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Spirit/Ghost vs. Reincarnation

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ShellyIndiana

Active Member
I'm new here, and although I looked through past threads to see if this topic was posted in the past, I didn't see it. Forgive me if I am posting something that has been answered or discussed previously. I'm wondering about if someone is reincarnated soon after their passing, how could they be a spirit of their former selves. I hope my explanation of my question below makes sense.

For example, my mother was, and I am, an intuitive or a sensitive. She told me, before she died from cancer a few days after her 64th birthday, that if she could communicate with us from the other side, she would. On the night she died, I felt that she was hovering at the ceiling in the corner of my bedroom, but after that, I can't say that I ever REALLY felt her presence. I have been disappointed and surprised by this, as I expected to see her spirit, to hear her voice, see things move, etc. I have had those types of interactions with other spirits. I do see things sometimes that I think might be a sign from her, but it could just be a complete coincidence or wishful thinking and mean nothing. Sometimes, I specifically ask her for a sign. At Christmas, I will stare at a single ornament and say, "Mom, if you are here, can you move this ornament just a little?" Nothing. Ever. :(

As background, my mother was a wonderful person who had a hard life. My parents divorced when my sister and I were young because my father was an alcoholic (but sober now for over 30 years). My mom had never worked outside of the home except in her family's dairy stores doing bookkeeping before she got married. After the divorce, she completed vocational training in bookkeeping and worked for the local vocational school. She barely earned enough to live, and our dad never paid child support, so we really struggled for food, gas, electricity, and the necessities of life. Mom lived her life mostly dreaming of a future where she'd have enough money to feel safe. She made lots of "when I have money, I will buy and do..." lists. We found many of those dream wish lists in her home after she passed. Yet, she didn't get to the point of feeling "safe" about money until she was ready to retire. She found out she had cancer a few months after she retired and never really got to relax in her whole life. I felt as if her life were not only cut short, but also was never fully realized. Although she was a giving, loving, caring person, she also held grudges and had a lot of anger for the way her life turned out. Sometimes I would say she was "mad at the world" for all her bad luck (karma?).
If she had been quickly reincarnated, I doubt her spirit would be able to communicate with us. Once someone passes, I know they go through a life review and some sort of training before being sent back for a new life, but I don't know how long that is, and it depends on the person/soul. Since some spirits have been in the same places for hundreds of years, I'm guessing something has them stuck here and they have not been reincarnated. Maybe they are delaying Hell (or their life review) or don't want a new life.

Is there anything to say you can be a spirit/soul AND be reincarnated at the same time, or are those separate and cannot coincide? I can't see how they COULD coincide. When I watch TV shows about spirits who are heard on EVPs, are seen by their families, or who can manipulate objects to prove their presence, I wonder why my mother hasn't been able to do that. Are spirits able to visit us while they are still in their life review and training phase?

My husband's mother, now also deceased, was Portuguese and used a Ouija board nearly every day. She believed in hexes and curses, and sometimes seemed almost like a witch to me. I very much dislike the idea of using a Ouija board, as I feel it can bring unwelcomed spirits/entities into your space. She said she knew how to "control" that. The morning after my mother passed, my husband's mother said my mother didn't go to Heaven; she was in a cold, dark place because she wasn't as good as I thought she was. What a horrible thing to say! I don't believe it, and my husband's mother didn't like me all that much, so I think she meant to hurt me. (She also told me that her Ouija board said I would die young and my husband would live a long, happy life.) However, I do wonder why I don't hear from my mom. Maybe she IS in a place where she isn't allowed to communicate because of her grudges (I hold them, too - the apple didn't fall far from the tree).

Anyway, if my story makes sense, I'd love to hear what others think.
 
ShellyIndiana said:
I'm new here, and although I looked through past threads to see if this topic was posted in the past, I didn't see it. Forgive me if I am posting something that has been answered or discussed previously. I'm wondering about if someone is reincarnated soon after their passing, how could they be a spirit of their former selves. I hope my explanation of my question below makes sense.

For example, my mother was, and I am, an intuitive or a sensitive. She told me, before she died from cancer a few days after her 64th birthday, that if she could communicate with us from the other side, she would. On the night she died, I felt that she was hovering at the ceiling in the corner of my bedroom, but after that, I can't say that I ever REALLY felt her presence. I have been disappointed and surprised by this, as I expected to see her spirit, to hear her voice, see things move, etc. I have had those types of interactions with other spirits. I do see things sometimes that I think might be a sign from her, but it could just be a complete coincidence or wishful thinking and mean nothing. Sometimes, I specifically ask her for a sign. At Christmas, I will stare at a single ornament and say, "Mom, if you are here, can you move this ornament just a little?" Nothing. Ever. :(

As background, my mother was a wonderful person who had a hard life. My parents divorced when my sister and I were young because my father was an alcoholic (but sober now for over 30 years). My mom had never worked outside of the home except in her family's dairy stores doing bookkeeping before she got married. After the divorce, she completed vocational training in bookkeeping and worked for the local vocational school. She barely earned enough to live, and our dad never paid child support, so we really struggled for food, gas, electricity, and the necessities of life. Mom lived her life mostly dreaming of a future where she'd have enough money to feel safe. She made lots of "when I have money, I will buy and do..." lists. We found many of those dream wish lists in her home after she passed. Yet, she didn't get to the point of feeling "safe" about money until she was ready to retire. She found out she had cancer a few months after she retired and never really got to relax in her whole life. I felt as if her life were not only cut short, but also was never fully realized. Although she was a giving, loving, caring person, she also held grudges and had a lot of anger for the way her life turned out. Sometimes I would say she was "mad at the world" for all her bad luck (karma?).
If she had been quickly reincarnated, I doubt her spirit would be able to communicate with us. Once someone passes, I know they go through a life review and some sort of training before being sent back for a new life, but I don't know how long that is, and it depends on the person/soul. Since some spirits have been in the same places for hundreds of years, I'm guessing something has them stuck here and they have not been reincarnated. Maybe they are delaying Hell (or their life review) or don't want a new life.

Is there anything to say you can be a spirit/soul AND be reincarnated at the same time, or are those separate and cannot coincide? I can't see how they COULD coincide. When I watch TV shows about spirits who are heard on EVPs, are seen by their families, or who can manipulate objects to prove their presence, I wonder why my mother hasn't been able to do that. Are spirits able to visit us while they are still in their life review and training phase?

My husband's mother, now also deceased, was Portuguese and used a Ouija board nearly every day. She believed in hexes and curses, and sometimes seemed almost like a witch to me. I very much dislike the idea of using a Ouija board, as I feel it can bring unwelcomed spirits/entities into your space. She said she knew how to "control" that. The morning after my mother passed, my husband's mother said my mother didn't go to Heaven; she was in a cold, dark place because she wasn't as good as I thought she was. What a horrible thing to say! I don't believe it, and my husband's mother didn't like me all that much, so I think she meant to hurt me. (She also told me that her Ouija board said I would die young and my husband would live a long, happy life.) However, I do wonder why I don't hear from my mom. Maybe she IS in a place where she isn't allowed to communicate because of her grudges (I hold them, too - the apple didn't fall far from the tree).

Anyway, if my story makes sense, I'd love to hear what others think.
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Hi ShellyIndiana!

Thank you so much for sharing your emotional story about your mom and your questions of the afterlife.

I am in no way any expert, but I too have lost loved ones to the other side.

I have also experienced what it was like to be a "ghost" from one of my own possible past life.

I have read of other's experiences of the different realms on the other side too.

I am sorry that your mother-in-law has said these things to you, the only reason to give fear and other negative emotions to someone else, I simply don't understand how a grown up woman can chose to do such a thing to anyone else, especially to the woman her son loves. Your husband can't be happy about this. You do not deserve having such things being said to you. I think real mediums and sensitives would never say such things.

Like you I want to know where my loved ones has gone after death and so I started to read a lot to try to figure it out.

I think there is a rule that one is not to frighten a loved one still alive on earth so as a "ghost", spirit, one has to be careful not to do that (if one now knows how to even move things, for example).

The experience I have had of being a ghost was that I followed a loved one around that I was worried about, but I was like air and I could move through walls, buildings etc. Now writing about it - it sounds strange, but at the time it was all natural. I would "hear" (silent communication) other spirit and spirits that I knew, somehow, calling for me, trying to communicate to me, and so in a way I suppose I was not lost forever because I think they did find me in time and that I chose to respond. They knew I was dead and that I was in the "wrong" place.

Some of my loved ones in this life that has crossed over has turned up in my dreams, at two different times two of my loved ones has messages to give to me that I was later blown away that they had happened or would happen. These dreams did not happen during my intense period of grief, but after. Both these loved ones never wanted to frighten me in life and so they would not try to do so in the afterlife, and if someone invisible would start to move things around to prove they were around I would scream and run away, not knowing what or who it was. (and I don't think it is allowed...). Perhaps your mom will turn up in a dream, a safe way to communicate. She could already have done so, only you have been in such deep sleep you don't remember.

It sounds to me that your mother was a very good mother and it can very well be that she is in a beautiful place right now where she can look at you as if you were in a dream since her reality has now changed and this life on earth is more alike a dream state than the reality. I think that in the beginning of loosing someone one loves so much that it is very intense and that the risk is that one refuse to let go of the loved one and that the loved one too - as the spirit - has difficulty then to let go. I think one is meant to heal after a life and be taken from earth for a while to re-cope. That she will make her signs to you in time. You could pray for others to look for your mother and to make sure that she is safe, where ever her spirit is, if you now fear that your ( cruel ... ) mother-in-law is right. You could also go to a professional medium that you trust to tell you where your mother is. You are in enough grief as it is without being told she is in a dark, cold place. When I was a ghost I was not cold, I was not warm. I was simply like air, and consciousness. I was perfectly fine from a physical point of view, even if I was without a body ;)

From what I have read and learned is that our soul is not merely our spirit, that is this current life we live now. I think Brian Weiss described it as a mother ship with little boats behind it, where the mother ship was the soul, and the little boats were the spirit/spirits. I have watched programs where they talk to let's say Dean Martin's soul or Marilyn Monroe's, yet in the interview with alleged Dean Martin's soul he/it claimed that he was reborn as a boy, yet there he was - talking. Our soul is more complex than what we think.

I am sorry for your loss of your mother, I hope things will get/feel better for you and that you two will connect in some way that will bring you two peace in this matter. Even if she does not give you any sign ( that you can tell ) still does not mean she is not around somehow watching over you.

/Jaimie
 
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Jaimie said:
Hi ShellyIndiana!

Thank you so much for sharing your emotional story about your mom and your questions of the afterlife.

I am in no way any expert, but I too have lost loved ones to the other side.

I have also experienced what it was like to be a "ghost" from one of my own possible past life.

I have read of other's experiences of the different realms on the other side too.

I am sorry that your mother-in-law has said these things to you, the only reason to give fear and other negative emotions to someone else, I simply don't understand how a grown up woman can chose to do such a thing to anyone else, especially to the woman her son loves. Your husband can't be happy about this. You do not deserve having such things being said to you. I think real mediums and sensitives would never say such things.

Like you I want to know where my loved ones has gone after death and so I started to read a lot to try to figure it out.

I think there is a rule that one is not to frighten a loved one still alive on earth so as a "ghost", spirit, one has to be careful not to do that (if one now knows how to even move things, for example).

The experience I have had of being a ghost was that I followed a loved one around that I was worried about, but I was like air and I could move through walls, buildings etc. Now writing about it - it sounds strange, but at the time it was all natural. I would "hear" (silent communication) other spirit and spirits that I knew, somehow, calling for me, trying to communicate to me, and so in a way I suppose I was not lost forever because I think they did find me in time and that I chose to respond. They knew I was dead and that I was in the "wrong" place.

Some of my loved ones in this life that has crossed over has turned up in my dreams, at two different times two of my loved ones has messages to give to me that I was later blown away that they had happened or would happen. These dreams did not happen during my intense period of grief, but after. Both these loved ones never wanted to frighten me in life and so they would not try to do so in the afterlife, and if someone invisible would start to move things around to prove they were around I would scream and run away, not knowing what or who it was. (and I don't think it is allowed...). Perhaps your mom will turn up in a dream, a safe way to communicate. She could already have done so, only you have been in such deep sleep you don't remember.

It sounds to me that your mother was a very good mother and it can very well be that she is in a beautiful place right now where she can look at you as if you were in a dream since her reality has now changed and this life on earth is more alike a dream state than the reality. I think that in the beginning of loosing someone one loves so much that it is very intense and that the risk is that one refuse to let go of the loved one and that the loved one too - as the spirit - has difficulty then to let go. I think one is meant to heal after a life and be taken from earth for a while to re-cope. That she will make her signs to you in time. You could pray for others to look for your mother and to make sure that she is safe, where ever her spirit is, if you now fear that your ( cruel ... ) mother-in-law is right. You could also go to a professional medium that you trust to tell you where your mother is. You are in enough grief as it is without being told she is in a dark, cold place. When I was a ghost I was not cold, I was not warm. I was simply like air, and consciousness. I was perfectly fine from a physical point of view, even if I was without a body ;)

From what I have read and learned is that our soul is not merely our spirit, that is this current life we live now. I think Brian Weiss described it as a mother ship with little boats behind it, where the mother ship was the soul, and the little boats were the spirit/spirits. I have watched programs where they talk to let's say Dean Martin's soul or Marilyn Monroe's, yet in the interview with alleged Dean Martin's soul he/it claimed that he was reborn as a boy, yet there he was - talking. Our soul is more complex than what we think.

I am sorry for your loss of your mother, I hope things will get/feel better for you and that you two will connect in some way that will bring you two peace in this matter. Even if she does not give you any sign ( that you can tell ) still does not mean she is not around somehow watching over you.

/Jaimie
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Jaimie, thank you for your lengthy response. It's obvious you took a lot of time to reply! My mom has been gone for over 10 years, which is why I am surprised she has never made herself known in any obvious way. She HAS come to me in dreams, but they don't make any sense that she's actually telling me something. Usually, in my dreams of her, it's more like it's my own wishful thinking, rather than actually HER giving me a message. The dreams are always different places or times, but the underlying theme is that my mother didn't die - she was hiding and getting treatment or she was just away and now she was back and still alive. I can see two aspects here. One - this is my mind's way of telling myself she isn't really "gone," and that my wish is this scenario would be true - that she is still alive and well. Two - it is my mom's way of saying she is still existing and not "gone," even if I can't experience her being. It could be both. I did wake up one night thinking I heard her say my name in my ear. But again, was it real? I don't know. I honestly think that if she were really watching over me, I would "feel" her somehow. But, I don't, and I'm a sensitive. I can walk into a house and feel spirits, but I can't feel my mother's spirit. This makes me wonder where she is and why she isn't trying to communicate. And that is why I asked about whether she could have already been reincarnated. If she was, that would explain why she wasn't with me -- she's already living a new life.
 
ShellyIndiana said:
Jaimie, thank you for your lengthy response. It's obvious you took a lot of time to reply! My mom has been gone for over 10 years, which is why I am surprised she has never made herself known in any obvious way. She HAS come to me in dreams, but they don't make any sense that she's actually telling me something. Usually, in my dreams of her, it's more like it's my own wishful thinking, rather than actually HER giving me a message. The dreams are always different places or times, but the underlying theme is that my mother didn't die - she was hiding and getting treatment or she was just away and now she was back and still alive. I can see two aspects here. One - this is my mind's way of telling myself she isn't really "gone," and that my wish is this scenario would be true - that she is still alive and well. Two - it is my mom's way of saying she is still existing and not "gone," even if I can't experience her being. It could be both. I did wake up one night thinking I heard her say my name in my ear. But again, was it real? I don't know. I honestly think that if she were really watching over me, I would "feel" her somehow. But, I don't, and I'm a sensitive. I can walk into a house and feel spirits, but I can't feel my mother's spirit. This makes me wonder where she is and why she isn't trying to communicate. And that is why I asked about whether she could have already been reincarnated. If she was, that would explain why she wasn't with me -- she's already living a new life.
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Hi, I could not help myself, I felt sorry for you, been there myself. I can understand your frustration.

The real her could still be right in your dreams, but in a blended way. In my dreams they are never dead either, and I have also had dreams when it is suddenly discovered that my loved one is alive, somehow, been some misunderstanding, I think this is normal dreams to have and it does not have to mean that the real her is there 100% of the time in the dream, but she could be there for let's say 25% of the time.

I have had another past life where I was a ghost too trying to get into my ex husband's mind, dream as he was sleeping to try to alert to him that our child was in trouble. I don't know if I ever succeeded breaking through, so it may not be so easy for the spirit either. ( I later found proof that what worried me about this child had been true, no way for me to know this, and also, embarrassing perhaps - is the new woman's looks in bed sleeping next to my ex husband - was also how she looked in real life, as it turned out ).

Have you ever felt a light touch on let's say your head, your hand, your arm ? This has happened to me and at first I have thought it was my imagination, but then as it has happened a lot over the years and there is nothing there to cause this I have come to think that this is a spirit, most likely a loved one's.

I have felt another presence too one time when entering a home, but as it then believed by others was that this spirit had not moved on to the next level, lots of frustration and ownership to the place. Your mother may not have these feelings at all and have not been stuck like that either. You may not be able to feel her because of your own baggage of emotions.

If I start to count there has not been 10 years even between my reincarnations, but less, so yes it does make sense that your mother's spirit has been reincarnated by now which is why you can not sense her the same way.

Even though you are a sensitive yourself there could still be a reason why you have not felt her or felt that you have enough proof that she has tried to contact you, if you know any one who is a professional or trustworthy in this area I would try to seek this person out to try to get an answer.

You could also try meditation. A loved one that has passed over suddenly appeared, which I was not ready for, and I can't say if it was real or not, but it felt very real, but almost right away - because of my own emotional baggage/strong emotions to this person that has passed over - it was difficult to keep the contact for a long period of time.

Again, I wish you all the best with this. Take care.

/Jaimie
 
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From my own experience, I've found things mostly within. I wouldn't say there are never physical signs, but mostly I experience mind-to-mind contact.

This isn't something I can make happen at will. In terms of dreams, I've had dreams of people, living or deceased which are simply muddled ramblings which may express something but I don't regard as communication or contact.But sometimes in a dream I've had 'realler-than-real' experiences, where a deceased parent may appear, often there are no words, but the experience is so intense it differentiates itself from mundane dreaming. In at least one there was physical contact, such as a firm handshake, in every respect as real as a waking meeting.

In a waking state, sometimes there are spontaneous thoughts which because of their unexpectedness, sometimes stand out as a contact rather than imagination. However on one occasion, I deliberately placed myself in a state of deep relaxation - perhaps comparable to that of a past-life regression. On this occasion, I wasn't seeking anything in particular, other than this relaxed, but alert, state. Somehow I found myself in a dialogue with both deceased parents. This wasn't something where I demanded proof or facts as mean of identification, it was more a sense of each person's distinctly recognisable identity and presence. It turned out to be a resolution of issues left unresolved previously, things which had troubled me for years were understood and I found myself smiling and laughing at these pains, as we went through them together. There was nothing planned or deliberate in this, I just went with the flow. After what seemed like a couple of hours, maybe it was less but it felt like a long time, the session ended, partly I think because I needed to move, my body became restless after being motionless for a long time.

That experience wasn't repeated, at least not in that prolonged sense, though there are still occasional passing moments of contact, perhaps when I'm engaged in some household task, there may be some brief exchanges. At other times it may come to me in the form of a song or melody, some old, forgotten tune resurfaces in my mind, and seems a reminder of a presence. Similarly there are sometimes fragrances, a smell without a physical source, which are a similar alert.

As for reincarnation, though I'm firmly convinced of its reality, it hasn't really been something I worried about in this context. Maybe because I tend to think in terms of longer intervals between lives, a number of decades at least. Shorter intervals have been reported of course, I just don't have all the answers.
 
Shelly,
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. What I was taught growing up, and what has seemed to be very accurate in my experience, is that it takes huge amounts of energy and strength for spirits to communicate in the ways you have described. It is very difficult for them to do these things. Here is what I do with the spirits I work with and am familiar with:
Usually, I will leave things in a specific place for them, like little dishes with candy or whatever they would usually like, I've left them anything from chocolate and hard candies, to small glasses of whiskey, a cup of coffee, or a little bowl of whatever I made for dinner. It depends on what they want. I am also sensitive, like you have said you are, so a lot of these requests come more like how Speedwell said, mind-to-mind. That is often much easier for them to do, especially if you're close with them. I will often burn incense or light candles for them and leave out these little "offerings" to help them feel welcome and comfortable. This frequently helps as they feel and appear to be much more present when you give them a little space to have something of their own. I will also put out something that belonged to them or that I know they like, if it is someone I knew before they passed. Another thing I do is I will try to talk to them, and not to ask them to do something or show me something, but treat them like any other person. Say hello, say that you hope they're doing well, ask if there is anything they want or need. If you can go to a quiet place and try to talk to her, maybe put something out to make her feel more welcome, or something you think she might miss or want, and just talk to her the way you normally would, I imagine that would be very comforting to her and may help to bridge the gap.

I know everyone has different methods and such, but this is what works for me. If it isn't for you, there are lots of things you can try and many avenues people work in to do similar things. On that note, a secondary piece of advice, do not use Ouija boards. It is really up to you at the end of the day, through your own observations and decisions, but personally I do not trust Ouija boards, or anything that comes out of them. I don't know a single person with a good story about a Ouija board, but I know LOTS of people with horrible stories, and I am one of them because once I was young and I didn't know better. Call me superstitious, but we do not allow those things in my house, I won't touch them. For one thing, just because a spirit or an entity of some sort is communicating through a Ouija board doesn't mean it has to be honest with who it is communicating to, and you can't force them to be. Second, they invite things that you absolutely do not want to talk to or deal with. I sincerely do not think that what your husbands mother said should be taken to heart, that is a horrible thing to say and there is no telling what she was talking to with that thing. Please take what she said with a grain of salt, or less.

I hope any of what I said could be useful to you, and that it does help if you decide to try it. I wish you the best of luck with all your endeavors.
 
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