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Some emotional support needed

ColourODarkness

ColourODarkness

Senior Registered
I know this isn't exactly the place for this, but I consider you all my 'online' friends (I don't really have any in 'real life') and I'm in desperate need of some emotional support

Today, just before he left my house, my partner of almost 5 years, who I consider my soul mate, told me that we were 'taking a break' and that he had to 'find himself'. He said that he loved me, but wasn't 'in love' with me, and that he still wants to be my best friend, and "who knows, after this we might get back together, but I can't promise anything". He was my best (and practically only) friend, and the love of my life.

Naturally I am absolutely devastated... And I don't have anyone to turn to. I thought I'd seek a little support here from you all x
 
Hey Colour...


As someone who is probably older than you, I can tell you that these sorts of things are blessings in disguise. I know it hurts, I've so been there, but if he needs a break to find himself, then it's actually good for your relationship that he gets this time. There's something going on on his end, and if you two get back together, you'll be stronger than ever. If not, you'll remember him well and know that it just didn't work out. Sometimes, it just doesn't.


I have had 2 great heartbreaks in my life...in one I was the person who got broken up with (this was when I was in college) and the second was about 6 years down the road and I had to let my longterm boyfriend go because I could see it probably just wasn't going to work out, though I loved him and it hurt my heart to do it. Though both situations were crushing and my life out of sorts for months, in retrospect it was the best thing that they ended.


Do yourself a favor by getting some extra rest, taking in a movie in your jammies, treat yourself to something that makes you feel good, maybe go for a run, reach out to others (like you did here), and just take it easy for awhile. Be good to yourself. It'll get better, I promise.
 
Hi ColourODarkness...


Oh my...my heart is breaking for you...also as an old grandma here...I have been there and the pain is something that I can still feel after all these years...I'm sorry....but...


...there is no way to hold someone who wants to go...!


Cry alot...clean your soul...and walk your way.


I'll be thinking of you...and of me...and of all my old loves, who when they left me...lead me to the love of my life! ;)


Hugs!
 
Looks like you have plenty of company here, i've also been there, done that, got the tee-shirt! It does hurt, I can feel your pain, and like the others have said, the hurt never really goes away, but in time, you learn how to put that pain in it's place and be happy again. I was with my partner for 16 years, there was never anyone else for me, but I survived, and i'm still here, 13 years after our seperation, happy to be single .... and still good friends with my ex partner! :)


I know it feels even harder when you don't have any friends or anyone else to turn to, but ... make sure you continue to respect yourself, I wouldn't leave that door too wide open if it was me ;)
 
Oh my Aelfgyva -your response brought tears to my eyes. Beautifully said.
 
Hi Colour,


We're here...and this IS the place to come to!


I know you feel devastated right now, probably can't concentrate on anything....and it might be of little comfort now, but....it will get better. As Aelfgyva said....there is no way to hold someone who wants to go....


Who knows what way things will go? But there are positive times ahead, just be sure to look for the opportunities. For now, try to find happiness in the small things, take a walk in Nature, listen to the birds, watch the animals...it might help.


And one day soon, you will wake up, and think about YOU instead of about him, and how YOU can fill your life with joy!


And until then, always remember, there are a lot of friendly hearts here open for you!


hug3.gif


Eevee
 
As another person who's been there, done that, my best advice to you, for the right now, would be make a clean break. No, talk or contact of any kind for at least 6 months. You need time to heal your heart and any contact will just keep breaking it. Follow Aelfgyva's advice. (((hug)))
 
Thank you so much for all your support hug2.gif I'm glad I can come here whenever I'm in need of some comfort. I'll do my best to take what I can from your advice~ I think for now I'm going to sleep on the situation H001
 
Oh, hon, that's painful {{{hug}}}


Please realize that his problems are just that ... his. Don't blame yourself (I know that's all too easy to do.)


This is a chance to "find yourself," also, and believe me it's worth it. You are a treasure that deserves to be valued by yourself and the people closest to you.


For now, just do the things you enjoy ... and let yourself cry in between. Aelfgyva said it very well.
 
Hi, Colour!


Good advices have been given to you already. I'm in a similar situation myself, almost two months separated from my partner, and back at my parents', no job, no car (died last week), but you know what? I'm starting to see it all in a different way and a new hope is arising.


If you have to be with someone, make sure the two of you are 100% in the relationship, otherwise it's not worth the effort, and I totally agree with Inhaltslos, if you come back together, you'll be stronger as ever. If that's not going to happen, well, you can always treasure the good memories and leave the rest.


I always say changes are for the better, even when it's hard to see at the beginning.
 
I agree with all of the above! And I'm glad that you think (and we are!) we're here for you!
 
Colour, Hi There! Now do Wish You the Best! {{{hug}}}


Do agree with all of the above also! Now Aelfgyva said it very well. You will see that life indeed goes on and there is soooo much to life.


Love to you!
 
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