Waking Up Drained

[Shiftkitty]

Last night I dreamed I was in a forest with a large amount of other people. It's damp and cold, but no snow. We are women, children, and elderly and are being marched by soldiers. They're going to execute us. I can't see the soldiers. I get the feeling you didn't dare look at them or they'd shoot you on the spot. I'm in a wee bit of panic. I don't want to die, but worse, I don't want to die being marched to the slaughter like a lamb. I could make a run for it, make them shoot me and die on my own terms. The problem is that I have picked up a small child, a little girl. She was alone and crying when they started this march. I feared they would kill her so I took her by the hand and said she was mine just to keep her alive.

Nobody knew at the time what was going to happen, and during the dream I felt that we all realized it during the march but most of us were in denial. I wanted to keep her alive. Whatever happened to the adults, no child deserves to die. I have the feeling that her mother is already dead. I am now the only "family" she has. She is my responsibility, a burden I have gladly taken on. I must see her through this. As we walk I test her, see if she can be quiet, if she can obey. She can. She's smart. I tell her quite honestly what the soldiers are going to do, and she trusts me. At one point we pass a hiding spot of some sort. I can't recall if it was thick brushes, a hollow, or what, but we both dove into it. We are not missed. We stay there and after not too long we hear the gun shots begin. We were mere minutes away from the point of no return. She is frightened but quiet. I can see the tears in her eyes. I hug her. It seems to take forever, and we're both very hungry, but the soldiers eventually leave and we emerge.

I woke up from that feeling exhausted. I have no sense of time period or location. I am still a bit drained even as I write this.

 

[hydrolad]

To Shiftkitty:


I am pretty much convinced that this dream pointed to a Past Life of yours and your recollection of it may be related to something happening in this lifetime, but that is just my personal opinion and not as a moderator.


Your motherly concern for a child not even your own is very touching, and it begs the question, do you think that she was a Soul from a Past Life or perhaps a relative now, maybe even a friend.


It would be interesting to find out how this Past lifetime in the dream impacted you in any way, any phobias or fears, any birthmarks, any special talents, that you could trace back to this Past Life.


It is clear to me that this PL made a large impact on you, given the horrible events that transpired and possibly accounted for the feeling of being drained.


Sorry for the direct questions, I realize that the answers may only be possible through a professional regression, a move you may or may not want to do for various reasons.


May your future dreams be peaceful!

 

[Shiftkitty]

I don't know if there was any connection to the child. There may have been, but I don't recall much of family connections from any of my past lives. There was some instinctual feeling that this child was alone and in grave danger and somebody had to step up. I'm almost willing to say that, through the thoughts of whomever that person was, God had placed this child within my sphere of influence to see what I would do. (I'm an atheist this life.) Would I abandon this child in need and look only to my own well-being, or would I accept the burden of a frightened child, a move that could very well jeopardize my own attempts to escape and survive?


As for impacting this current life, it might explain something that I never questioned simply because it was so a part of my core being that I assumed it was natural in everyone; I value very highly the ability to hide, to vanish in a crowd, to become "invisible". When I was a kid, Hide and Seek was my favorite game. I could find the hardest, trickiest spots and could remain silent, even ignoring bug bites, aggravating itches, supressing sneezes, coughs, etc. I value stealth and enjoy sneaking up on my customers in plain sight. "It keeps me in practice", I tell myself. Even when playing video games I prefer to use "swift, silent, and deadly" methods to win.


I don't think I kept the little girl with me. I think I found a safe place for her and may have gone off to join a partisan resistance to whomever the soldiers were from. I preferred, and still do, archaic weapons to guns. I like guns, but an arrow or a bolt is so much quieter. A knife, a sword, no flash, no bang.


I do like movies and stories about resistance fighters and enjoyed reading about the French resistance in WW2, but the more I meditate on this, the more I see Eastern Europe. I have a gap in my memories that might fit WW2, but I would have been a bit young, mid teens, maybe.

 

[Arrant]

Kitty,


Your memories sound very much to me like that of Jews being massacred in Lithuania in WW2, both by German soldiers and Lithuanian police. Before the formulation of the so called "final solution of the Jewish question," such mass killings by machine gun and rifle were common. This would make the most likely time period somewhere between the second half of 1941 and the first half of 1942.


As an aside, you mention you are an atheist in this life. Yet you believe in reincarnation? How do rationalise what, to many of us, must seem contradictory beliefs?

 

[Shiftkitty]

I don't believe in an extracorporeal being sitting in judgement. I believe the soul is pure energy and exists whether or not our physical psyches believe in gods. I don't believe that any guiding power tells us whether or not we are to reincarnate or not. I believe that when we cross over, we tell ourselves whether or not we're going back. It could be to straighten something out, to resolve an issue or two, or it could be because we had so much fun in the last one. One thing is for sure, and that's that we cannot lie to ourselves on the other side of the veil.


I have believed in gods in other lives, and I started this one as Roman Catholic. It never really felt right to me, though. I studied other faiths and tried on a few, but none quite sat right, not even the wonderfully customizable modern paganism. When I started considering atheism I was inspired by Robert Frost: Two paths diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.


I will still refer to God, gods, deities, etc. It's hard to break an ancient cultural habit. I try to be respectful of others' beliefs. But when I refer to God, I'm generally referring to "that which compels us to elevate our state of being".

 

[Arrant]

Shift Kitty,


I'm certainly with you in not believing in a judgementall God, though I cannot conceive of any deity as being anything other than extra-corporeal. The notion of judgement meted out by a wrathful God is at the heart of Catholicism, and I have long subscribed to the belief that orthodox Christianity, supposedly the way to the truth and light, is in large measure responsible for turning people away from a belief in God. Actually, my own conception of God is not unlike that of "The Force" in the Star Wars movies, and is about as far removed from a biblical God as it's possible to get! But nonetheless, a conception of a loving, omniscient, guiding being.

 

[usetawuz]

...when I refer to God, I'm generally referring to "that which compels us to elevate our state of being".

This is where I start...to me everything of which we can conceive is God, along with all that we cannot conceive. Love, through distributed consciousness, makes up the Source of All.


So as I began to type what I thought was my reply, the above is what came...I think I understand it...a little help?!

 

[Shiftkitty]

Whatever we conceive of as "God", I suppose we each find in our own way, in our own time. I sometimes tell my more faithful friends "If God wants me to follow a particular path, He will show me when He is ready, and I will not be able to mistake the sign. Until then, I figure I'm right where He wants me to be."


Sometimes I actually help remind them of the path they're on. In my office I have a sign that simply reads "Psalm 19:14". It's my favorite biblical verse, and a lot of nasty backstabbing and gossip goes on at the lab. I take no part in it, and when they try to bring it around to me, I usually cough and tap the sign. The boss, a very devout man, loves it and finds it ironic that the company atheist is the one quoting Scripture!


(A slight feeling kicked in right now. I love the gentle nudging of a shepherd guiding his flock as opposed to the flashiness of the modern televangelist or the hellfire and brimstone of the likes of Billy Sunday. Some small flicker inside said "That's how you used to do it." Hmm, time for some meditation!)

 

[Arrant]

Some interesting conceptions of God being brought forth, elements of each I find myself in agreement with. When I speak of "God," I always add that "God" is merely a convenient label I use to reference that which, in my opinion, is the unifying, creative force in the universe. I certainly don't think of "God" as being gender specific - the old man with a long flowing white beard, as we tended to conceptualise the supreme being in our school years.


Nonetheless, I personally cannot believe in an afterlife and reincarnation without a belief in God. To me, a cycle of life, death, and re-birth, the frequency and nature of which are entirely self-regulated by the soul with no counsel or guidance from a higher being, would be rather like buying a ticket to travel on a bus with no driver. I don't believe that "higher being" to be God, but a soul more spiritually evolved than oneself, and like oneself progressing toward perfection, the most perfect example of that state actually being God.

 

[usetawuz]

I like what is being said here...I suppose I could clarify some of what I am getting in response. I, too believe there is something which IS...something which could, if it chose to, exercise such power and direction. I do also believe that there is a great amount of autonomy for souls striving to attain that level of advancement enabling it to merge with the All, the Source...a God which somehow IS consciousness.


While I don't have any real sense of personification of God...to me the "Supreme Being" is a level of consciousness so great, so immense, so much more advanced than anything we can conceive that from any possible viewpoint it is incomprehensible to us. I have gotten small vignettes of coming upon something so huge that my mind, even in a very open mental state, reeled from the absolute enormity of what I had found. I was shaking with the sense of awe it invoked simply by my realizing its presence. I have no concept of whether this was Source or not, but if it wasn't, it still left me understanding the smallness of my conscious being, and a sort of a physical inconsequentiality of my existence...yet I still felt I had a value, a substance, a purpose for which I am here.


With that said, I am very comfortable with the idea I carry a small spark from that immense consciousness and hold all that same potential for creation...of course, reduced by a matter of degree! I believe the Christ's statement that we are created in God's image...not physically, but energetically.

 

[starrynight]

Hi Shiftkitty, just going through some older posts. I definately got the feeling this was ww2, probably eastern europe also. I think it was done to Jews frequently there rather than putting them in concentration camps. They even had to dig their own mass graves!


I started having dreams I was convinced related to ww2 and have managed to do loads of research. It's worth reading eveything you can, you get a feeling what's right and not and it should bring about more recall. Good luck.

 

[Mama2HRB]

I remember when my eldest was 2, Shift Kitty. A TV show was on but I wasn't really paying attention to it, I was doing payroll or something. It was just background noise.


She came into the room and stood up on the futon and started hitting me. "They're gonna kill the kids! They're gonna kill the kids!! She was sooo angry and crying and scared all at the same time.


I looked at the TV and there were people marching but I couldn't see anything else. Then I saw the hole .. and the guards .. and well, it was the scene you described.


It took a long time to calm her down. Years later she talked of memories as a Jewish child during the Halocaust. She rarely talks about that life, it really bothers her.


There are several documentaries on the subject on Netflix, Shift Kitty. I only watched one but you might find them helpful. They are hard for me to watch. I try to avoid that subject when I can.

 

[Shiftkitty]

There is a book called "The Holocaust" (not to be confused with the old miniseries "Holocaust"). It was pretty graphic and quite a heavy read. Some of the descriptions made me nauseous. I've also seen plenty of documentaries on the Nazis. What had struck me about the dream, I recall, was that it passed my criteria for being potential PL. First and foremost, it was from a first person point of view. Second, it had all of the sensations and emotions. Third, it all stayed with me for quite some time. In ordinary dreams, say, a dream that was inspired by something I saw in a movie, I will see things from the outside, like I'm watching a movie. Colors will be unusually vibrant and only certain sensations will show up. I usually wake up with little memory of such dreams, only getting more as the day goes by and I just happen to get a flashback to the dream. My possible PL dreams are more like virtual reality. I get PL VR, LOL! (I know, *groan!*cover face)


I should probably look for any site that may have photos of areas where mass graves were found. I think I may actually recognize the spot where we hid if I saw it, assuming the wheels of "progress" haven't plowed it under.