what can I do for my little boy

[riley]

I wrote an earlier post about my little boy being afraid of the "fireman that comes when he shuts his eyes."

It's getting out of control - I have read every book I can find, tried all of the things they said, and I am getting nowhere. Now he says that the fireman cries when he pulls him out of the water and says "no, no no" Then he digs a hole with his pick and puts him into it.

He wakes up every night between 4-5 am and will not fall asleep until 7 - even though we are laying right next to him.

Do you know of anyone who can help me? I am live in MN, am 6 months pregnant and getting NO SLEEP. Can anybody help me? Thank you.

 

[leonaraven]

Hi- It does sound like your son drowned before, is he afraid of water in this life? like taking a bath, shower, swimming. I'm not sure what to tell you to do about it,other than tell him you love him and that you always will. But you need to get at least one good nights sleep, maybe Granma could take him for a night or Daddy could watch him so you can get some sleep. You said you are going to have another baby, did these dreams of his start before you got pg or after? Are the dreams getting whorse as he gets older? I have more guestions than I do answers, so I guess I'm not much help. Will pray for you all and many blessings to you. Leonaraven

 

[deborah]

Hi Riley,

I have a few suggestions that may help.

1). Purchase a BLUE light bulb -- turn this on in his room at night - The calming and healing effect I am told is extraordinary.

2). Sit with your son on a bed facing each other. Two is even old enough to do this. Hold hands and tell him you are going to "share." Have him close his eyes and tell him to imagine or "see" LIGHT --(a lot of children see inner light and think adults do too) -- surrounding him and surrounding mommy. This will magnify a sense of safty for your son.

3). Tell him that this Light is LOVE and will protect him and you. Make the suggestion from a place of LOVE and CONFIDENCE. Children know when your faking it or not sincere.

4). It is important that your son FEEL that mommy is also protected and the LIGHT is a shared experience. Even if you doesn't see Light - you can imagine it and connect to it without actually seeing it.

5). Last thought -- light some incense and suggest to him that the fireman is moving up and out of the house with the smoke.

PLEASE..let me know if any of this works for you. It was highly recommended to me some time ago. Good Luck!

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Love and Light,
Deborah

Lifes experiences weave a tapestry of knowledge




[This message has been edited by Deborah (edited 02-13-2002).]

 

[Kelly]

Hi Riley

Well you’ve already received some great advice…it does seem to look like your son is witnessing his death and burial, but it is obviously becoming very traumatic for him to visualise and experience all the time, as he has been doing.

Deborah’s suggestions are invaluable….making your son realise he is safe and that Mummy understands is probably one of the best things you can do for him as a mother presently. Another thing I thought of on top of the blue light suggested though, is lavendar oil, which is known for it’s calming properties and can either be used in a bath, dabbed on his pillow, or burnt in the room using an oil burner (or incense, where it could be used as Deborah has already suggested).

I know how draining or tiring this must presently be for you, being you are pregnant and not getting an awful lot of sleep, on top of the stress of seeing your own child in this way…but you also have to remember that children are incredibly sensitive to their parents feelings and emotions, so every time you feel the stress and strain, your son could well be feeling it through you as well (along with the baby)…so to be able to have a night free would be great for all of you right now, if as Megan suggested you are able to get someone else – like a family member – to help out a little, so that you can at least get some sleep and relaxation of your own.

Another thought is, whether it would help to have your son sleep in with you presently…he may get a lot less anxious that way and maybe you will both get some much needed rest???

I mailed Carol Bowman last night, to alert her to your thread, in the hope she will get a chance to drop in and add to the advice that has already been given here. My thoughts are with you.


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Lots of Love
Kelly

PS: Maybe I should look at the threads above in future - I see that Carol HAS already answered you in your other thread.



[This message has been edited by Kelly (edited 02-14-2002).]