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Does anyone else struggle with a reversal of mother/daughter?

Jadeswan

Jadeswan

New Member
I am almost convinced that my six year old daughter was my mother in a past life and let me tell you, sometimes she is royally tee'd off to have the shoe on the other foot. She'll say things like "Don't you contradict me" or "You need to stop trying to boss me around." Some of it is ordinary kid stuff, I'm sure, but she seems to resent the very fact of my authority no matter how gently and respectfully I try to approach her. She just falls in to trying to tell me how to do things and when I need to do them as if it's an old habit. The other day she told me she hated me and I asked her why. She said, "Well, you said you hated me." Now I have never told her I hate her (in this life) and I said so. She insisted I had. She said,"You said, 'I hate you, Mama.'" That hit me like a jolt. I probably should have approached it more carefully but I just blurted out, "Was that in a past life?" She smiled in a funny prim kind of way, sort of like "now you finally get it" and said,"Yes, it was in a past life." I'm still not quite sure what to make of it. She may have just been trying to get under my skin but it sure would explain a lot of things if we did indeed share a past life where she was the mother and I was the unruly daughter. It would even explain why it bugs me so much when she tries to tell me what to do. Sure, it would be annoying anyway but if we have a past of conflict, that would really explain why I have such strong feelings as well.

Has anyone else experienced this and how did you handle it? Were you able to find out more about that life or did it remain a mystery?
 
HI Jadeswan,


Welcome. I enjoy reading your posts. :coffee: I have one small input here - besides yes...been there done that with my kids.


Instead of asking her "Was this in a past life?" Which takes away from her innocent response. Ask her instead "When was this?" Her answer then comes from a place of knowing - herself and helps you get honest responses.
 
Thank you, Deborah. I understand that my response was not the best one. As I said, it just popped out. I realized afterward I should have said something differently. I actually had asked her a little earlier in the conversation when she thought I had said I hated her and she said "today." Her emotion about it was obviously very immediate and I think that affected her perception of when it happened.


I will try to be more careful next time. I am very new to the whole idea of reincarnation and all my reactions are very visceral at this point.
 
Hi Jadeswan,


You might find the information in this link comes in handy if you didn't know it already. It doesn't specify the the 'role reversal' scenario that you mentioned, but it does give some useful tips for parents of children who remember their past lives. Hope it helps :)
 
If you ever get a chance to read Carol Bowman's second book, "Return From Heaven", you'll find a wonderful chapter entitled, "Mother Switching" on page 89.


Sometimes, I get the feeling that my older son might have been a grandfather that I've never met; because he can be the most bossy so-and-so. Pickey...pickey...pickey! :laugh:
 
I feel as though I might have been my mother's parent in another life. I have no memories or evidence to back this up. It is just a feeling that I have.
 
Hello Jadeswan,


On the only other message board I occasionally visit, I found something recently that reminds me of your post. The board has nothing to do with reincarnation but one of the posters related this experience:

"My daughter when she was young... seemed incredibly puzzled that I was HER mom - she was certain she was supposed to be the mom. This went on for years, including her quizzing me on what baby food I'd want when I was the baby again and refusing to give up her toddler bed because I'd need it when I was the baby. Finally one day I sat her down and said, "Remember, we decided in this lifetime it was MY turn to be the mommy?" She was about five years old and she looked at me like "Well, THAT was a stupid decision on my part!" but it must have made sense to her soul because from then on, she accepted I got to be the mom. Not that she doesn't fuss over me ... but she's quit trying to make it official."
Click to expand...
 
Nightrain1 said:
If you ever get a chance to read Carol Bowman's second book, "Return From Heaven", you'll find a wonderful chapter entitled, "Mother Switching" on page 89.
Sometimes, I get the feeling that my older son might have been a grandfather that I've never met; because he can be the most bossy so-and-so. Pickey...pickey...pickey! :laugh:
Click to expand...
I have to get that book! :)


Ha, ha, your son sounds like my daughter. She is always talking about all the children she has/had---sometimes it's past tense, sometimes present. She usually says either twelve or eighteen and I can believe it. She is just the type of woman to keep a huge family running smoothly. Poor thing, she hardly knows what to do with just little brother and mom to boss around.
 
Truthseeker, I feel as if I was in some sort of caretaker capacity to my mother in a past life as well, although I get the feeling that she may have been my disabled husband. I don't have any memories of that life---mine is just a feeling too but it sure would explain a lot.


Huancaya, thank you for sharing that! Last time my daughter was trying to boss me around I tried telling her we had decided I would be the mom in this life. She kept saying, "No, we didn't!" Finally she calmed down and---can you believe it?---said, "Well, then I was stupid." I wasn't sure how to respond to that. Sigh....
 
Jadeswan,


I understand completely. I have a bossy three year old that used to be my grandmother. You can imagine the looks I get when the little stinker calls me by my first name in public. I'm convinced she does it purposefully to put me in my place.


I make a point of stopping and listening to her opinions, even when she is only rationalizing why she should be allowed to watch tv all day. Then I explain to her why we need to do things my way. What has made the biggest impression on her was when I told her that she is only one part of our family. I pointed out a few examples of when we did things her way and then told her it was now time to do things my way for a while. She is learning about taking turns right now, so I am sure that helped reinforce the idea.
 
I am convinced my 10 yr old daughter was my mother in a past life. I have had a similar relationship where she is always trying to be in charge. As a toddler she’d try to tell me what to do such as ordering directions from the backseat of them car (usually incorrectly). And when I punish her she will refuse to accept her punishment, which usually results in more. She is strong willed and stubburn but there’s something more to my relationship w her. When she was born I just knew that i knew her! And I’ve always felt a tension with her. I have been a different mom to her than I have my other two children. I have always loved her but yet day to day loving on her in a motherly way is so much more work. So Here’s the clincher.... I have accidentally called her “mom” at LEAST a dozen times in the last few years. Most recently I was talking to my other daughter (my middle child) and said “mom wants you to help clean up the mess you made in her room”....oops! I mean Mady, your sister. I have never done past life regression. I did hypnosis once many years ago and it scared me so I never went back. Maybe now I’m ready?
 
Welcome Amanda! I hope that you find success in your quest of understanding. Have you had other experiences that have contributed to your open mindedness toward reincarnation?
 
KenJ said:
Welcome Amanda! I hope that you find success in your quest of understanding. Have you had other experiences that have contributed to your open mindedness toward reincarnation?
Click to expand...

Hello! Thank you for your warm welcome! I grew up in a very open minded family. Initially we attended the Christian Science church ( not to be confused w Scientology....Christian scientist have never been known to jump on couches) but when i was 5 we left the church bc my mom was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer and she wanted so badly to survive. She attacked cancer with everything she could, surgery and chemotherapy (against the Christian Science church teachings....they avoided doctors and medical treatment because they believed that with prayer one could be the human reflection of God) Meditation, prayer, positive thought, and lots of literature (my mom was an English major). Lucky for me she’s still kicking (and frequently nagging me) at 70 years old!!! I feel so fortunate to have my mom and we live close by. Anyway when we left the Christian Science church we joined the most liberal “christianish” church in town. Our church was known for welcoming gays (back in the mid-late 80’s) and occasionally having budhist monks visit to “hum”. It was a wonderfully open minded and accepting upbringing. As a family we also have travelled the world (although I have traveled much less than my parents and brother I still revel in their international travels). Most recently my mom came back from a 2 week travel in India, her 4th time visiting a country that draws her in and makes her feel kindred (and if you knew her you would not guess this, she hates spicy food and is a touch snooty).
I have believed in past lives for many years (as long as I can remember) but haven’t put much thought into it in the last few years until recently. My 7 and 10 yr old daughters found a book “children’s past lives” and have asked me to read it to them at bedtime. We’re about 1/6th in. I have never really talked to them about reincarnation (other than singing Galileo by Indigo Girls....love that song). But come to find out they both believe in it. Despite the fact that my catholic husband and I have settled in on raising them as Lutherans (accepting of gays, more assertive in women’s rights, more progressive....and for me here’s the kicker: as an adult, WAY more easy to join than catholisism). The Lutheran church has offered a nice nuetral ground from our upbringings. And I do encourage them to go to Catholic service with their gramma whenever possible bc I want them to know,understand, and respect their heritage. Anyway it’s an interesting situation as the girls and I were discussing reincarnation tonight w my parents and we had a great conversation. But I’ve silenced them in a way saying they “cant tell their friends”. And they surely can’t tell their paternal grandma as it will b deeply disturbing. We’re in the Midwest and this is a radical idea. I don’t want them to be socially/emotionally impacted by a viewpoint/believe that I brought upon them regardless of whether it is right or wrong.
 
What a very interesting discussion. I don't really have any specific details about the past life or lives concerned, but I have suspected that I may have been my mother's parent in at least one of our past lives, if not my father's as well. I was cast in an emotional caretaking role to them both as a young person in this life, and they are often very childlike in their behaviour, particularly my mother. Sometimes as a teenager I found myself fighting the temptation to tell her to sit down and be quiet, or to stop behaving in an immature way. Tbh I felt quite weary, as I was a more reserved person and she drained me, not to mention feeling odd about the seeming reversal of our positions. I wished she could just grow up and be a mother instead of feeling like my child or my overexcited little sister.

There have also been times when I have believed that she and I could have both been my father's children in a past life. There certainly seem to be some relationship behaviours that look like they might have been carried over into this life from previous ones, but I hope to try regression some day to see if anything comes up that would confirm this and what the actual relationships were that we all had then.
 
After submitting my post, I just realised that there are a few people who have been in positions of authority in my current life whom I get a vibe from that they could have been my children in previous lives - two are my parents, but the other two are actually bosses that I have had. To make it even more weird, the bosses both had the same first names that I used to say as a young person that I wanted to call a son and a daughter if I had them... right down to the male boss always being referred to by his correct name "Joseph" and never "Joe" within his family (I had specified earlier that I wouldn't want people to shorten my son's name to "Joe" either).

Perhaps that's a discussion for another thread, though :)
 
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