Question about fear based reality..

[Eva1942]

There is something I have been learning for some time with my guides and I am curious as to how everyone else learns how to deal with it. That is how to deal with fear based reality.

I am sure most of us know that the physical is the illusion. That this illusion enables us to learn important lessons we have chosen in our lives and for our soul’s progress.

My guides have taught me that in order to overcome fear - whether that be facing traumatic or uncomfortable memories or just generally in my everyday life, you must give it unconditional love and that love cannot grow where there is fear. Just like fear cannot grow if you give it love.

This has been quite beneficial for me sometimes, but my question is, how does every one else cope and deal with fear when it comes to facing traumatic or unpleasant memories? Does it bother you? Do you face it head on knowing that the events that happened in the memories cannot hurt you any longer, or do you face your memories afraid of the events that happened knowing how much they hurt you in that lifetime will it hurt you again if you revisit them?

I hope I explained this right..

Eva x

 

[Jaimie]

There is something I have been learning for some time with my guides and I am curious as to how everyone else learns how to deal with it. That is how to deal with fear based reality.

I am sure most of us know that the physical is the illusion. That this illusion enables us to learn important lessons we have chosen in our lives and for our soul’s progress.

My guides have taught me that in order to overcome fear - whether that be facing traumatic or uncomfortable memories or just generally in my everyday life, you must give it unconditional love and that love cannot grow where there is fear. Just like fear cannot grow if you give it love.

This has been quite beneficial for me sometimes, but my question is, how does every one else cope and deal with fear when it comes to facing traumatic or unpleasant memories? Does it bother you? Do you face it head on knowing that the events that happened in the memories cannot hurt you any longer, or do you face your memories afraid of the events that happened knowing how much they hurt you in that lifetime will it hurt you again if you revisit them?

I hope I explained this right..

Eva x

Hi Eva ! Interesting point(s) !

I have memories of a past life when I was married to a man ( my longest lasting relationship in that life but it was also on and off and we were parents too ). I always wondered why I had so many memories of this man, it is like it is dominating by far memories from that life. I would have an entire meditation showing me nothing but being at home with him and our first born, with no clue to why, other than I could see that we struggled to make it ( we didn't, and later divorced which he always blamed me for ). I was afraid of him. He had a bad temper. I could feel my body tense. I could not tell if I was hungry or not and could hardly eat when we sat down to dinner. In conflicts I was occupied/focusing on trying to not make things worse by answering back in an angry voice. I am by nature an open person and for me to hold back like this was not easy. I would also stand up for myself and I could tell after having like 20 years of remembering this past life that he would slap me, one time each time, during fights, years in between the incidents, but I have no memory of me holding him trapped, or chasing him or me slapping him. After his outbursts he would get tired, like exhausted. Then he would be very nice again. Apologetic. Be this nice man that everyone saw him as. But Fear -- early on as I discovered his bad temper -- could have been the reason why my love did not grow. You and your spirit guide explained this in perfect words, I feel. Thank you very much He could not, I feel, understand that I could not love him more than I did. He could not understand that I was always tense, even when he was in a good mood and we had not fought in a long time. He did not get how his bad temper which brought on short solutions often in his beneficiary was still very much real and happening for me on the inside. I could tell in fights that he really wanted me to be frighten of him. That way he could control me. Then he thought he could fix it by buying me some expensive sh*t, and I did not dare to say anything else by then but thank you. By his book we had our share of problems but he still considered us close and I am sure if I had not given up on us that he would have stayed on, that we would have been married til either of us died. As an ex hubby he would often be on a total different place than I was, mentally, and I had memories of us in court as I was trying to get my divorce to come through. I could feel him sitting there, staring at me. I was still afraid of him, but I also felt quilt and a part of me still loved him, as pathetic as that sounds, because I had all those other good memories as well even though they felt half as good as it would have been from his point of view. Most of all I felt guilt as a mother .I could tell that I really wanted to get along with my ex hubby, but he wanted no rules between us. He would get pissed off with me if I sent a relative or a baby sitter to do the drop off of any child. He wanted to go in and out of my home when ever he felt like it and was angry with me when refusing to let him in. During the divorce I could tell he was worse than ever and there were time when I feared for my life. He would also drink which was not like him (because he had a great need to be in control otherwise) . Then as time passed I could see that we were OK. If I would do things his way, we would more or less pretend we were still a family and we would do all sorts of things as parents, and focusing on being in a good mood. I could tell I did not put him down as a father, and that I really just wanted us all to move upwards and forward. I knew in time that we would meet new partners, he in particular, which was what happened. When it happened I would congratulate him. When I met someone, though, he would first be OK with it and shake his hand. Then, even if he was in a serious commitment himself, he would start to find all kinds of faults on my new love and just become difficult with a nasty attitude. I think foremost that he felt that his role as a father was threaten. I think he was used to me being more diplomatic and him being more dominant and in order to keep the peace I would accept this even though I knew it was not ideal. I have lots of memories of him greeting me, after our divorce, as if I was an old friend. He would take his hands on my upper arms and kiss me quickly on the cheek. I think we just got to a point in life when we were friends, when we knew we still loved each other and was familiar with one another but not as husband and wife/ a romantic couple. We would still argue but we would stop and not go further with it. So that was this relationship.

I knew I had another relationship in that life, later on, ( some years ) after our divorce. I could tell by the few, very few, flashes of memories that I had that this was truly bad. This was 10 times worse than the previous relationship with my ex hubby. I can't get to those memories, I can only remember a fragrance of desperate unhappiness. I would go for the bottle. I would go for the pills. I would do anything really to try to not have pure panic. At the same time I felt very much pressured by the ex hubby who was convinced that I was with a dangerous man and he was making everything worse too because it fueled the current partner.

I think in that life I had for most part a ( messed up ?? ) radar for dominant men with bad tempers. Why I don't know. I know I don't have it in this life ( thank God ).

One time when I did meditation I did not remember I think what it was that was so bad, but I started, after the meditation, at one point feel a pain around my throat and the side of my cheek. I wrote about it on this forum because it worried me. Later on, at one point, I had flashes of memories of a past life around 1880 when my then husband slapped me and took his hand on my throat. I think this memory was simply too tough for me to deal with which was why I at the beginning had no idea what it was about but only felt the physical ghost-pain. ( it is kind of frustrating that I keep getting slapped when I don't do anything myself but using words. Just once I would like to be some warrior who gets even but then again I am a pacifist, but I swear when I got all those memories from the ex hubby already in my teenage years I felt like who is this weak woman ?! Hit him back !! Do something ! )

I do think that when things are too difficult for us to face that we can only "smell" it a little, but be careful to open the door. But other times it seems that it comes storming in without invitation and without us being protected by it, but at some level I think it starts off with the "smell", and at some level the decision is made that yes, I can deal with this, or no I can't.

Thanks again for posting on this topic ! I am sorry I got carried away with this long answer, but I hope it is OK ?

/Jaimie

 

[Klaud]

I just tell myself that the past is over and done and that I'll be fine.

I've had a lot of violent deaths and it took some doing for me to be able to look at them without traumatizing myself.

Being able to face your fears head on is important imo.

 

[Bellona324]

Pretty interesting question imo. For me, I’m not traumatised by any memory anymore. I have moved on. Yes, this includes my murder during the Joseon dynasty. I was not frightened at all, knowing that it happened in the past and that it cannot hurt me anymore. I cannot change what happened, I have no control over it. I have control only over my present and future. That’s my mindset and that attitude keeps me rational enough not to get too emotional over past life memories. While I do feel guilt over a few things, I feel that it’s normal because I do the same thing with my present life. However, being scared because of past life memories is alien to me.

As for Jaimie, I’m sorry that you had to go through that. As someone who was male in the most recent past life, I actually felt offended by the way your husbands treated you, reading this. I had a bad temper, probably worse than those two at certain times(I did commit multiple murders in that life but that’s another story for another day), but at least I could control my temper with my wife. I love her a lot and I never wanted to hurt her, even if we quarrelled. The worst I could do was to give her the cold shoulder. I was angry during those arguments but the love was still there. These two men could probably take a lesson from me. I was an alpha male too but at least I had enough decency to treat people with respect.

Just know that as traumatising these memories are, they can never hurt you again because they’re from your past. If they do somehow manage to hurt you, just defend yourself. You have the right to do so. Please take care of yourself.

 

[Eva1942]

I just tell myself that the past is over and done and that I'll be fine.

I've had a lot of violent deaths and it took some doing for me to be able to look at them without traumatizing myself.

Being able to face your fears head on is important imo.

Klaud, sometimes I wish it were that easy for me. Before this lifetime, I came from Third Reich Germany, where everything was controlled and/or restricted for me as a part-Jew. I returned to a ‘free’ country (New Zealand) to re-learn how it felt for what most Germans back then (the aryans) took for granted.

I keep reminding myself that this is not Third Reich Germany anymore, that I am respected and am safe. That is the reason why I tend to go to one place a lot because it’s almost like it’s become a ‘safe place’ I’ve found that I can visit and not be wary of things. Funny thing is, I used to be petrified of Police and saw them much like how I saw the Gestapo and SS in my later years in Germany (late 1942-1945). Kinda ironic considering the large police involvement I had back then. It’s not so much now, but there is still that fear.

Then I have the lesson of relearning self love, worth and respect. I was stripped of all my self worth and dignity and taunted with ‘You’re nothing but a filthy, worthless Jew’. In my adult life, I’ve never really been one for material belongings, as I still have this fear that it would be taken away from me like it did when I denounced and persecuted. I’ll buy myself something then instantly feel guilty because I think ‘what’s the point in buying it for myself if it will be taken away from me?’. I used to even feel so guilty I returned things because I felt as if I did not deserve such luxuries. But then I’d get thrown back to reality by my guides who remind me that I’m not in Hitler’s Germany anymore and I CAN do these things. It’s tough but I’m getting there.

I remember in Poland where everyone was fleeing the Russians, I just wanted them to liberate me. I didn’t care that they were Russian, that they had been our enimies, I just wanted liberation from my hell — that our own people the Germans had forced upon me all because I was a part-Jew. When they (the Russian/Ukrainian soldiers) came into the infirmrary (camp hospital) we stared at them and they stared at us. We were supposed BE dead, but we were left FOR dead. We welcomed them like true liberators - well the ones of us that could walk.

I think that while everyone has their own traumatic deaths, or events that happened in their past lifetimes, nothing I feel (this is my own humble opinion) will ever beat how it felt to be a Holocaust Victim or Survivor. To have your own friends denounce you because you were Jewish is perhaps the reason why I find it hard to make friends in this lifetime. But hey, love the fear right?

Eva x

 

[Eva1942]

I found myself caught up in a senseless circle of fear until I saw him for what he really was. The only way out is compassion for my enemy.

I’ve forgiven people from my WWII lifetime that I felt I could never forgive them for what they did to me. That rage and anger I had, I had to put aside and REALLY get to the bottom to of WHO they were as people. I realised that some I was angry with, were not really ideological for Hitler but did their actions out of fear. The others were idealogical for Hitler and I tell you what, it’s so freakin’ hard to forgive people and never receive a apology in return.

He was (and still is) a completely broken person dominated by fear and extremely limited on the mental level.

I hope he finds the healing and help he deserves. While what he did to you might have been unspeakable, I have learned that it is better to send love and healing, rather than hold bitterness and have to forgive them later on in the line.

Eva x

 

[Jaimie]

Pretty interesting question imo. For me, I’m not traumatised by any memory anymore. I have moved on. Yes, this includes my murder during the Joseon dynasty. I was not frightened at all, knowing that it happened in the past and that it cannot hurt me anymore. I cannot change what happened, I have no control over it. I have control only over my present and future. That’s my mindset and that attitude keeps me rational enough not to get too emotional over past life memories. While I do feel guilt over a few things, I feel that it’s normal because I do the same thing with my present life. However, being scared because of past life memories is alien to me.

As for Jaimie, I’m sorry that you had to go through that. As someone who was male in the most recent past life, I actually felt offended by the way your husbands treated you, reading this. I had a bad temper, probably worse than those two at certain times(I did commit multiple murders in that life but that’s another story for another day), but at least I could control my temper with my wife. I love her a lot and I never wanted to hurt her, even if we quarrelled. The worst I could do was to give her the cold shoulder. I was angry during those arguments but the love was still there. These two men could probably take a lesson from me. I was an alpha male too but at least I had enough decency to treat people with respect.

Just know that as traumatising these memories are, they can never hurt you again because they’re from your past. If they do somehow manage to hurt you, just defend yourself. You have the right to do so. Please take care of yourself.

Thank you very much, BellonaStrandt, your words warm my heart. for years I tried to tell myself I had only imagined being slapped by the ex hubby. I had a friend ( in this current life ) that was my friend back then too and she had detailed memories of him although she knew nothing about him. I remember how I felt my past life shame when telling her "you know, he hit her. He hit her when their baby was so young" ( I could see the baby asleep in the bed ). She went "no, no, no ! It can't be ! He loved you very much. Yes, he was strict with you ( she had remembered us going out in a group when I seemed afraid, depressed and he seemed strict ), but no, i can't imagine him hitting her". So I shut up about it, and hoped she was right. In my memory at one point another friend had gotten upset after she more or less forced herself into my home after realizing something was wrong. I remember having told her I was sick, which I wasn't. When she saw what half my face looked like she erupted. She wanted me out of there. I remember that this friend was someone very funny, even when she was mad she was funny ( in another past life I think she was my past life wife and I completely adored her, but that is another story ). I remember her saying that yes, I could leave the home, I was not Dracula, a vampire, but I feared anyone would see what I looked like, and I did not dare. I stayed out of fear. This person worked in the entertainment business back in those days. I had to go and read her memoir and she did not mention this but described pl-me and the ex hubby in kind words. Then, close to her own death, she released her last memoir and in it she described the very memory I have had all these years that I told myself was imagination. That was really something reading about it, after all these years she had never forgotten about it, she was a true, wonderful friend, who tried to help me with no thoughts on herself. She was a better friend than I was because I would isolate myself because I did not want him to be treating the others I cared for badly ( he would get envious ).
Thank you once more for your kind words. it was really interesting to read how you saw it from your own perspective in regard to your own past life memories as a tough male, I'm sure your wife must have felt very loved by you. To me back in the day it was as if this was "normal", that there was nothing a wife could do about it, she could not go to the police with it. Even today I have to walk away, change channel if there is a movie from those days on, even in comedies back then, they were sort of abusing, putting women down in the films, I feel, throwing them on their back despite their objections, spanking them and close to forcing themselves on them after chasing them -- and this was a comedy, back then. I just could not watch it for long.
/Jaimie

 

[Klaud]

Klaud, sometimes I wish it were that easy for me. Before this lifetime, I came from Third Reich Germany, where everything was controlled and/or restricted for me as a part-Jew. I returned to a ‘free’ country (New Zealand) to re-learn how it felt for what most Germans back then (the aryans) took for granted.

I keep reminding myself that this is not Third Reich Germany anymore, that I am respected and am safe. That is the reason why I tend to go to one place a lot because it’s almost like it’s become a ‘safe place’ I’ve found that I can visit and not be wary of things. Funny thing is, I used to be petrified of Police and saw them much like how I saw the Gestapo and SS in my later years in Germany (late 1942-1945). Kinda ironic considering the large police involvement I had back then. It’s not so much now, but there is still that fear.

Then I have the lesson of relearning self love, worth and respect. I was stripped of all my self worth and dignity and taunted with ‘You’re nothing but a filthy, worthless Jew’. In my adult life, I’ve never really been one for material belongings, as I still have this fear that it would be taken away from me like it did when I denounced and persecuted. I’ll buy myself something then instantly feel guilty because I think ‘what’s the point in buying it for myself if it will be taken away from me?’. I used to even feel so guilty I returned things because I felt as if I did not deserve such luxuries. But then I’d get thrown back to reality by my guides who remind me that I’m not in Hitler’s Germany anymore and I CAN do these things. It’s tough but I’m getting there.

I remember in Poland where everyone was fleeing the Russians, I just wanted them to liberate me. I didn’t care that they were Russian, that they had been our enimies, I just wanted liberation from my hell — that our own people the Germans had forced upon me all because I was a part-Jew. When they (the Russian/Ukrainian soldiers) came into the infirmrary (camp hospital) we stared at them and they stared at us. We were supposed BE dead, but we were left FOR dead. We welcomed them like true liberators - well the ones of us that could walk.

I think that while everyone has their own traumatic deaths, or events that happened in their past lifetimes, nothing I feel (this is my own humble opinion) will ever beat how it felt to be a Holocaust Victim or Survivor. To have your own friends denounce you because you were Jewish is perhaps the reason why I find it hard to make friends in this lifetime. But hey, love the fear right?

Eva x

It wasn't always easy for me. I did a lot of research before I prodded into my past lives too much and I still messed it up.

When I saw my Native American life and how badly it ended, I spent a few days wracked with an unshakable guilt for not being able to protect someone special. It wasn't just my own death that affected me. For me, that was lesson 1 on what not to do when trying to connect with your inner self; don't just dive in head first.

It's a hard road to learn to love yourself again and have that self worth. We'll get there!

If it's any consolation, I'm kind of in the same boat. I've spent so many lives dirt poor that I have a hard time accepting gifts and buying junk for myself that I don't absolutely need. Feels like an unnecessary luxury that I haven't really earned.

I can't even imagine being a Holocaust victim, honestly.

 

[Eva1942]

When I saw my Native American life and how badly it ended, I spent a few days wracked with an unshakable guilt for not being able to protect someone special. It wasn't just my own death that affected me.

It was like that in my WWII lifetime. I spent days and even months wracked with guilt that I wasn’t able to protect the love of my life better after his death. I wasn’t just grieving for him, 2 weeks before his death I had miscarried my baby too.

I learned that with grief came fear too. Fear of the unknown. When I saw these memories, the fear was immense. I fed the fear love because I was reminded that while I “felt” alone, I was never truly alone.

It's a hard road to learn to love yourself again and have that self worth. We'll get there!

If it's any consolation, I'm kind of in the same boat. I've spent so many lives dirt poor that I have a hard time accepting gifts and buying junk for myself that I don't absolutely need. Feels like an unnecessary luxury that I haven't really earned.

I can't even imagine being a Holocaust victim, honestly.

It is a hard road to learn to love yourself again. Every time you do something for yourself, you feel selfish for loving yourself. I’m getting there.. and I am sure you will get there too!

In my WWII lifetime, I was an part-Jewish upstanding semi wealthy daughter to a (Aryan) German/Prussian Admiral. So we were not poor. But this lifetime I am in now, I am just above the poverty line. It’s a lesson I need to learn from being semi wealthy and being able to buy anything I want or need, to this lifetime being careful with money. Like you, if I buy myself some junk (or at times something I really do need) I think that I have not earned the reward.

I’m actually proud to be a reincarnated Holocaust victim. Even though I witnessed the liberation of the camp I was in, I did not live long enough past that to be classed as a survivor. My quarter Jewish daughter who was in hiding with my Papa was classed as a second generation Holocaust survivor, while I was classed as a victim.

Considering in my second Ancient Egyptian lifetime where I was Pharaoh of the Exodus, I had to learn what my own actions from that lifetime felt like. To be persecuted. I went from being the persecutor TO the persecuted.

Eva x

 

[Dana]

I keep reminding myself that this is not Third Reich Germany anymore.

I think that while everyone has their own traumatic deaths, or events that happened in their past lifetimes, nothing I feel (this is my own humble opinion) will ever beat how it felt to be a Holocaust Victim or Survivor. To have your own friends denounce you because you were Jewish is perhaps the reason why I find it hard to make friends in this lifetime. But hey, love the fear right?

Eva x

Until now, I still feel bad being a soldier for Hitler's Germany. It's a big emotional baggage for me to deal with until now. The mere fact that I had taken an oath of absolute loyalty to Hitler was something that I feel to be the most terrible words I had to say in my former life.

Not having very vivid memories, but just a very few fleeting ones, I know that I am being spared from trauma. Being spared from the burden and guilt of my sinister past life, I could only thank God for that.

 

[Bellona324]

Thank you very much, BellonaStrandt, your words warm my heart. for years I tried to tell myself I had only imagined being slapped by the ex hubby. I had a friend ( in this current life ) that was my friend back then too and she had detailed memories of him although she knew nothing about him. I remember how I felt my past life shame when telling her "you know, he hit her. He hit her when their baby was so young" ( I could see the baby asleep in the bed ). She went "no, no, no ! It can't be ! He loved you very much. Yes, he was strict with you ( she had remembered us going out in a group when I seemed afraid, depressed and he seemed strict ), but no, i can't imagine him hitting her". So I shut up about it, and hoped she was right. In my memory at one point another friend had gotten upset after she more or less forced herself into my home after realizing something was wrong. I remember having told her I was sick, which I wasn't. When she saw what half my face looked like she erupted. She wanted me out of there. I remember that this friend was someone very funny, even when she was mad she was funny ( in another past life I think she was my past life wife and I completely adored her, but that is another story ). I remember her saying that yes, I could leave the home, I was not Dracula, a vampire, but I feared anyone would see what I looked like, and I did not dare. I stayed out of fear. This person worked in the entertainment business back in those days. I had to go and read her memoir and she did not mention this but described pl-me and the ex hubby in kind words. Then, close to her own death, she released her last memoir and in it she described the very memory I have had all these years that I told myself was imagination. That was really something reading about it, after all these years she had never forgotten about it, she was a true, wonderful friend, who tried to help me with no thoughts on herself. She was a better friend than I was because I would isolate myself because I did not want him to be treating the others I cared for badly ( he would get envious ).
Thank you once more for your kind words. it was really interesting to read how you saw it from your own perspective in regard to your own past life memories as a tough male, I'm sure your wife must have felt very loved by you. To me back in the day it was as if this was "normal", that there was nothing a wife could do about it, she could not go to the police with it. Even today I have to walk away, change channel if there is a movie from those days on, even in comedies back then, they were sort of abusing, putting women down in the films, I feel, throwing them on their back despite their objections, spanking them and close to forcing themselves on them after chasing them -- and this was a comedy, back then. I just could not watch it for long.
/Jaimie

Whoever that friend was, you’re lucky that at least you had someone as nice as her. Wait no, nice is an understatement, she’s more than that.

Even if some people gave Mel, my wife, some hate, she could’ve felt the love from me. I was a little possessive sometimes and have gotten violent with other men for flirting with her(I would usually win because I was trained in martial arts) but at the same time, I was loyal. You can probably say I’m a yandere(https://www.dictionary.com/e/fictional-characters/yandere/). I have felt the urge to murder some people for touching Mel. That’s my dark side, though the thought of domestic abuse towards Mel never crossed my mind.

In Nazi Germany, women were expected to be housewives and mothers but I made sure that Mel had enough freedom. I let her work if she wanted to. Actually, I encouraged her to not listen to our countrymen about that particular ‘rule’. It would be a waste if she remained home because she was smarter than me, I admit. I tried my best to give her as much independence as possible, more liberty than your average Aryan woman. I was an Aryan man but I disliked certain parts of the Nazi ideology.

Just like you, I also hate watching women get abused, even if it’s a joke. As much as I love dark humour, I still have my limits. Maybe the fact that I’m female now has something to do with this. I’m glad that our modern society is slowly but surely getting more and more progressive.

It’s a lesson I need to learn from being semi wealthy and being able to buy anything I want or need, to this lifetime being careful with money. Like you, if I buy myself some junk (or at times something I really do need) I think that I have not earned the reward

I know the feels, kind of, and I’m unhappy with that. I mean, I should be thankful that I’m at least middle-class but even so, I’m still dissatisfied with my life.

Until now, I still feel bad being a soldier for Hitler's Germany. It's a big emotional baggage for me to deal with until now. The mere fact that I had taken an oath of absolute loyalty to Hitler was something that I feel to be the most terrible words I had to say in my former life

I went through the same thing. I was initially ok with it at first because I vehemently despised the communists with a burning passion and really wanted them dead but after Hitler dragged us to a war, my support for him gradually decreased because he was sending old people and children to their deaths by fighting in the war. That did not sit well with me. He effectively destroyed our country and so I decided to flee, with the help of the British.