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Extremely jealous of my sister

Anger is a very powerful emotion. Almost as powerful as love.

Think about what it might be deep down that makes you get so angry about seemingly little things with your sister. Are you angry with her? Are you angry with yourself? Maybe both? Why? Use your journal.

Frustration and anger come when things don't work out the way we imagined, or wanted, or hoped or... It's normal. It happens a lot. There may very well be some undercurrent of 'jealousy' coming up from the past, related to the incident you talked about above with the white dress.

The trick is to learn how to respond in the present life if we get 'triggered'. We might feel strong feelings, but not fully understand why. After a while, and some reflection, we can learn and improve the situation 'from now on', rather than just get 'mad' now.

It's not easy. I know.
 
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Sorry for the late reply.

I thought I was doing well with my jealousy but today I just couldn't handle it anymore. I had outbursts when my sister was talking about her 'simple' life which doesn't happen often anymore. Funny how certain situations can make me feel like this.
 
I think you'll find that your dreams will reflect your progress. When you start dreaming of your sister and recognizing jealousy (but choosing not to act on it) you will probably be at a point where you've learned to recognize the reasons for your jealousy and have started working on them. When you start dreaming of situations that you know would once have made you jealous (but not anymore) it's likely that you will have started the process of creating your own positive counters to fill the gaps in your life/perspective that have made you jealous for so long. When you start dreaming of your sister trying to provoke jealousy in you on purpose and just confidently pointing out that you have your own strengths and gifts, then you will have healed the jealousy completely and are well on your way to creating a future for yourself that you'll be proud of.

It's okay to have flare ups along the way. Emotions are affected by situations and thoughts like the ocean is affected by tides and storms. If you were already feeling disappointed, fighting off a cold, or were recently hurt by someone then those other feelings will make it easier to feel jealousy, like bumping into a bruise always hurts more than just bumping into something when you're not already in pain.

Don't attack yourself for that. It's no more "wrong" to feel those emotions than it is to feel the information your nerves send you when you stub your toe. Jealousy isn't your identity. It's merely a sign that there's something painful in you. What you can take from feeling jealousy is "I am in pain!" And the logical followup is to ask yourself "Why?" because unlike the furniture you clearly stubbed your toe on, emotions respond to invisible obstacles and it's not always the first reason that comes to mind in reality. It's useless to just blame your sister or yourself, because that's not going to solve the problem of bumping into painful things. That would be like blaming a chair for hurting you, when really what happened is that you walked through in the dark and kicked its leg by accident. It happens, but it's not really anyone's fault.

If you figure out how to install a light in that room, you might never stub your toe on that chair (or feel jealousy when you bump into your sister's normal existence) again ... does this illustration help? I don't know what the light will be for you, but I do know you can eventually learn some truth or approach to life that will help you see clearly how to avoid and heal this pain. And you will then (with time and conscious practice) reach the point where you no longer even have a bruise from all the times you've run into this problem before.

For now thank your emotions for trying to take care you. Next, do something that always makes you feel good, especially something that is all about you taking care of yourself. Maybe a relaxing bath, calming music, a long walk, playing with a pet, art, talking to someone who appreciates you, writing in a journal, reading an inspiring story, etc.

This jealousy isn't all of you. You are so much more, and it's okay to focus on enjoying all the things you can do for yourself already. You will naturally add more over time. After all, that's part of the reason we step into time and become involved with the tangible world in the first place. You can play life like you play a game, if you want. You get to choose which skills to level up, and there are so many options available to you.
 
TheGagagirl1234 said:
I thought I was doing well with my jealousy but today I just couldn't handle it anymore. I had outbursts when my sister was talking about her 'simple' life which doesn't happen often anymore. Funny how certain situations can make me feel like this.
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Try to think more deeply about why this comment about a 'simple life' may have set you off? There may be something behind it that you can't put your finger on yet. Keep working on it. Use your journal.

MD has given you some very good advice. Dreams can be great clues. Try not to beat yourself up if you 'lose it' now and again. As long as things are slowly improving, that's good. It's not always easy to break old patterns. But, being aware of them is the first step.
 
Thanks for the awesome replies so far! I really appreiciate it! Especially MD for taking time to give me the good advice.

My familly, sister and I are going on holiday in a few days. I've 'ruined' so many holidays because of my jealousy and I fear that it will happen again.

I'm sorry if I sound rude in anyway I was just curious to know if my feelings could be past life related.
 
TheGagagirl1234 said:
I'm sorry if I sound rude in anyway I was just curious to know if my feelings could be past life related.
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How could this be rude? It's a good thing to ask for advice and help when you're overwhelmed or wondering about something.

Past life associations can make emotions even more difficult to figure out, and while none of us can say for certain where the jealousy began ... thankfully, there are things you can do to work through the emotions either way.

I hope your vacation goes well and you have a lot of enjoyable experiences.
 
Thanks for replying!

It just seems like its impossible to get rid of the jealousy. I've been jealous of my sister ever since I was 11 (I'm 21 now). I have tried so many things but it doesn't really help.
My grandmother is currently experiencing the opposite of my situation. Her sister is extremely jealous of her! Unfortunately they never see each other, which is a shame. She has done many terrible things to my grandmother (too many to caunt!). I can totally relate to her feelings but at least I'm able to control them (depends on the situation).
 
Hey

You are not rude, you are just trying to find help. It's positive thing, coz you are aware that you are in this neg behavior & try to figure out how to overcome this.

if u have extremely jealousy in this life, it might be it was your biggest failure in your past life; thus, you must re-experience it until you manage to evercome this feeling.

I had learned that jealousy is a type of attachment; you cling onto something that you don't have from other person you are jealous at.
In other words, you yourself have created that feeling, not someone else caused you have this negative emotion. To overcome this, after you acknowledge that the fact you are jealous and let it go, you should learn to rejoice & be happy for your sister. The antidote is, be proud of her, be joyful/ happy to her fortune & be proud of yourself to be her sister, be feel lucky that you are related to someone famous, feel blessed with the relationship between your famous sis & u. Enjoy this special connection!!! There are many girls wanted to know some famous people in her school or city, they dont have this luck, but u, you are truly fortunate to be the sister of a popular girl at school.

Sharing my own story:
My sis was the flower in her school, even in our city, but I've never been jealous of her, I even feel proud to be her sis. And believe me, she knows & feels how I proud of her, she always was happy to take me with her whenever she got invited to dinners & parties, she shared me her stuffs and those guys even tried to pamper me with great things in order to get her attention.

It's her luck, but it's also a blessing for you, if u could rejoice sincerely & be happy for her. Love her, the universe will bring your love back, it's a law of attraction

Don't forget to see the uniqueness in yourself, what u r good at, that she is not. Remember & feel thankful with what you have, that she doesn't have. You will see that no one is perfect, but also each of us is unique in our own way. Embrace fully your whole being, coz each of us was born with different assets to fulfill different purpose in life.
 
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I just had flareups again! I thought our vacation was going well when I suddenly lost my temper. She was talking about herself again (as almost always). We played a game which I lost and I was angry already before we even started playing. Our conversation went to an argument:

My sister: *wins game*
Me: You're always so lucky!
My sister: Wow, take it easy! Its just a game!
Me: I don't care. I didn't ask for my life *throws cards at the table, walks away and slamming doors*

I truly regret my behavior now. But I don't understand why I keep losing my temper no matter what I do.
 
Controling temper is most difficult.

I had battled this for few years, when I decided to completely get my anger under control. Now, I'm happy with the result where I am now (strongly reduced, very minimal i must say, before start coming out the fire, I mostly managed to stop the smoke by stopping giving reaction to my anger)
So when I start get mad, I stop
And take a deep breath & tell myself that anger not real, I can choose to be angry or not to b angry. If i getangry, im the one who will b hurt, the other person wint get affected, so for what we punish ourselves??

When start feel the urge, pain, heat, fire in my chest, I focus on that & keep breathing slowly, and just imagine take water and splash on fire & keep breathing SLOWLY & deeply to let it cool down. Another thing, when u are already mad, then u have to cool it down first.

Or talk about it to yr sis, maybe she understands & try to help u?
Just tell her u dunno why u r jealous of her only, but not other, wonder if u guys had history in the past/ PL

Btw. Sure u r jealous at her only & not to anyone else?

Well, my sis always talk about her, how the guys chased her, what happened at school. Well, I have nvr been disturbed because of that, I think I just really proud of her, thought that her life is so much more interesting than mine, so I like to hear her stories, I even keep asking her, "and then what happened sis, tell me more" i was really interested. Maybe that's how I switched my mind

U know, our heart have button, when u feel neg emotions in your chest, it's because u forgot to switch the button in yr mind. U have to reprogram "I'm proud of my sis, not jealous", then confirm & affirm it. It takes some time to reprogram

So when u start noticing your anger & jealousy arise, u have to catch it as fast as possible, stop whatever u r doing, just say excuse me, step aside, give yrself time and start keep repeating words in your heart "i'm proud of my sis, im not angry nor jealous at her" while focusing the burn in your heart, keep saying that until u notice the neg emotion cool down in yr chest.

And if there r things like games or topic of conversation that keep making u angry or jealous, maybe it's a good idea to talk to yr sis nicely not to talk about it, just ask her to help you change yourself. Sometimes, when u r honest, she would be happy if u tell her, and maybe she even reflect herself & notice that she's self-centered, so she might try to change herself too. Who knows

If it doesnt help after 1-2 months, u can try PL regression to find out, but if in the past u had similar situations, I doubt it u can do much, but only try to change yourself.

Oh before I forgot, before u sleep, when u go to bed. U repeat the sentence (affirmation) above, at least 7x with strong willingness. Each time u sleep, u r uploading datas to universal databank & leave the imprints there, by doing so, you will erase your unsatisfaction to yr sis on that day & uploading your new data. If on that day, u feel so much disturbed by her; then, u keep repeating the sentence until u fall asleep. Dont forget to do this EVERYTIME u r going to sleep or take nap. U will notice the change slowly. U can add more sentences for yourself too like "i'm PATIENT, i'm unique, i'm happy"

Remember not to fall asleep or go to sleep with anger, so cool it down first by watching positive film on tv, like comedy to give u a laugh & happiness

I use same method to control my anger. When your anger of the day gone, try to forget everything & rebuild new relationship with yr sis, good one. Dont avoid her.

U know, everyday we rebirth, when the night is over is just like we are dead, so just leave the baggage of the day behind, dont take it on the next day, feel that every morning is a glory & happiness for u, and everything starts new

when we r mad at someone, whatever they say might sound bad to us, so just say "sorry" to stop everything nicely, in yr case e.g."sorry, i dont know why I'm mad when u keep talking about yrself, as if im nothing for u. And then, u won the game & make me feel even more not worth. Something wrong with me, but I'll try my best to fix this" Just say sorry, then explain her nicely about yr feeling. If u try to build good relationship towards yr sis by being honest to her & try to change, she would try to step back to help u with this, like she might evtl. Have more interest to know about yr day, rather than talking about herself.

U should play something that is not competitive, play game that build friendship, and u should be in same team as her

Now, u regret of yr neg behavior, it's good that if u can go to her in private, ask her if she's busy, coz u wanna talk to her, first thing, tell her sorry for yr behavior, then in conversation should be telling more about your issue, emotion etc, NOT talking things that what u think wrong about her, nor things u dont like about her, coz if u say this, she might think u come to talk to her to blame/wrong her. Then, things get worse.

In case, she 's not interested in yr matter, then no problem. I think, not everbody likes everyone, but it doesnt mean u guys have to become enemies.

I recently had an issue with my bro, because of different opinions, but I dont want we fight nor become enemy. He was rude, used bad words towards me. I felt the pressure in my heart, so I told him, "because of such silly conversation we argue intensely, I think it's not worth, I wanna stop talking about it since we would never come to agree, so before things get worse, let's stop & forget everything & have a new start."

So once i told him this, i count case is closed, so I left all negs behind, I want to stay friends with my bro, so I keep trying to speak normal, always include him in family conversation. He actually ignored me, but now he just talked to me again. It's nice to have 1 more friend, then 1 more enemy. But if the person is difficult to be friended, then u dont need to hate, but just be friendly & respect. If u think, it's impossible to build friendship with sis, then u just dont keep looking for her, but not avoiding. I mean be normal like when u meet friends at school, not so closed but still try to b friendly

Good luck to u
 
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I was fortunate to have resolved jealousy issues early in life by mentally working through all of the outcomes my mind generated so I can not offer more than this other possible problem.

Here is a section of a book I'm reading:
Dr. Amen is able to observe how mold affects the brain on a physical level. He explained that in the scans he’s seen, mold exposure visibly damages the amygdala, the part of your brain that is involved in impulsive, reactive emotions such as fear, anger, and anxiety. An impaired amygdala can cause you to fly into a rage for seemingly no reason. This can devastate your performance, not to mention your relationships. Dr. Amen says that people whose brain scans reveal toxic mold exposure often hate themselves because they don’t know why they’re having such a difficult time controlling their emotions— that is, until they see the image of their brain looking visibly impaired.
Asprey, Dave. Head Strong: The Bulletproof Plan to Activate Untapped Brain Energy to Work Smarter and Think Faster-in Just Two Weeks (Kindle Locations 2413-2417). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
 
Just a bit of practical advice that might help you. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, is testier when they are tired and hungry. Especially hungry. Try to avoid potential tense conversations in the late afternoon or before lunch. If it can not be avoided, you might want to try snacking regularly - healthy stuff, like nuts, cheese, carrot sticks. Sugar will only make you more volatile when the crash comes.
 
TheGagagirl1234 said:
Looks and status etc.
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Can u ask your sis some tips for make-up or how to dress up instead of being jealous?

Actually,
You know to be beautiful inside in your heart is more important than outlook appearance. This is the true blessing. One looks ugly if they have black heart & dark behavior, eventho he/she looks handsome/ pretty. Being content to your own look, love yourself, I think this is what you have to learn in your life.

Btw why do u think u need to look more beautiful than u r now? To attract guys? or something else? If to attract guys; then, u wont find true love. Coz guys like girl only because of the beauty, means one day if this girl turns old & not look so beautiful anymore, will be abandoned. So it matters more to attract guys who can accept u the way u r.

If to increase a bit self-esteem, ummm maybe just make a little change to style should help.
Do u have a pic of you? Maybe a little hairdo and some make-up can help u gain self-confidence? I dont know, I just try to help.

As about status, what is it so interesting with status? In fact celebrities' life & status are the least things I'm attracted to. I'd rather give up the status I earned thru my parents, and work from the bottom from zero honestly. I find I have sort of great achievement feeling this way. Even I have earned status, but I'd rather being with common friends. High status is too stressful lifestyle for me, have to mind a lot self-image, why would we have to care what others think about us? Why should we need others' acceptance? I dont see there's a reason for us to satisfy others' desire how they want us to satisfy their ideal expectation about us. Just be ourselves is best

May I know where u r from? So maybe i can understand a bit of your culture.
 
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I still have a terrible time controlling my temper, and I am in my 50s. I still have the occasional temper outburst, even at my age. In the past, these have often been very destructive in my work and my personal relationships. The good news: it gets easier.

Try to work out what triggers you. What sets you off? It will be a 'thing'. You may not know what it is yet. That's OK.

I, personally, hate being told what to do. I annoys me terribly. The feeling that someone wants to control or boss me drives me crazy. Because I'm smarter than those people.Because I always know exactly what I'm doing and why. Because everyone else is a big dummy and I (usually) have a plan behind what I'm doing and nobody understands me...even if I try to explain it...They don't get it. I hate to be told I'm doing it wrong or even questioned (right?).

I'm not good at 'receiving feedback'. It makes me very cross. :)

But it gets better with practice, like everything. Nowadays I can take feedback without going 'postal' (usually). I think it's because I always question myself pretty hard before I do anything, then I 'lose it' if someone else questions me on top of that. It's complicated.

My sister: *wins game*
Me: You're always so lucky!
My sister: Wow, take it easy! Its just a game!
Me: I don't care. I didn't ask for my life *throws cards at the table, walks away and slamming doors*
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For you Gaga, it's this jealousy thing, obviously, but WHY? That's the deeper question. Does this only happen with your sister or with other people too? Something to work on. Is it something to do with luck? It takes time. Baby steps.
 
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@Myna My sister cares a lot about her status and friends which annoys me so much!
I didn't go to a therapist. (As far as I know)
But there's only one good thing about my autism issue: I can write stories well and I'm planning to publish them one day!

@tanguerra I've got a couple of questions about PLR and other stuff. I'll send a PM to you :)
 
TheGagagirl1234 said:
@Myna My sister cares a lot about her status and friends which annoys me so much!
I didn't go to a therapist. (As far as I know)
But there's only one good thing about my autism issue: I can write stories well and I'm planning to publish them one day!

@tanguerra I've got a couple of questions about PLR and other stuff. I'll send a PM to you :)
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Ok so they kind of show off then

So if u dont like, just dont get involved

And it's even least for u to envy or be jealous at her. Why would u be jealous for something not worth? Showing off is not a nice traits in my opinion, so i see no reason for u to be 1 of them.

I love writing stories too. Pls do publish
If u r good at this, u should nurture it to flurish, forget about the beauty & status, there is other thing a lot more worth than these e.g. Your writing talent.

Another thing to advice:
Sometimes, u have to be ready to know your past. I've been able to see what some ppl might call as psychic for so many years, I saw visions of past, but since they appeared randomly & just in short clips so i didnt understand, pretty much confusing to me. Recently, it seems I've been granted to see all the details from start to end of 1 of my PL. It was a shocked for me & I didn't expect, I was involved in such matters, because seeing how different I am in my present life, like my personalities, my interests, my dislikes, etc.
Since 1-2 weeks ago, I start writing down a journal all my confusing visions, and posted here to get some help in research, so I discovered my PL. Then since 2 days ago, I have another visions of my PL that gave me even more shock, but I can't tell or publish much yet, untilI collect some more visions to post, because I must be able to rewrite the calligraphy, so I need to wait more visions to come to show me those letters again.
Snyway, I wasn't proud of what I was in my different PLs & start understanding all the challenges I must face in this life. When we experience something this life, it is because what we have created in the past, there's no coincidence. Just live well this life as much as u can, be a better person. I'm also like u, I'm learning. My advice is not given because I know better than u or anyone else, but because I feel in same situation as yours and maybe akso as others who have difficult challenges in this life. So I'm here to learn myself better & try to help others as much as I could.

Anyway, When u could see your past, just be ready for whatever it comes & u might understand more why your present life is so challenging for u & thus u can accept yrself situation & condition better.

I saw my PLs, and I regreted for what I have done previously, so in this life, I wanna make sure that instead hurting them like in the past, I wanna make sure that I help a lot of people as much as I could instead. I wanna be a different person, be a better human & living being.

Unfortunately, I cant help u suggest how to regress through trances because I've never done it before, mine came by itself, it's like part of my daily routines.
 
@Myna I usually do PLRs with hypnosis/trance meditation because I get anxious when I'm doing actual PLRs. I think it's more comfortable for me because I don't have to focus directly on memories.
 
TheGagagirl1234 said:
I got a few memories during hypnosis. But it's not enough I guess.
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It takes a bit of practice. Keep trying. Also you might sometimes get impressions after you've done a meditation, like the next day. This can happen. Just note them all in your journal. Eventually the dots will start to join up.
 
TheGagagirl1234 said:
Ever since my sister started getting friends at school and becoming popular I've been extremely jealous of her. I'm 21 now and I have autism which prevents me from doing the same things as my sister and the rest of my family who doesn't have autism. I'm sick and tired of being jealous of her, and no matter what I do it doesn't go away. I'm really depressed because of my jealousy, and it has caused serious problems in our relationship. The rest of my family have the same kind of life as my sister, but I'm not jealous of them (I'm the only one who has autism). I wonder if my jealousy could be past life related or if it's just because she's only 18 and can do whatever she wants to do. I've never had a long friendship, and most of my 'friends' are only acquaintances. I just want to accept myself, but I can't and I probably never will because of my jealousy. What do you think about this?
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I am the same age as you and I also have autism. My sister is the same age as your sister, and I am also a bit jealous of her. I don't know if your jealousy is past life related, but I've found that the one thing that curbs my jealousy is to focus on my strengths. Try to focus on your strengths, and what you can do.
 
TheCuriousOne2 said:
I am the same age as you and I also have autism. My sister is the same age as your sister, and I am also a bit jealous of her. I don't know if your jealousy is past life related, but I've found that the one thing that curbs my jealousy is to focus on my strengths. Try to focus on your strengths, and what you can do.
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Thank you for replying! I really needed to hear this. My sister makes my life so difficult! :(
 
Sorry for bumping this up, but I just need to share something important! My sister and her friend are going to travel away for a few months, and she won’t even be home for Christmas. Today we held a goodbye-party for her and the whole family. A few years ago I would not even do such things on a regular day. But I went to the party, and it was actually really fun! We had no arguments and fights, we were just hanging out like nothing had happened between us. For the first time in many, many years, I realized that I really do love her! I felt guilty about being jealous of her (I’m still often jealous but my feelings aren’t as strong as they used to be).
Does that mean my jealousy is healing or going away soon?
 
What do I know?
Personally, I think that it is always good to be at peace with your relatives. With no harsh feelings involved.
They won't be there forever, not in their current incarnation, and maybe we should take the chance to resolve whatever issues we are having with them.
Lest it will lead to even more carry-overs... but that should not be the reason to seek love, peace, what ever.
If you love your sister, you should tell her. And not care about her reaction.
 
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