An Undeniable Connection

[PrivateTucker]

I'm sure a lot of you have come across people like that- someone where, for some reason, you get that buzzing feeling inside. That you're drawn to them for reasons you can't really explain. Warning: Ellipses abuse, tl;dr and questions ahead!

I have had that happen several times, and most of it was friendship. Two friends who are very good to me. The others...well, one is positive, and the other is...less so, and yet intertwined.

I suppose we'll start with the bad because that is where the good comes in. This..person. Let's call him...O'Malley. Originally, I was not the person who was drawn to O'Malley. One of my closest friends was, and O'Malley and I met rather by accident. But once that happened, the connection was pretty rapid. We fell in love, and I got physically involved with him. But, as I mentioned before, this was not a happy relationship by any means of the word. O'Malley is deeply troubled, and the reason why I met him in the first place is to help him with his problems. But I got sucked under, and found myself in the midst of a lot of emotional manipulation.

I guess the main thing with O'Malley is that he used to hurt me (not physically, I mean), say he was sorry and it would never happen again. So it would be fine, and then he would drop a new bombshell of hurt on me, process begins all over again. I recently broke it off with O'Malley romantically and I won't go back on that. But the ugly cycle seems to hint at there being more to that than just whatever has happened between us now.

The good ties in with O'Malley, though. Let's call this other guy York. York and I were vague acquaintances who never really spoke to each other much (though he recalls we had a conversation once about sniper rifles that I don't remember at all) until things hit a very low point with O'Malley. Then, suddenly, it was like I was drawn to York, and we began to speak on a more intimate basis. We /understand/ each other on a level that I can't really describe- he says I am one of the few people he can really trust and talk to. And whenever I need him, he shows up, even if I never expect him to. For instance, he told me he was going to be gone for a while and he wasn't sure when he was able to come back. I was very upset one night, and was thinking, "Where is York when you need him?" and in the morning when I woke up, he was there.

He was the one who kept me going despite everything O'Malley put me through. So...I fell in love with him. The feelings are not returned, but I suppose that doesn't make a difference...and I lost my train of thought on that one as I keep getting interrupted by work. XD

I have seen past life memories, however, none that would point me in the direction of O'Malley or the root cause of this, and how to heal from it, for the both of us. Because so far it is just going round and round and round again and I would much rather fix whatever happened between O'Malley and I as opposed to ignoring it.

Have any of you ever been stuck in a destructive karmic sort of cycle like this? How did you figure out the root cause of it, and how did you heal from it, and break the cycle altogether?

 

[stardis]

Hi PrivateTucker.


Just my opinion and nothing more. I don't let the "you're the only person I can trust and talk to" line affect me, as I feel it is just an attempt at manipulation. I am very familiar with that stuff.


I feel that when you realize there is a karmic cycle that needs to be broken, you are already breaking it. Just complete the task by stepping back and seeing the other individual as more of a stage actor. Watch their performance and don't be drawn into the drama but just be an observer. The other person is playing a part but you don't have to continue on with a pointless script. I don't think it necessary to know why the cycle began, what is important is that you stop your participation and move on with your own journey of self-discovery. The desire to end it doesn't have to be mutual.


Find and surround yourself with people who can laugh about life and that will heal you. Our journeys through our different lifetimes should not be shackles and chains that grow ever heavier because in the scheme of things, as eternal beings, all the drama is meaningless.


Like I said, just my opinion on something that I feel I have some experience with.

 

[usetawuz]

Find and surround yourself with people who can laugh about life and that will heal you. Our journeys through our different lifetimes should not be shackles and chains that grow ever heavier because in the scheme of things, as eternal beings, all the drama is meaningless.

...this.

 

[Nightrain]

I'm sure a lot of you have come across people like that- someone where, for some reason, you get that buzzing feeling inside. That you're drawn to them for reasons you can't really explain. Warning: Ellipses abuse, tl;dr and questions ahead!
I have had that happen several times, and most of it was friendship. Two friends who are very good to me. The others...well, one is positive, and the other is...less so, and yet intertwined.

There are people in the world, who feel attracted to snakes of various kinds. And some of those people also feel that little white mice or hamsters are cute and soft to hold. But, when the two come together those same people are dismayed and hurt by the behavior of the snakes, who so often say afterward, "I'm sorry! It won't happen again!". Then, they are surprised, hurt, and despondent that it has, indeed, happened again. Eventually, after such repeated behavior, the snakes may realize their own nature and admit that this will happen again; but they will also say, "You knew I was a snake before you took me in.".


Be careful of what you are attracted to, for it might be a bad habit from a previous lifetime. Being attracted implies only that there is something there. But, it might be something that you hadn't bargained for. Be careful of what you wish for; because it may just come true.

 

[PrivateTucker]

I feel that when you realize there is a karmic cycle that needs to be broken, you are already breaking it. Just complete the task by stepping back and seeing the other individual as more of a stage actor. Watch their performance and don't be drawn into the drama but just be an observer. The other person is playing a part but you don't have to continue on with a pointless script. I don't think it necessary to know why the cycle began, what is important is that you stop your participation and move on with your own journey of self-discovery. The desire to end it doesn't have to be mutual.

That makes a lot of sense. Since then, after several more ugly incidents (I kind of fell into talking to him in a moment of weakness) I have completely cut O'Malley out of my life for good. Whatever he does with his life is no longer my concern, nor do I want to know.


Thank you so much, y'all, for all the advice.

 

[hydrolad]

One possibility that might not have been considered (or mentioned), perhaps not in your case, is that I have met people in this life that appear to be pure evil, people that you don't even want to be near, much less associate with.


It's almost like they wake up and think to themselves: "I think I'll screw with (or hurt) so-and-so today" and instead of living a life trying to be nice to everyone and to be helpful, they take advantage of your kindness and give nothing in return.


As a child, I was often the target of bullies (as some kids are), but then they moved on to other targets, but I also knew how to take care of myself, by either physical means or outsmarting the bully (wasn't too hard considering the source!), for instance I had to wear glasses, or that I had red hair and so forth and so on.


Now I wonder, are these bullies people from a past life, and I still need to interact with them to work out their problems or are they just unhappy people who are crying out for help (or both), or do I really need to lose these people once and for all; I remember after getting over being mad at their behavior that I actually felt sorry for them, it just seemed to me that they weren't very happy with themselves, sorry for the long post, any thoughts on this?