Together Again - Lisbet's Family Reunited

[ChrisR]

It's been a while since I last posted anything about my past life as Lisbet, and quite a lot more has been revealed to me over the last 6 months, so I thought I would write here an update.

About 7 months ago I met a lady in Facebook, we were not looking for each other, she just happened to stumble upon my profile, and when she saw that I was interested in reincarnation, she introduced herself and we quickly became good friends, writing to each other every day.

It soon became apparent that this was not just a chance meeting between two strangers. We quickly felt that there was a strong 'connection' between us, so it wasn't long before we decided to meditate together. Shared meditations are something that I've never been very successful with, but our first attempt brought back to me several memories of a life as her little brother in the 1800's, and in another life I saw us together as twin sisters. She has seen several other lives that we've shared together, although I have yet to see any of those.

But as this thread is about Lisbet, I wanted to share an experience that I had about 5 months ago. It was during a dream that I saw myself as Lisbet, the following is an extract from my journal (my friend will be referred to here as 'J'):

I had a very interesting dream last night and J was in it. I dreamed that J came to Ecuador with me to explore the region where Lisbet lived. We found the house where I lived with my father, and it was in exactly the same condition as how I remember it, there were even the belongings of Lisbet and her Papi's still there. We went inside, it was very emotional, happy and sad at the same time. We sat in front of the fire, and after a discussion, we decided we would trek to the volcano the following day, before retiring to bed for the night. We both were in the same bed together, it was Lisbet's bed.

Still in the dream, the next day I awoke and I was cuddled up to J, she had her back to me and I had my arms around her. I felt different. I noticed my hands first, they were no longer my normal manly hands, but the small feminine hands of Lisbet. As I noticed this, J woke up and looked at me with a huge smile on her face, she seemed to recognize me as Lisbet straight away, I was no longer Chris, I was Lisbet in body and mind, I smiled back at her and we hugged. Then it kind of flashed forward and we were scrambling over some rocks. I told J that we were nearly there as I took her by the hand and led her over a small grassy hill........ there before us was the volcano in all of it's glory.

We stood there for a while just looking. I felt no fear at all, until there was huge roar and smoke and ash started belching from the volcano, I turned to run, but I ran straight into J. My head only came up to her waist, I suddenly felt so small, but she held me there gently but firmly. The ash was roaring towards us, I wanted to struggle, but somehow I felt safe in her arms. She held me there and told me that everything was going to be alright. I hid, burying my head into her waist and I opened one eye to see the ash cloud almost upon us. It completely engulfed us, but we didn't die. We were still standing there, ash and smoke whirling around us like we were stood in the middle of a tornado, and still she was holding on tightly to me. Then everything went dark and the next thing I knew, I was waking up from a long sleep. I was still Lisbet and my head was on J's lap and she was gently running her fingers through my hair. At that moment, I felt like she was my mother, in this profound moment... she WAS Lisbet's mother. I ask myself, Is it possible that she was Lisbet's mother? It felt more like a dream, symbolic, yet some of the scenes, the house, the volcano and the surrounding area were very specific, detailed, I recognized them, they felt like memories. I don't know what to make of it all but I felt very emotional when I woke up, and I have been thinking about it all day, I think I went through every emotion imaginable in that dream. But I can't get out of my head how happy J seemed to be to see Lisbet, and to share those moments with her, and how happy Lisbet seemed to be with J.

After the dream, I approached my friend and told her that I felt she was Lisbet's Mama. It was like opening the floodgates, my friend replied to me and as she wrote, the memories came flooding out, memories of Lisbet as a tiny baby, her family, how she and Papi ended up in a remote part of Ecuador. Her Mama died of typhoid when she was 2 years old. Lisbet was the result of an extra marital affair between her mother, and her mother's employer at a bar in the big city (which we believe was Quito). Papi was never aware that Lisbet was not his biological daughter, and because of the affair, he and Mama seperated not long before Mama died. Papi took me and fled south to the remote region where he would raise me on his own, against the wishes of my mother's family, who wanted to take me back to Quito......the rest is history! -

Following our discovery, we exchanged many emotional memories back and forth, Lisbet's background was unfolding before my eyes, and everything seemed to be falling into place. My friend still carries a lot of guilt for letting Papi take me away from her family, but our renewed acquaintance is going a long way towards settling that guilt.

But despite all of this, I still felt that a huge part of the puzzle was missing. I was still feeling as haunted by Lisbet as I ever was. I was spending far too much time in the past and not enough time in the here and now. Despite finding my Mama, I still felt much guilt and sadness deep inside, maybe I was subconsciously aware of what was to follow.........

 

[ChrisR]

A couple of weeks ago I began to have a series of nightmares where I found myself experiencing Lisbet's death again. But these nightmares were somehow different. Although the content was exactly the same as the countless nightmares I've had for most of my life, I seemed to be more focussed on certain aspects of the dream.....particularly Papi and how we became seperated just before we died. A few times I awoke with a jolt, Papi's screams still ringing in my ears, then afterwards, I would spend several hours feeling guilt. Was he screaming at me to run? Or was he screaming at me, begging me not to leave him? I wondered if I should have stayed with him instead of turning and running away. I felt that I could have run out of the path of the ash cloud, but because I hesitated, not knowing whether to run, or to try and help Papi, that moment of hesitation probably cost me my life. The dreams continued over 3 or 4 nights, I felt as if something was about to be revealed to me..... something big.


And then, on the last night of dreaming, I had a strange dream about my friend's daughter, who is now 13 years old. I've seen a few pictures of her, and we have exchanged one or two messages on our birthday's, but nothing much, so why was I now dreaming about her? I remember being jolted awake and thinking to myself that I must remember this dream to tell my friend, but unfortunately, the next morning it had all but gone. But the little bit I do remember was that my friend's daughter was there with me when Lisbet died, I just know that she was there, and that she was my Papi! The next day, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my back, I felt unusually happy, and a few people at work made comments.


I laid my discovery down in front of my friend and asked for her thoughts. She admitted that she never felt the need to find Papi again in this life, and that she had never even considered that her own daughter could have once been him, it was all too much for her to take in. We discussed the possibility however, and I found myself coming up with several similarities between her life today, and Lisbet and Papi's life back then. The more I thought it through, the more convinced I've become that Papi has returned as my friend's daughter.


This latest discovery has only come within the last week, but already, my outlook has totally changed as far as Lisbet is concerned. I've still been thinking about her a lot, but now I can recall the sad memories, and let them go without upsetting myself. I don't feel so alone anymore, I'm convinced that I've found Papi again, and just knowing that he is 'out there', and that he's okay and enjoying his new life as my friend's daughter. Although too personal to discuss here, I can see clearly the karma at work, I can see why Papi chose to come back to Mama as her daughter, and I think I know the path that destiny has chosen for all of us, it's just a case of waiting to see what happens from now on, but my friend and I are planning to meet sometime next year. But right now, just finding Papi again has laid a lot of the ghosts to rest.


Sorry it was so long, but if you made it this far......thanks for reading - :thumbsup:

 

[alaskanlaughter]

Wow that's really neat how you found this person and her daughter! Such detailed memories too. I only get detailed memories on a very few things, not entire lives, so I envy being able to see all that.


It was fascinating to read too, since I've already read the other parts of Lisbet's life.

 

[soulfreindly]

I can see clearly the karma at work, I can see why Papi chose to come back to Mama as her daughter, and I think I know the path that destiny has chosen for all of us, it's just a case of waiting to see what happens from now on,

WOW Chris.. lots of work around your memories of Lisbet,, I am so glad that you have found more peace.. and that now you will feel that much less alone.. I am interested in hearing the karma stuff ,although if it is too personal c'est la vie..


I still feel kind of stuck and wonder if it is my reticence to get reinvolved with my karmic path which seems for several people to be getting buddy buddy with their pastlife fathers/ mothers. .


I know I have been married to family in previous lives .


I know of one person who I have a crush on now , who in my past was my brother, my twin brother, my husband, my father, my husband and then finally a father again. THis life this person was born one day after me, so the twin dynamic resonates very strongly in trying to understand our dynamics.


Still it just spooks me , kind of creepy to me to be so close to ones parent ..


CHris? Did this come naturally to you to be so comfortable with this. ?


Can anyone give me any thoughts about my fears , since Chris you seem to be getting comfy with such a notion>>??


soulfreindly

 

[tanguerra]

Gorgeous Chris. Just gorgeous. How lovely to find the whole 'family' again.

A few times I awoke with a jolt, Papi's screams still ringing in my ears, then afterwards, I would spend several hours feeling guilt. Was he screaming at me to run? Or was he screaming at me, begging me not to leave him? I wondered if I should have stayed with him instead of turning and running away. I felt that I could have run out of the path of the ash cloud, but because I hesitated, not knowing whether to run, or to try and help Papi, that moment of hesitation probably cost me my life.

I would think Papi was almost certainly yelling at Lisbet to run! Run! Run! I think any parent (or even any grown up worth the name) would tell a kid to run away in a situation like that (or wish that they had, even if they hadn't). I wouldn't feel guilty about it either way, personally. It is lovely when someone you remember dying pops up again, alive and well, though, isn't it? I am fairly convinced one of my friend's sons is my present life father back again. I don't think he remembers, and I don't make a fuss about it, but it gives me a warm glow all the same.

Still it just spooks me , kind of creepy to me to be so close to ones parent ...

Soulfriendly, it can be a bit weird to think that a present family member may once have been a lover or vice versa I suppose, but not really 'creepy', certainly not to my mind. Taboos on this are very strong, for very good social and practical reasons, but there is no reason why taboos should come into play when one is in a new body, with new genetic material and a whole new ball game.


I have a memory where X was once my little daughter and it doesn't feel weird really. The 'love' is the same, but different toward one's child. In that life I was married to my present-life sister and we did not get along too well then either!


I also have a memory where my present life father was my brother and my very best friend and the feeling is much the same as I felt for him in this life. We always did get along well. I remembered us growing up together, having wrestling matches, and doing 'boy' stuff together. It felt perfectly natural. It might 'weird me out' I suppose if we had been in a sexual relationship in a previous life, but probably not, really. Different life, different bodies, different circumstances, different rules.


Personally I suspect that a lot of the stuff that Freud considered to be incestuous, Oedipal, patricidal, etc. fantasies causing 'complexes' in his patients, might actually have been unresolved past life memories of people's dealings with their family members in various incarnations. Some of these alleged 'fantasies' (which appeared in dreams and under hypnsosis - sound familiar?) might just have been unfinished business, that might have been much easier to resolve and heal if they had been recognised for what they were...but that's a whole other topic!


What is it about it that is 'creepy' to you exactly? Can you put a finger on it?

 

[Sunniva]

Thank you Chris for sharing. It's very fascinating and as I've said before, just beautiful that the three of you get a chance to be together again and work out the karma between you :thumbsup: I'm so happy for you!!

 

[ChrisR]

Thanks so much for all the nice replies everyone -


soulfreindly: I hear what you're saying, but I think I am of the same opinion as tanguerra. We are all born into our present life with a 'clean slate', our memories supposedly wiped clean. Maybe part of the reason for that is so that we don't have a difficult time accepting that a past life daughter for example, could be your husband in this life. Each life is a different lesson, a different set of circumstances, and in my opinion, the connection between two or more souls lasts for an eternity, and far surpasses any physical relationship that we encounter in our physical form, which only lasts for a single lifetime. We have something different to learn from each different relationship that we share with a soul partner. I hope I understood and answered your question accordingly -


Right now, I'm just happy to have found that friend who I believe is a member of my soul group, or family. I don't see her as my mother in this life, I've also been her brother, her sister, her daughter, her wife and more, but I still see her as just a close friend today with a deep connection between us. We do feel very drawn towards each other, and there is a great distance between us, it seems that fate brought us together again, so we'll just continue as we are and see where fate takes us -


I would love to share the karma that appears to be at work between the three of us, but I have to take the other people involved into consideration. 'J' is a member of this forum, although she doesn't visit very often, and her daughter doesn't even know about what I believe to be true. So I don't feel it is my place to share until everybody involved is in agreement for me to do so.....until then, i'm sorry -

 

[W.A. HEART]

Hi Chris!


I'm so happy for you (and for Lisbet!)!!! These revelations may certainly allow for healing a lot of wounds. I can imagine it must be overwhelming to remember a past life as a child, especially such a young and fragile child - I say fragile in the sense that she was always harshly exposed to all kinds of trials and pain. I know she was a very strong little girl, and a happy one, in spite of the hardships she endured. But certainly not pain free - and as an adult I think it is heart breaking to feel the pain of a child / as a child.


I totally agree with Tanguerra - any parent would certainly cry for their baby to run! My guess is Lisbet knew that entirely - that her Papi told her to run and save herself. But how could she just leave him there? Most children have the notion that they can take the world on their shoulders, and sometimes blame themselves for not doing or preventing things that were never in their power to prevent or do in the first place - but nonetheless they suffer with it.


So Chris, now that you have the chance to be reunited with your family from that life, I hope it is also a chance for all that guilt to go away - neither you or Lisbet deserve it - you are both outstanding, IMO.


Love and Light!!

 

[soulfreindly]

What is it about it that is 'creepy' to you exactly? Can you put a finger on it?

THanks for asking Tanguerra..


I sort of worry that if I continue to marry " within" the family I am going to become ingrained in the dysfunctional stuff. ..


. I also do wonder that I am out of sync in my karma this life. There is the theory that some souls do come back too soon after their last incarnation . I feel I am one of them. This would explain my difficulties in feeling reticent about getting attached. This was mentioned by Rabbi Gershom in his book Beyond the Ashes about soul journies from the holocaust.


In my regression , it was my sister who brought me back, and I did miss time in the bardo. I wonder alot that she chose my present family, and she based that on her love for my father. Like maybe my father is her soul- mate. I find my father very difficult.. although I do see how an amazing person he is beyond his dysfunction. It is like my father just cannot give me anything because I am out of sync with being with him..


My father was a past life son and a short term lover, I did harm him as my son by abadoning him, so that undoubtedly affects why we clash this life. IN another life , he was dating both me and my present day mother at the same time. I did not realize that he was. My mother and I were freinds at the time and she never forgave me for me being with him. hat is maybe another theme going on.


My first negative memory was of being raped by a past life father, where I ended up flipping out and killing him. I was then hung for killing him.. Pretty dramatic karma eh?? . IN that family my current mother and brothers were also in that family.


The men who I am attracted to this life have similar things going on, with some lovely lives and then some where abuse is attached to them. The bad things are difficult for me to get over.


Maybe I just have too much reminders and triggers in this life what with my other very bad memories , to ever beleive in being reunited with a past love and getting reinvolved with family.


OR I really am out of sync with my karma and need to wait another life to catch up..


Or maybe both ..That feels like the easiest way of approaching it.. but whether the best I do not know.


soulfreindly

 

[Karoliina]

Congratulations, Chris, and thanks for the update! :thumbsup: hug2.gif


Karoliina

 

[tanguerra]

So I don't feel it is my place to share until everybody involved is in agreement for me to do so.....until then, i'm sorry

Don't be sorry Chris. That's totally cool. :cool


Soulfriendly, my goodness!


Yes, I would perhaps tend to agree with you that it's time to start 'seeing other people'.


Perhaps your 'world' is somewhat insular, with all those repeating patterns? That is the beauty of this whole reincarnation gig though... We are all immortal, and cannot be permanently harmed, so, ulimately, there's no harm and no foul. There is only 'onward' (and hopefully upwards).


People have a way of coming back into our lives, though, as Chris has described, when we have 'unfinished business' and the only way to 'finish the business' is to deal with it. This does not have to mean having 'relationships' with people, necessarily. It can mean any number of things, acts of forgiveness, compassion, atonement, generosity, love, good will, reconciliation, farewell....

OR I really am out of sync with my karma and need to wait another life to catch up.. Or maybe both ..That feels like the easiest way of approaching it.. but whether the best I do not know.

To take the 'easiest way' though and do nothing? Hmmmm...?


You have taken the first step to finding the answers to these questions though. That's for sure.

 

[Owl]

Wow, amazing discoveries!

 

[ChrisR]

Thank you all again for your replies, it does mean a lot to me. Karoliina - thank you, and congratulations to you too -

Hi Chris!
I'm so happy for you (and for Lisbet!)!!! These revelations may certainly allow for healing a lot of wounds. I can imagine it must be overwhelming to remember a past life as a child, especially such a young and fragile child - I say fragile in the sense that she was always harshly exposed to all kinds of trials and pain. I know she was a very strong little girl, and a happy one, in spite of the hardships she endured. But certainly not pain free - and as an adult I think it is heart breaking to feel the pain of a child / as a child.

I felt that a lot of the old wounds were healed instantly when I recognized my friends' daughter as Papi. Now that you mention how overwhelming it must be to remember a past life as a child, I was just thinking about how my perspective hasn't changed that much over the years. I remember clearly at 3-4 years old, dreaming that I was a 'grown up' girl, then as I got older and I eventually overtook Lisbet's age when she died, I began to see her as the child that she was, almost like seeing her as two different people. Yet despite that, I still generally visualize her as that 'grown up' girl even now..... almost like a memory of a memory. Sorry if that doesn't make sense, it is difficult to put into words for me.

I totally agree with Tanguerra - any parent would certainly cry for their baby to run! My guess is Lisbet knew that entirely - that her Papi told her to run and save herself.

I agree that Lisbet knew her Papi was crying out for her to run, but she knew also that it would be the last time they would ever see each other. Although his 'head' was telling him to scream at her to run, his heart must have been breaking because he already knew his fate. Lisbet was well aware of all this, and she wanted to answer his 'heart', but she ran and that is where the guilt comes. All this happened in just a few dramatic seconds, but the echoes have carried on for 43 years into her next life -

neither you or Lisbet deserve it - you are both outstanding, IMO.

Thank you WA Heart for saying that -

 

[soulfreindly]

Thank you all
. Although his 'head' was telling him to scream at her to run, his heart must have been breaking because he already knew his fate. Lisbet was well aware of all this, and she wanted to answer his 'heart', but she ran and that is where the guilt comes. All this happened in just a few dramatic seconds, but the echoes have carried on for 43 years into her next life -


-

I loved how you worded this Chris.


You have made me think more clearly about my own reactions to help me understand the nature of guilt.. thanks..


Soulfreindly

 

[tanguerra]

then as I got older and I eventually overtook Lisbet's age when she died, I began to see her as the child that she was, almost like seeing her as two different people. Yet despite that, I still generally visualize her as that 'grown up' girl even now..... almost like a memory of a memory. Sorry if that doesn't make sense, it is difficult to put into words for me.

I know what you mean Chris. Sometimes we can have a different perspective in our memories 'now' compared with how we saw things 'then'.

 

[soulfreindly]

To take the 'easiest way' though and do nothing? Hmmmm...?

I could have worded it in another way. By taking the easeist way I do not mean not to do anything but instead to let things unfold without trying to control too much, without trying to stear my own ship in life.


Your lovely healing story Chris has moved me into more action. I was getting slopey and forgetting about watching for signs of unresolved feelings.


I am quite sure now that I am out of sync this time around. I beleive that this life I do not have the same sort of preplans from a time in the bardo between lives. It is alot more scarey , but I need to take courage and have faith. I feel like I am looking for the same sort of support I have felt in other lives through the help I received in my bardo experience. I am quite aware of the people in my past, but without the natural boundaries of a plan to take my mind off of the pitfalls of the worse scenarios. This was subconscious awareness and it was nagging at me. I need more of a keel for my ship, as without it it is too scarey.


I am reminded I need to remain faithful to a spiritual path.


I need to take the best I have learned from my current life and to let myself relax to be open to counselling through prayer . I spent last night in prayer and found alot of solace. I need to get back to more quality spiritual time for myself . I see this time is very important for me to reconnect -- sort of equivalent to the guidance I would have received in the bardo. I am not being the odd ball by pursuing a spiritual life..LOL>.


Soulfreindly

 

[Aaron]

Chris, I am so glad you have found more of what you needed to know about that life, and that you have the courage to share it with us, we know it's not easy sometimes to share these things with just anyone.


I hope that you discover more about yourself, and that you can keep moving forward with healing!


There's nothing like true recognition of people who truly love you for who you are, throughout time. It's a sure blessing.


Remember my friend, trust yourself. You know yourself more than you realize.


Aaron.

 

[tanguerra]

I could have worded it in another way. By taking the easeist way I do not mean not to do anything but instead to let things unfold without trying to control too much, without trying to steear my own ship in life.

I know soulfriendly. I was just teasing you a little bit. It sounds as though you know what needs to be done and are doing it.


I love that bit from Desiderata about just letting the universe do its thing while you remain at peace (and it also applies to Chris's recent fortuitous reunification with his 'family' in a way too):

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.


Be cheerful. Strive to be happy

 

[traveler]

Thank you for sharing your latest experiences with Lisbet, Chris. You have such a fascinating story, and it has been interesting to see it unravel.

Thank you all
. Although his 'head' was telling him to scream at her to run, his heart must have been breaking because he already knew his fate. Lisbet was well aware of all this, and she wanted to answer his 'heart', but she ran and that is where the guilt comes. All this happened in just a few dramatic seconds, but the echoes have carried on for 43 years into her next life -


-

I love the wording of this, also. It really helps explain how specific moments in time with those we are closest to can have such a profound impact on us.

 

[ButterflyPsyche]

Chris, your story was one of the most fascinating ones I have read on here, one of the reasons I decided to join. It is such a blessing to be able to see those souls in your life again and work out your karma. Your details are amazing and I thank you so much for sharing!


Tanguerra, your ideas about the veil of forgetfulness between past and current lives are well taken. I wonder what that means for those of us that remember, though? Perhaps remembering is a task for the strong. I am sure Chris has probably had to rely on a lot of inner strength during some of these revelations.

 

[ChrisR]

Thanks ButterflyPsyche, I feel it's quite an honor that Lisbet's story is what partly prompted you to join the forum -


I wonder if there's any more to come from Lisbet now? Ever since I 'discovered' that Papi is alive and well, in the body of my friends' daughter, things feel kind of different for me now. I haven't thought about Lisbet very much at all these last few days, whereas before, I found that I could think about very little else. However, I still don't feel that I can say 'yes' my friends' daughter is definately the reincarnation of Papi......not yet, even though my heart and soul tell me that she is. It's like I don't fully trust my intuition because I don't feel as profound a connection with my friends' daughter as I do with my friend. Has anyone else ever felt something so strongly in their heart to be true, yet not been able to fully trust those feelings? Are there different levels to a soul connection? Maybe Lisbet was connected with her Mama on a higher level than with her Papi, is that a possibility? Is the healing that I've felt within myself these last few days enough to confirm that I have indeed found Papi? All these questions answered with......more questions -


Maybe everything will fall into place when I meet my friend and her daughter in person, which I know I will one day soon. I hope that maybe one day, her daughter will remember Mama and Lisbet, but it's okay if she doesn't, the only thing that really matters is that we're 'sort of' together again right now -

 

[Eevee]

Hi Chris,


I am reading along with great interest - from day one when you made your first post about your memories of this life.


It is so wonderful to read about little Lisbeth and her family, and how the memories are filled with emotion. Thank you very much for sharing all this - both here and on your website.


To answer your question, I think that recognizing someone in the present whom we shared a life with in the past, sometimes is enough to heal and give us emotional peace. I think it also happens a lot (at least this is my experience) that people from the past pop up in our present again - although we don't really have to 'work out issues with them anymore'. Like they just drop in to say 'Hi, here I am, and I am ok, nice to see you again !' :


It would be too longwinded to give you the many examples I experienced, and I don't want to hijack your thread . I think, even if you feel you still might need to work out something with a particular Soul you recognize from the past, it doesn't necesarily need to be in THIS life, maybe they just drop in now to say hi, and both of you might share a next life that is more suitable to accomplish what was infinished.


Anyway, this is my opinion, and I wish you a very happy time when you meet your former Mama and Papi again ! . Enjoy being with them, as who they are NOW.


Eevee

 

[ChrisR]

I think, even if you feel you still might need to work out something with a particular Soul you recognize from the past, it doesn't necesarily need to be in THIS life, maybe they just drop in now to say hi, and both of you might share a next life that is more suitable to accomplish what was infinished.

Thanks (((( Eevee ))))


I hadn't considered this, I've been a bit overwhelmed by the events of the last few months, first finding Mama.....and then Papi just a few months later. I live in England, and they live in Canada, obviously our meeting wasn't just some random fluke. The time was right, and it was meant to happen, so I've been asking myself "what am I supposed to do now that I've found them?" and "why have we found each other?". Perhaps you're right, maybe all we're doing is just 'touching base'. Whatever the reason is, I already know that they will always be part of my present life in one way or another..... I'm not losing them again! -