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"Guiding Spirit" said I was a bad person in past life

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lighthouse

Banned by Moderators
I've lived my current life courageously, strong, and honestly. I've been as good as I can possibly be. And despite it, people have treated me like I am evil and worthless; I've experienced no justice, and I don't feel like God loves me in even the slightest. I spoke to "God" or whatever people call this spirit, and it said I was a bad person in my past life. I am now filled with endless, and I mean unending and tumultuously prevailing rage at our higher power. At first I used to believe in goodness, and that if we were good people, good things would prevail. Now I am essentially told that nothing I do matters; no matter what I've done, it doesn't matter. All will never be rewarded, and exists purely to make others happy without recompense because "somebody, who isn't me, did something bad".

I am so violently filled with rage. I feel falsely accused, and demonized; it's the same feeling you would have if anyone treated you unjustly, and defamed or indignified you and falsely accused you. I am left feeling like I am trapped in a worthless universe not worth existing in; this has haunted me for over 10 years and it isn't getting better, I am getting more and more angry.

Nothing I've ever done means anything. Nobody who has ever wronged me, will ever be penalized; whatever "God" is, has decided to scapegoat me on behalf of a dead person who doesn't exist, and who isn't me, and something I've never done and there is nothing I can about it. I do not want to cry "suicide", but I often feel like it is the only solution. I don't see any reason to live on. I am in a disgusting existence that scapegoats innocent people on behalf of deceased "past lives", that have nothing to do with us. There is no gratitude, no love, no kindness, no apologies, no fairness, nothing; just cold callous endless hatred and penalty for being good for me. And, no, there is no reason to live anymore. I think reincarnation is an evil concept, and whatever higher beings dreamed this psychotic practice up are the most evil beings that could ever possibly exist.

Please help. I used to have dignity; instead I have non-stop rage about life, whatever "God" is, at myself and I just want to end it all. It's disgusting. It feels like I am being tortured and tormented by wicked beings getting off on excusing their evil acts toward me. I wasn't a bad person before, and I am not now, but I by no means love "God" or the universe anymore.I don't like life and I have no interest looking forward to anything. I'm being accused and mistreated because "somebody" who died and isn't me, did something. It's crushed my self-esteem, peace of mind, gratitude, and hope. No amount of words will change it.
 
I wish I could help you, but all I can do is suggest you either reframe this or question the source a little more. Have you heard of Karma? This is the idea that your past life actions, if a person is bad, for example, you must feel the other side of the coin. So if someone is evil, they will have to experience what it is like to be the victim of evil. This is the simple version. Try digging into karma a bit and see if that helps. I am sorry you are filled with rage.
 
lighthouse said:
Now I am essentially told that nothing I do matters; no matter what I've done, it doesn't matter. All will never be rewarded, and exists purely to make others happy without recompense because "somebody, who isn't me, did something bad".
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I can sympathise with your position. What seems like a long time ago now, I went through a similar (though not the same) period of great difficulty and anguish.

From a distance of some years now, what I can say is this. What you're going through is not permanent. It is like the night time or the winter. Eventually night brightens into day, winter gives way to spring and summer.

It may seem easy and trivial for me to say these things. Nevertheless, to get through this world, it is necessary to trust, to retain hope that there is goodness in this world and that you are entitled to belong inside that goodness. Please don't lose hope.
 
Hi Lighthouse,
I understand your anger. It's not easy to live your life and events beyond your control disrupt your plans over and over again. Sounds like the story of my life too. Unlike other members here, I totally reject Karma. It's a concept that I disagree with and in my opinion, this idea was made to control the behaviors of living people in the past.
The best thing about reincarnation is to be able to make fresh starts. Punishments for decisions once made in a past life shouldn't be made effective in this life. I don't wish anything bad to any of my former wrongdoers. I don't care for punishments and consequently, I don't believe that my misfortune has anything to do with me being a bad person in the past.
Sometimes, misfortune helps us to go in a direction that suits us better than before. Sometimes, it's a mystery why things happen the way they do. We are not the only ones though. To be honest, I can't think of a person that didn't get hit by the mill at least once in their life. It helps growing older, so you can see more perspectives. For example, my sister is wealthier than I am, more luck, and fewer problems. Then, her husband died much too young, left her as a widow, and then her only child left and doesn't want any contact anymore with her (they both grieved differently and that escalated). No matter what numbers on your bank account, those things are devastating.

There is one thing that caught my attention in your post. You talked about rewards for being a good human. I don't think that works that way either. In my opinion, those thoughts trouble your sight of life. You should do good things, just because they are the logical things to do. Your decisions are your unique expressions to celebrate your soul. Not to get rewards from outside sources. And good vs not good always depends on your position in life. It is absolutely impossible to always be the good guy/girl. It's good to have morals and guidelines in life but they do not match with other people's values (and they might be 'good' people as well).

I guess if you currently live with people that don't appreciate you the way you are (maybe because of racism, or toxic family members), then you should consider moving to another place and starting all over again. Difficult step but certainly worth the effort.
 
fireflydancing said:
Hi Lighthouse,
I understand your anger. It's not easy to live your life and events beyond your control disrupt your plans over and over again. Sounds like the story of my life too. Unlike other members here, I totally reject Karma. It's a concept that I disagree with and in my opinion, this idea was made to control the behaviors of living people in the past.
The best thing about reincarnation is to be able to make fresh starts. Punishments for decisions once made in a past life shouldn't be made effective in this life. I don't wish anything bad to any of my former wrongdoers. I don't care for punishments and consequently, I don't believe that my misfortune has anything to do with me being a bad person in the past.
Sometimes, misfortune helps us to go in a direction that suits us better than before. Sometimes, it's a mystery why things happen the way they do. We are not the only ones though. To be honest, I can't think of a person that didn't get hit by the mill at least once in their life. It helps growing older, so you can see more perspectives. For example, my sister is wealthier than I am, more luck, and fewer problems. Then, her husband died much too young, left her as a widow, and then her only child left and doesn't want any contact anymore with her (they both grieved differently and that escalated). No matter what numbers on your bank account, those things are devastating.

There is one thing that caught my attention in your post. You talked about rewards for being a good human. I don't think that works that way either. In my opinion, those thoughts trouble your sight of life. You should do good things, just because they are the logical things to do. Your decisions are your unique expressions to celebrate your soul. Not to get rewards from outside sources. And good vs not good always depends on your position in life. It is absolutely impossible to always be the good guy/girl. It's good to have morals and guidelines in life but they do not match with other people's values (and they might be 'good' people as well).

I guess if you currently live with people that don't appreciate you the way you are (maybe because of racism, or toxic family members), then you should consider moving to another place and starting all over again. Difficult step but certainly worth the effort.
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I very much agree with you. Karma doesn't make sense; it makes no sense for an evil person to suffer no consequences, then to torture a good person in the next life while more evil triumphs and prevails at the expense of said good person. What this would mean is that God has created a world where evil triumphs, and good people are collateral. It would even vindicate evil and make it okay, because "they're giving you karma". Which then makes it even more confusing ... Because, if evil is vindication against past karma, then why would our "evil previous incarnations" be any different?

None of it makes sense.

"Being bad is always bad. You will not be punished as a bad person. You will reincarnate into a good person and we will torture the good person instead. When bad people torture this good person, we will allow it and not punish it because being bad is okay in this circumstance. Being bad in your previous life was not okay, though, it was different somehow. Being good is the best!"

As for being rewarded for doing good, I mean that I have labored much in my life and been robbed. My work was stolen, and I was exploited in poverty even used like a slave. I deserve to be recompensed.

Thanks so much for your response, it is really helpful!
 
lighthouse said:
I very much agree with you. Karma doesn't make sense; it makes no sense for an evil person to suffer no consequences, then to torture a good person in the next life while more evil triumphs and prevails at the expense of said good person. What this would mean is that God has created a world where evil triumphs, and good people are collateral. It would even vindicate evil and make it okay, because "they're giving you karma". Which then makes it even more confusing ... Because, if evil is vindication against past karma, then why would our "evil previous incarnations" be any different?

None of it makes sense.

"Being bad is always bad. You will not be punished as a bad person. You will reincarnate into a good person and we will torture the good person instead. When bad people torture this good person, we will allow it and not punish it because being bad is okay in this circumstance. Being bad in your previous life was not okay, though, it was different somehow. Being good is the best!"

As for being rewarded for doing good, I mean that I have labored much in my life and been robbed. My work was stolen, and I was exploited in poverty even used like a slave. I deserve to be recompensed.

Thanks so much for your response, it is really helpful!
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I don't believe in karma either, mostly because of similar reasons as well as personal experience.

I also have serious issues with the idea of soul contracts. I've known too much suffering both of myself and of others. I can't believe that people choose to have abusive parents, be raped, have depression, live a life that amounts to nothing, etc. It especially bothers me whenever I see people talk about traumatic issues and people who believe in soul contracts respond with "you are growing, you need these experiences to pay off karma" and I find it really dismissive and disrespectful.

I just believe whatever happens just happens and you can't do much about it except for making choices for yourself.
 
melon04 said:
I don't believe in karma either, mostly because of similar reasons as well as personal experience.

I also have serious issues with the idea of soul contracts. I've known too much suffering both of myself and of others. I can't believe that people choose to have abusive parents, be raped, have depression, live a life that amounts to nothing, etc. It especially bothers me whenever I see people talk about traumatic issues and people who believe in soul contracts respond with "you are growing, you need these experiences to pay off karma" and I find it really dismissive and disrespectful.

I just believe whatever happens just happens and you can't do much about it except for making choices for yourself.
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It is beyond insane that people would justify child abuse and torture to dismiss it so they can get on with themselves. I find those who believe in these sorts of ideas have never truly been tortured or endured such things.

I've watched the first-hand effects of those who undergo extreme lifelong child abuse, and further into adulthood as they enter life with wounds and vulnerability, no protection, and little to no guidance. It does not inspire them to love life or others more; it may scare them into treating others more cautiously, but it isn't mending the human spirit or inspiring love. It simply erases them and turns them into peons rife with torture and incapacitated from being able to participate properly if they do not commit suicide first.

There is nothing beneficial to telling people that child abuse was deserved, that pedophilia is an act of love from karmic debts and "bad people who are helping the child cleanse its soul by violating and soiling its mind with filth". The only karma that would be good karma, is to bless those who've been unfortunately victimized, and to rehabilitate (not torture with tough love) souls into incarnations that foster goodness rather than exploit it.

There is nothing beneficial to telling people that they've acquired a disease to cleanse themselves, or that they're getting surgery so "the surgeons who harmed them in a past life can pay a debt for having harmed them in a past life". It's ludicrous nonsense, and logic that would make sense purely in astral realms not in reality.

Some of the explanations of karma are amusing; that's it. They're extremely amusing, and I find people using half-logics that are extremely amusing to somehow replace common sense. "You are very amused by my tale, so therefore you know I speak deep esoteric truths!" No, I'm amused not inspired to accept this logic.
 
I wrote a post here about talking with Spirit and Spirit Guides here. https://reincarnationforum.com/threads/please-guide.9267/#post-123386

However, if the above link doesn’t work, I wrote:

“Only way to find out is to challenge him (the Spirit Guide/visitor). If he becomes angry or upset that you are challenging him, he’s not True Spirit. If he is True Spirit, he wont mind or really care that you are challenging him, and understand.

I’ve challenged mine a lot when I feel fear and or doubt. They don’t care because they understand why I’m challenging them. True Spirit have nothing to hide.”

Spirit Guides are ‘pre-planned’ when you plan your lifetime here in the ‘physical’. My guides deliberately tell me wrong things sometimes, but that’s for me personally to stop asking them for the answers all the time and make me think about it. They don’t do it to be a pain or annoying, they do it to make me think about said question I’ve asked them.

However, would Spirit tell you that you were a horrible person? Possibly, so you could learn from your mistakes in that lifetime and not repeat them in this lifetime. The emotional weight that surfaced with said emotions or memories can be one of extreme anger and grief but one must NEVER hurt another soul/person with this. I’ve had two lifetimes where history has made me out to be a ‘bad, evil person’ - hey, I even still have a ‘nickname’ the Slavs gave me in 1941 (‘The Butcher of Prague’) but I was ANYTHING but, and did my duty not to harm, but to teach a lesson to those souls who planned it. Historians see it differently.

But what do I know? *shrugs shoulders* I’m just the soul who lived out those lifetimes, know the truth and who cares what others think. The most important thing is how does it make YOU feel - your present self feel? Not the emotions from your past life persona, but how YOU feel about having the emotional weight to these memories as a ‘new physical’ person?

Eva x
 
Eva1942 said:
I wrote a post here about talking with Spirit and Spirit Guides here. https://reincarnationforum.com/threads/please-guide.9267/#post-123386

However, if the above link doesn’t work, I wrote:

“Only way to find out is to challenge him (the Spirit Guide/visitor). If he becomes angry or upset that you are challenging him, he’s not True Spirit. If he is True Spirit, he wont mind or really care that you are challenging him, and understand.

I’ve challenged mine a lot when I feel fear and or doubt. They don’t care because they understand why I’m challenging them. True Spirit have nothing to hide.”

Spirit Guides are ‘pre-planned’ when you plan your lifetime here in the ‘physical’. My guides deliberately tell me wrong things sometimes, but that’s for me personally to stop asking them for the answers all the time and make me think about it. They don’t do it to be a pain or annoying, they do it to make me think about said question I’ve asked them.

However, would Spirit tell you that you were a horrible person? Possibly, so you could learn from your mistakes in that lifetime and not repeat them in this lifetime. The emotional weight that surfaced with said emotions or memories can be one of extreme anger and grief but one must NEVER hurt another soul/person with this. I’ve had two lifetimes where history has made me out to be a ‘bad, evil person’ - hey, I even still have a ‘nickname’ the Slavs gave me in 1941 (‘The Butcher of Prague’) but I was ANYTHING but, and did my duty not to harm, but to teach a lesson to those souls who planned it. Historians see it differently.

But what do I know? *shrugs shoulders* I’m just the soul who lived out those lifetimes, know the truth and who cares what others think. The most important thing is how does it make YOU feel - your present self feel? Not the emotions from your past life persona, but how YOU feel about having the emotional weight to these memories as a ‘new physical’ person?

Eva x
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I feel very angry about it. I have no idea what this soul did; it isn't me. It has nothing to do with me. I guess if it was good karma I might be feeling differently, and I might say "I did such and such in a past life". But as it stands, being that I was accused of malice, the reality of the delusion of karma is undeniable and has been made clear to me. — Point blank, good or bad, I did not do those things. I have no recollection of it; whoever's body it was, belonged to a different house, a different life, a different family, a different ethnicity probably, sometimes different genders, a different personality, a different set of memories and agendas, a different environment and different life.

No. I did not do those things. I asked about it because I endured a lot of abuse in my life, and on a whim I asked after studying Hinduism and other new age beliefs discussing karma. The spirit claimed, to sum it up, "I was bad in a past life". Give me a break; I did not exist in a past life. Whatever this soul is, is not me. It's nonphysical, intangible, it has memories out the wazoo, a different personality, and different experiences.

Karma sounds like scapegoating and unearned bragging. People who haven't achieved something, can claim to have done all kinds of things they didn't do and use it to lord themselves over strangers without putting in a single effort. People who are bad can justify harming good people because "karma". And people who are good, hardworking, and talented can have their credit and reputations stolen, defamed, and tarnished in the name of "past life karma".

There are few things more absurd than tarnishing valuable people over "unseen invisible forgotten intangible connections to previous personalities having nothing to do with said person", and "glorifying those who've lived slothfully or who want credit for doing nothing by claiming pastlife credit". It's absurd.

I feel angry about it, because no "friend who is a Spirit Guide" would tell someone going through abuse that "you were a bad person" and ask them to be a victim, a scapegoat, and to wallow over something they've never done. It's psychotic to do that to anyone.

"OH NO YOU DID LIVE THOSE PAST LIVES!!!" Really? Prove it. I was born decades ago. I did not live any of these alleged experiences; trying to hold a whole human-being accountable to some "invisible soul who is far beyond you" is outright abuse. I feel angry about it. It's ridiculous, foul, and beyond manipulative and evil.
 
I'm close to @fireflydancing on the subject of karma here. Mostly I reject it, there are a lot of misunderstandings about the impact of past lives on our present. Perhaps my view is that the past can leave wounds or injuries to our deeper self. This does not imply guilt or responsibility - often it is the innocent who suffer in one life and bring scars from the past with them into the present. In that sense, those who were unfortunate victims of something not of their own making in a past life may bring those pains with them and unfortunately find themselves suffering in the present too. That is pretty much an opposite interpretation to the common ideas about karma.

However, and this is where my own experience come in, at some point the question of who is or was to blame (ourselves or someone/something else) becomes a distraction. The real question, one which I faced myself, is how to move on, how to leave those things behind, regardless of whether we talk of present-life or past-life problems, moving beyond our difficulties, how to heal, how to mend oneself, those were my main problems. When I say problem, I mean I did not know what to do or how to progress.

Eventually, at breaking point with no other direction to turn, I tried prayer. I should add I'm not religious and at that time did not even believe in God. Neverthess, I decided to pray, to ask for help with something which was too much for me to deal with. To my surprise, it brought results. Nothing dramatic like flashing lights or a roar of thunder. But by the next day everything seemed much lighter, the burden seemed to lift, whatever was weighing me down was gone. That doesn't mean that was the end of things, it was just a setting off in a new, brighter direction. My pains from the past remained, and I realised, partly from some of the books on various types of psychotherapy including unconventional kinds, I realised that it did not matter who or what was the cause of my pains, but nevertheless the way forward was not through avoidance, but through feeling those things.


That's where things will be different for each person. We all have different experiences and events happening to us, so the ways in which we may be damaged by them will be different too. Anyway, I decided to simply accept whatever I was feeling, without judgement. There was no guilt, just a willingness to accept those feelings and allow them to be felt and released. For me this involved great emotion, things which are not really possible to describe. The important thing is that afterwards I felt incredibly light and free. This was a process which was repeated, with gradually decreasing intensity, over a period of many many days.


To sum up I'd say from my perspective, forget about things like guilt or innocence, forget karma. Simply accept whatever it is you are feeling. Think only of how to heal, how to be mended.
 
lighthouse said:
I endured a lot of abuse in my life
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I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you are old enough to break away from those people.

lighthouse said:
But as it stands, being that I was accused of malice, the reality of the delusion of karma is undeniable and has been made clear to me. — Point blank, good or bad, I did not do those things. I have no recollection of it; whoever's body it was, belonged to a different house, a different life, a different family, a different ethnicity probably, sometimes different genders, a different personality, a different set of memories and agendas, a different environment and different life.
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There is a reason for amnesia: we can start all over again.


lighthouse said:
Karma sounds like scapegoating and unearned bragging.
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High Five!! It can be even worse, it can be institutionalized in a society, think about the caste system in India. When you're born a Brahman, you get all the advantages of life. When you're born in a low cast, you deserve to stay miserable your entire life, after all, it's your own fault for not living righteously in your past life. The concept of Karma was all about power and remaining power to the caste of priests. Simple as that.
The only way to break out is to get reborn in a completely different society/culture in my opinion. Unfortunately, these ideas became adopted overseas and Karma became a kind of consensus in recent spiritual circles all over the World. Weird.
lighthouse said:
The spirit claimed, to sum it up, "I was bad in a past life".
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OK, what's the story behind this? What spirit? Have you heard them saying this to you or did someone else (so-called channel) tell you this?

Eva1942 said:
Only way to find out is to challenge him (the Spirit Guide/visitor). If he becomes angry or upset that you are challenging him, he’s not True Spirit. If he is True Spirit, he wont mind or really care that you are challenging him, and understand.
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I agree. Personally, I have never met any judgment from the other side. Good and bad are binary concepts that typically belong to living a life on Earth. From a higher perspective, it is impossible to define 'good' or 'bad'.

Just my opinion:
1. Imagine that there was no Free Will during our lives and some higher power had already determined our paths: What would be the worth of living life? Makes no sense to me.

2. Imagine we all have the power of Free Will. We can freely make our own decisions, no matter if they are considered good or bad at that point in time in that society. Why would we punish 'bad' decisions, as a nasty bonus added to the next life to come? Makes no sense if you believe in Free Will (as I do).

3. Why are we so obsessed with good vs. bad?
 
lighthouse said:
I've lived my current life courageously, strong, and honestly. I've been as good as I can possibly be. And despite it, people have treated me like I am evil and worthless
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Hey, start your life again. You say you are strong and have a set of morals. Just cut off the people who drag you down and build your new life with good people, a good environment to live in, and work on the causes you find important to you. Sometimes people start under bad circumstances in order to rise above.

edit:
Deborahs post from 20 years ago might be of interest to you https://reincarnationforum.com/threads/karma-issues-karmic-backlash-and-past-lives.364/post-6788
 
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I am going to call this an "othering experience" where basically whoever ends up facing issues like this are victims of the usual ingroup outgroup bias where basically is rejected by the community or tribe. I got my own theories however the issue of karma is nothing more than an old scam cooked up in the astral that functions as a social credit system for which is an unwinnable game no matter how perfict one is as for most is impossible to be ever "good enough" to those who run these systems as it is meant to keep souls trapped in an endless loop of reincarnation be it here or elsewhere in violation of free will. As for the new age new age it is another of those cults that was first developed and beta tested in the astral before it got to be a real problem down here for which many have been fooled or worse groomed for the role between lives.
Anyway as for being treated like crap in general by society comes as no surprise that on the soul level there are different demographics all cobbled together in this world and if one isn't the right vibe as in energy as smell would be in the animal world never mind everything else like cognition and personality results in negative responses hence why the group bias while being rejected.

All in all by advice would be when the chance comes again is to evaluate any options and to shop around for somewhere be it world or realm more suitable if all else search out wherever you may have last been through should that be a viable option as this world it is safe to say not a kind place.

Remember that karma as presented in both the religious and new cage circles is nothing more than a social credit system and has no real consequence on one's soul. If any entities on the other side use blame and guilt to goad people into accepting unfavorable and outright horrendous soul contracts is beyond any shadow of a doubt an negative entity.
 
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melon04 said:
I don't believe in karma either, mostly because of similar reasons as well as personal experience.

I also have serious issues with the idea of soul contracts. I've known too much suffering both of myself and of others. I can't believe that people choose to have abusive parents, be raped, have depression, live a life that amounts to nothing, etc. It especially bothers me whenever I see people talk about traumatic issues and people who believe in soul contracts respond with "you are growing, you need these experiences to pay off karma" and I find it really dismissive and disrespectful.

I just believe whatever happens just happens and you can't do much about it except for making choices for yourself.
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I also personally don't believe in karma.

However , as people, we make bad (and also good) choices and as souls, we also do as well . It's also possible that we may choose to arrange a situation to experience something in an effort to learn from it and to over come it and advance beyond it.

To an outward observer, we don't know what the circumstances are of someone's life / soul and even to ourselves, in our current lives, we may not understand our own either. At the end of the day, we all have the exact same thing: free will and the ability to control how we respond to situations.

No one has the right or even the proper insight into someone's life to be able to tell them they need to do one thing or another. The best thing we can do as members of the forum is encourage people to discover the answers that are right for them.
 
Personally, I see "Karma" more like a to-do-list. The term means "action", maybe the actions you have to take to get the experiences the soul still needs. Like that. I certainly don't believe that you'll get punished or rewarded by some external force. More like if you didn't accomplish/experience what ever you came here for, you'll be confronted with similar situations in your next life. I believe you choose. But the real you, from a higher perspective.

I'd bet everyone here has done things in their PLs that are nothing to be proud of, but why judge? You didn't know it better back then. You wouldn't judge yourself for the things you did as a little baby either. But now you can handle things in a different way. Which is all that matters.
 
SeekerOfKnowledge said:
Personally, I see "Karma" more like a to-do-list. The term means "action", maybe the actions you have to take to get the experiences the soul still needs. Like that. I certainly don't believe that you'll get punished or rewarded by some external force. More like if you didn't accomplish/experience what ever you came here for, you'll be confronted with similar situations in your next life. I believe you choose. But the real you, from a higher perspective.

I'd bet everyone here has done things in their PLs that are nothing to be proud of, but why judge? You didn't know it better back then. You wouldn't judge yourself for the things you did as a little baby either. But now you can handle things in a different way. Which is all that matters.
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I agree with you. On another group the topic was: Are you guilty for what you have done in your past lives?
I was surprised by the answers because a lot of people felt rather guilty or responsible for what they had done.
I am not guilty, maybe feel guilty when memories are back. But I don't have to be judged for what "he" did. All I have to do is to do my best in this life.
 
Totoro said:
I think we can setup specific circumstances and perhaps even major events.

But there's no point in having everything planned. That would be counter productive haha
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I agree. However I've seen many people who believe in soul contracts promote the latter idea.
 
lighthouse said:
I've lived my current life courageously, strong, and honestly. I've been as good as I can possibly be. And despite it, people have treated me like I am evil and worthless; I've experienced no justice, and I don't feel like God loves me in even the slightest. I spoke to "God" or whatever people call this spirit, and it said I was a bad person in my past life. I am now filled with endless, and I mean unending and tumultuously prevailing rage at our higher power. At first I used to believe in goodness, and that if we were good people, good things would prevail. Now I am essentially told that nothing I do matters; no matter what I've done, it doesn't matter. All will never be rewarded, and exists purely to make others happy without recompense because "somebody, who isn't me, did something bad".

I am so violently filled with rage. I feel falsely accused, and demonized; it's the same feeling you would have if anyone treated you unjustly, and defamed or indignified you and falsely accused you. I am left feeling like I am trapped in a worthless universe not worth existing in; this has haunted me for over 10 years and it isn't getting better, I am getting more and more angry.

Nothing I've ever done means anything. Nobody who has ever wronged me, will ever be penalized; whatever "God" is, has decided to scapegoat me on behalf of a dead person who doesn't exist, and who isn't me, and something I've never done and there is nothing I can about it. I do not want to cry "suicide", but I often feel like it is the only solution. I don't see any reason to live on. I am in a disgusting existence that scapegoats innocent people on behalf of deceased "past lives", that have nothing to do with us. There is no gratitude, no love, no kindness, no apologies, no fairness, nothing; just cold callous endless hatred and penalty for being good for me. And, no, there is no reason to live anymore. I think reincarnation is an evil concept, and whatever higher beings dreamed this psychotic practice up are the most evil beings that could ever possibly exist.

Please help. I used to have dignity; instead I have non-stop rage about life, whatever "God" is, at myself and I just want to end it all. It's disgusting. It feels like I am being tortured and tormented by wicked beings getting off on excusing their evil acts toward me. I wasn't a bad person before, and I am not now, but I by no means love "God" or the universe anymore.I don't like life and I have no interest looking forward to anything. I'm being accused and mistreated because "somebody" who died and isn't me, did something. It's crushed my self-esteem, peace of mind, gratitude, and hope. No amount of words will change it.
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Just saw your post and would like to say that I truly feel your pain. Please undenstand, that no loving 'god' would say what apparently was said to you! You are the divine creator spirit and nobody has right to judge you on your previous reincarnation in any manner. Especially that after the memory wipe process just before one is born we do not know who we are, where we came from and what is the real reason if any for our existance here in this hellish reality. To say to you what was said, filled ME with rage! I am so sorry, but this is evil beyond anything! As a serious seeker I have a good understanding of good and evil from gnostic perspective and know quite a bit about reincarnation and what it is all about. Well, I disagree with it in the same way as with karma which cannot ever be 'sorted or paid off'. My understanding is that we live in recycling system where reincarnation is not about any learning but for energy extracting purpose only. You cannot ever win with this, as no matter how good and loving and great you are, you can never please those who run the show. Some call them archons, some demons. The only way to help yourself is to say no to reincarnation and all that goes with this. You do not have to proof to anyone anything, as you are created as free spirit with free-will, and those are great gifts. Please work on regainig your power and never give it away to some imposters. Do not allow anybody to scare you or speak down to you. There is plenty of good info online if you need to look into all that deeper. Check out "Forever Couscious Research Channel" on youtube which contains massive ammount of great videos with info regarding reincarnation, afterlife, soul trap, what happens in between lives. Fascinating material that will help you to understand about this subject.
 
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