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Demonic Possession - A Psychiatrist Speaks

Hi Jim,

You have to be careful not to push anything, even good ideologies, past their point of goodness. Every do-gooder and ideologue tends to make this mistake. Interestingly (to me at least), this came to me in my youth, when I was devoting myself to Judo. The whole idea there is to push where the other guy pulls and pull when the other guy pushes, thereby pulling/pushing the opponent into a state where they are out of balance and vulnerable to your technique. At some point I realized that this principle applied not only in Judo, but across the board. When the normally protective mother becomes over-protective and crushes independence of thought, etc. in a child, she has gone past the balance point. When the attempt to right any wrong becomes an end justifies the means quest, things have definitely gone awry--and well past the balance point. So, while human opposites may attract, I am convinced that evil is attracted to extremes, will try to pull one towards the extreme (whether aggression or compliance), and will exploit that extreme. Usually, though, aggression offers more potential for evil than compliance. Usually the over-compliant just damage themselves. The over-aggressive can damage a multitude. So, I would not condemn your belief in good ideals, merely taking them too far.

Cordially,
S&S
 
Hi Jim,

A quick follow-up. I'd suggest you get a copy of "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis from the library. Whether you like the more doctrinaire aspects or not, or believe in the personification of evil or not, it is a very good treatise on how evil works with and in people, amusingly taught in a fictional format where a more experienced tempter coaches his junior in how to promote evil among humans. I long had a audio version where it was read aloud by John Cleese, who definitely brought out the amusing aspects.

Here's one of my favorite quotes--dealing with evil from a societal standpoint:

"We direct the fashionable outcry of each generation against those vices of which it is in the least danger, and fix its approval on the virtue that is nearest the vice which we are trying to make endemic. The game is to have them all running around with fire extinguishers whenever there's a flood; and all crowding to that side of the boat which is already nearly gone under."

Hence:

"Whenever all men are...hastening to be slaves or tyrants we make Liberalism the prime bogey."

The opposite of this statement is also, of course, equally true. And, one virtue you have cultivated that still very much applies:

"He sees as well as you do that courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point, which means, at the point of highest reality."

Cordially,
S&S
 
Thanks S&S. Great posts. I live in a constant state of anxiety. Your two posts brought balance to my outlook for the first time since I remembered reincarnation. That's more than two years in therapy and a lot of money spent on it did for me. Thanks!

I always pushed harder and more aggressively than my compatriots. I am obsessive about that when I'm on a war footing.

This is what I used to think about heroes:

https://www.highlandtitles.com/2014/09/william-wallace-birth-of-a-hero/

Or this:

http://www.history.com/news/audie-murphys-world-war-ii-heroics-70-years-ago

Or my own past life:

http://carmichaeldigitalprojects.org/ireland/exhibits/show/michael-collins--hero-of-irish

I had it all sorted. If anyone did evil I was there to stop it. True evil got me by shining a light on things like this:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-20248737

I remember that bombing from when I was a child. It was the reason I didn't take up arms against the British during the troubles. I didn't see war, I saw murder. I saw innocents being blown up. They weren't targeting legitimate targets. I'd have none of that.

I had remembered enough of reincarnation when true evil got me to know who I was in my past life. It was proposed back then during the war of independence that we target civilians. I refused point blank for the same reason I wouldn't murder civilians in my current life. What evil illustrated to me was that it didn't matter if I had some moral about it. My ideas on warfare were taken to an extreme I wasn't prepared to go to in my last life after I died.

Escalation:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Execu...War#The_Ballyseedy_Massacre_and_its_aftermath

I birthed all the deaths such as the Enniskillen bombing by inspiring others who came after me with my ideas.

It didn't matter if I didn't do it myself. I let the genie out of the bottle. I thought I could Marshal chaos but I just contributed to it. I created a means for other men to do even worse evil than I had done. It was all about escalation and that's only one of my lives that I remember. True evil showed me the spiral of hell and its was of my own making.

I damaged a multitude and all the time I thought I was being brave and heroic. I thought I was doing good by doing bad.

Evil definitely attacks at extremes in my experience. All a person has to do to be vulnerable to it is to push to an extreme.

I'll check that book out. I'm not ina good headspace for reading these past few years but it sounds like something that may give me clarity so thanks.

I was always in control S&S, but since my brush with true evil I have been running around with a fire extinguisher during a flood.

You last quote speaks to my life's mission. Its only in the last couple of years that I realised that true courage is Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. He just let evil happen to him. He didn't try to fight it. He trusted in God and was steadfast in his ability not to come down to his tormentors level. He didn't perpetuate evil. That's why he is greater than any warrior that I remember. He makes someone like me, who sees he was courageous about not contributing to evil, miniscule.

All true evil has to do is wait long enough for a soul to trip itself up in my experience.

I think John Cleese is great by the way.
 
Hi Jim,

I have hesitated a long time in responding to your post. Mostly because I know my own lack of bravery. C. S. Lewis was right, courage is the form of every virtue at the testing point. You are also right, that "true courage is Jesus' sacrifice on the cross". It is not a virtue I possess to any great degree, but I think that you do. So, I hesitate to say things that are presumptuous in the light of my own self-knowledge, especially as I consider you to have more of this characteristic of the great saints than I will probably ever have. You may be surprised to find that Lewis noted through Screwtape that: "The great (and toothsome) sinners are made out of the very same material as those horrible phenomena the great Saints." This was a theme Lewis touched on repeatedly, the iron willed dedication and often single-minded determination possessed by the greatest of Sinners was also the same underlying character that would make the greatest of Saints. Likewise, the highest ideals when perverted could accomplish the greatest evils. Look at what happens when a desire for Social justice spawns a French or Russian Revolution. As beautiful as the ideal of motherhood may be, it seldom or never accomplishes the evil in its downfall that a misguided quest to change the world can cause. If some form of personified evil has taken a particular interest in co-opting you or destroying you, I think Lewis would say it is because your potential for good is as great or greater than your potential for evil. So, take heart. If you have attracted special attention from evil forces, it is because you represent not only a fearful weapon in their hands, but a weapon they fear even more if dedicated to God and goodness.

I don't have a lot I can give to you in your struggle. All I can actually do is look for patterns and encourage you to dedicate yourself to finding new goals in the light of God. In terms of patterns, I can say that according to the patterns I have seen at work in existence and those I see at work in you, you have already turned onto the path and are trudging ahead. First, there is the ancient pattern of the quest for God, one that was adopted by the Church, but pre-dates it in antiquity. This is the pattern that finds a three-fold path, with a purgative, illuminative, and unitive phase. As with all of these patterns, one is constantly moving between the various phases, and the only determinant of which phase one is in is where you spend most of your time. On this scale, you are certainly in the purgative phase with an element of the illuminative as well, for your past life memories would be characteristic of the latter.

Second, another even greater and more detailed ladder of ascent can be seen in the Beatitudes. Here I think the first four represent and illustrate the purgative phase, the blessings attached to the eight beatitudes include the illuminative aspects, and the last four beatitudes set forth steps in the unitive phase. I will let you look these up in Matthew 5:3-10, however, you clearly manifest all of the first four as well as (I believe) a growing share of the fifth. You can see the path that lies ahead of you as you study the last four, which bring you in the eighth to the "true courage" in self-sacrifice you saw in Jesus on the cross.

How you move forward from here I cannot say, except that your spirit does not seem to be one given to half measures. In another day and age, you might have abandoned all and headed to the desert to be instructed by the Desert Fathers and Mothers. Where you can find such guidance now and what God would have you do I don't know. This seems like a time for prayer, reflection, and staying alert for a sign. God will not let you down, though the divine seems to seldom be in as much of a hurry as we are.

Cordially,
S&S
 
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Hi S&S. Your probably braver than you think you are. Nobody really needs to be brave until they are tested.

I don't know how a warmongerer can become saintly in his approach to life. Maybe its true that the purest virgin is the reformed tart. I didn't even know I was a warmongerer until I remembered reincarnation. I never gave reincarnation much thought before then but I thought I would have been a poet or an artist or something in a past life. Finding out about reincarnation has robbed me of the uniqueness of being Jim. Instead of looking at what I was doing as a man being what the situation demanded of him I now realise that I had life after life of conflict to learn. I demanded of the situation really. In my earlier incarnations I thought that I could change the world by enforcing a better world on people. In my later incarnations I thought that I could change the world by enforcing the will of the people on the world. In my current life I now realise that I can only help change the world by changing myself. So you see, my 'gloried' past lives where I became an icon again and again were simply necessary steps for me to realise that I have to deal with my own crap, not everyone else's. On a spiritual level I am exactly the same as everyone else, I'm just working through my own karma. Its a shame people in my life only see the 'celebrity' of who I claim to be. It blinds them to the crap I'm dealing with.

I can understand Lewis' point about sinners and saints. Austin Powers parodied such things with Doctor Evil telling Powers "we're not so different you and I". Its funny because its true. Its also true that social justice can result in evil. I would recommend the film " The Wind That Shakes The Barley". Its a film that shows the heartache that a desire for social justice can bring down on people when taken to extremes. Its set during the Irish war of independence and civil war.

A personified evil did take an interest in me. Maybe it was trying to divert me from Gods mission, I dunno. But if I'm to be a perpetual soldier I want to be a soldier of God.

I've always searched for God but when I found big situations thrown upon my shoulders I always took that as my cue from God. I assumed I was doing His will. It wasn't until my current life, when I actually stopped and thought about the consequences of my actions, that I found myself doing something that had Gods approval. I didn't know that at the time however. I even apologised to Him for not pursuing evil. I certainly am in the purgative phase, my PL knowledge feels like one big bowel movement to me, but I also have illumination. If I hadn't of gained PL memories and I hadn't of been the men I was in my past lives, I would still be justifying necessary evils. I wouldn't have learned anything. Although to be honest, a lot of the time, ignorance feels like bliss.

I used the line 'the meek shall inherit the Earth' in my battle with a sociopath. It was my way of minimising his power and letting him know he wasn't dealing with a meek man. The fifth one about mercy? That's come to me alright to some degree. It also leaves me with crippling guilt over what I've done in my pasts. The personified evil I encountered has left me faltering at 'true courage'. It has me doubting myself and when I doubt myself I doubt that God has any faith in me.

Yeah, I dunno where to find guidance. I tried various religious and spiritual groups but they provided no real guidance for me. Neither did therapy. Also when I do sit in church I don't feel welcome in Gods house. Although I remember going to a prayer meeting once in an old church and I was sat there, broken and ashamed of my behaviour over many lives and, I swear, what looked like a shooting star shot from right to left about eight feet above my head. It gave me no comfort though. I still feel that I've let God down. I'm an obsessive and a perfectionist.
 
Hi Jim,

The Beatitude about the poor in spirit uses a term that indicates someone who is totally destitute, a beggar. In this context, it represents someone who knows their own spiritual poverty, the dispirited who are seeking and ready/begging for spirit, encouragement and inspiration. Not counterfeits, but the real thing--which only God can provide. Been there, done that, and though I'm not always in that state of mind, I never seem to really move past it, at least not on a permanent basis.

The Beatitude about those who mourn has always been taken to mean not just mourning in general, but specifically those who mourn over their own shortcomings and sins, and the shortcomings and sins of the whole world, these are those who see a world in need, and a world of need in themselves. Ditto.

The Beatitude about the meek is often misinterpreted. Certainly, it represents humility, but I think the best interpretation of the Greek might be "tractable". An illustration of the Greek term I read by William Barclay, a famous scholar, was its ancient use to indicate a spirited war horse that had been tamed and was ready to respond to the hand and command of his master. He was adamant that it did not indicate many of the kinds of things that are also implied in modern English by the term. This is the hardest one for me, but I'm working on it (occasionally). It is hard to obey.

The Beatitude about hungering and thirsting for righteousness, is very clear. It like all of the preceding ones you certainly can see in yourself. Ditto for me, with the caveats I gave above. The last four Beatitudes talk about where to go from here. You will never be past the first four, even as you seek to cultivate the next three, which is likely to eventually lead you to the last Beatitude. Like all of us, you may not be thinking about them all the time, but you will definitely be revisiting them at deeper and deeper levels as you follow the course set out on this ladder of ascent. Each time you will realize how shallow your initial understanding was, and how far you still have to go, especially as you look at Jesus as a model.

I have tasted the first four, but I don't live them though I can't escape from them either. Of the last three, just a little. So, I suspect the same is true for you. What you do have that I lack is a true soldier's disciplined determination and will to overcome. Spiritsword spoke to you about the same thing in another thread. God has not rejected you, and will not reject you (http://biblehub.com/psalms/51-17.htm). At this point, you just need to stop projecting God's rejection on yourself and move forward with what you do next after you put down the sword. I suspect that like many a person of innate idealism and fire, you will eventually realize that the "pen is mightier than the sword". Perhaps for you, who thought you had artists in your past, you may find that the paintbrush is mightier than the sword. I don't know. As people say, don't give up your day job, day-to-day life has to be lived, but that plus mourning over the past is not all you have to be.

Cordially,
S&S
 
I know my own spiritual poverty S&S. I'm ready to learn. I guess I am learning. Nobody ever told me that it would be easy.

I mourn for who I was. I don't know how to be any other way. I just know that I have to be another way.

It is hard to obey. My instincts constantly make me falter in Gods mission for me, thus I think that by my very nature I constantly let God down. Its not good for the self esteem nor for maintaining my ability to stay focused on my mission. Like you I find it hard to obey.

I've learned that feeling righteous doesn't make one right. There are many corpses that will attest to that.

My true soldiers discipline has been so beaten down by my journey of these past four years that I find it hard to maintain the discipline of doing dishes or even showering at times. I'm spiritually and morally bereft and weighed down by my behaviour. I've only ever been able to apply my soldiers discipline before I learned about the nature of evil. Now I feel powerless against evil, save for Gods protection, and as such my whole life has become undisciplined. My old therapist said that I'm suffering a 'spiritual emergency'. I can still tie my shoelaces I guess.

I don't know what to do now that I've surrendered my sword. I don't know where to go from here. I could create stories and poetry based around my experiences I guess, but I don't want them to be read by a great many people so what's the point? I've wrote down my PL memories in a notebook and I've wrote some poetry, but just as my motivation has left me and left me undisciplined, so has my muse left me. I don't feel motivation anymore, life's just a day to day endurance test for me now. I hope I can be better than I've been.
 
Jim78 said:
My instincts constantly make me falter in Gods mission for me, thus I think that by my very nature I constantly let God down.
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Jim, I'm a poor source of knowledge about God and what is expected or required, but I certainly have an opinion;). I don't think that there are any punishable rules or behaviors that would end your essence from existence. It is more about the accumulation of experiences and understanding them (as we are all doing) and its affect on others as well as how your desires fit into various realities. I find it difficult to put into words for some reason, but part of it is bending the ego to genuinely follow a spiritual path that is the basis of most peaceful religions. It's not something to fret about, just something to slowly master as you understand it better. You seem to feel the need to appease some entity for having experienced something that you now find offensive and it is embarrassing for you; perhaps this is a good thing to have happen rather than the burden that it appears to you. I think at this point you would rather pull back from the need to act so aggressively in the direction that you did. Fighting for what we believe in is pretty normal and taking action without understanding the ramifications is also quite common (really common here in the US right now).

I personally think you are doing great, just needing to chill it a bit to make it more comfortable, Jim is the transition lifetime it seems. Learning to be at peace with yourself is part of the process I think - I'm still working on that part also.
 
I have no regrets about what I have done.. in fact I wish I had done and achieved much more.. I'm very much looking forward to next time when I can do whatever I want to do.. BB has the knowledge and skills of many warrior lives which I have never seen the need to talk about... I have not seen anything reported that comes close to what BB has done. There are no reasons or need for me talk about anything
 
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I fret because I've been a total fool Ken. I embarrassed myself before God. I guess its like remembering embarrassing stuff I did when I was a kid. Some of it makes me cringe but at the same time I recognise that I was just a kid. Its just, I'm supposed to be an intelligent adult. Why on Earth didn't I realise this stuff sooner?

I do pull back from being aggressive yet at the same time I don't want people walking all over me.

I did tell God that I have to find my own peace. As foolish as I was, in that statement I seem to be right.
 
Hi Jim Your question is not easy to answer.. it all revolves around who BB my pure spiritual self is.. Blueheart who you may not have seen post on the forum because she has not been around for sometime... is an expert on Ancient Egypt.. where BB came from...she was of great help to me... anyway as you may not know there was a problem with BB and he was I suppose best described as being in the background for countless incarnations and as a result Blueheart felt by the way I talked about him and expressed things about BB he had not evolved..He was still ancient..When she told me that it made plenty of sense to me and answered many questions I had about myself.. my pure spiritual self BB..and also gave me greater clarity about my memories including warrior memories..As I have said before I only have memories I'm not sure who the physical entities were.. that has changed in recent times .. now after years of meditations those things are becoming more clear to me now,.. So when I say I have not seen anything posted that come close to what BB has done its important to keep in mind... my warrior memories are those of an ancient warrior who lived in very brutal times.. very different times to what are talked about on the forum
.. except for last time when I have memories of being a WWII pilot .. but that was a different thing altogether BB was still in the background last time
My memories of what BB has done terrifies me in many ways..not that I loose any sleep over them.. Blueheart was very concerned she felt BB returning next time as an un evolved ancient warrior would be very bad... she felt.. but I'm not sure she is right..only the physical entities BB occupies can control him.. there are good reasons for me to think that...for example one of the rare times I talked about a warrior memory of BB I talked about after a battle being covered in the blood of my enemies...what I did not talk about was how it really was... I will never forget the smell... I can smell it now as I write this...the blood of my enemies on my skin mixed with my sweat was a beautiful smell.. I loved it.. I lifted up my right arm and licked the blood and sweat from my arm.. it tasted great. these are the memories of an ancient warrior not John Tat that are some of the concerns Blueheart has.. of BB returning not being evolved..
I hope this gives you some understandings

Regards
 
Hi John. I don't really understand who BB is. Is he an aspect of your soul? I don't really view my past lives or my higher self as being a separate entity from me. They feel as much me as my current life does.

I've been an ancient warrior too so I don't understand what you mean by you not seeing anything posted that comes close to what BB has done. My own memories of conquering and battling are barbaric enough. I can't really envision anything worse unless one is talking about genocide or nuclear war.

I'm glad you don't loose sleep over what BB has done. I'm also terrified by what I'm capable of and I do loose sleep over it.
 
Hi Jim,

Your muse hasn't left you, but if it is anything like my muse, you will only be able to write with real creativity about (or at least including) what you feel passionately about. This doesn't hold me up in terms of what I write professionally, but that type of writing is not the same as striking out on your own to write a novel or the like. Biographies don't really get read by most. Plus, I think your knowledge of what was going on inside during these lives, and especially what it all looks like from your current broader perspective, would not translate or would be lost in writing a biography. Could you project your ideas and insights into a fictional universe? You could project these novels into a much older historical setting or a future setting. Both allow for a lot of leeway. Alternatively, maybe you should look into some form of activism in an area or field you feel strongly about. Anyhow, just throwing out ideas. However, I have found that sometimes it is better to not overthink it and to just plunge into something you think you might be interested in doing. What have you lost if it doesn't work out?

Cordially,
S&S
 
"Hi John. I don't really understand who BB is. Is he an aspect of your soul? I don't really view my past lives or my higher self as being a separate entity from me. They feel as much me as my current life does."

Hi Jim,

This has been a subject of discussion on the board for, quite literally, years. You may want to just start with John's thread focusing on getting information from his "source" if you have an hour or two. It will help you to catch you up. The things he recovers are interesting, but the relationship between him and BB remains a subject in controversy to most.

Cordially,
S&S
 
Its difficult for me to understand how something as basic as me not knowing who the physical entities were BB occupied can possibly mean anything else than the spiritual BB and the physical entities are separate.. I don't think that is to difficult to understand even for me...
 
John, the identity of BB is perplexing, is it/he a guide, a prior aspect of your soul, a higher level (or lower level) of those mentioned, or a spirit longing to interact with a physical entity? You see BB is a higher level of John Tat, but it is a pretty hard-sell to me. There is little love being demonstrated and too much "bossiness" for me to seriously take that to be fact, but that's just my feeling. It seemed at times that it/he took advantage of your basic gentleness to lead you into harsh reactions.
 
My motivation has left me though S&S.

I wouldn't write a biography. For one, writing a biography about FPLs is patently insane to the majority of people. Secondly, even if I was believed I would be tearing down peoples icons and since in those lives I used violence to further my political aims it would create plenty of controversy. Thirdly, my life lesson in my current life is hard for even me to grasp and I've lived it. I was talking to an Afghanistan and Iraq veteran somewhere else online unrelated to spiritual matters about combating evil creating evil and he said "If my enemy is about to kill ten women and children I'll shoot him." He's absolutely right yet according to my lesson one shouldn't commit evil for any reason and trust everyone's souls to God. That's a quandry I've been struggling with for years. Its too diffused and removed from the in the trenches realities of life for me to fully understand so how would I expect anyone else to understand it?

With regards to the fictional universe idea. I have thought about that. I've thought that I could condense my souls journey into one fictional life story. A man who fights three fights. One for glory, one for freedom and the last one for love. It could work. But I don't want my tactics or my discovery to inspire anyone and I know from my own experience that even fiction can inspire people. I mean, even when I think I've given away too much detail on this site I feel unsettled and I delete my posts. I feel comfortable talking about my PLs and my soul journey and lessons here because I remember from a handful of years ago what it was like to be an average Joe coming across reincarnation discussions online. I thought "Nutjobs living in fantasy land" and went back to reality. So while its frustrating not to be believed in my day to day life its comforting to me posting here that my beliefs are considered mad by most people. Its helps me discuss the subject more freely here.

As for trying activism. I'm tired. I don't have the passion for living I had before. I just want to stay out of histories way and live the rest of my life quietly. I need to reflect on who I've been and who I'm trying to be. I've been looking to outside conflicts for millennia. I need to get my own house in order and discover something positive in me before I'm ready to 'rejoin the human race'.

I hope that all makes sense to you. I made a conscious decision not to create history in my current life for what I believed to be a greater good. I can't backtrack on that decision by making even fictional writings about it public. Its just not what I signed up for.
 
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Hi Ken... thanks for your comments.. Once again its being questioned who BB is.. I no longer get angry about its I just feel for sorry for those who ... which I think are most others not just you who live in fantasy bubble of beliefs created from the imagination of men a long time ago and have been handed down generation after generation .in its own way its very sad..You are perplexed because you don't understand what is going on.. that is very sad to me .. if you are different like BB and me then you must be evil..how narrow minded is that..that is perplexing to me.. BB is not concerned he and I know and understand what is going on.. he is my pure spiritual self... maybe that makes him different.. being pure makes a very big difference... Its not all about our spiritual selves/souls being on some mystical journey of enlightenment.. its not all about people having troubles and problems during this incarnation and using the excuse of previous incarnations of there spiritual self/soul for the problems they have and cannot cope with.. give me a break... I could go on and on.. I experience previous incarnation memories they are interesting... fascinating and also terrifying.. none of them are to blame for how me John Tat is John Tat makes his own way his own life .. he is responsible for what he is and what he does ..that's how its meant to be done that is if you are strong enough to take responsibility for yourself... I can tell where people are by what they say and what they talk about.. I'm not going to talk about this again... how many times do I need to repeat myself? BB is my pure spiritual self.. I understand we are different.. BB is not evil he is who who he is.. he comes from Ancient Egypt.. he has great knowledge and influence.. next time he will end chaos and restore balance

All the Best
 
John, my apologies to you for causing you any upset, I will try to keep my questioning to myself on your spirit contacts.

It was an interesting experience for me to have someone associate me with evil, that was a first for me; I thought that I had experienced about everything so far in my life, kind of a surprise to find something so common to have been left out for so long. I'll have to take a little time to let that rattle around in me to see where it ends up!
 
Hi Ken .. evil is an interesting word.. what is evil to some is joy to others.. When the atomic bombs were dropped on Japan to the Japanese.. that was an act of evil On the other hand the peoples
of the allied countries danced in the streets with joy.. everyone of us can be and has been evil .. who is in a position to judge?
 
Hi Jim,

You quote another who said, "If my enemy is about to kill ten women and children I'll shoot him."

You conclude: He's absolutely right yet according to my lesson one shouldn't commit evil for any reason and trust everyone's souls to God.

This does not sound like "evil" to me, and you seem to know that instinctively. Perhaps you should rethink your lesson. I previously noted the tendency of evil to push when you pull and to pull when you push, always with the intent of taking you off balance and to an extreme where you can be manipulated. You seem to have swung from inveterate (and possibly ill conceived/motivated) action to an opposite extreme, and disabled yourself in the process. If there are forces working against you, they would certainly rather see you in this state if you are not working in their direction. This is also something to consider.

On the creative front you state:

"With regards to the fictional universe idea. I have thought about that. I've thought that I could condense my souls journey into one fictional life story. A man who fights three fights. One for glory, one for freedom and the last one for love. It could work. But I don't want my tactics or my discovery to inspire anyone and I know from my own experience that even fiction can inspire people."

I think you worry too much. You would be writing with the end in mind, and your final conclusions would be what would be left with the reader. I had actually imagined a SciFi trilogy with a spirit who lives these various lives in the future. Perhaps in the context of a continuing attempt to be free from an Imperial Terran Empire (a standard SciFi trope, but a good foil). You can change the lives of the actors as you wish to make them unrecognizable, but they would already be largely unrecognizable in a future context. The biggest problem you would face would be with the conclusion of the story, as you haven't written it in your own life yet. And, whether in a single book or three, you will not be setting out anything not already set down in Machiavelli or a dozen other sources of devious manipulation, but you would be showing that all of those stratagems lead to disillusionment, death, and ultimately despair, though despair may be a doorway into a new way of life.

Cordially,
S&S
 
Yea S&S. I am completely paralysed because I don't know what's good and what's bad anymore. All I know is that my fight for my love amounted to a big fat nothing. If I'd have just accepted that the decision I made killed all avenues for success I would have done less harm. Back at the turn of the twentieth century if we hadn't of fought then the British Empire was doomed anyway. My heroics seem completely pointless to me now.

Yeah, my last three lives do lend themselves to the idea of fighting a futuristic empire. I gave such a true to my nature speech as Wolfe Tone though that I haven't a clue how to work that into any narrative without someone knowing its origins. I also don't know how to work in my current lifes narrative without giving too much away.
 
Hi Jim,

Why does knowledge of the origins of any of this cause you such concern? People often gain inspiration from the past and from past historic figures in their writing. So, the fact that you are drawing on the stories of some past historic figures and events makes no difference. In fact, you can let it be know that you were inspired in whole or in part by their stories, their historical context, and the direction that subsequent history took.

As to your own personal story, doesn't everyone write a bit of themselves into their books? However, I can see how you might not want to disclose a lot of private material. All I can say is start writing and don't get stymied at the front end. After you've got it going or finished it, you can tweak the story and disguise the actors (especially re this lifetime). Also, lots of folks use a pseudonym when they write. So . . .

Anyhow, no one can anticipate every objection you might raise, including you. I think you need to do this anyway and see how it comes out. I think it would be very good, worthwhile and that all the difficulties can be overcome, but you'll never know unless you try.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--From a SciFi standpoint, it would be fairly easy to establish a background where slower than light ark ships were used to settle various star systems which then developed their own independent governments, cultures, etc. over centuries (or millenia) only to be re-conquered by an expanding technologically superior human empire that had developed FTL travel (and considered itself vastly superior to those it subjugated).
 
Yea, but how long before my belief in reincarnation became public knowledge S&S? I also don't want to get into anything political and my current view on the nature of war and how I now view my past lives can't help but be political. I can't be bothered saying anything controversial. I'm done battling on any level.

I really don't know how to work my life's narrative into a story, which is essential for any commentary I make on war, without giving away too much details. Besides, I get freaked out when I think about the scope of my lives and experiences. It puts me in a very dark place. Even discussing evil on this site can get me down. I don't really want to devote my time to bringing me to those dark places I would need to go to express my story.

I'm having to go down my long dark tunnel alone, but when I'm absorbed in my life experiences, it makes my journey that much darker.

I was thinking that, instead of reincarnation, I could use this idea of the progression of war, through various characters. Slower than light ark ships lend themselves to the idea of conquering a land. That idea would lend itself to my earlier lives. A prequel so to speak, before the conquering of an empire with FTL ships. Or I could just use my conquering experiences to create a more sympathetic protagonist. That would mean breaking the rules of a first person narrative though, which would be essential to expressing my journey. Your bringing out the writer in my S&S.
 
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Jim, you are in a unique position of experience of being able, with a little work, to tell the story from both sides - and to really examine both sides as you create your works might be truly enlightening; perhaps allowing you some relief. You have shared a little bit about yourself with me and I see no reason for your embarrassment to continue, all of us have charged off in a direction that we believe was correct at the time, only to realize later that we were mistaken according to our changed perspectives.

You and others have spoken about being Warriors, I dislike words with so many definitions that they cause confusion in normal conversations, and Warrior is one such word. I think that most people think of the word as having meaning only in war-like settings whereas it is perhaps more fitting to understand it as someone who has learned to control their emotions, not to deny them, but to know when and how to express them. So it isn't that they are fearless, it is more their ability to suspend their interference with the reality that they are currently dealing with where that energy can be better used. I would like to see you draw on that aspect of being a warrior; just as I would like to think that I understand the "other" meaning of the word.

In your posts here on this forum, you categorize your opponents as sociopaths. Perhaps by going deeper than just putting a label on them you might uncover parts of them, and yourself, that would help in some way.
 
Hi Ken. I am in a unique situation but speculating on how to go about writing a story is very different to actually writing one. There are things I just don't want to let into the public domain.

Now that I realised that I can't fight I can suspend that energy, but it has no outlet. Its all just pent up inside me now, resulting in a battle within me.

My current life opponents were sociopaths and I did uncover parts before unknown about them and myself. I just don't feel inclined to broadcast what I've found out. Its enough to say that I fought sociopaths and learnt about the nature of evil and my own nature.
 
Hi Jim,

That energy needs an outlet. Are you strong enough to contain it indefinitely? If not, it is likely to explode outwardly and unpredictably at some point. Alternately, it may end up causing that little "pop" on the inside when the fuse is overloaded and finally burns out.

I probably wear out C.S. Lewis, but he liked to quote the archetypal British Bobby with his truncheon for dilemmas: "Moight as well come along quietly." I.e., better to accept the inevitable and go along willingly than to get slugged and drug along by the scruff of your neck unwillingly.

As they sometimes say around here: "just my two cents."

Cordially,
S&S

PS--The outlet need not be writing, but something . . . .
 
I agree S&S. I definitely need an outlet. I do feel at times that I'm walking the tightrope of loosing control and your right, an explosion is too unpredictable to let occur.

C.S. Lewis' character handled it differently from me. When I was arrested I refused to move my legs towards a cell. I had to be carried. I didn't fight the police. I just made bloody sure they had to do the heavy lifting because I didn't think cooperating was worth expending the energy.

Thanks for your advice, but if I ever did write my story it would be for my eyes only.
 
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