of this earth) and this person was so calm and told me it was going to be OK. The feeling of love I got was surreal--it was literally warming.


Thankfully he turned out OK but out of all my kids, he's the only one with dark hair, dark eyes. The rest are all blond. He was always serious, clingy, ate non stop, he'd even want to nurse after being so full he'd throw up. He never slept through the night until he was almost 3, and when he did fall asleep, he'd have nightmares. He was very advanced for his age and many, many arguements would break out with him and his older brother (who was 5 1/2 years older than William) over his older brother's homework. William was just 3 but correcting his brother's homework (and would be right). Food problems, even the way he sleeps. No matter how cold it is outside, he won't cover up. He used to say it was uncomfortable and now how he "had" to sleep.


I now think that some kids come to this world with problems that are not resolved within the time that they spend between lives doing whatever they do. As a former preschool teacher, I sometimes think about some of my kids and wonder if I approached their issues differently, would it have helped that kid.


My personal motto is "every day is an adventure" and since being introduced (seriously) to reincarnation, things have a different view for me that seem natural and I actually feel more comfortable in MY life.
 
Thanks for sharing, Busymom. It sounds like your family has been through a lot, but I'm glad to hear everything's much better now. :thumbsup:


You sound like a wonderful parent and your children are happy to have you as their mom. Keep up the good work! It really sounds like William had many issues being born to this life. It's great you handled it so well. :)


Karoliina
 
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