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Denial phase

Owl

Owl

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Now, this is a topic that was the latest fashion back in 2007 but nowadays nobody talks about it: the denial phase. When past life issues become too hard, too strong, you' re just tired of it or you don' t want to deal with it anymore, then you put past lives on stand by, you go away, refuse to read anything related to reincarnation, you stay away from anything that would remind you of the past, you get determined to "live this life to the fullest and be happy". Of course it' s an unrealistic goal, because sooner or later the past strikes back and you can' t help but to deal with it.
It seemed that back then everyone had a denial phase, but now people doesn' t talk about it anymore. So the question is, have you gone through denial? if so, why? what took you out of your denial phase? What did you learn in the meanwhile? Have you had maybe a denial phase with your kids? when you don' t want to acknowledge that they had a past life but then you end up giving in to the idea?

I never had a denial phase myself (maybe just denial days) and I was opposed to the idea in the beginning. Now I understand why people go through it and I don' t see it as bad, it could even be an interesting experience.
 
I never had a denial phase...I had pondered the nonsensical aspect of our societal norm since I could formulate a question, which by all accounts was well before I was conscious of it. With that said, when the proof began to pile up on my doorstep and prohibit my leaving until I dealt with it, it began to be easier to accept...in a short while it was my norm and my truth...it made more sense than anything else presented by anyone else, regardless of apparant authority.


Of course, I am probably an anomoly...simply never really bought into the tried and true, staid and expected...fortunately for some reason people seemed to find value in listening to what I had to say despite its being slightly outside the accepted and understood, and I apparently have sufficient force of personality to prohibit others from swaying me from what makes sense to me.
 
I know this isn't quite the same, but I'm in a perpetual denial phase, Owl! I constantly fear that I've made this whole thing up just to entertain myself and that the details that I've verified were just a coincidence. And yet each day I understand a little more about myself and see how everything fits into the life I had before this one. I think my problem is that my proof came through before I'd even fully realised who I was. If I'd had time to take it all in, had some memories before I was given a name and a place, then I think I'd have found it a little more concrete. Oddly enough, I think I had a stronger belief in reincarnation before these most recent memories started to come through!


Anyway, here I am, logging into the forum every day and constantly searching online for the information that was denied me in my previous life. I know that many of us have doubts, but mine always seem to be enormous! I think I'm in denial about my denial. :laugh:
 
Whippoorwill said:
I know this isn't quite the same, but I'm in a perpetual denial phase, Owl! I constantly fear that I've made this whole thing up just to entertain myself and that the details that I've verified were just a coincidence. And yet each day I understand a little more about myself and see how everything fits into the life I had before this one. I think my problem is that my proof came through before I'd even fully realised who I was. If I'd had time to take it all in, had some memories before I was given a name and a place, then I think I'd have found it a little more concrete. Oddly enough, I think I had a stronger belief in reincarnation before these most recent memories started to come through!
Anyway, here I am, logging into the forum every day and constantly searching online for the information that was denied me in my previous life. I know that many of us have doubts, but mine always seem to be enormous! I think I'm in denial about my denial. :laugh:
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I hear you sister! I've had my days, but I used to remember things when I was little. Long before google was invented, so I don't need verifications to convince me. So, lucky me I guess.


As someone who grew up remembering things since childhood I've had a lot of time to think about this. 'Society' does not condone or reinforce this experience, which they describe as a 'belief system' or a religion or some other kind of psychological fiction. It's difficult sometimes to process the dissonance and sometimes I think it would be nice to just be like everybody else and only have one life to deal with. Other times I find it a very useful skill and am glad I've got this 'condition'.


I've described it before as being like someone who can see colour when everyone else is colour blind. How do you know you can see colours? How do you describe it to them so they'll understand what it's like? Even if they 'believe' you they still don't really 'get it'. So, sometimes it's best just to shut up about it and save your breath for those who know what you're talking about.


It can be a bit isolating, but I'm lucky to have you folk to talk to now and again. :)
 
Good to read I’m not the only one who has problems dealing with this. Whippoorwill, what you describe, the constant state of denial, is such an excellent way to describe it! Black and white vs. colour, hadn’t thought of it like that before, great metaphor Tanguerra :cool


Its only really in the last few weeks that it’s all started to feel too ‘real’ for me, especially now things are starting to come through easier during meditation and regression, even had a dream the other night which seemed to indicate a good friend from this life may have been my father last time round, which was almost too much to take in and left me with a lot of emotions to deal with. Sometimes I just want it all to go away again, back to being just a theoretical belief system with no strings attached. But at the same time, my natural curiosity (I’m nothing if not a good question-asking, answer-seeking scientist!) will probably always keep bringing me back. Even without my own memories (which are still pretty hazy and still no hard facts to verify it’s not all in my imagination), there’s still all the stuff that children say that are a clear sign that something is going on. But still, the thought that I could be just ‘making it all up’ to fulfil some kind of emotional gap or fantasy just won’t go away, and scares me a little that maybe I’m just deluding myself. Also integrating this into my life as more than just a philosophy has been very difficult. Hence why I sometimes think it would be easier if it would all just go away :(


Even so, I think in the long-run, maybe it’s better this way, to question and search for answers, no matter how difficult, rather than living without seeking and never learning anything?
 
helz_belz said:
the thought that I could be just ‘making it all up’ to fulfil some kind of emotional gap or fantasy just won’t go away, and scares me a little that maybe I’m just deluding myself.
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I used to feel the same way...these vivid dreams and seemingly powerful memories from no life I am leading right now always gave me pause. I began to focus more intently on them and found they included an emotional quotient, which when found, altered the entire view in my mind and resulted in a sense of ownership.


I do have a fertile imagination and can spin a yarn...but the stuff that is real is unmistakable, and takes me in directions I would not have gone. One of my clearest was from an indeterminate time period wherein I was an east Indian man from a small village and I always sought greater achievement. I worked my way up to be a minor clerk in a business in a nearby town and strove for bigger and better things. I was inadvertently killed while pushing a small girl out of harms way. This was such an improbable view of a place and event so far out of my mind set with such detail and clear motivations and inner thoughts that there was no way I could have made it up. My manufactured story would have included all kinds of odd, off-beat, circuitous turns if only to interest myself. In this case, the pure level of mundane and bucolic "regularity" would have bored me if it wasn't so amazingly live and filled with emotions and all the depth and weight of the baggage of life being lifted as I bled out on a dusty street. I also find that the strongest emotion I get when viewing myself or viewing from the eyes of the being I was, is the sense of judgment of that lifetime...the short comings, failures and lost opportunities are the first things that come up, while when I observe others, I have nothing but complimentary thoughts about how the others are playing their roles. Then the benefit that life brought my greater self becomes clear and my judgment is resolved.


This is my personal "freeform verification decision tree"...I hope it helps.
 
Thank you ustawuz, those are some very good pointers. Your story is very touching, just shows how important the emotional side to the memories is, which is something that is only just starting to come through for me. I will keep this in mind from now on :cool
 
I used to be in my denial phase for about 2-3 months. I know, it’s a whole lot. But I was really overwhelmed with my thoughts and discoveries that I decided to give it up. Or at least just postpone it. I couldn't believe what I had obviously seen with my own eyes and decided that I was making it all up. Or I just did not want to believe it.
 
No denial phase, but denial hours when I say to myself:" and if it was only my imagination!" Sometimes I ask my pendulum the same questions only to convince me I am not wrong. Then I just go on...
 
Ksenia said:
I used to be in my denial phase for about 2-3 months. I know, it’s a whole lot. But I was really overwhelmed with my thoughts and discoveries that I decided to give it up. Or at least just postpone it. I couldn't believe what I had obviously seen with my own eyes and decided that I was making it all up. Or I just did not want to believe it.
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Hi Ksenia,

Thanks for bringing this topic/thread to the attention of myself and others. I had not seen it before.

Cordially,
S&S
 
Denial?

Never had anything of the kind.

Accepted it as a possibility, with a sane dose of skepsis. Never denying it outright.

I think I cannot be downright sure even that I'm not a program in a big Matrix super-computer.

Chi vivra' - vedra' (who will live - will see).

Some day we shall all know this for sure.

IMHO
 
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I consider my past lives as a possibility, too. I’m not convinced of anything and I often go round in circles: Accepting and going with the flow of memories, then starting to doubt until I’m fed up and dismiss everything. Next I take a closer look at all my experiences and validations again and I become more accepting once more.

When I had a lot going on in my current life, I stopped thinking of reincarnation entirely for five years or so. It wasn’t denial, I just stopped caring whether it is true or not, put it all aside and decided to focus on current life completely. I couldn’t talk to anyone irl about my pl memories and it had started to feel like a secret I was hiding from everyone else. That was another reason why I wanted to stop dealing with it. During this time I didn’t have any new memories or flashbacks, and I almost forgot about the whole issue.
When things had settled down in my life, I began to think about reincarnation again, don’t really know why. Then new memories came up as well, though not as many and not as emotional ones as during the first years.

Compared to before, all the memories I had are just as clear and everything feels just the same, but I’m more chilled about everything and I’m less easily triggered.
 
Never really gone through a denial phase more of a doubt phase due to other people not believing in what I believe and labeling me as mental, which I'm starting to realize may not be true. Still it doesn't help that most others don't believe what I believe but at the same time I try to understand that people have the right to their beliefs. Still I don't think that gives them the right to label others who don't believe the same as mental. When I first started learning about reincarnation it helped me to cope with my fear of death I had as a kid. The idea of coming back as another person after death gives me a sense of comfort. Also to me it's kind of a happy thought that we can meet the reincarnation of those we have lost. I currently have a kitten that I believe might be the reincarnation of a cat I had that passed away a few years ago. The thought of that makes me happy. I just wish others could be more open to others beliefs instead of criticizing them. It's not like I go around knocking others down for what they believe. It seems these days the world is going more and more atheist and materialistic. While I have nothing against atheism that doesn't give others the right to knock down those who do believe.
 
I sometimes doubt that my memories are memories and not just imagination or cryptomnesia, but I never doubt that reincarnation is real. I also wouldn't call it denial. It's just that I never can be sure about people and events. Might have been similar people and events. Part of me says that it's all real, but I often don't remember my own name and don't have anything I could verify. Might be better to go for situations and pattern anyway, trying to learn from what didn't work out rather than clinging to a role I once played, a mask I once wore. I rather find out more about the actor.
 
I've always sort of known that reincarnation was a thing, even when I was deeply in a pre-existence, this-life-is-a-test, heaven-or-hell-is-the-reward religion for the first 20 years of my life. It's always made sense. So the existence of past lives isn't something I have trouble with. But sometimes it takes a while for me to feel like I'm not crazy when I discover a new past life, especially if there's historical significance surrounding them. I've been a writer all my life so it takes me time to make sure that what I'm experiencing is memory and not imagination. I wouldn't call it denial so much as I would call it caution or hesitation to accept without checking the facts. And sometimes the memories are TOO MUCH and I need to step back from them (for example, my last known life died in the atomic bombing of Nagasaki). Again, not really denial so much as... trauma processing on my own time. I have enough to deal with in this life that sometimes dealing with the past life has to go on the back burner.
 
SeekerOfKnowledge said:
I sometimes doubt that my memories are memories and not just imagination or cryptomnesia, but I never doubt that reincarnation is real. I also wouldn't call it denial. It's just that I never can be sure about people and events. Might have been similar people and events. Part of me says that it's all real, but I often don't remember my own name and don't have anything I could verify. Might be better to go for situations and pattern anyway, trying to learn from what didn't work out rather than clinging to a role I once played, a mask I once wore. I rather find out more about the actor.
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i completely feel this. to me, at the very least, the patterns themselves have valuable information to be learned from. so even if it would turn out that my PL wasn't my PL, on SOME level, even if only metaphorical, it's true that it's "my" past to learn from. but this is just what i tell myself to avoid feeling embarrassed about how much it feels like coming home to read about my PL lmao. i gained this rather forgiving perspective from a friend who firmly believes she had a past life in Atlantis, without needing to believe for certain that Atlantis was real. she still sees the story as hers to learn from.
 
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