BlossomFinleyKensington
Active Member
I believe I had a past life in the late Georgian to the Early Victorian Era. I have always loved the era and felt connected to it. I love the fashion, the music, my morals of courtship and manners are far more in tune with that era.
I remember going to a ball in the Regency Era, I remember meeting a man there and dancing with him. I remember marrying him and spending many happy years with him. I have memories of him all my life, even asking for him. Dreaming of him. I miss him so much and the life we had.
I never never felt in anyway connected to this age. I often go to the countryside, to old fashioned villages and stately homes and it makes me feel a little bit better for a while. I feel connected and home.
I have always felt that wanting to go home feeling, I never have felt truly happy. I always feel out of place. And I miss my husband from my past life so much. He was my soulmate, we were so happy, best friends. Loved each other more and more each day. I remember so many of the times we spent together. I remember our first meeting, our courtship. That he asked me to marry him during a picnic in a beautiful meadow. I remember the wedding, moving into his house. Evenings spent playing card games, sat by the fire snuggled and reading together. I remember having our children. He would play the piano and during our curtship and whole life, he would write pieces for me. I remember his death which is painful for me to remember. I laid with him as he passed away and held on to him hours after he had gone. I do not remember the funeral, I have a strong feeling I did not pass long after him. That we just could not live without each other.
I have always struggled to fit in, I get pleasure from doing the activities that would have been present at the time, dressmaking, reading, card games and lawn games. I like candlelight more than electric and like things like writing with quills, letters.
I am very lonely. People seem to be repelled by my interests and way I live. I have never dated, my ideas of courtship are more suited to the 19th century. And I feel I cannot connect with anyone, I still feel so deeply in love with my husband. It is like I only want him. I remember in a personal development lesson at school, we had to write a list of qualities in an ideal partner. My teacher said that my list seemed to only relate to one person, that it was describing an indivdual, not a few desirable common traits or behaviours.
My List was things like a English country dancer, kind heartered, romantic, loves the countryside, musician/composer. Brave, likes to read, my best friend. Always gets rid of the spider. I even wrote how I remember him to look, the suits he wore. His curly light brown hair, his blue eyes. That he was a head taller than me. It was my teacher saying that, that made me realise that he is what I want. I hate that I have come back, and the more time passes, the more I feel he hasn't. I wish we both truly passed on together
I dream about him a lot, and I wake up crying because I miss him, if I think about him before sleeping I cry myself to sleep.
I feel a bit happier, more at home when reading well written and well produced films and books set in the era, but as soon as they are over I cry, I cry because I am back to this world. If there was anyway for me to go back to that time I would in a heartbeat. I know I would be happier then. I had the love that most of us dream of, a beautiful grand house, beautiful children. I was happy. And in this life, I have no friends, my family don't understand my emotions, I lie about what I cry about. I feel I am stuck and will never be happy. I never have felt true happiness, where I wake up happy and go to sleep happy. It's always sadness.
As a child even a young child when we were told to draw dresses, I would make mine in the style of the regency and the men would wear the suits. Cities like Bath make me feel at home, while I feel like an out of place ghost in modern parts of cities. The more and more the techonology progresses the more and more I want to go home. As I said previously, I have this feeling of wanting to go home. As a child I would often say despite being 'home' I want to go home. My parents would try and say I was home. But I 'd cry and say I want to go home. I recently found a Welsh word: hiraeth- to miss something or somewhere of the past that you cannot return to.
I just miss my husband, our life and the era so much. It makes me so sad to be here. I often get the 'you have it better now, the medicine etc' but in all honesty, I would rather live less years but be happy, than live 80+ being miserable.
I hope and pray he has been reincarnated too, or that this is my last reincarnation so I can be with him truly again. I don't know how much longer I can keep living like this
I remember going to a ball in the Regency Era, I remember meeting a man there and dancing with him. I remember marrying him and spending many happy years with him. I have memories of him all my life, even asking for him. Dreaming of him. I miss him so much and the life we had.
I never never felt in anyway connected to this age. I often go to the countryside, to old fashioned villages and stately homes and it makes me feel a little bit better for a while. I feel connected and home.
I have always felt that wanting to go home feeling, I never have felt truly happy. I always feel out of place. And I miss my husband from my past life so much. He was my soulmate, we were so happy, best friends. Loved each other more and more each day. I remember so many of the times we spent together. I remember our first meeting, our courtship. That he asked me to marry him during a picnic in a beautiful meadow. I remember the wedding, moving into his house. Evenings spent playing card games, sat by the fire snuggled and reading together. I remember having our children. He would play the piano and during our curtship and whole life, he would write pieces for me. I remember his death which is painful for me to remember. I laid with him as he passed away and held on to him hours after he had gone. I do not remember the funeral, I have a strong feeling I did not pass long after him. That we just could not live without each other.
I have always struggled to fit in, I get pleasure from doing the activities that would have been present at the time, dressmaking, reading, card games and lawn games. I like candlelight more than electric and like things like writing with quills, letters.
I am very lonely. People seem to be repelled by my interests and way I live. I have never dated, my ideas of courtship are more suited to the 19th century. And I feel I cannot connect with anyone, I still feel so deeply in love with my husband. It is like I only want him. I remember in a personal development lesson at school, we had to write a list of qualities in an ideal partner. My teacher said that my list seemed to only relate to one person, that it was describing an indivdual, not a few desirable common traits or behaviours.
My List was things like a English country dancer, kind heartered, romantic, loves the countryside, musician/composer. Brave, likes to read, my best friend. Always gets rid of the spider. I even wrote how I remember him to look, the suits he wore. His curly light brown hair, his blue eyes. That he was a head taller than me. It was my teacher saying that, that made me realise that he is what I want. I hate that I have come back, and the more time passes, the more I feel he hasn't. I wish we both truly passed on together
I dream about him a lot, and I wake up crying because I miss him, if I think about him before sleeping I cry myself to sleep.
I feel a bit happier, more at home when reading well written and well produced films and books set in the era, but as soon as they are over I cry, I cry because I am back to this world. If there was anyway for me to go back to that time I would in a heartbeat. I know I would be happier then. I had the love that most of us dream of, a beautiful grand house, beautiful children. I was happy. And in this life, I have no friends, my family don't understand my emotions, I lie about what I cry about. I feel I am stuck and will never be happy. I never have felt true happiness, where I wake up happy and go to sleep happy. It's always sadness.
As a child even a young child when we were told to draw dresses, I would make mine in the style of the regency and the men would wear the suits. Cities like Bath make me feel at home, while I feel like an out of place ghost in modern parts of cities. The more and more the techonology progresses the more and more I want to go home. As I said previously, I have this feeling of wanting to go home. As a child I would often say despite being 'home' I want to go home. My parents would try and say I was home. But I 'd cry and say I want to go home. I recently found a Welsh word: hiraeth- to miss something or somewhere of the past that you cannot return to.
I just miss my husband, our life and the era so much. It makes me so sad to be here. I often get the 'you have it better now, the medicine etc' but in all honesty, I would rather live less years but be happy, than live 80+ being miserable.
I hope and pray he has been reincarnated too, or that this is my last reincarnation so I can be with him truly again. I don't know how much longer I can keep living like this
