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Voluntary death in past life?

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sortoflikeheaven

Senior Member
Hi everyone, I've had a very detailed and I would say frightening experience of a possible past life under reincarnation regression meditation/hypnosis. Was a female in that life, apparently in midst of the with hunt era. Don't want to describe that, poor women, poor children. Can't believe I was taken and then let go. Felt unfair that some other innocent people died. Unhappy marriage. A little son who died, I said age 5.

I looked like a peasant wife, was young, said 19. Had ran from the village and was awoken by some of the village's men who had been out searching for me. I felt as if I was still drunk, but as if I could not get enough - wanted to get more drunk, that is. I was very irritated that they had searched and found me and they escorted me back, left me at home where my husband awaited, looking like he had been up all night too, a bit of a mess. I had a strange mix of fear, hate against him. He was big and strong, and still looked beautiful - he was a beautiful looking man, he always got looks, I felt, and I was kind of petite and thin. I kind of looked average in my face. Some kind of argument started which was pretty much given up on, as he gave me a bowl of food, but then aggravated left the house.

I took off the bonnet off my head and put it on the wooden table. It symbolized that I was a married woman. I left the house. I kind of walked behind or to the side of some of the village's homes. Some people were out. It felt like autumn. As I got closer to the edge of the village, a bit off there I'd say (the village had one forest on one side and a ocean, way up, on the other, so it was no easy escape from this village. One could not go through the huge forest on ones own, it was not safe.). As I got closer to the edge a man to my left side was trying to get my attention. Then as I turn around briefly (still walking but now fast) some of the people has perhaps alerted my husband who was out and he starts to run. So I run.

I hear his cry from afar as I jump off the cliff. Below was sharp edges of bits of mountains and the start of a huge ocean. It was difficult because I got all strong emotions of depression (that I haven't had myself), hate and grief. It was just pounding around in the body, the mind and heart. Before the jump that old image of her small son, dead, dressed in his dark blue suit and white socks, his beautiful hair - he was an image of his father - kept haunting me. I think I just wanted to be reunited with him. There was no doubt when I did it - ran and jumped, it was as if I knew I was gonna do it, that I had planned it in my head before.

I've read that one is not allowed to kill one's self and what will happen to the soul? Anyone with opinions? That knows something? Am I gonna be punished in some way because my soul did this - if it is now true? Please comment
 
I suggest you ask about that while "under regression/meditation/hypnosis". Ask from a neutral mental position, with a mild but ferm expectation for an answer. Forget all biases and fears, don't try to interpret the answers that pop up in your mind! Ask simply and clearly! Only one question at a time.

For example: "are there consequences for their soul when one kills themselves?" You'll probably get only a "yes" or a "no".

Then, if a "yes": "what is the consequences for their soul when one kills themselves?" You'll get another one or two words.

You can continue this way until you get satisfied. You can do it over one or several sessions. You can repeat any question during the same, or different sessions. Just think as little as possible about what the answer might be, and what the answer might mean, while "under regression/meditation/hypnosis".

It is more accurate than any rationalization you'd try, or any argument from anybody else.
 
sortoflikeheaven said:
Hi everyone, I've had a very detailed and I would say frightening experience of a possible past life under reincarnation regression meditation/hypnosis. Was a female in that life, apparently in midst of the with hunt era. Don't want to describe that, poor women, poor children. Can't believe I was taken and then let go. Felt unfair that some other innocent people died. Unhappy marriage. A little son who died, I said age 5. I looked like a peasant wife, was young, said 19. Had ran from the village and was awoken by some of the village's men who had been out searching for me. I felt as if I was still drunk, but as if I could not get enough - wanted to get more drunk, that is. I was very irritated that they had searched and found me and they escorted me back, left me at home where my husband awaited, looking like he had been up all night too, a bit of a mess. I had a strange mix of fear, hate against him. He was big and strong, and still looked beautiful - he was a beautiful looking man, he always got looks, I felt, and I was kind of petite and thin. I kind of looked average in my face. Some kind of argument started which was pretty much given up on, as he gave me a bowl of food, but then aggravated left the house. I took off the bonnet off my head and put it on the wooden table. It symbolized that I was a married woman. I left the house. I kind of walked behind or to the side of some of the village's homes. Some people were out. It felt like autumn. As I got closer to the edge of the village, a bit off there I'd say (the village had one forest on one side and a ocean, way up, on the other, so it was no easy escape from this village. One could not go through the huge forest on ones own, it was not safe.). As I got closer to the edge a man to my left side was trying to get my attention. Then as I turn around briefly (still walking but now fast) some of the people has perhaps alerted my husband who was out and he starts to run. So I run. I hear his cry from afar as I jump off the cliff. Below was sharp edges of bits of mountains and the start of a huge ocean. It was difficult because I got all strong emotions of depression (that I haven't had myself), hate and grief. It was just pounding around in the body, the mind and heart. Before the jump that old image of her small son, dead, dressed in his darkblue suit and white socks, his beautiful hair - he was an image of his father - kept haunting me. I think I just wanted to be reunited with him. There was no doubt when I did it - ran and jumped, it was as if I knew I was gonna do it, that I had planned it in my head before. I've read that one is not allowed to kill one's self and what will happen to the soul? Anyone with opinions? That knows something? Am I gonna be punished in some way because my soul did this - if it is now true? Please comment
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It reads as if maybe your husband may not have been a bad man. He waited at home in the hope you would return, and asked others to search for you in case you couldn't (were injured) or were confused(?) and didn't want to
When you were taken home, he gave you food. Men often act irritated or angry rather than cry.

It comes across that your grief for your little boy was too deep for you to be able to think straight, and you tried to get through by drinking which made things worse.
I committed suicide in two pl's. There were no consequences other than deep regret and sadness for those I left behind, distressed. If you had another older child at the time, you could have pulled through, but the loss of a precious only child was too much for you to bear. You aren't alone in suicide in those circumstances, even in modern times with all the anti depressants out there. I do feel deeply for you, for what you went through then and that you remember it. I hope you can find a way to resolve it, not blame anyone yourself included and to let it go.

I committed suicide twice in very different circumstances.

The first time, I was a very elderly frail woman in tremendous pain 24/7. The only thing which didn't hurt was my skull. I walked bent, with a stick

One day I was passing along a high grassy rock with a sheer drop. I suddenly made the decision, knowing that my husband and adult son would understand. Unfortunately, the wind carried me out a little way so I landed away from the base instead of straight down. I must have been so lightweight. Due to that, when I was found, my poor husband and son thought I had been murdered by being thrown, and that it must have been a stranger passing by as we knew no one who would harm us. We lived in what looked like an isolated croft.
When I saw their distress I deeply regretted not first going home and finding something to write a few words on. Hardly literate, I could have managed the word 'pain' or something that would have made sense to them. They would have understood, and been able to come to terms with it. I knew that then and know that now

It must have been two or three centuries ago but I still regret not leaving a note.

The second time was due to depression partly due to a failing marriage to a man who felt less for me than I for him. Exacerbated by the use of laudnum that he had introduced me to (for pain) and to which I became addicted. Not so uncommon at that time, about a century and a quarter ago. Again, my punishment is still the grief I caused others and particularly my own flesh and blood family.

So, maybe regret at hurting others is the whole of the punishment, but that shouldn't apply to you in the circumstances of such deep grief.
 
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I wonder too about my past life. I feel as if I either killed myself by slitting my wrists or someone else did. I always have to put one hand behind my pillow at night and the other always has to be covered by a blanket. I have a weird feeling if someone touches them and I feel sick if they do and immediately start thinking of blood and feel faint.
I tried to do a video as to meditate and get a past life experience but as soon as I got to that part I was blank. Anyone have any suggestions?
 
Halo said:
I wonder too about my past life. I feel as if I either killed myself by slitting my wrists or someone else did. I always have to put one hand behind my pillow at night and the other always has to be covered by a blanket. I have a weird feeling if someone touches them and I feel sick if they do and immediately start thinking of blood and feel faint.
I tried to do a video as to meditate and get a past life experience but as soon as I got to that part I was blank. Anyone have any suggestions?
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My memories have been spontaneous and came naturally from childhood.
My own view that I know many others will disagree with, is that it may not always be a good thing to deliberately regress. Particularly if there is a block. It could be that a person isn't yet equipped to cope with remembering too much at a time and may even need to be in a future life before they can cope with some things. Just imo.

Best wishes,

Angie
 
this could be the case. Maybe it is too heavy to take right now im not sure. I also have a severe fear of heights.
 
Halo said:
I wonder too about my past life. I feel as if I either killed myself by slitting my wrists or someone else did. I always have to put one hand behind my pillow at night and the other always has to be covered by a blanket. I have a weird feeling if someone touches them and I feel sick if they do and immediately start thinking of blood and feel faint.
I tried to do a video as to meditate and get a past life experience but as soon as I got to that part I was blank. Anyone have any suggestions?
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I always do the same with my arms to be honest
 
As far as I know, there are no consequences of suicide on a soul level. With most kinds of dramatic deaths, there is often some emotional residue in later lifetimes, but I am not sure that I buy into these ideas that go around that suicide has some sort of permanent effect on the soul.

In examples from my experience, I remember killing myself in one lifetime. The next lifetime I have found began a few decades later. I was perfectly fine and continued in the same odd patterns my lifetimes tend to have. Now any time I feel pain in my abdomen, I remember the act of stabbing myself there, but this is the kind of effect that can come from other stressful past life events as well.
 
I agree I think we keep a lot of the same qualities as those in our past lives. Just like everyday we evolve in todays life. We are growing from our past and moving forward in each life. I believe thats how we grow. Look how far people have come to accept people now a days. When we look back at history we evolved and I belive that is from past lives experiences.
Spirit Sword said:
As far as I know, there are no consequences of suicide on a soul level. With most kinds of dramatic deaths, there is often some emotional residue in later lifetimes, but I am not sure that I buy into these ideas that go around that suicide has some sort of permanent effect on the soul.

In examples from my experience, I remember killing myself in one lifetime. The next lifetime I have found began a few decades later. I was perfectly fine and continued in the same odd patterns my lifetimes tend to have. Now any time I feel pain in my abdomen, I remember the act of stabbing myself there, but this is the kind of effect that can come from other stressful past life events as well.
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Pretty sure I've got two suicides in my past. Both resulted in a change of sex after a string of same-sex lives. There was no punishment that I remember, but after the second I do remember tumbling in the darkness, out of control. Looking back I do regret taking my own life both times, I feel sorry for them and the situations I/they were in at the time, they were suffering and felt completely out of control. If I find myself feeling out of control in my current life I remember those past lives and know that it is better to keep trying at life.

For the record I haven't felt suicidal in my current life, and would always encourage anyone who is to seek help. Having taken my own life twice, and knowing people who have lost loved ones to suicide in this life, I am aware of the pain it leaves those left behind, and how it doesn't fix anything for those that leave, you will come across your challenges again in another life.
 
helz_belz said:
For the record I haven't felt suicidal in my current life, and would always encourage anyone who is to seek help. Having taken my own life twice, and knowing people who have lost loved ones to suicide in this life, I am aware of the pain it leaves those left behind, and how it doesn't fix anything for those that leave, you will come across your challenges again in another life.
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Agreed. I have depression in this lifetime and considered suicide once and it would have been a terrible mistake. Things can always get better and I encourage anyone currently feeling the need to take their own life to reconsider and seek help.

I personally don't know what it is like to feel guilt after a suicide or to cause others pain with it, but I am guessing you are right when you say that it fixes nothing. In my case, it was a sort of "screw you". I was about to die anyways and decided I was the only one there who should take my life. It had nothing to do with clinical mood disorders.
 
Angie Brown said:
It reads as if maybe your husband may not have been a bad man. He waited at home in the hope you would return, and asked others to search for you in case you couldn't (were injured) or were confused(?) and didn't want to
When you were taken home, he gave you food. Men often act irritated or angry rather than cry.
It comes across that your grief for your little boy was too deep for you to be able to think straight, and you tried to get through by drinking which made things worse.
I committed suicide in two pl's. There were no consequences other than deep regret and sadness for those I left behind, distressed. If you had another older child at the time, you could have pulled through, but the loss of a precious only child was too much for you to bear. You aren't alone in suicide in those circumstances, even in modern times with all the anti depressants out there. I do feel deeply for you, for what you went through then and that you remember it. I hope you can find a way to resolve it, not blame anyone yourself included and to let it go.
I committed suicide twice in very different circumstances.
The first time, I was a very elderly frail woman in tremendous pain 24/7. The only thing which didn't hurt was my skull. I walked bent, with a stick
One day I was passing along a high grassy rock with a sheer drop. I suddenly made the decision, knowing that my husband and adult son would understand. Unfortunately, the wind carried me out a little way so I landed away from the base instead of straight down. I must have been so lightweight. Due to that, when I was found, my poor husband and son thought I had been murdered by being thrown, and that it must have been a stranger passing by as we knew no one who would harm us. We lived in what looked like an isolated croft.
When I saw their distress I deeply regretted not first going home and finding something to write a few words on. Hardly literate, I could have managed the word 'pain' or something that would have made sense to them. They would have understood, and been able to come to terms with it. I knew that then and know that now
It must have been two or three centuries ago but I still regret not leaving a note.
The second time was due to depression partly due to a failing marriage to a man who felt less for me than I for him. Exacerbated by the use of laudnum that he had introduced me to (for pain) and to which I became addicted. Not so uncommon at that time, about a century and a quarter ago. Again, my punishment is still the grief I caused others and particularly my own flesh and blood family.
So, maybe regret at hurting others is the whole of the punishment, but that shouldn't apply to you in the circumstances of such deep grief.
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Thank you so much, it is very interesting and sad too to read your 2 past life suicide stories. I understand now that the mental or physical pain is so overwhelming why some take their own lives and that the last thing they want to do is hurt their loved ones. I remembered my husband as someone who was physically and mentally fit, just strong really, a survivor. I've experienced both good and bad memories of him. It was an arranged marriage. We both loved the child very much. My mother (in this current life that is) always kept a drawing I did when I was a young child as she tried to pull me out of a nightmare. I drew with a trembling touch one house after the other and explained to her that this was what I saw, that it was a village. I described a type of torture machine built to make the arms and legs longer which created much pain. My mother told me not to worry, that there was no such device. I was describing a scene from the torture room after the high priest, his men and knights had come to the village and I was one of the people on the list and taken. My mother would later tell me she got frighten when I got this way and did not think it was a usual nightmare, but did not know what it was. She was an atheist and I don't think she was familiar with the reincarnation belief. I always dismissed this nightmare as just that - a nightmare. I did not expect the village to come alive in my regression. I was kind of shaken for days after this regression, but am fine now. I hope you live a happy life nowadays with a partner that make you feel just as loved as you love that person in return :)
 
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sortoflikeheaven said:
Thank you so much, it is very interesting and sad too to read your 2 past life suicide stories. I understand now that the mental or physical pain is so overwhelming why some take their own lives and that the last thing they want to do is hurt their loved ones. I remembered my husband as someone who was physically and mentally fit, just strong really, a survivor. I've experienced both good and bad memories of him. It was an arranged marriage. We both loved the child very much. My mother (in this current life that is) always kept a drawing I did when I was a young child as she tried to pull me out of a nightmare. I drew with a trembling touch one house after the other and explained to her that this was what I saw, that it was a village. I described a type of torture machine built to make the arms and legs longer which created much pain. My mother told me not to worry, that there was no such device. I was describing a scene from the torture room after the high priest, his men and knights had come to the village and I was one of the people on the list and taken. My mother would later tell me she got frighten when I got this way and did not think it was a usual nightmare, but did not know what it was. She was an atheist and I don't think she was familiar with the reincarnation belief. I always dismissed this nightmare as just that - a nightmare. I did not expect the village to come alive in my regression. I was kind of shaken for days after this regression, but am fine now. I hope you live a happy life nowadays with a partner that make you feel just as loved as you love that person in return :)
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That machine would have been the rack, and it would have been often used when looking for dissenters (called traitors) and witches.
They had some evil implements to hurt people then, and it was easier to pick on the weakest.

The self-appointed 'Witchfinder General' made his money from the reward for finding witches, so you can imagine the sort of nasty type he was. It makes me both angry and upset to think of the cruelties done to people, in the past and now. I think most people share this empathy with others though, even when we know we can't change it and prevent it happening we wish we could.

I worked voluntarily around (not directly with) victims of torture back in the 80's, helping genuine refugees. I was in the office. Sometimes I would see clients passing by in the corridor, with what I termed 'the veil of fear' in their eyes. The veil would only come down for minutes at a time, if they felt sure they were really safe. Torture did push people to suicide.

I am sorry you have such a horrid memory, and am glad your life now is safe. Do you feel you have been able to emotionally separate from what was done in that pl?
 
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That is so good of you to help victims of torture : ) . I feel kind of silly in a way because nothing like that has ever happened to me in my current life and in a way I don't even know - I mean, I can't prove that this really is a past life of mine, all I can describe is the experience of it. I can distinguish it from my own current life; I had so much anger and depression at the late part, but the person who I am today have never had that (thank God), thanks for asking :) It was strange to go on wikipedia and see the torture device you had named. Before all of this I never watched any type of documentary or movies about witches, what I picked up was at school and I haven't given it much thought back then.
 
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I haven't revealed a past suicide, yet. Though, if I have finally managed to correctly place myself in one (I am an old soul, and have quite the journey of rediscovery ahead of me), then I may have come pretty close. With good reason. And, there were those in the same situation as myself, who did go through with it. As a last resort, a means of escaping the literal hell we were being forced through. Whether it was by 'hunger strike', hanging, or throwing themselves into the electrified barbed-wire fencing, they took that final act out of our captors' hands. One final moment of defiance.

That being said, in this lifetime, I have suffered from suicidal thoughts and depression. I don't know what's kept me going, deep down, despite having 'superficial' coping mechanisms. Maybe, it is the past experience that I am only now uncovering, when my situation was much more dire than my current one. I know how desperate situations can get, and mine is presently nowhere near the absolute bottom. And, I believe that, if I was to take that option, I would not be punished with eternal damnation. I don't so much believe in a Heaven and Hell, as it stands, anyhow. I know that there's something beyond this; reincarnation, and a higher plane for those souls that have learned all they can. For those that keep choosing evil/wrong paths, or refuse to learn lessons? Maybe, they are doomed to keep coming back around and never resting or reaching this aforementioned higher plane. Would I consider suicide an 'evil/wrong' path, though? No, never. Suicide is not wrong. It is either an act of defiance, or a final resort. It is never a wrong or punishable act.
 
yvettebruneau said:
I haven't revealed a past suicide, yet. Though, if I have finally managed to correctly place myself in one (I am an old soul, and have quite the journey of rediscovery ahead of me), then I may have come pretty close. With good reason. And, there were those in the same situation as myself, who did go through with it. As a last resort, a means of escaping the literal hell we were being forced through. Whether it was by 'hunger strike', hanging, or throwing themselves into the electrified barbed-wire fencing, they took that final act out of our captors' hands. One final moment of defiance.

That being said, in this lifetime, I have suffered from suicidal thoughts and depression. I don't know what's kept me going, deep down, despite having 'superficial' coping mechanisms. Maybe, it is the past experience that I am only now uncovering, when my situation was much more dire than my current one. I know how desperate situations can get, and mine is presently nowhere near the absolute bottom. And, I believe that, if I was to take that option, I would not be punished with eternal damnation. I don't so much believe in a Heaven and Hell, as it stands, anyhow. I know that there's something beyond this; reincarnation, and a higher plane for those souls that have learned all they can. For those that keep choosing evil/wrong paths, or refuse to learn lessons? Maybe, they are doomed to keep coming back around and never resting or reaching this aforementioned higher plane. Would I consider suicide an 'evil/wrong' path, though? No, never. Suicide is not wrong. It is either an act of defiance, or a final resort. It is never a wrong or punishable act.
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You are a real fighter, I wish you all the best and hope that any depression and/or suicidal thought won't return to you again in this current life or ever and that you won't ever take your life. From what I could see one rather have broken bones than that kind of mental suffering. Remember you are a loved and precious soul in no matter what current hell you have gone or will go through here on earth; that is what I believe, please take care.
 
sortoflikeheaven said:
That is so good of you to help victims of torture : ) . I feel kind of silly in a way because nothing like that has ever happened to me in my current life and in a way I don't even know - I mean, I can't prove that this really is a past life of mine, all I can describe is the experience of it. I can distinguish it from my own current life; I had so much anger and depression at the late part, but the person who I am today have never had that (thank God), thanks for asking :) It was strange to go on wikipedia and see the torture device you had named. Before all of this I never watched any type of documentary or movies about witches, what I picked up was at school and I haven't given it much thought back then.
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Thank you, but I never did anything wonderful. I only had office skills and knowing that there was a lot of confidential information in the office that as an unknown person volunteering for only a few hours a week I wouldn't be allowed access to, I offered to do the lowest level work so that professionals in the office could get on with the more important and urgent work. Mostly all I was asked to do was to trawl through the weeks worth of daily newspapers and cut out articles (often only a few lines) on changes or coming changes on laws regarding refugees, as well as case law precedants in the high court. It was pre web, and although time consuming was still the best way to keep up to date and maintain a record of changes of law on a weekly basis (the web will have brought more efficient sources). Doing that meant the lady who had done it was more free to keep her other work up to date. I don't fall for every refugee story at all, but at that time gaining refugee status was nigh impossible even for those who had clearly been tortured. Regimes often target civilian intelligentsia such as teachers, medics etc even if they aren't politically active at all. It's a method of instilling great fear and establishing tyranical control over the general populace. So my 'work' was very low level, but I gained a little insight into the world of genuine refugees (the Foundation I was with turned away those they knew were lying - although it seems most who found their way there were genuine victims of the most heinous crimes against humanity and they had the various symptoms and scars to show it).

Sorry I waffled on a bit there.

You aren't silly. It's what you seem to remember, and at such a young age before you knew the rack had even existed. It's good that nothing similar has happened since. One such memory is one more than enough.

What is most important is whether your spirit (the actual you) is healed now. Do you think you have?
 
Angie Brown said:
Thank you, but I never did anything wonderful. I only had office skills and knowing that there was a lot of confidential information in the office that as an unknown person volunteering for only a few hours a week I wouldn't be allowed access to, I offered to do the lowest level work so that professionals in the office could get on with the more important and urgent work. Mostly all I was asked to do was to trawl through the weeks worth of daily newspapers and cut out articles (often only a few lines) on changes or coming changes on laws regarding refugees, as well as case law precedants in the high court. It was pre web, and although time consuming was still the best way to keep up to date and maintain a record of changes of law on a weekly basis (the web will have brought more efficient sources). Doing that meant the lady who had done it was more free to keep her other work up to date. I don't fall for every refugee story at all, but at that time gaining refugee status was nigh impossible even for those who had clearly been tortured. Regimes often target civilian intelligentsia such as teachers, medics etc even if they aren't politically active at all. It's a method of instilling great fear and establishing tyranical control over the general populace. So my 'work' was very low level, but I gained a little insight into the world of genuine refugees (the Foundation I was with turned away those they knew were lying - although it seems most who found their way there were genuine victims of the most heinous crimes against humanity and they had the various symptoms and scars to show it).

Sorry I waffled on a bit there.

You aren't silly. It's what you seem to remember, and at such a young age before you knew the rack had even existed. It's good that nothing similar has happened since. One such memory is one more than enough.

What is most important is whether your spirit (the actual you) is healed now. Do you think you have?
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Hi there, I think your work was still important and you were part in a chain to do good. Everyone matters. I don't think you waffle about, it is interesting to know :) . I think I have.
 
sortoflikeheaven said:
Hi there, I think your work was still important and you were part in a chain to do good. Everyone matters. I don't think you waffle about, it is interesting to know :) . I think I have.
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Thank you for your kind words.

If you no longer feel any personal distress at a memmory, then I would think you have healed - which is a testament to the strength of your spirit. So it's wonderful to read you have. It gives hope that others who were put through the same or similar might heal at least in later carnations.

Best wishes,

Angie
 
Halo said:
I wonder too about my past life. I feel as if I either killed myself by slitting my wrists or someone else did. I always have to put one hand behind my pillow at night and the other always has to be covered by a blanket. I have a weird feeling if someone touches them and I feel sick if they do and immediately start thinking of blood and feel faint.
I tried to do a video as to meditate and get a past life experience but as soon as I got to that part I was blank. Anyone have any suggestions?
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I'm thinking maybe a part of you that suspect your wrists had been slashed is holding back out of fear and unhappiness and that is why it is blank. If you have someone with you in the room that you trust it might help to relax you more if you are now ready, that is. Be aware that the best thing according to my own experiences that is, is to have distance, if you get too emotional the person in the room might help get you to distance whilst still experiencing it; just so you won't be too effected by it, just my suggestion :)
 
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