A past life in south

[shadowsofmypast]

I won't too much into this but, it's been bothering
me for awhile . This life I have felt most of my life
just bits and pieces I seen horrible things
and impulses to go with it.

What really brought this into focus for me is meeting
someone on internet we are both psychic ,so a connection
grew. Then more visions started of this past life.
I seen what I looked like I was bi-racial .
No one in my family cared for me .
My one sister hated and tortured me mentally and psychically.
for years I could not help who I was.
So, one day seen my sister at top of long flight of stairs
Something snapped in me. I rushed and pushed her down
the stairs she tumbled over and over again.
I heard something make a cracking she came end of the stairs.
I remember she was wearing dark dress.I also
remember what she looks like. I can't get that image
of her scared face. For you see my friend I met
was my sister in that life I killed.
She asked months ago. did I kill her because we were
talking about past lives. I now I have tell her.
This might be hard. I turned out to be sociopath, as they call it
now. It's just really bad past life for me.
This where I get dark thoughts from.
Writing about this life from her prescriptive has
helped deal with this.
I feel shame for what did in this.
But, it's in the past.

 

[argonne1918]

Wow.

 

[SeaAndSky]

Hi Shadows,


I don't think you were a sociopath then any more than you are a sociopath now. A sociopath is someone without a conscience. The fact that you are unhappy with your past behavior shows that you are not a sociopath now. In terms of your past behavior, it sounds like you were a very impulsive and angry person, and possibly had reason to be. You may have also been a person who held grudges and wanted revenge for past wrongs. However, this doesn't mean that you were necessarily without conscience. We all do things and then try to rationalize afterwards, especially when we say "they had it coming to them."


Of course, I can't say anything for sure in terms of your label for your PL self, but it doesn't seem to me that the "sociopath" label is necessary, and that life is over anyway. Whatever you were then, you are obviously "changed" now, if only by your regret for your prior acts. So, "chance" or karma or grace has put the two of you back together again. It is your duty/chance, but also very much HER duty/chance, to make things between you better than they were before.


I don't know what that calls for in terms of confessions, maybe that is something you should defer until your friendship grows to an even greater level, and maybe it is what is necessary for your friendship to grow to that level--deciding that is up to you. I can only wish you the best. This is a difficult, but probably a necessary thing you're going to have to work through. However, I can say that I believe that God's blessing and grace is behind all chances and acts of reconciliation, so you may have more help in working this out than you think.


Cordially,


S&S

 

[shadowsofmypast]

Thats nice for you to say SeaAndSky.


But, she was a Sociopath, and the people she hurt.


was for just the hell! of it.


And in this life I am possibly a borderline Sociopath?. I am good person.


Just alot of negative thoughts bit antisocial, and very


charismatic.


And my friend is a Sociopath in this life.


So some patterns do carry into this life.


My Karmic debt has not been paid yet.


Something I wrote, never get in they way of somebody


with no conscience or empathy.


Things do tend to fall apart prematurely.

 

[SeaAndSky]

Hi Shadows,


You can say what you will about yourself, and perhaps what you say is true. You know better than I. However, I will still say this: I trust someone who seems to be aware of their own faults and flaws and is willing to own up to them and try to overcome them a lot more than someone who does not. Whatever you are struggling with from the past or present, you definitely seem to have this going for you.


Good luck with the friend. Based on your description I can't help but be a bit nervous about the results. You make it sound like putting the two of you together is a bit like putting two wildcats together in a sack. I.e., though I hope for the best, it seems inevitable that claws will be unsheathed and fur will fly--perhaps sooner rather than later.


Cordially,


S&S

 

[tanguerra]

So some patterns do carry into this life. My Karmic debt has not been paid yet.
Something I wrote, never get in they way of somebody


with no conscience or empathy.


Things do tend to fall apart prematurely.

Hi shadows.


Wow that's heavy. Yes it's true that patterns can follow us from one life to the next, but it's also important to remember that once we find out what a pattern of behaviour is and we decide it is not working out for us, we can change it. You have already changed it.


Sure, it is not a good feeling to remember doing something bad. I've done my share of bad stuff. I've also had bad stuff happen to me. That's life, eh? The important thing to remember is it doesn't 'matter'. We are all immortal. Death is temporary and we get a chance to do things better each and every time. So, isn't that great?


You know me. I don't believe in all this 'law of karma' business and paying debts and all that. I just think that's an over simplification. You need to keep in mind that this is all, at one level at least, an 'illusion'. It is just one dimension of reality and at every moment we have the opportunity to reach 'up' and ask our highest self for guidance and wisdom when we are not sure what to do. The answer will be there.


I don't know if you've ever seen this, but it's great. Bill Hick's - it's just a ride.





In this case, you are being reminded of how badly you behaved last time and of course, you feel a bit ashamed of yourself. I guess that's good and how it should be. But that was then and this is now and now you have a chance to make another choice.


I am pretty sure this time your choice will be a much better one.

 

[shadowsofmypast]

Thank , but I must say this I feel


Need to help heal her by telling what happened


between us maybe she can let go of some things.


But, I feel there this may or may not be true


I seen alot times in my mind.


In that life I did not want any children at all.


I could live with a child or have one.


So I got pregnant I wanted no part of being a mother.


It me drove crazy so.. I say this reluctantly .


I killed myself and my unborn baby.


The baby was my sister I killed.cover face


I don't think will tell her this because I don't know how


she would handle this. I need to get off my chest.


As far as being wildcats both us. She is the wild one


of the pair. I am calculating reasonable one.


With insight with bit caution in me.


It helps writing it down the whole thing.


Though this life does get to me at times.


I am not capable of things like this in this


life, but in that life yes.

 

[shadowsofmypast]

I still I need to confront her with this.


I need to heal and so does she.


On sunday I cried so much because I watching


civil war tv episode. More memories came from this


life. I was trembling I felt cold rush come over me.


I know as child I did not deserve to hurt by somebody


who was suppose to love me.


This why I feel I don't have decent relationships.


I am afraid to love and afraid to trust.