What IS Compassion?

[I_am_a_dreamer]

I think that compassion is love.


I have a story to tell about this as well. I went to a weekend alchemy workshop over half term, and on the very first day, we all had to draw a word from a pouch. The word I drew was compassion. I said that I felt like it was love. The next day I woke up with a heart-shaped bite on my leg. Extrodinarily heart-shaped.

 

[Aaron]

Going to someone who had the intent harm to you and offering to helping them from their own harm is also true compassion.


Thanks for the inspiration *looks over at someone that posts on this forum and smiles*, and you know who you are.


There are some stories you hear that just warm your heart.


Aaron

 

[PaulAdams]

It is really difficult to talk about compassion.


Let's say first that compassion is not pity or mercy.


It's something more deep, it's something we often (or sadly always) are not capable to see, because we are overwhelmed by our personal problems (work, family, religion).


We are always somewhere else and never focused on what we are doing or where we are or whom we are with.


It is a sort of distraction which is coming from the thought process.


But if we could see what we are deeply, feeling ourselves with every fiber, every cell, we will see the others too, with all thier stuff: tragedy, passion, egoism, evil, judgement and so on.


If we can see the tragedy of separation of everthing, the division between men and the conflict that this division consquently carry on, we can see a different form of love.


Not the passionate love of a "soulmate" which is the expression of the "self" that is the main responsible of our daily and personal dramas, but a different kind of love which means a deep comprehension, a deep understanding of what we really are.


Not the image of my wife, for example (just an example, i don't have a wife :laugh, the image of the jealousy that passion carries. But the simple truth which means no separation, no judgement, no prejudice, no religion.


Religions are the opposite of compassion because every religion is a construction of thought. A consturction based on culture, books, knowledge (which comes from both) and that is not at all the truth. It's like a cards castel. You can lose yourself in.


Freedom from schematics, from knowledge, from fear (fear is also the opposite of compassion) and so on, brings you to it.


When and if we see compassion we feel lighter and free and we can see things for what they are and not for what we think they are.


If we have the intelligence to get away from a physical danger like a car or a train coming to us, why aren't we able to do the same for the rest? Are we able to recognize a danger, psychologically, and do the necessary action?


Or are we trapped in the storm of thought that prevents us from seeing a danger real like a truck coming in our direction?


This is compassion. It's just something we don't see.

 

[Lauren]

WOW Paul, what you wrote moved me (not just the quote, but your whole post)...

It's something more deep, it's something we often (or sadly always) are not capable to see, because we are overwhelmed by our personal problems (work, family, religion).

Agreed... in addition to that I'd say that it is about feeling. Feeling compassion, knowing innately what it is and letting the vibration of the word itself and it's meaning engulf us. To feel it is to know it. And, it starts with an accepting of ourselves. Fully, wholly, completely.
We talk about giving ourselves to love wholly and completely. Love encompasses compassion, for to love completely we must also posess compassion. The understanding, forgiveness, unconditional positive regard, empathy, imperfection... an acceptance and awareness of everyting good and not so good equally, along with a dash of willingness to learn and grow.


.........................

 

[wrinkle]

The previous posts on compassion were so beautifully written. :thumbsup: I am getting to understand what true compassion means more each and every day. It is hard most of the time to feel compassionate towards the people that hurt me - don't get me wrong, I'm not even close to perfection. However, I did discover the awesome power that compassion has.


I guess I would sum it up this way: I used to feel pity towards people when I was sorry for their predicament and secretly or not so secretly declared myself more lucky/worthy than them. I felt empathy when I could feel their pain, when I felt that we were in the same boat. With compassion, however, I more and more discover, that we really are one and the same. Your pain really is my pain too.


Funny thing is, I worked on my compassion towards the people that really did me and my family harm (for example, my father was killed in a war and my town leveled) then towards my husband and my current family in every day situations. Then I thought to myself, there is something wrong with this picture. Why am I feeling more compassion towards murderers than towards my husband who fails to do the dishes? That really got me thinking. I knew intuitively that the compassion was the answer rather than hate when it came to terrible atrocity, but to apply compassion in everyday life is for me the most recent discovery. I'm glad to report that it does work wonders in my relationships.


Anyways, I'm glad you asked. This is one of my favorite topics.

 

[Ailish]

Welcome wrinkle,


Thank you for your thoughtful post. It's so true that compassion often seems to come easier in the wake of atrocity than in the "little things."


It seems that we’re quite often less compassionate and less patient with those we love. Perhaps because we know that they will forgive us easily. Where there is love - there is forgiveness.


As imperfect humans who struggle with negative and limiting emotions, bad days and stress at work, we can all benefit from the reminder to apply compassion in everyday life.


Thank you!


Ailish

 

[tanguerra]

We are always somewhere else and never focused on what we are doing or where we are or whom we are with.
It is a sort of distraction which is coming from the thought process...But if we could see what we are deeply, feeling ourselves with every fiber, every cell, we will see the others too, with all thier stuff: tragedy, passion, egoism, evil, judgement and so on...

A terrific thread, with some terrific thoughts.


In Ailish's original question, she mentioned that sometimes she feels anger occasionally in response to some of life's misfortunes, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that, on occasion, as long as the feeling of anger is swiftly replaced by compassion. None of us is perfect. That's life.


Compassion is learned the hard way, I think. It's a very advanced lesson and it's not easy (impossible?) to feel it all the time while we inhabit a living, breathing, body (not unless you want to spend your life meditating in a cave).


These are my thoughts on the nature of compassion (from my book, which I'm supposed to be working on ) I think it lies somewhere between all these things:


Compassion


Compassion is an expression of devotion. Compassion means to reach out and share or at least acknowledge the suffering of others. To have compassion is to put oneself in someone else’s shoes and try to understand as much as possible how they are feeling and why they might behave the way they do.


Sometimes it is not about you. Compassion helps us to understand this. Compassion is to put aside selfish concerns and empathise with others, their cares, concerns and troubles. Compassion and respect go hand in hand. Respecting oneself and others puts everyone on an equal footing. Respecting the opinions of others, even though they may differ from our own, will combat fear and defensiveness, righteousness and antagonism. Thoughts and actions expressing tenderness and concern, motivated by care and consideration for others, will go a long way towards creating more love in our lives. Obviously.

 

[Alexius]

Compassion


It could be said that compassion is love in its ‘active’ sense. However, what is often meant by ‘love’ can often be ambiguous at best. (‘Love is not infatuation or desire; it is unconditional and complete and can only be expressed by the actualization of the will).


The most concise description of compassion ‘co-suffering’ or the ‘solidarity of suffering’. This is not being seen to be kind; it is not kissing babies or helping old ladies across the street. It is fighting a battle to which the entirety of existence is subject and the outcome dependent on courage brought about by understanding and self-mastery.:thumbsup:


See: “Bodhisattva”


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bodhisattva