Talking to Dead People......

[dking777]

The whole "Jolly Green Giant" jokes wore thin after a short amount of time. I was the tallest kid in my class after that. Took all the rest of them awhile to catch up to me. Because of the reaction I received after that at school and all the questions being thrown at me I swore out a vow of silence. I didn't know how to explain my medical condition. It had been a 'family secret' for years. The only way I could keep that medical condition a secret - was to keep my mouth closed, which I did.


One day I was a boy and quite literally, the next day I was a young man. I got a job and a few months later, I was earning more money than both my parents combined. My income was paying the bills, keeping a roof over my families head, and putting food on the table.


Years later at the age of 18, I still looked like I did the day I got out of bed at the age of 15. When I was 28, people were still telling me I didn't look a day over 15. When people asked me why I would tell them,


"When I was 15, I was touched by the hand of God - and his touch put a freeze on me that hasn't thawed out."


The Doctors had told my family that nothing short of a miracle would keep me alive though my adolescence stage. My family started praying for that miracle when I was very young. When I was 15, that miracle came to pass. My parents and friends knew enough not to ridicule or mock the handy work of a divine hand. I made that vow of silence to keep from telling them anything that would cause them any harm when they crossed over to the other side. Because there on the other side, I knew they would come to know the truth of what happened to cause me to grow like I did. I didn't want my classmates looking back on that period in their lives and regretting their ridicule, teasing and mockery. In the end, I felt they would look back on it in eternity and thank me for the 'vow of silence' I had taken on - and understand why I chose to keep to myself during that hibernation period when I slept with the polar bears.


Oh yeah, I can recall my favorite class in High School. Study hall. I didn't have to worry about teachers dropping books by my desk to wake me from my slumber. That desk was my favorite bed in High School.


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[dking777]

If other people were shocked by the sudden and rapid change in my physical appearance - they were not alone.


I can recall stumbling into the bathroom late at night, and glancing into the mirror as I passed - only to start screaming at the top of my lungs by the sight of a strange man staring back at me in the privacy of the bathroom.


I didn't stick around to ask questions. I ran to my Mom's bedroom and woke her up telling her there was a strange man in the bathroom. Of course, we got a good laugh together when I figured out - that was how I looked now. My Mom told me the story after my amnesia. She would always say,


"We had ourselves a good laugh that night, and then we had ourselves a good cry. A cry that was many years in the coming. I felt I had lost my little boy, but my little boy came back to me and allowed me a chance to say good-bye to him. That was the last time you ever let me hug you. That was a very special night for me. I hope you remember it some day."


Have I had a weird life? Oh yeah. I wouldn't change a minute of it.


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[dking777]

Ah, I do understand what you're talking about in regards to that emotional knowing. It's on a whole 'nother level, for sure. I suppose I've always been tapped into that stable feeling and relied on it even more through all the emotional turmoil, even though I didn't have a clue about past lives.

I look back in hindsight and feel that I was trying to do my own research from the age of 17 to 22 from an adult perspective. I had sort of wiped the slate clean of 'ideas' that had been put into my head about reincarnation from my childhood. I can recall the time I met the 'hitchhiker' and all the conclusions I felt I had drawn from that experience - plus what other experiences I did have limited sight of.


I felt it was the 'emotional' thread that was running in the undertow - sort of like a hidden stream. The past life details were gone - and I was trying to determine if I needed to chase after them in order to 're-gain' some sort of perspective that would put me ahead of the game.


My conclusion was - I felt it was the 'emotional theme' or thread, or stream was the relevant factor involved. I would often ask people to define or describe 'emotion.' What is it, where does it come from and how do you really control it? I still don't think I have a good 'dictionary' definition of what 'emotion' is - as it is related to the 'metaphysical' side of life.


I felt the most important thing was handling the 'emotion' that flowed through you in the current moment - and to have some sort of power and control over it - rather than it having power and control over you. Especially the 'negative emotions' that came flowing at times.


When Mama2HRB asked about a teacher calling on me in HS, there was an overwhelming emotional response going off in me. I am at a stage in my life where I can examine all the details and determine the situation that led to that emotion being a part of me and how I react to that thought. It is only because I have everything so close to the surface now - that I can examine that emotion again and figure out where it comes from and why. Now, I just examine out of curiosity.


I think that is true of 'past life' recall as well. I always looked at the flow of 'love, joy, verses sadness and anger.' The negative and positive aspects of emotions are what I feel flows over from one life to the next - and what I feel is importnt to work upon through each life to bring about a positive flow of 'joy and love' verses 'sadness or anger.' I don't think it is possible to eliminate sadness and anger from a persons life - but I do feel we control our reaction to it. What habit I developed (or have had developed) in past lives leading up to my current life - is what I am going to pass on to the next human incarnation that inherits my soul. The emotions will flow as they have always flowed, but what makes a difference (in my opinion) is how we mentally react to emotions.


Like when someone you know dies. You can't immune yourself to the flow of sadness, grief and anger that is going to flow into your life. The skills (or lessons)I feel that are important from one life to the next - is the reaction to these type of emotions. They can either be harnessed to lift you up - or they can drag you down. I fell that is the 'skill' level that gets passed on to the next incarnation.


That was the impression after meeting the the driver while hitchhiking (when we both felt a past life association with one another was hidden in the undertow.) I still feel pretty much the same way all these years later.


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[dking777]

My ex had a photographic memory. It was amazing. Sadly he fried it with a cocaine addiction.

I don't know that I have 'fried' it for myself. Strange but it isn't something I current have access to. I was told to keep that sort of thing 'hidden' away and not let people know I had access to it. It was utilized a great deal from 1980 to 1985. It was sort of like a 'tool' that got put away in the wood shed - and then - so much stuff has gotten piled on top of it - I don't know where it is located. I had to learn to live without it after 1985 (to keep some secrets safe) and I got so used to being without - I don't recall what it was really like to do it.


To me, I recall thinking 'photographic' was sort of misleading. I even had a long discussion with the profession who was making that assessment. It wasn't like a photo album or short movie in my head.


I can recall trying to tell him it was a 'spiritual thing.' Of course, in 1980 it wasn't something I would elaborate on in depth or detail. It came from being outside of my physical body so many times and the 'kangaroo' in the pouch. I was one thing and my spirit was another. I knew my spirit had a vast range of intelligence and capabilities beyond anything I had at my disposal as a mere mortal human. So, if anyone associated the 'mind' with the brain sort of thing - that was beyond me. My brain (as far as my mind was concerned) was not capable of reproducing vivid images like a photograph.


As a child, I felt my 'spirit' was a lazy 'tag-along.' I was the one having to put up with the pain. So, I thought I was going to make my 'lazy' spirit tag along - earn it's keep with me. So, when I was walking to class one day, I flipped thought the book and told me 'spirit' -- remember this for me. "When I ask for the answers - give them to me." That is how I thought it worked. Who I was inside my body and who I was outside my body was two different people in my young mind. I learned how to 'instruct' my spirit and put that 'thing' to work for me.


I can recall trying to fine tune this in 3rd grade. I can recall the teacher handing us a long test form. I watched other scratching their heads, and concentrating hard. I just said,


"Okay, I am going down the list. Shout the answers out to me."


I flew though that test in five minutes. The teacher had said when we finished we could lay our heads down and take a nap if we wanted. I tried to talk to a teacher about the process I was going through internally. I didn't call it the 'spirit' back then. I called it the 'inside me' verses the 'outside me.'


"The inside me is way smarter than the outside me. When it comes to taking tests, I just lay that sort of thing at the feet of the inside me. That one just sort of whispers the answers into my mind and hear it."


I know that my 3rd grade teacher tested me. She handed me a test on questions from a higher class and didn't show me a text book the questions were based on. I couldn't get a 'word' out of my spirit about the answers. I had to have the 'text' shown to me outwardly before I could access that information from the spirit. My teacher just felt I had a 'childish' way of understanding our 'memory' worked and my own way of trying to comprehend it in my own mind. My teachers always thought it was 'cute and funny' that I looked at it that way. They always assured me that I wasn't cheating.


The saying, "You have a brain, use it," made no sense to me. The brain or 'organic matter' within the head was a material mass I could examine while outside my body. My 'brain' wasn't jumping outside of my body during the NDE's. I remember one classmate asking me to help then with study. I can recall them saying, "I can't wrap my brain around it." I told them, "Maybe that is your problem. Stop trying to use that thing to get your answers."


continued...................

 

[Mere Dreamer]

The saying, "You have a brain, use it," made no sense to me. The brain or 'organic matter' within the head was a material mass I could examine while outside my body. My 'brain' wasn't jumping outside of my body during the NDE's. I remember one classmate asking me to help then with study. I can recall them saying, "I can't wrap my brain around it." I told them, "Maybe that is your problem. Stop trying to use that thing to get your answers."
continued...................

LOL Oh, that's great! Maybe I should tell my kids this next time they complain about school.


Interesting thought, though. *considers* It is not when I am studying but rather when I am completely absorbed in understanding something that I "learn" the most. The result is rarely structured unless someone drops a line into conversation. Then, like those salt experiments where you drop in a thread, what I have learned consolidates on the spot. It always feels a bit like someone else is speaking, because I'm usually just as surprised at what I'm saying as the person listening, though it's usually recognizable as something that has been circulating. I tell my friends I need them in order to learn what I think.


I only remember the important things, though ... which is rarely names and dates. Oh, how I dislike history for that reason. People so rarely share or ask about the relationships between historical figures or why their lives were meaningful.

I had to have the 'text' shown to me outwardly before I could access that information from the spirit.

This ties in with something my inner voice informed me of a couple years ago. I was trying to get advice, and s/he finally said, "We can only teach you what you already know." With the subtext that I have to make room for new information by gathering enough ideas together so they can come together in ways that are closer to the truth than not. It's like s/he is creating a collage of something I haven't seen out of the scraps I make available by noticing them in life, and if the right "colors and shapes" aren't there then I'm out of luck until I experience something that's close enough to make the outline clearer.


Does this sound similar to your experience?

 

[Mama2HRB]

My ex told me that to access the information he would be shown the exact page and then see whatever it was that he was looking for on that page. I don't have that ability.


I do, however, agree that it is easiest to learn when it makes sense. Those are also the lessons that stick with me. In other words, don't just give me a list of things, tell me why. Tell me the back story.


That also worked with raising my daughters. I am the only sibling that did not hit their children. Instead, I would tell them why they shouldn't do something and what happens.


For instance, please don't jump on Grandma's couch. If you jump on it you will break the couch. Grandma doesn't have the money to buy a new one so she won't have a couch if you break it.


It always elicited an apology and the behavior wasn't repeated. My siblings would just yell and smack. Some of the kids still jump on the couch. It infuriates me.

 

[Mama2HRB]

I watched the pain both of my daughters went through with their growth spurts and it was terrible. The doctors said it was that the tendons couldn't keep pace with the growth of the bones. "Growing pains" is what they called it.


I can't begin to imagine the depth of your pain as you went through a growth burst like that.


Even more so the emotional pain the kids put you through when you returned to school. Kids can be awful.


I am sorry you had to experience this pain, dking. Thank you for sharing this with us.

 

[dking777]

Even more so the emotional pain the kids put you through when you returned to school. Kids can be awful.

You know, I never blamed the fellow students. They were not given the chance to know me. When I think about it, where did I get the idea to plant a scary idea into the bullies head and watch him run wild with his imagination. My parents. When they found out that I was 'out of the closet' at my Junior High, another Junior High, three High School and a college - they freaked out and started running. They didn't calm down to hear a word I said until we had moved 600 miles away.


When the 'sexual development' started - I felt it was directly related to reincarnation. I went around asking everyone questions because I felt that 'built in' instinct from past life experiences. When my parents asked me why I didn't come to them - I told them, "You told me not to talk to you about anything if it involved past lives."


The main focus of my questions during that 'survey' period was, 'do you feel that your name was written on someone's else's heart before you was born - and that your someone's name was written on your heart - and do you walk with a deep desire and longing to meet them?"


I not only talked to 'teenagers' - I spoke with teachers and counselors within the schools about the 'whole sex thing' that was hitting us and driving us bananas.


When I met the soul mate in 6th grade - it was in the hallway between classes. We were surrounded by fellow students and they all shared in the moment of our meeting. The world stopped for the both of us. I was 'brand new' to that school and it had been my first day. Everyone was 'curious' what happened to us and why we both were looking at one another like we were.


"Mom, it was on the grapevine. From the first day I started school there, it was being talked about. I just went around to see what people thought about and to get their advise on it. NO one gave me bad advise. I told them I was looking for advise from their heart and not their heads. They stuck to that for me."


I felt I had past lives. I knew three of my classmates I had past lives directly. After word spread on the grapevine that the 'moment of meeting' was past life related, I had classmates approaching me and telling me how they had 'feelings' and 'ideas' they too had lived before.


When we moved, I was banned from talking to anyone at school about past lives or - any type of sexual development.


After the fights with the bullies - one classmate followed me after school on the walk home and told me that there was pletny of 'classmate' looking to be my friends. I told him,


"Run away from me as fast as you can. It is advise you may not understand now, but in the long run, you will thank me for it."


I told him that I am house, I was locked in a cage with a lion and lioness - and a chair in one hand and a whip in the other.


"I just wish my Momma was like them fools running around messing themselves. It would be easier to clean up her mess that way. She has done made a mess of herself and she thinks she is a lioness and I am her cub - and people of all ages, shapes and sizes are out to hurt."


continued.............

 

[dking777]

I couldn't make any friends at school, unless I brought them home and introduced them to her first. I would get met at the door and 'grilled' about who I had talked to at school and what had we talked about. I couldn't lie to my Mother so, I just got in the habit of saying, "Nothing and nobody," and that would end the 'grilling process.'


In the other schools, there had been 'boys' out to take advantage of me for it. My peers' had advised me about those who would try and take advantage of me for it. Them boys changed their tune and their minds when they walked away from me with two black eyes.


"Mom, if you just back to my old schools and talked to them boys, you would know I put out the word quick, I ain't that kind of guy. I don't need you fighting my fights for me. What would people think of me then?"


My Mom was a very beautiful woman - and as a teenager - she was known as a fighter. My uncles told me she was like Ellie Mae Clampet. One Uncle told me, "You have no idea how many I had to pull you Momma off some poor fool she would have down on the ground in a head lock - beating the tar out of him."


"Mom, you done had your fights. Leave me to mine. I don't need you to put no fool in a head lock and beat the tar out of him for trying to take advantage of me."


I told that classmate that day, "I done looked around this school to see if any of you could take her on and beat her at her own game. You poor boys would be nothing but a lamb chop to her at her game. If I find one of you strong enough to take her on one on one, I will let ya'll know and we will pave new ground with it. Until stay clear of her by avoiding me."


It took me two years to calm her down enough and find someone I felt could take her on - one on one and stand their ground with her. He wasn't from my school. He was from another High School. He went a long way to helping me calm her down and tame her down some more about the subject matter.


When I look back on that period now - as an adult and compare the advise I got from my parents and the advise I got from my peers as teeangers - I feel - I got the same advise just in a different way. As kids, we came up the the 'metaphor' that there were 'higher minds of understanding' and there where 'lower minds of understanding.' There was a fine line between 'lust' and 'love' and the battle zone was trying to figure out exactly where that line was. (This was something a 14 year old classmate told me.)


My classmates at the old school drew a picture of their understanding and it didn't take me long to figure out 'lust' had something to do with this one particular invisible critter I kept seeing on the playground. I had 'sixth sense' and 'second sight.' This is what created the 'explosion.' My peers were running home telling their parents that I could see 'demons' at work on the schoolyard. I was being brought home to talk to my classmates parents. They took me seriously when I talked about the 'invisible beings' I witnessed lurking around all the school yards.


The parents and classmates were not treating me like an 'outcast.' I was being treated like royalty. The other parents wanted to talk to my parents about it but - I felt it had everything to do with 'reincarnation' and I knew it had everything to do with me 'seeing things' other people couldn't see.


continued...........

 

[dking777]

I was brought to the various locker rooms of the schools for the football teams. Why? Because the coaches took my testimony seriously. They wanted to know if any of their players were tangled up with that 'critter of lust' and feeding them. All I had to do was walk about and 'smell' the football players. If they had been 'feeding that critter' then there would be that stench on them. If I pointed someone out who had that stench on them. The coach would ask me if I knew exactly how he got that stench on him, then I would do a 'spiritual probe' and have a 'spiritual voice' whisper that secret in my ear.


"He stole a girls virginity with no intention other than his own selfish pleasure."


He would get kicked off the team for that. When I asked the coach why, he said one rotten apple in the barrel would ruin the others. The coaches felt they were picking out the elite in the school to set a proper example for the rest of the school. That was looked upon as 'conduct unbecoming of a gentlemen." That sort of thing was not to be boasted about or looked upon as a 'great thing' in our society - and there was a trend that was leading many a young mind astray about that. They felt we needed to combat that sort of attitude, when, where and how we could. To me, it as a battle against those 'nasty critters' putting stupid ideas in young' peoples head.


My Mom was too busy running around 'messing' herself to listen to what I was telling her about all the 'good' people felt was coming from my 'abilities.'


So in the old school - my peers looked at me as some sort of 'spiritual guide' to them. I was never treated like an outcast or throwaway. So, when things came down to what they did, I felt my place in the new High School was to take the 'vow of silence' and pray for my classmate that they would find the guidance they needed in life to get the insights my former classmates from the old school said they felt they had received for me.


I felt who ever that 'other guide' was needed my help by giving 'silent prayers' to strengthen him in his battle against those 'nasty and ugly invisible critters' plaguing our schoolyards.


This was another area that the G-men were investigating when they went back to my schools and talk to the people who were there when I did the things I did.


This is the story that came out in 1980 when I spoke to the 'government officials' and the reason why I took the vow of silence in the HS I attended.


I had to give my Mom room and time to figure things out for herself.


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[dking777]

When I look back on that period now - my Mom and Dad couldn't figure out why I had generated so much excitement among my peers - unless - I was going to those locker rooms for the 'wrong reason.' (Like I said, my parents felt they had a human head fly staring them in the face and didn't stick around to find out the real details.)


When I looked back on it now - the fever that caught hold and spread like wild fire - was the hope for, the dream of and the quest for 'true love.' That was the common denominator between us all - and is the glue that bonded my peers and I on the same quest.


What was proper, what was right, what was good, what was wrong - how do you keep yourself pure and un-ashamed so you would 'save' yourself for the true love instead of giving your self over to a 'fool's gold' or 'fool's folly' in the process. When was it right to hold hands, kiss, put a touch - here, there - somewhere - and what would be considered going all the way with it.


Something I found out for myself during my year long survey period, which I think I had validated with someone else's research and study since then.


I went around asking the girls - what they were looking for in 'true love.' They were more materially ground as far as my mind was concerned - with security, a provider, and family. A good father for their children would be a priority in that survey.


In my opinion after talking to hundreds of teenagers candidly, openingly and honestly - I felt guys were the true romantics at heart. My questions were always shaped in multiply choice. How important is --- such and such to you?


Very important, Somewhat important, So-So, somewhat unimportant, or very important.


I thought it was strange how guys were out to project a macho image outwardly, but deep in their hearts - they were the one's who held the mystery and excitement of true love - as very important. On the outside, guys appeared one way, but inside - they were the exact opposite. Same for the girls. Outside, they were one thing, but inside, they were a whole different thing.


I was looked at as a 'neutral' in the battle of the sexes during that stage. I was working the line on both sides and trying to help both sides - in an effort to battle those 'invisible critters.'


When them girls opened up and where honest with me - oh brother, I got my ears full of some of those feminine secrets them girls were keeping hidden from the boys during that stage.


But at that stage in my own quest, I felt that was a significant part of reincarnation. Life time after life time, I felt we were born into this world with a very important quest hidden away in our hearts - and that quest was focused on 'walking through the mine fields' laid out in all Junior High's across the world in an effort to get through that with 'true love' as our guide.


It took me awhile to calm my parents down and get them to change their own 'diapers' (metaphorically) and listen to what I was trying to tell them about all that 'excitement' that had been generated.


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[dking777]

Does this sound similar to your experience?

I sort of find it hard to express the 'spirit guide' thing. I had various ones through different stages. The one that was central and the most important to me - would be the one many might refer to as the 'over-soul.' This one is the one I had to bow my knee to - whether in the body - or out of the body. The others, there wasn't necessarily that 'knee-bending' process to get my attention. (If they came bearing a message from this one, I would bend my knee. But it would have to be a direct message and not a mention of that One in a spiritual tone.)


The first memory I have of that One was when I was around 3 or 4. That was the stage in human life where your asking your parents, "Why is the sky blue?" When I was four this "One" didn't come to me speaking English as much as it spoke to me in a 'silent' and very intense 'language of home.' That just radiated a sense of peace, joy and serinity. Which was great, but didn't do much for the questions like 'why is the sky blue?'


I have a memory of an encounter with this One while I was fully awake in sort of a vision type process around the age of 20. It wasn't during an 'out of body' thing or a 'near-death experience.' This sort of encounter was very rare as an adult. So, it made a dramatic impact on my young adult mind.


I wasn't wasting my time and asking what I thought of as foolish questions. I was asking what I thought was very relative and important questions related to religion and spirituality. (I has asking about that whole Jesus thing going on around the world.) How does an adult answer the question of why the sky is blue when it is talking to an immature or inexperienced mind? Is a child's mind going to grasp the scientific explanation for why that color is bounced around over our heads?


What I was told was, "The answers and knowledge you seek from me, you already have." This didn't make no sense to me. If I had the answers and knowledge, why would I waste valuable time in a rare and exceptional occurrence with a vision with someone I knew had all the answers and all the knowledge. I asked, "If I have it, where is it. Why can't I bring it to mind then. Why is it being kept from me."


I was told, "Because you have hidden it in your future."


I was being told that this "One" could only express 'truths' that were relevant and important to me in the present moment of time. I had to uncover the 'hidden knowledge' in a sequence of experiences that would bring the knowledge to the conscious mind. I was being told that it was by design that the 'experiences' were what would being the 'pieces' of the puzzle together in my mind. There was path laid out for my 'by design' and I would only be able to access that 'hidden knowledge' through worldly experiences.


Bringing in 'reincarnation' (because this was another important topic I was trying to get this "Over-soul" One to give me the direct truth on), I was being told, "Prior to your presence here in this world, you had a hand in the design of your experiences. They are tied into when, where and how truth and that which is true will be revealed to you."


I got a chucked and deep laugh out of this "One" when I said, "I wish I could crawl back in time and find myself standing in line to get into this world - so I can kick some sense in me about this - and get some answers to me quicker that what I have done to myself."


The saying I related to after that was, "when the student is ready, the teacher would appear." The 'teacher' was a broad spectrum of circumstances and worldly experiences. When the lesson was 'ripe' then - the experience would come into play and draw the knowledge into my conscious mind.


That is the impression I got of it after that 'vision' when I was 20. I asked how was I to cope with all my confusion until them. I was told, "Patience."


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[dking777]

It is strange and unusual for me as an adult to have vivid recall like this. Mentioning the question that many children all of the world ask, 'why is the sky blue' - brought back memories of the many times I asked this question as a young tot. I always had an inquisitive mind as a child. I wouldn't just ask one person a question and drop it. I would repeat the question and ask as many adults as I could. (This may be something all children do as well.)


I can recall what one of my Uncle's told me,


"Why is the sky blue? Well, because it is blue, that is why. What a fool question to ask."


My Mom said, "Because that is the color God made it."


It seemed every adult or grown up I asked had a different explanation for it. My Dad is the one who went though the length of trying to explain the scientific cause - which just led to more questions and he grew tired of the 20 questions. I didn't just ask why was it blue. I wanted to know why sometimes it was blue, sometimes it was grey and sometimes it was black.


As a child, my mind was never able to grasp anything anyone said to me about that. It wasn't until I got to grade school and through many experiences - I was finally able to grasp the truth behind why the sky appeared blue in our eyes at times and other times it was grey.


But this sort of ties into my last post with the 'over-soul' because it was my Grandmother who said,


"They will teach you that when you get into school."


"When are they going to teach me that stuff, so I know things like that?"


"In the future. Just enjoy your days with me until then, because I will not get to spend time with you like I do now. You will be to busy learning those sort of things."


That is sort of how I look back on me at the age of 20, asking the "over-soul" the sort of questions I asked. I was asking childish questions about very deep mystical matters, which, my mind was not prepared to comprehend yet.


And that is exactly what this "Over-soul" of mine said as well.


"Just try and enjoy our visits together here and now, because in your future, we will not have this kind of opportunity. You will be too busy learning the lessons you need to learn to get the answers your seeking."


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[Mama2HRB]

To me it is just so weird that your parents forced you to come out to all the parents. What did they think you were gonna do? Turn someone who was straight?


The boys that you connected with, did they consider themselves straight or gay? Or, was this a case of "on the down low"?


Oh, and your Grandmother was a very smart woman. Enjoy childhood before school, that time is fleeting ...

 

[Mere Dreamer]

"Just try and enjoy our visits together here and now, because in your future, we will not have this kind of opportunity. You will be too busy learning the lessons you need to learn to get the answers your seeking."

Well, that is quite similar to what mine tells me also. Seeing you write it out here brought tears to my eyes. I'm trying to figure out if it's relief or irritation. Maybe it's just *this is important* and I know it already, much as it annoys me during the disconnect, so my heart echoes back the confidence.


There are a few things I'd like to understand already, because I think understanding them would help me get to the point where they are useful. *sighs* Of course, things always end up rolling out properly anyway, looking back. At least now I have enough experience of it to know it practically and not just wishfully.

 

[dking777]

That incident when I was 4 year old (actually the latter part of 3) was another 'buoy' or 'marker' that was put into place after the mental dam was constructed and amnesia came. I tried to descibe the memory I had sight of to my Mom and she couldn't believe I could recall details of that day. I could desribe the house, the yard and an aluminum building that was across the street. She knew the address. I told her I got the impression I was speaking to someone in the front. Her reply was,


"Oh my gawd, not the albino again. You had an imaginary friend when we lived at that house. The way you described that imaginary friend always made me think of an albino. You made me think you was actually talking to an adult in the front yard all the time. I had the neighbors and myself on the hunt for some albino man roaming the neighborhood talking to little children trying to talk them into coming to live with him."


As a child, I didn't call him albino. I called him the rainbow man. I had tried to tell my Mom the relationship I had with this one - and why I was 'going' to live with this one some day. When she asked what relationship I thought I had with him - the word 'so' came out. My Mom could never figure that out. The word I was trying to tell her was 'soul.'


"In the world in which you now live the word many us for the relationship you and I share - is soul."


When my NDE's started occurring at the age of six - this is the One who would greet me and escort me back to the light. Of course, my Mom was horrified to think some 'albino' had sparked my imagination to create some 'wild fantasy' about a 'molester' trying to lure me off to live with him.


It was the part of me (as there is a part in all of us) that never leaves heaven. Is was that day when I asked for the name of the 'divine creator' and was told,


"There is one name and there are many. The one and the many are one and the same."


I felt that sort of thing applied to this "One" as well.


Looking back on that day - there is no worldly words to describe what happened to me during those 'encounters.' The word for what was coming to me was sort of 'divine or eternal knowledge.' I felt this was what was being hidden away of the 'undertow' of my 'unconscious mind.' As the years progress and I tried to look back on it - and study it through the 'reincarnation' years (age 7 to age 14) I felt this was 'knowledge' that had been 'gained' (or earned) through past life experiences.


The guides I worked with during this time always made mention of 'pre-birth' existence and say, "You had a hand in choosing this for yourself." This mainly pertained to the 'medical condition.' Everyone was struggling to find a cure for it and I felt I had 'foolish' advise coming to me from angels trying to convince my young childish mind - that I had a hand in planning this for myself. Trust me, that didn't sit right in my mind as a child.


So, when I had one of my last 'vivid' encounter or visions with the 'Rainbow man' and I was being told that 'knowledge' was hidden away in my future - once again, I was being told that prior to being born - I had a direct hand in hiding in the future - at the exact spot, locations or people that was meant to be hidden away with.


It was during this time that I was talking to some young friends about reincarnation and when they asked me for my opinion about what reincarnation was about based on what little I knew about it - I told them,


continued............

 

[dking777]

"I think it is an Easter egg hunt. It is like we have sight of a big field and hide treasures in it - then to make it hard on ourselves - we wrap a dang blindfold around us and stumble around like fools in the dark trying to find something we done hid from our own selves to find. It may be funny when we get to the other side and take the blindfold off and look at home movies God is taking of us stumbling around in the dark trying to find the treasures we hid from our own selves. It may be funny then, but it ain't too dang funny now. I think it would be better to just take this dang blindfold off and get to it."


I told my friends, "If you are meant to find the hidden treasure of knowledge and truth in your lifetime - your going to find it. Because your the one who hid it in the first place. On the other side, we are just like a bunch of kids playing a silly game with ourselves."


That is how I thought of reincarnation after that encounter with the "Over-soul" of myself at the age of 20.


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[dking777]

To me it is just so weird that your parents forced you to come out to all the parents. What did they think you were gonna do? Turn someone who was straight?

No, there was two cities involved. Maybe I should just use the States involved. The first one was Arkansas. The second one was Texas. In Arkansas, my parents were completing in the dark about my conversations with the other parents and I didn't know I was saying anything more than I had already told my parents and my grandparents.


"The one promised to me by God - wasn't coming to me in the body of a girl. The promise was coming to me from a boy."


Where people let that idea chase them after I said = was where it took them. I was just coming from where I was coming from with it. It was the truth.


It was related to reincarnation, but my parents had issued a 'gag order' on me and forbid me to talk to them about. They had told me if I find 'like minded' people - young or old - then I could talk to them all I wanted with their blessing. I was to keep them away from that conversation. So I did.


The parents wanted to know - how I knew this was coming from God. I asked them, (actually a spirit was beside me and told me to ask them,)


"Do you know what next week's headline is going to be on the front page? Do you think I know that? Do you think God knows that?"


My Grandfather later told me there was a scripture he took to heart during the aftermath of that phase. It is hard for a prophet to prophesize to his kin. It was hard for a 'teacher of spirit' to teach spirit to his own family.


It was only after things blew up that my Grandfather went in behind and talked to some of the parents involved and got a clearer picture of what was 'really going' on to help calm my parents down.


In the first city, I felt God was in absolute total control of the situation and I was being led to the adult minds who where open with me about the deep spiritual subject matters I was struggling with. In the second city when we moved away, I felt my parents were trying to wrestle control away from God.


My parents were trying to hide me 'away in the closet' and keep it a closely guarded secret. "That is how these things are done Son. This is not something you want the neighbors finding out about."


I had no problem talking to the neighbors about it directly in the old city and felt my parents were running away from wild ideas in their own imaginations. I went to my Dad and said,


"You is killing me Dad. You is fighting to help keep me alive all these years - and telling to fight with strength, dignity and honor. If I lost out, then I got to keep my head held high knowing I put in the best fight I could. I didn't know you and Mom was trying to raise me to be a coward. If that is what your trying to do - you might as stick a knife in my heart right here and now - and get it over with. It will be a lot quicker that way."


After that talk is when my Dad granted me permission to go up and down the block and talk to the other Dad's. I wasn't to talk to the Mom's this time. He told me to stick to what ever it was I had been talking to with the other parents in the last city. It was only after getting the other Dad's involved that I could come out to the other guys my age on the block. (It was a big block.)


continued...........

 

[dking777]

The reasoning my Dad had on it was - there were others like me in the world - and a Dad would appreciate finding out if their son had that sort of 'fate' hidden inside of them. As I told my Dad,


"I would rather do my own talking about this. I sure don't want Mom talking to anyone about for me. She has the wrong idea in her head. The last person I want to keep this secret is with her. I get better advise when I go outside of her."


So, talking to the other fellows Dad's was something I suggested but didn't know if my Dad was going to agree to it. I was like a kid on Christmas morning when he said I could do my own talking. Only one Dad on the entire block turned his back on me and wouldn't allow me to 'hang out' with his two sons. The two sons had heard what was going on - and they were broken hearted. That is what sparked the 'out of body' thing. I told them, "Don't worry. I got you Dad to outline a promise that doesn't violate his rules any - and he put it God's hands. Trust me, your Daddy went and opened the door wide open for me from another direction. I can't see you in person no more, but that ain't going to stop me. I got an invisible body. Just start looking for me in the middle of the night. Know, I done tricked your Daddy into giving me a blessing for that sort thing."


So, my parents never forced me into that sort of conversation. I had to plead and beg to get permission to talk to other adults on my own.


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[Mere Dreamer]

In the first city, I felt God was in absolute total control of the situation and I was being led to the adult minds who where open with me about the deep spiritual subject matters I was struggling with. In the second city when we moved away, I felt my parents were trying to wrestle control away from God.

Ah, I know that fear they were dealing with. It's a tough one to push through because what might happen seems so rational and real, even though fear creates its own monsters and it is the transparency of love that vanquishes them. Too easy to get caught up in it without realizing I've stepped into a false reality, though. It's worth learning to see through the veil,... and such a relief to tear down the curtain when I finally realize what's going on.


It's harder when family is actively creating the false reality though, because it's not like we can just change their minds. They have to figure it out for themselves, just like we do.

 

[dking777]

The boys that you connected with, did they consider themselves straight or gay? Or, was this a case of "on the down low"?

When I was a teenager - I would have never identified with those two words. I wouldn't have identified with any sort of 'sexual identity' at that time. To me, it was about 'true love' and the path we were on to find it. There was a type of love that came to us in 'boyhood' and that was to prepare us for love coming to us in 'manhood.'


On my block, there was a kid - everyone identified as 'queer' and I wouldn't hang out with him. I had avoided him like the plague when we first moved in. No one had to tell me what he was. Every kid on the block knew who he was and what he was and they confirmed what I already knew. The adults didn't pick up on it. Young boys have built in 'radars' for that sort of thing. Back then, the word most people associated with it was 'sissy.'


"Dad, I done studied this from front to back, left to right, and top to bottom when we was living in the old town. I went to ever school to talk to everyone about what kind of queers they had hidden away. Every school has them. The kids know who they are and each one is different. I talked to everyone they pointed out to me. Some of them are into it for the right reason and some of them got dragged into it kicking and screaming for all the wrong reasons. If ya'll is thinking I am like him in any way - boy howdy, ya'll done got the wrong idea in your head. Me and him is nothing alike. We is night and day. Dad, if it came to one of two choices and that is all I had, and the choice was to be a sissy and wear a dress around town - or be like him.....Dad, I would put that dress on fast and quick. He has a big, mean, nasty and powerful critter feeding on him. I can't stand to be around him because of that stench he got on him for it."


To me as a child, the choice wasn't whether a boy was 'gay' or 'straight' but rather if he was 'feeding' the 'demons of lust' in his pursuit to true love. He was never included in our 'game play.' I think more by his choice than my say so. I would have excluded him on my own. I was friendly with him and spoke to him from time to time - but - at arm's length.


My association (or awareness of him) set a ground rule I followed the rest of my life. He didn't have a Dad living at home with him. With all the other fellows on the block - I had a friendship with their Fathers. I was the 'go-between' for the birds and bees talk their Father wanted to have with them. I could talk 'sense' into the other fellows heads - because I was going to their Dad's on the side and telling them (in a sly and metaphorical way) where their Son's were at in their sexual development. It was about 'taming' the wild beast within so their Son's would grow up with proper attitude toward love - and act like a gentlemen when it came time to knock on a girls door with flowers in his hand - and introducing themselves to the 'girls' father.


What I recall of it - all the fellows I worked with during that stage had a dream and desire to find a wife in the future. So when I went to the Dad's and told them, "Your Son is all man," they knew that meant they didn't have a desire to chase after their own 'gender' in manhood.


In hindsight, it was innocent stuff. The most I was allowed to do in a physical sense - was exchange 'kisses' with them. I was just sort of 'stand-in' for them while they dreamed of the girl of their dreams. They was just a stand-in for me while I dreamed of my 'funny valentine.'


continued...........

 

[dking777]

I could never do anything that I wasn't proud to talk to their Dad's about.


"Yooo-eeeh. Your boy's a lover alright. Got a kiss in him, that carries a direct punch from the heart. Got no problem I can see about that sort of delivery. What ever girl he finds in his future, she has got a surprise coming to her when he deliver a kiss like that straight from his heart. I don't think you is going to have any problem when it comes to bring you and your wife some grandchildren."


My role on the block as far as the Dad's were concerned was to keep their son's busy and their minds occupied - and away from the idea of sneaking into the girls bedroom at night with that sort of kiss that might led to a shotgun wedding in the future.


All the ideas I was putting in their heads, where not coming from me. They were coming from their Dad's with a future bride in mind. I was just a 'stand-in' through a very innocent stage.


For my parents - I had to have a steady. Someone they knew the parents of - and could talk to and supervise our relationship. That was the 'first' soul mate I encountered when we moved to the block. Everyone knew that he and I shared past live memories with each other - and sort of stood on the side lines to watch the show about that. He and I shared a very deep psychic and spiritual bond during that period. I knew and he knew - he had a girl waiting for him in his future. We discussed it when we first met. I knew he wasn't the 'funny valentine' I was looking for - and didn't want to lead him on in any type of way. It wasn't going to last. I tried to 'break up' when I went though the 'growth spurt' and he wouldn't hear of it. We had to 'break up' together when we both knew it was the right thing to do from our hearts. We had a serious relationship and broke it off when I turned 21. He went on to get married and have children. He and I always knew it was a love designed to carry us though our youth - and when we got grown - we would be heading different directions to find the 'soul mate' who had our names written on their hearts.


As far as the other fellows on the block - they knew about my 'steady' but turned a blind eye to him. I told them they didn't have any chance what so ever to 'steal' me away from him. They liked to think they could and that is what they turned the blind eye to. One guy asked me why he didn't have a chance against my steady. He was trying to present himself as a proper gentlemen with his heart as his guide. I told him,


"You didn't stop the world for me. That is what I am trying to prepare you for. One day a girl is going to walk into your life and stop the world for you - and you are going to stop the world for her. You is going to be ready for it. I don't showed you how to reach down in your heart and find a kiss you need to give her - to thank her for the stopping the world for you. If you had thought enough to know how to do that right when we met - then - I might be spending more time with you than my steady. Until then, just know, it is coming to you, one day, one way, or another."


So, during those years, I felt my role was to prepare another kindred type spirit for that wonderful, remarkable and divine event I felt their soul had planned for them in the future, and to not allow themselves to sell themselves short until then.


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[dking777]

It's harder when family is actively creating the false reality though, because it's not like we can just change their minds. They have to figure it out for themselves, just like we do.

This is what I was trying to realize when I was 14, because my parents seemed to be 'painting' a picture in their minds that was totally abstract and unreal - from the reality I felt was going on around me. I felt they were making a mountain of a mole-hill and couldn't believe my eyes or ears when they were doing. All though the years, they felt my 'spiritual experiences' were part of an over-active imagination. I never realized what they were talking about until they set the example for me.


But this is what led me to the idea to 'fit' the bullies with in the new school. The first thing I had to do in the new city was get a 'martial arts' instructor. My skills in martial arts was no joke. Of course, my peers didn't know I had a 'ninja' hidden inside of me. My instructor were telling me NOT to use any 'blows' or 'maneuvers' on my peers what so ever. He didn't think I could tone it down. I knew how to tone it down.


In the old city - there were a dozen guys who had gotten double black eyes from me. One punch, two black eyes. Any fool come up to me talking non-sense, I could knock some sense in their head with one blow. I was trying to tell my parents they had nothing to worry about. The idea that a 'gang of guys' could come up and overpower me, bully me into the bushes for some dirty business - was total non-sense to me and my mind.


"Mom, if them boys come up to me and try to get the wrong kind of kiss from me to see some stars going off in front of their eyes, trust me, I have a way of getting them to see some stars. May not be the stars they had in mind, but they get a funny grin on their face when the stars start dancing in front of their cross eyes like that."


My new martial arts instructor felt I had to find a 'non-violent' way to express my points. He felt 'words' had a way of delivering blows like that - if the words were to touch on rare nerves and produce a fear in them.


After I won two of those fights with the bullies - I went to my Mom and thanked her for giving me the idea to use words to fight my fight - and that she had the example for me to follow.


Trying to change my Mom's mind about the 'evil' she felt was lurking around the corner at every turn - or the 'sense of a false reality' she had created in her own mind - was a hard task to try and change on her. Her concern was very genuine, but I felt she was going through peaks and valley's with a paranoid attitude at times due to her 'false perception' of things.


I look back now and wouldn't change a minute of it, and I feel their were spiritual lessons coming to the both of us on a higher level.


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[dking777]

The boys that you connected with, did they consider themselves straight or gay? Or, was this a case of "on the down low"?

When I was 20, Uncle Sam came calling and I had to put everything on hold. At that time, my Grandfather and my 'steady's' Dad had insisted I go to a 'gay club' to get a feel for what was in store for us - in the future. My Mom was beside herself when she heard my Grandfathers advise.


"I have worked long and hard to keep you out of establishments like that. Is your Grandpa insane? He is sending you in the Lion's den. A snake pit full of vermin that will poison your mind with the wrong ideas about this. You is still too young and impressionable."


I had contacted someone who knew someone, who knew a place and from their - I met up with a 'queer.' I told him my story and what my Grandpa wanted me to do. He couldn't believe his ears. I think he told me I was like a rare exquisite gem and he couldn't believe he had stumbled on to me, or that I had stumbled onto him. A gem that had been rumored about existing but never seen.


It was an eye opener for sure. I felt I was a whole different breed from them. (My Grandfather always refer to it as "your kind.")


"The rest of the world don't understand your kind Grandson. Your family had done helped you out as best we could with it, but I am thinking you need to rub shoulders and mingle with your kind some. They has probably got some advise for you that your family is missing out on - because we is not 'your kind,' if you know what I mean. They is going to have experience on things we got on experience on."


There was a scene from a new movie back then called Star Wars. When I went into the

, I thought I was living that scene out in real life and had landed on a plant - far, far away.
I mention this because that night was the first night I ever heard the word 'gay.' This contact I had made said he had been telling his 'friends' and fellow 'bar patrons' about the story I had been telling him. No one could believe their ears, but I got a group of young men's attention. I was engaged in all types of conversation, had my own questions, trying to answer theirs and tuning into the 'spiritual undertow.' I know that one guy asked me,


"What planet are you from?'


But, I wanted to know how much they were like me (or my kind) and how much I was like them. My parents were not raising me to be 'promiscuous' and run the same type circuit they were. I was being raised in preparation for a 'ceremonial bonding' with a 'soul mate' from heaven.


We closed the club down engaged in deep conversation and afterwards went to an all night diner and talked well past sunrise. I didn't pull up to my house until 10 AM. I thought my Mom would have waited up for me all night - and had given up at one point and gone to bed. She was sitting right there all full or energy. I was hoping to avoid her 'third degree.'


"My Gawd. What is that smell?"


She came over sniffing on me,


"Smells like cheap perfume. Smells like the kind you would get you after hanging out in a cheap brothel all night. My Gawd, get in that bathroom and run a wash clothe over you. I don't want to smell that scent thinking it is coming from my Son."


She was hollering at me in the bathroom telling me what she expected to hear from me - God forbid, that I had been taken advantage of and given myself over to any sort of temptation - that kind would have been throwing at me.


continued.......

 

[dking777]

I was shaking my head and told her,


"First, I got to give you something."


I leaned over and started kissing her on her cheek and forward counting off numbers.


She asked what all that was about and then let her mind go wild,


"You trying to soften me up for some bad news. What is it. Tell me."


I told her that each of the fellows I had spoken with the night before had all asked me to give her a kiss for them and say,


"They all said they wished that while they was growing up in this world - they had a Mother like you to help them prepare for the real world out there."


I then leaned in and kissed her on the forehead and said,


"Those other kisses was from them. That one was from me. They said if I didn't know enough to kiss you and thank you for every thing you have done for me - they did. They said if I didn't get home and kiss you and thank you, they was going to whip my behind next time they happen to run into me again."


Afterwards, if people ask me if I was gay, I would say,


"No, I am not an orphan and my parents never abandoned me. I grew up with two very loving parents by my side."


That night at the club, I heard story after story how parents had kicked their sons out of their life and disowned them because of their quest to find true love hidden beneath the skin of someone of their own gender. I felt that guys who led a promiscuous lifestyle or gave their minds over to physical attraction - were orphans.


If it does come down to me writing or sharing the story on a bigger scale - I don't think it is my story that needs to be told as much as it is my Mom's. She is the one who set an example for many other parents to follow who are dealing with the same issue concerning their own sons and daughters.


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[dking777]

There are a few things I'd like to understand already, because I think understanding them would help me get to the point where they are useful. *sighs* Of course, things always end up rolling out properly anyway, looking back. At least now I have enough experience of it to know it practically and not just wishfully.

What is strange to look back on now is - that when the 'visions' came to me - I knew they were going to be swept under the carpet a few short days later. My mind and memories would be closed to all my past experiences with this "One" - and then, when it opened up and I heard this 'voice' coming to me from within - I would instantly remember everything and I would have to consent to allow this moment (or this memory of it) to be buried in a few hours or within a few days. It would be gone from my conscious mind. Sometimes a trace would be left in a form of 'intuition' or instinct.


A lot of my questions during that period where about 'reincarnation' and I was just looking for 'straight' answers and not a bunch of 'riddles' (or poetic parable expressions) which is what I got more times than I can count.


Since 1980, I have a lot of experiences to speak of and can share, but I don't know if I have found the answers to the questions I was asking back in 1980. If anything, I think I have more questions than I started out with.


But I know where your coming from. I thought I could do a heck of a better job if I had understanding given directly to me from a reliable source. When I look back on it now, I feel it was the right thing to do to keep me in the dark some what- to keep me flowing forward with time. I think if I had 'too much' information or knowledge, it would have led to some form of stagnation.


Sincerely,


DKing

 

[dking777]

Getting back to the topic of 'talking to dead people......."


Circumstances of my medical condition led me to attend sessions with University Professors of Psychology when I was in 7th grade at the age of 13. A part of this came about because of my 'tale' of past life that gave me 'current' access to martial arts skills. So, I had direct access to talk to an individual and told him about the 'happenings' going on around me in Junior and he shared his professional perspective with me. It was somewhere in that time that I learned that the word psychology itself had meant 'science of the soul' sometime in the past.


At the age of 18, I still had two Psychology Professors who worked with me on various matters pertaining to my 'cardiac condition' and the psychological and emotional side-effects. Prior to that - I had never spoke to them about the 'eternal' experiences. Nothing to do with 'near-death experiences' - out of body experiences, communication with spirits, sight of spiritual entities, - or anything pertaining to spirit. I kept my focus with them on the physical and material. I felt I had 'spirit guides' who helped me cope with the 'spiritual' experiences. One thing my amnesia did, was trip me up in a way - and I started speaking to a lot of people about the mystical, invisible or eternal spirit. Something I wouldn't have normally done prior to amnesia.


When I had the car accident - I could recall going to the light and the return. It wasn't crystal clear and vivid - but I could recall some remarkable details. When I started talking about this, of course, I raised some eyebrows and some people where very skeptical.


A co-worker had died 3 months prior to my own 'near-death experience' and amnesia in 1978. His spirit had returned with me and was constantly around - and I found myself engaged in some sort of mystical conversation with his spirit. I was introduced to this by a blind piano player who said - he could see and hear my friend. He told me, "Your friend has came back to walk with you awhile to be something of an angel to you." For me, it became an established fact - due to my own method of getting 'confirmation' through spirit. To me, it was just an invisible and silent friend who walked with me and engaged my mind in topics relating to 'divine matters.' It wasn't religious in a Church sense, only because I wouldn't use religious words at that point and time in life. It was all parables anyway. The Church had it's way of saying it and I had mine. "One and the many are one and the same."


I was being instructed (in spirit) to start carting people out to where I had my 'near-death experience' and car crash. I had been using all these parables about 'crashing through time' and some type of 'wormhole vortex' that had swirled me up into a funnel into outer space - much like Dorthy and Toto. At that time, I was just looking for others who had similar experience. I knew they were out in the world somewhere. I would tell people,


"I lost Toto somewhere on the trip back into my body. I got to find Toto. You guys want to help me find Toto?"


Toto was my way of referring to the 'invisible companion' I came back with. Some may have called him a ghost, a spirit, a phantom, shadow, apparition, specter, spook, an illusion, delusion, hallucination, or the many other variations of. What I had sight, sound and a sixth sense feel of - was divine. I didn't understand all that - and was sort of lost in my own state of confusion about expressing the 'true nature' of this 'divine light' that appeared out of 'thin air' from time to time. It always left me in 'awe' because it carried the 'aroma' of the place I called 'home.'


continued......

 

[dking777]

Overall, I think there was 50 or so people I was instructed to bring to his spot - all with the idea - they were going to catch a glimpse or sight of something I had 'encountered' in my 'trip home' or 'crash through the wormhole of time.'


"We just got to look for that invisible door hidden out here some where. We find that - and we will probably find Toto sniffing around looking for me."


I knew what was about to happen, but the people standing next to me where too busy flapping their jaws with ridicule, mockery and disbelief about that sort of paranormal or mystical reality. I always got the last laugh. They were laughing on the trip there, and I was always laughing on the trip back.


There were two types of responses. Either they would be in 'awe' of the sight - or in absolute fear. My study at that time was, were did the 'fear' come from? It wasn't in the 'actual' sight of what brought the fear. It was in what they "thought" they were seeing. What they were 'thinking' they saw, and what they actually saw - was two different things when the 'fear' was produced in an 'emotional and psychological' response. It was the 'human-head' fly thing all over again. The human-headed didn't exist any where other than - the imagination.


I realized that day - that when it comes to the 'battle of good and evil' in this world - sometimes, we can become our own worst enemy.


I was trying to study why 'spirits' that were divine had to keep their selves hidden away in the shadows of time. I was told to watch - what the 'fear' response - drew to us. It was like 'blood' to a shark. The 'dark critters' or 'dark spirits' would show up in 'response' to the fear produced by the human psychological response.


I was trying to give each 'group' a spiritual lesson to help them in future situations. After the 'haunting' effect, I would drive to a Church parking lot - because people felt more comfortable about being 'closer' to God after something like that. We would have discussion and usually I would be able to provide positive testimony of my NDE.


At on point, I mentioned the 'dark critters" or 'shadow figures.' The 'spirit' we had sight of was divine. It was radiate a glowing essence of light - with 'glittering' sparkles of light inside of it. At one point, someone said they wanted to catch sight of the 'dark critters' or 'shadow figures.' I told them I thought they were insane and too immature in their thinking to ask for that intentionally - because they didn't understand the type of fear that would produce in their minds. I called it a 'feeding fear.'


To me, the difference was sitting in a boat and seeing a 'fish' in the water - and allowing your imagination to get carried away to 'thinking' you saw a shark - when actually - it was nothing but a friendly dolphin. It was be kind of funny (as it was when I was trying to explain the divine nature of this particular spirit) when you realized your mistake. I told them a 'feeding fear' was when those 'dang' things sunk their 'teeth' into you to produce the fear they would feed upon. It is a 'horrifying fear' that isn't easy to rid oneself of. I told them,


"You can ask God for permission of something like that, but leave me out of it. That is between you and God and I never want you to look back on this moment and saw I brought you out here to feed some demons. That is between you and God. Say your prayers for it and if God feels you need that sort of sight and feeling in you to help you on your future path, then let that be between you and God. I wash my hands of it - warning you that is not a sight for the lame, weak, or faint of heart. If you think you is strong enough to handle that sight for yourself, go for what you know."


continued...............

 

[dking777]

I drove back to the spot and wouldn't drive down the road. I just shinned my headlights down it and we started talking. Three of the six people let out a blood curling scream as they started giving testimony of what the had sight of. Me and the three others couldn't see the same thing - and the three that could started describing the 'critters' I had sight of many times in my past. I didn't need to see what they were describing to know what they had caught sight of. The 'divine spirit was a disembodied spirit and had that reflection. So, that was a grounding factor in my testimony.


One of them was hitting me and telling me,


"Look, look, tell me what is it I am seeing."


I told them,


"I don't have to see what your seeing to know what it is your seeing. You asked for it. Not me."


We were all teenagers at the time. I told them it was best to deal with them - without sight. When they finally calmed down and we drove back to the Chruch, they wanted to know how come four of us were blind to it - while three of them had sight of it. They felt they had seen it due to the headlight beams shinning down the road. I told them,


"There is a whole different set of lights that come on inside you to see that sort thing. We kept our lights off. You three is the ones that asked God to turn them lights on so you could something evil like that lurking in the shadows of this world."


For those of you who keep up with the conversations I shared with a Seattle musician in 1986.... I told him that story. At that time, I was sort of using the whole 'wizard of oz' parable and called the 'dark critter' the flying monkeys. They seemed less intimidating when I used the 'flying monkey' moniker. My friend said something before I could tell him the end of the story.


"Oh, I would like to see something like that for myself."


I told him,


"No you don't! Trust me. You go and talk to those three now and I think they have a mind to agree with me now. You want to deal with them with the lights out. It is less dangerous for you that way."


I had come to believe that is was better for the average mind to deal with the 'good verses evil' in this world on a psychological level and avoid trying to tune into spirit to see the 'spiritual side of the equation.' I told him that if you walked by someone who was ranting, raving and scream out in anger, someone was probally going to say, "he is feeding his demons." I felt that sort of sight was 'ugly' enough without having to 'turn your lights on inside' to actually see 'spiritual entities' and their true ugly nature really 'feeding' in his anger.


"Like pigs to the slop, buddy. That is all you need to know. "Nope, with your lights out, it is less dangerous coming across that situation. You at a party and see someone throwing a fit, and if everyone was turn their lights on and see what was 'really' going on - out of normal sight, every man, woman and child would be running all over one another to get that sight out of their mind. This world would be a heck of more dangerous place to live if you had to look up and see a herd of people running all sorts of directions and coming at you hollering 'run for you life, there are monsters on the loose. No sir, brother, blindness serves it purpose sometimes and in this case, it serves its purpose well."


He was silent for awhile on the telephone and finally said,


"That makes a great hook. Can I use it?"


We had already discussed this many times in our conversation. My reply to him was,


"Makes no nevermind to me."


Continued...................

 

[dking777]

I told him I might hear that sung in a song in the future and it might trigger recall of our conversation and the story from which it came. I had asked him why he felt that 'hook' he had choosen from our conversation would fit into the melody like he was thinking on it. We had discussed trying to put some sex appeal into a melody without exploiting it with woman wearing 'tight fitting' shirts with their body parts hanging out. The motto he had in mind was "Less is more sometimes." He said


"It sounds sexy. It made me think of how everyone wants to do it in the dark. All the foreplay and talk goes on with the lights on, and then when the moment comes for the getting busy part, it pops into your mind to turn the lights out before you start the lovemaking. It is just a hook with the right amount of sex appeal to it. I think it will stand out and stick in people's mind after they hear the melody."


It is strange for me to look back in hindsight and see the trail and ripple that got started back in 1978 when I was engaged in a conversation with a 'dead person' whose spirit was 'acting' an angel to me. I get back home on the other side, I get to look him up and say,


"See what you started boy. You got the whole dang world to sing along to things you and I was doing together back there when you was sniffing around my heels like Toto. That time you was a 'haunting' me like a spook. Little do they know, you was just an angel in disguise."


He may be the only one in the world (or the world to come) to get the same kick out of it - as I do.


Sincerely,


DKing