Something happened when I was 13 and began researching the Vietnam War for an open power point project for my english class, an open topic project, I chose the Vietnam War and my life has never been the same. During my research I stumbled upon the story of a soldier who was KIA and was a medal of honour recipient. His story and his photo hit me so hard that I have never forgotten his face or his name. I can't explain why I was so fixated upon upon him, there was just something special, so special that I spent four years and three attempts trying to locate his name on the Vietnam Wall. The first time I visited the wall, I was 14, and as soon as I approached the memorial, I fell to my knees and began sobbing uncontrollably. When my Father later on stated that he'd cry if he ever visited the Wall (he grew up during the war), he'd probably cry too because he knew people who died, and in the back of my mind and in my heart I knew that was exactly why I had cried and how I felt. It felt like I had come face to face to a memorial that people I had grown up with and knew, their names were listed on. I couldn't find the soldier's name the first time, because I did not know that his first two letters of his last name Mc are listed in the back of the "M" section, the second time (and four years later) I had a misspelling, the third time I finally located his name*
Other things I should note: a year before I had researched the Vietnam War and stumbled upon the soldier, I saw "Divine secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" with my sister and mother. There was a scene in the film where Ashley Judd's character is being scolded by her new husband because she is still in love with her first love who was KIA in WWII. This scene caused me to bawl so uncontrollably and I don't even know why (it wasn't because it was a sad scene), that my mother and sister asked me what was wrong. Because I did not know, I lied and said something was irritating me in the theatre.
Any story or song where a female looses their boyfriend, husband in a war I start crying. An example of this (besides the film) is Jimmie Rodger's "Soldier's Sweetheart", a line in the song I connected with instantly: "and I'll always live a single life for the soldier who was so true". I have this inability to connect romantically with ANY guy I have ever come across, and part of me or, I believe is because I am in love with a dead soldier, or it is left over from my past life, and I actually have no problem with this at all.
Last but not least, when I located the soldier's name on the wall something a little errie happened. It was a cold day, and had rained the night before, causing the numbers on the wall's panels (1 W, 2 W etc) to be illegible unless I wiped them, so I had to count to his panel by outloud, and due to his line number, I knew I'd have to count all the lines too. Well as soon as I looked up to his panel, I realized I had no need to count to find his name, because his name was literally glowing back at me. It stood out like a green thumb, all the rest of the names on his panel were not glowing and his was. I took a picture (Polaroid) and this showed up too, sadly I don't know where the Polaroid is, it's somewhere in my house, and his name still stands out in the photo too. I have no explanation for this. There are other incidents I have that I cannot explain, and i'm curious if I should research more?
(Mind you that no one in my family died in Vietnam, and 1/2 of my family died in the Holocuast, I did not even cry after I left the Holocuast museum)
Other things I should note: a year before I had researched the Vietnam War and stumbled upon the soldier, I saw "Divine secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" with my sister and mother. There was a scene in the film where Ashley Judd's character is being scolded by her new husband because she is still in love with her first love who was KIA in WWII. This scene caused me to bawl so uncontrollably and I don't even know why (it wasn't because it was a sad scene), that my mother and sister asked me what was wrong. Because I did not know, I lied and said something was irritating me in the theatre.
Any story or song where a female looses their boyfriend, husband in a war I start crying. An example of this (besides the film) is Jimmie Rodger's "Soldier's Sweetheart", a line in the song I connected with instantly: "and I'll always live a single life for the soldier who was so true". I have this inability to connect romantically with ANY guy I have ever come across, and part of me or, I believe is because I am in love with a dead soldier, or it is left over from my past life, and I actually have no problem with this at all.
Last but not least, when I located the soldier's name on the wall something a little errie happened. It was a cold day, and had rained the night before, causing the numbers on the wall's panels (1 W, 2 W etc) to be illegible unless I wiped them, so I had to count to his panel by outloud, and due to his line number, I knew I'd have to count all the lines too. Well as soon as I looked up to his panel, I realized I had no need to count to find his name, because his name was literally glowing back at me. It stood out like a green thumb, all the rest of the names on his panel were not glowing and his was. I took a picture (Polaroid) and this showed up too, sadly I don't know where the Polaroid is, it's somewhere in my house, and his name still stands out in the photo too. I have no explanation for this. There are other incidents I have that I cannot explain, and i'm curious if I should research more?
(Mind you that no one in my family died in Vietnam, and 1/2 of my family died in the Holocuast, I did not even cry after I left the Holocuast museum)
