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My 4yo Daughter says 'When I was a boy'

Yesterday she also said that she worked on a tall ship. I asked her what her job was. She says she was the skipper. Then she said if they were lucky they got to sail out at night. My husband thinks that maybe she's referring to having shore leave at night.
 
I don't think it means shore leave. I think for a tall ship to leave the harbor at night would have to have moonlight and a wind or breeze blowing in the right direction. Things we don't even think about today. It sounds like your husband does not think she is crazy or imagining things. Correct? That's great. If she thinks you don't believe her she will clam up. I wonder if this was the same life as Scotland with the goat?
 
I'm pretty sure she believes its the same life because she always says, When I was a boy... But it could possibly be different lives too.


Yes my husband believes too. He has heard many stories over the years about others experiences. He also lost his dad 10 years ago. They were very close. So I guess this makes him think about the afterlife but also upsets him so I don't like to discuss everything I think about with him. If that makes sense.
 
twolittleloves said:
So I guess this makes him think about the afterlife but also upsets him so I don't like to discuss everything I think about with him. If that makes sense.
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I understand. Most of us say things here we can't discuss with anyone else or maybe a very few friends if we are lucky.
 
twolittleloves said:
Yesterday she also said that she worked on a tall ship. I asked her what her job was. She says she was the skipper. Then she said if they were lucky they got to sail out at night.
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Hi twolittleloves, if your daughter mentions the ship again, ask if it had a name.


Thanks for sharing your story.
 
It's interesting that she used the term "skipper". I would imagine that most 4 year old's wouldn't know what a skipper is.
 
fascinating


Like ChrisR I am also intrigued by the use of "skipper" by a four year old. Did she really use that word?


It is fascinating to think about what all must be going on in the little mind. Even though she metnions about it only now and then, I wonder if she is always aware of "when I was a boy" time or does it just pass like a flash in her mind. How to determine that?


Aren't these kind of open-ended non-suggestive question here and there harmless?:


1. When you were a boy what was your name? And your sister's?


2. Who was your best friend?


3. what was your favorite food?


5. What did you wear?


6. which song did you like?


Just some thoughts! And, thanks for your posts. You are good parents.


AKP
 
Has she ever seen pictures of tall ships? Maybe show her different kinds of tall ships and see if she recognizes any of them. If she could remember the name of the ship or type of ship that would also be a clue. Maybe she was in the Royal Navy?
 
AKP said:
It is fascinating to think about what all must be going on in the little mind. Even though she metnions about it only now and then, I wonder if she is always aware of "when I was a boy" time or does it just pass like a flash in her mind. How to determine that?
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My experience as a child was much the same as it still is - the occasional 'flash back' when something reminded me of something. It seemed perfectly normal to me.
 
Her anxiety doesn't necessarily have to be directly related to her memories -- it may be that the fact that she understands things you haven't told her causes her some anxiety because she's not quite sure how to handle it emotionally. One thing is to know things and another is to be able to process them. My cousin was also very afraid of anything unknown or strange, and needed a thorough explanation of why it was harmless. It sounds like typical behaviour, some children are very afraid of loud noises and strangers while others don't mind them.


I assume you already do this, but just in case, I think you should just make it very clear to her that she can tell you about anything and ask her about anything, and that there are no off-limits questions (and then honour that and don't get upset if she asks something you think is wrong, just explain why). Making sure that she feels comfortable talking to you is a good way of also making sure that anything she can't deal with emotionally or which seems daunting and scary can also be discussed with you, so you can help her along the way. I feel like this isn't just the case with your daughter but with many other children as well, kids are far more perceptive and intelligent than we give them credit for, and trying to avoid that fact will make it harder for them to openly discuss any problems and negative emotions with adults they trust.
 
twolittleloves said:
When I was a boy... Um Where do people live who wear kilts. (I said Scotland.) oh yes Scotland. I lived in Scotland and had a pet goat who tried to eat my clothes.
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Thank you for sharing all of this twolittleloves! It is wonderful to read. Your daughter is at the perfect age to be having these memories surface. 1) read Carol Bowmans book (it will help you understand how to relate to her tremendously), and 2) start a journal and write ALL of this down.


Keep up the great work of listening with an open mind. And keep us updated with what she keeps telling you! I hope you learn more about the ship...
 
I swear I've either heard "chase the face you don't like" or something to that effect before. There is the "Ballad of Chevy Chase" which is English, but according to Wikipedia:

The ballads tell the story of a large hunting party upon a parcel of hunting land (or chase) in the Cheviot Hills, hence the term, Chevy Chase. The hunt is led by Percy, the English Earl of Northumberland. The Scottish Earl of Douglas had forbidden this hunt and interpreted it as an invasion of Scotland. In response he attacked, causing a bloody battle after which only 110 people survived. Both ballads were collected in Thomas Percy's Reliques and the first of the ballads in Francis James Child's Child Ballads.
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Perhaps your daughter's comments are related to this ballad? Also based on a few google search results, it seems "Chevy chase, the face" was also common rhyming slang.


I'm curious, does your daughter seem to especially like rhymes? There could be some sort of pattern here.
 
argonne1918 said:
What time period was this?
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The Wikipedia link gives more information, but it's thought to have originally been written in the 1430s. It was published in The Complyant of Scotland around 1540, and mentioned in 1711 as well.


As for slang term "chase the face", I haven't been able to find out when it originated, but it seems to have been around in the 1800s.
 
Looking Backwards said:
As for slang term "chase the face", I haven't been able to find out when it originated, but it seems to have been around in the 1800s.
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That would make sense if she was the "skipper" on a sailing ship.
 
when I was a boy

twolittleloves said:
chase the face you don't like
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it a PRINCIPLE actually, that can lead smo through a whole LIFE. doesn't anybody notice that? "ignore the face you don't like, forgive the face you don't like" sounds much wiser, don't you think? for instance, due to my "past life" in the 11th century - which my subconscious acknowledges as most connected to my present problems, my principle was "forgive only when you make them unable to forgive you ". I was a man, naturally. It echoed in me at a casual remark, and I shuddered - yes, I remember living a life with that. whether it deals with british-scottish enmity it's not important. but the principle may need being corrected


;)


I wish I had parents whom I could say such things freely. I was 5 or 6 years old when I recalled what happened before I was born - I was a man, giving an account to God of my life in 18th century, or something in a WEIRD place, then I looked around and whistled in my mind and thought - ups, and NOW I am a five-year-old GIRL??OMG It took me about 20 years to get fully used to my sex, and it's nothing to do with homosexual - it's just that women are really oppressed here :confused: I remeber about 5 male lives in the recent 1000 years and only 1 female :)
 
Mooncity said:
...just that women are really oppressed here :confused: I remeber about 5 male lives in the recent 1000 years and only 1 female :)
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Do you think maybe reincarnation is slowly changing people's attitudes toward females??
 
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