Strong memory

[glia21]

Hi Folks,
I 've not been writing a lot these days, partly due to my super-slow computer (that I've replaced in the meantime) and partly due to work & family. Anyway, I've been reading some threads now and then and since I'm at home today with some spare time and a broken toe I want to ask if any of you has a situation like mine; We´ve discussed it before, but nevertheless, it is bothering me quite a bit right now. I have three Kids, one son and two daughters. Ever since my older daughter was Born I've had a Deep Feeling of familiarity, but with different roles. I remember her being my girlfriend in a not so distant past. I remember I was her boyfriend. To me it is clear as day. She doesn´t believe in reincarnation a bit and of Course I never told her and never will. I`m Aware of this Memory flashes since she was a year old. It is the way she moves, the Expression in her eyes, the behavior (also how much she resists cleaning up her room and such). It is a tender Feeling. After she was Born I was truely happy (and still am) and so very irrationally proud and honored to "have her back" and to be able to spend time with her. But now I´m her mom. Some of you might remember being female is a challenge to me by itself. I´ve decided to try to fit in but still act naturally and I sometimes Forget I´m female at all. It´s still difficult and I´m better of not thinking to deeply About it.
The Thing is, I feel like 'm not a mother to her. And I sometimes struggle to act like one and then it feels artificial and not natural. We do get along fine, we do hug each other frquently, but there is Always a bit of mystery between us, this Little something I don´t wish to talk About and that she might sense but ignores.

I´m happy About any comment because I feel a Little uneasy About all this.

 

[Jaimie]

Hi Glia21 !

Thanks for having the guts to share this with us. The only reference I can make is that it is sometimes at the tip of my tongue to tell a recognized soul mate/s who they were in my past life, but I never do. One sees them as both at times and then try to block it out too at times. One can be surprised. Amused. Those little things that are the same. One can fall back in old roles.

When my friends became mothers I saw the unnecessary stress they were going through with the demands from others and the insecurity within themselves wanting to be the best mom there was. I think if one learns to relax and not live under unrealistic high demands of what a best, good mom is, it will be better both for the mom and the child, and the more natural. All I know is that I love my child and my child loves me. We most likely have been together in all kinds of ways in past lives.

The way you describe it is that you recognized your daughter, early on, to have been your past life girlfriend, so you are used to seeing her as both, which is then probably why you don't feel 100% as if you are her mother, on top of that feeling more like a man on the inside and trying to pass. Even if she does not believe in reincarnation she can still on a soul level recognize you and see you as a man, for instance. I guess what I wish to say is that in the long run I don't think it matters, love is love.

/Jaimie

 

[landsend]

I have similar feelings but different people, namely my present mother being my past mother (same role but that doesn’t make it ‘easier’ if that makes sense). She does not like me as a man, and has tried to make me into something acceptable to her. Old habits die hard.
My inbox is always open to you if you wanna chat or vent.

 

[glia21]

Thank you very much for your input. Its good to hear about different experiences, points of view and how you feel about it.
Jaimie, I suppose you are right, love is all there is... and all that matters in the end.
Landsend, I surely appreciate your offer.

 

[KenJ]

I'm glad to talk with you publicly. I've missed our conversations.

 

[glia21]

Ken, I missed them too. I just have really Little spare time. But you got me worried About your Health btw. Hope you are doing ok...

Well, back to my Topic; I guess my role as mum is just as real and valid as my other one as boyfriend. They are equally true. Of Course, considering this switch, being mum might be an easier Task than being dad I suppose… I came to read Andy Weirs "The Egg" once again . It's really shifting your perspective even if I don't fully agree with the Picture.

Lately another Thing that's bothering me is, since I haven´t remembered much the last months, I start to doubt Things again, I´m insecure About what's fact - what's fiction. The last clear Thing I (think I) remember on a time line is Nixon running for governor in California in 62.
I´m not sure About anything beyond that date. I'd thought I had died in 69 but it might have been earlier? I do not remember any conversation beyond 62, but I remember the Music - which I could have picked up elsewhere or Maybe even in another life time.

I'd really love to meet someone wise, talk to face to face and have that Person tell me the truth. I could handle it OK if I got told I'm wrong. I cannot deal with the insecurity and the Scenes, Flash backs, deja vus that Pop up occasially all my life.
(Sorry for the capital letters - new Computer)

 

[KenJ]

Sorry to have caused a problem, Terri is posting for me now. My guides are not speaking to me, and I've not been able to communicate with them.

 

[landsend]

Ken, I missed them too. I just have really Little spare time. But you got me worried About your Health btw. Hope you are doing ok...

Well, back to my Topic; I guess my role as mum is just as real and valid as my other one as boyfriend. They are equally true. Of Course, considering this switch, being mum might be an easier Task than being dad I suppose… I came to read Andy Weirs "The Egg" once again . It's really shifting your perspective even if I don't fully agree with the Picture.

Lately another Thing that's bothering me is, since I haven´t remembered much the last months, I start to doubt Things again, I´m insecure About what's fact - what's fiction. The last clear Thing I (think I) remember on a time line is Nixon running for governor in California in 62.
I´m not sure About anything beyond that date. I'd thought I had died in 69 but it might have been earlier? I do not remember any conversation beyond 62, but I remember the Music - which I could have picked up elsewhere or Maybe even in another life time.

I'd really love to meet someone wise, talk to face to face and have that Person tell me the truth. I could handle it OK if I got told I'm wrong. I cannot deal with the insecurity and the Scenes, Flash backs, deja vus that Pop up occasially all my life.
(Sorry for the capital letters - new Computer)

I feel the same Glia, as you know I have the same uncertainty about what happened to Terry. It's a kind of torture to live with -- but I do believe you will know the truth! Your past family are excavating the remains (as per the article I sent you) and hopefully that might lead to a full investigation and you shall have -some- answers. I'm praying for you, for us, and I personally won't give up till I have answers.