The Poems of Mini, Sisi and Heinrich Heine

[Ministargazer]

"O loved ones who live in distant times to come
and who now speaks to my soul
will often be in your company
will be revived when you need a poem."

Sisi's poem (1800's)

Could Sisi be saying that in a future reincarnation, poetry will be the link between the lifetimes and that the soul of Sisi be will recognized in the writings of Mini? Has this already happened? I will post the poems from both lifetimes and let you be the judge.

 

[Ministargazer]

Liberty

"They say that girls can't wander
But I proved them wrong
I did everything that I wanted to
I had so much that I had to do
Life set me forward, life set me free
All I ask of you
Is that you give me liberty
It is true that the wanderlust
Is really a neutral soul
Who strikes the heart of all
Who stops to heed his call.
I can't express the way I feel
But I can tell you where I've been
I can tell you tales of wanderings
And describe the sights I've seen
Male or female
Set me free
The only life of my soul is me
And the road is where I'd rather be"

Mini's poem - age 20 (1973)

Mini - adventurous wanderer, parallels Sisi's wandering tendencies ...

"I am a seagull Nessundrove
No lido consider my homeland
No place, no place to itself binds me
Today, infinity with wings surf of the North Sea

Oh swallow, give me your quick wings
And take me with you to distant countries
I'll be happy to break the chains that hold me
And to break the bars of my prison
If I could fly with you
Through the eternity of heaven
How I would thank you with all my being
The Goddess that men call freedom."

Sisi's poem

 

[Ministargazer]

When Sisi was married at the young age of 16 she felt trapped by her royal position and her obligation to the country and to Franz Joseph. Her poems echo this and strangely enough, the poetry that I wrote during my teenage years (1960's) also speak of this.

Trapped (1968)

"The pale grey sky so lonesome
Away beyond my grasp
Outlines the dead pale leaves
That wave to the sky and dance
The clouds are dirty
They drift across my vision
And wander away
The hills are cold and rocky
I'd like to run to them
And find freedom
The darkness is closing in
Behind the sunset fading fast
Life is running with the current
Rushing past
Though freedom and the cost of life must overlap
We stand alone and wonder, why the trap."

Mini's poem

"Oh that I had not left the way
That would to freedom me have led
Oh that I had not gone astray
On vanity's broad path instead."

Sisi's poem (1800's)

Photos of Sisi and Mini.

 

[briski]

Can definitely see a resemblance in those pictures

 

[SeaAndSky]

Hi Mini,

As before, I see a strong resemblance in terms of both physical appearance and in the nature and direction of your poetry.

Just as a matter of curiosity, how do you see yourself in terms of her very strong emphasis on exercise and her exhausting beauty regimen? Both seem related to her seeming obsession with her physical appearance, but I think the fitness aspects may also have been related to her sense of her own independence.

A great lady of her day, but a very sad ending.

Cordially,
S&S

 

[Ministargazer]

Can definitely see a resemblance in those pictures

Thanks for your support S&S. It's great to belong to a forum like this where everyone supports each other and understands what it's like to emotionally undergo the remembrance of past lives and all of the feelings that accompany this. Going in the direction that Brian Stalin pointed me in, now I'm coming up with other clues - mounting evidence, photos, habits, inclinations, poetry. I'm coming to accept my life as Sisi and continue with my research. Astrologically her Mars in Capricorn is exactly the same degree as mine is and we both have Mars/Jupiter trines and have been athletic on horseback etc. I remember jumping fences and racing through the woods on horseback as a kid and never broke a bone, although my siblings did! Just like Sisi, I spent my days on horseback (ponies), hiking, swimming and writing poetry. Very particular about health and diet even to this day. I am on a strict regime as far as food and supplements go and with naturopathic. People say that I don't look my age and no bad habits - smoking, etc. I still go to the gym and swim. Have kept up with walking. Whenever I travel I do extended hikes about the city non-stop, very much as Sisi did. I have to be careful as I go solo, even this summer alone to Vancouver Island. Can't seem to break this habit of travelling solo. The stabbing of Sisi, tragic yes. I was also attacked in the same way back in 1982 but survived (thanks be to God.) I still carry the scars on my body.

 

[SeaAndSky]

Hi Mini,

Well, that lines up some very close resemblances in terms of appearance, "prone to wander", attention to health/fitness, similar poetic musings, and astrological chart. You didn't mention anything related to the Sisi's obsession with her appearance, but your own pictures seem to be a good deal more casual. So, I am assuming that your most recent PL had what was possibly an intended balancing affect in terms of counteracting the extremely privileged and possibly emotionally insecure aspects of being Sisi. I say "insecure" because it seems to me that both her desire to be "elsewhere" and obsession with appearance may have been the result of insecurity and discomfort in her situation/marriage in that PL.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--I am curious to know more about the knife attack in this lifetime if you are willing to talk about it.

 

[Ministargazer]

S&S, yes, the attacker was deemed to be insane, as was Empress Elisabeth's attacker and was initially charged with attempted murder. Charges were dropped to wounding with intent. He served some time, got out of prison, attempted to find me and was unable to. He eventually killed someone else and was sent back to prison. Running away from Sisi's arranged marriage played out once more in my periodic travels away from my spouse who kindly put up with it just as Franz Joseph did. Emotional insecurity (possibly) more a realization that love must adapt to circumstances rather than love for love's sake as was Sisi's dilemma. Franz Joseph was known to be a fairly boring and conventional character - probably not very interesting to be around and not challenging enough to the intellectually complex Sisi. Hence the poetry... I have attached photos. These photos go back several decades. Several of these photos show the blended side of Sisi and the blues musician - the PL just before this one.

 

[Ministargazer]

Hi Mini,

Well, that lines up some very close resemblances in terms of appearance, "prone to wander", attention to health/fitness, similar poetic musings, and astrological chart. You didn't mention anything related to the Sisi's obsession with her appearance, but your own pictures seem to be a good deal more casual. So, I am assuming that your most recent PL had what was possibly an intended balancing affect in terms of counteracting the extremely privileged and possibly emotionally insecure aspects of being Sisi. I say "insecure" because it seems to me that both her desire to be "elsewhere" and obsession with appearance may have been the result of insecurity and discomfort in her situation/marriage in that PL.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--I am curious to know more about the knife attack in this lifetime if you are willing to talk about it.

Yes, the life in-between Sisi and myself was male, as Nicki the bluesman so I came back a bit reluctant to be a girl - for a long time was a tomboy. The last PL did balance out the feminine side and lessened it somewhat. The one thing I cannot fathom is the extreme drop from a wealthy royal to a poverty stricken musician, from female to male . Maybe Sisi had had enough of living as a royal and the bitter experience of that lifetime pushed her from one extreme to the other and finding poverty to be equally as intolerable would make sense in my bouncing back to middle class somewhere in-between, possibly feeling most comfortable there.

 

[Ministargazer]

Hi Mini,

Well, that lines up some very close resemblances in terms of appearance, "prone to wander", attention to health/fitness, similar poetic musings, and astrological chart. You didn't mention anything related to the Sisi's obsession with her appearance, but your own pictures seem to be a good deal more casual. So, I am assuming that your most recent PL had what was possibly an intended balancing affect in terms of counteracting the extremely privileged and possibly emotionally insecure aspects of being Sisi. I say "insecure" because it seems to me that both her desire to be "elsewhere" and obsession with appearance may have been the result of insecurity and discomfort in her situation/marriage in that PL.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--I am curious to know more about the knife attack in this lifetime if you are willing to talk about it.

Yes, I can look back on this reflecting now that lifetimes tend to repeat themselves or as the old saying goes, "Those who fail to remember the past must repeat it." When tragically short lifetimes tend to repeat themselves possibly "the powers that be" may decide to intervene and break the pattern or did Sisi carry more karma from a life before that one so that she had to pay the ultimate price and had I already paid off enough karma from the lifetime of the blues musician so I was allowed to survive? These questions remain unanswered.

 

[SeaAndSky]

Hi Mini,

If it is of any comfort, I am of approximately equal years (and John Tat and KenJ are even more "venerable"). There is a wide spread of ages on the board. Though, in my own personal experience, most (but not all) of the younger ones only hang around for awhile and then drift away. The life of this world "shouts" in the ears of the young, but not so loudly in middle-age and older. It is a time for picking up lost threads and trying to resolve old nagging issues within.

In terms of pendulum swings, it is not that uncommon, and there are some threads on that on the board somewhere. So, you might want to do a bit more exploring and see what you can find. My own experience (with pendulums as a physics major) is that they hang steady unless pushed/pulled. Then the swing goes in the opposite direction, with the degree of swing governed by whatever damping forces (such as friction) are present to mute what would otherwise be an almost equal and opposite reaction. Likewise, the degree of damping forces (including intentional intervention) will govern how long the swinging lasts and how quickly the pendulum returns to stasis. What these represent in terms of "lifetimes" is your guess as much as mine, though I think intentionality probably plays a greater and greater role as the spirit/soul matures. But, this is just my take.

On being stabbed during your current and last female lifetime--that does make one wonder. I don't think what is called "karma" is a mechanical thing. From what I can make out, this type of thing is ultimately governed (or at least subject to regular intervention by) intelligent agencies. In other words, the administration of justice in the universe is not a mechanical process. It is ultimately governed by lifeforms just like the administration of justice in this world is governed by lifeforms. Sowing and reaping seem to me to be limited to some degree or another by whether the necessary lesson has been learned, which equals real repentance in terms of wrong-doing. However, there also seems to be a need to extend forgiveness to others who have wronged you. I haven't been able to put it all together in my own mind, much less practice it consistently in my own life, but that is about as much as I've been able to muddle out.

Cordially,
S&S

 

[Ministargazer]

It's wonderful to now have a place to put my poetry of the past. Here is a poem written in 1973 that speaks of remembering past life memories.

Miracles
Did you ever touch the hand of God
somewhere in a dream
I think it might have been yesterday
I woke up this morning
with strange memories
that left me sad
for what I had been
I care not to explain
why He would honour me
bring peace to a weary soul
and set my burdens free.

As you may notice, there are hints of "old speech" in this - Mini writing almost in Sisi's style of the 1800's instead of the style of 1973 "I care not to explain why He would honour me".

This one here written in 1980 - even more revealing, talks of "advancing to my fate" as both Sisi and Mini suspected.

"Life, the great struggle
Life the mountain before me lies
I was born on a ledge
with no escape
each footstep
covered in dust of the past
danger ahead
I advance to my fate
meet the challenge
I cannot turn back
the struggles will strengthen me
God's at the top
and I'm on the right track."

Observing life after life -

Death seems very near
I've only finished one life
and I'm evolving into another
fragments of unloved lives
break through my consciousness
memories confusing the child
with unsolved riddles
it all seems very vague
that I was born and then grew
and here I am
living to die
death seems very near
I've only finished one life
and I'm evolving into another.

Mini poem

"The thought of death purifies
as a gardener pulls weeds
from his garden ... "

Part of a Sisi poem

I seem haunted by the fact that I am aware that I am living one lifetime after another and Sisi also wrote poetry about death, yet in another context.

"Nineteen years ago
I stepped aboard
a merry-go-round
and God, spinning madly through space and time
I lost myself, panic mounting
the merry-go-round could not be stopped
so 'round and 'round through the years I flew
spun like crazy
saw familiarity and sanity
dim out their lights
lost forever between
strange summers and fantastic memories
I spin
in confusion."

God,
if I could float through green paper trees
and drift in a column
of dusty, buckling earth waves of brown
life could never keep me down

God,
if I could reach out
and touch the intangible clouds
or dissolve into the universe
and become part of the mystical Oneness
ascending everything shallow
the ego me
then I'd be free

Please me on a silver boat
that skims the water blue
ask the wind to fill my sails
the sun in welcome too
let me drift the lonely sea
and sail into Eternity."

1972

Sisi often wrote of Nature and her love for it.

"The sun mows the snow
down the gutter
trickling like spring drops
cluster in the hollow of rocks
and wet earth clumps
Life flows
we are moving on the river
blind fools
we feast and dance
the night away."

Mini (reference to nature and of our unawareness of reincarnation)

"Your feet are the elements
oh beautiful flesh
skin bare
to Earth, Fire, Water and Air
because you are a part of them
and now, in April
can't you feel the sun within you
also burning brighter
warmer upon the face of the Earth
and truth is mounting
ocean waves are flinging spray into the air
oh Neptune!
follow the sunbeams, people
they go from whence we came
And nothing ever changes
But the same."

And here Mini is referring to Neptune, God of the Sea and ocean waves. Sisi also wrote about the sea ( poems of The North Sea).

"One last long look to you beloved sea
the farewell, however difficult it might be
God grant that back
I chose to take leave
the stillness of a moonlit night before me
or the vision splendid
silver you shine forth
when tomorrow, over the dunes
you'll be touched by rays of the sun
I, with rapid wing beat
I'll be far away already
still hover over you
flocks of white gulls
but a miss, you'll notice this."

Sisi (1800's)

Some of my poetry was published as a child in various magazines - "The Christian" October 1971 - "Canadian High News" etc.. At one point I thought that I should publish these under the title "Bohemian Woman" which would have been an apt description of the life that Sisi lived. Probably this collection of poems and the comparisons of Sisi and Mini should be compiled into a book in future - "Searching for Sisi"? It would necessitate a journey to Austria. I'll keep you posted.

 

[Ministargazer]

The Prophet
Elusive butterfly Truth
My people hunger for you
Soul bound mystic sleeps not
Nor lives as a person aught
Miles in my dreams
Chasing moonbeams
Many more awake
For Truth's sake
I have lived a miracle or two
Just to bring them to you.

Mini (1973)

"Truth - My people hunger for you" - is this Sisi talking about the people of Hungary?

 

[Ministargazer]

Too late, too late we met
on the road of thorns
that is life
too far
there has ga
brought from one another
in arrest while
the wheel of time

Sisi

"along the road of life" (instead of thorns)
part of a poem by mini

 

[Ministargazer]

Another of my earlier poems (1965-1975) and one that echoes the eternal question - "Who Am I?" This poem appears in my book "Go Back Jack" and seems to confirm the truth of reincarnation.

Don't ask me who I am
Ask those who have lived before
Ask the leaves and the trees who watched me come and go
Ask the fields where I ran barefoot in summer as a laughing child
Ask the rock whose crevice contains my diary, hidden still
Ask the tree that bears my initials
Ask them and they might tell you
That I've existed, since time began.

 

[Ministargazer]

I found in my computer archives an introduction to a collection of poems entitled "Bohemian Woman" that had been written by myself in the 1980's in my 30's. As the title of "Bohemian Woman" most aptly describes Sisi describing herself, read the following and imagine that this is Sisi expressing her innermost feelings and ambitions as an unrecognized poet in her day. As it might magically appear, Sisi resumes her writings, lifetime to lifetime continuing her destiny as a poet.

Another poem, "The Real World", also written in the 1980's, describes a political situation that existed in that decade but could have existed in Sisi's time also and shows a combined concern for the people and the state of affairs.

The light of this world has grown murky
Selfishness clouds the sun
Everyone preoccupied with survival
Fearful for tomorrow
Yet the people cannot be blamed
Raped by the government
Their jobs stolen
Their homes, their hopes, their dreams
A massive wave of anger has swept the land
Voters have changed the face of Parliament
In a single day
Idealism suffers
Food banks grow instead
Beggars line the streets
Like they do in Mexico
While the rich grow richer
The poor are denied
Madness overtakes the system
The deficit grows unabated
And I remember another time of peace and love
When people lived for music, love and dreams
Perhaps it was in another lifetime
It seems.

 

[Ministargazer]

Just finished reading the best selling book "Sisi, Empress on Her Own" by Allison Pataki. Fantastic account of what really happened but curiously enough, not much of her poetry or her poetic ambitions mentioned. Can't wait to read her other books. Especially enjoyed the ghostly meeting between Sisi and Ludwig foretelling her own death. Spooky stuff. She had an amazing fascination for madness and I find in myself also an aversion to the conventional. There is genius in madness that too often goes unrecognized, I agree.

 

[glia21]

Hi mini, since I saw an ad today about the musical "Elisabeth" I remembered I loved to listen to it when I was 13. I had it on a tape, a copy from a friend, didn´t see the musical but it must be great - even though I´m not that much interested in Sisi.

Here`s the link:
https://www.musicalvienna.at/de/spi...duction/849/ELISABETH-Konzertante-Auffuehrung

It takes place in July right in front of Schloss Schönbrunn.

 

[Ministargazer]

Thanks so much glia21 for thinking of me and I have checked out the link. Didn't realize how popular Sisi is still today in Austria and other parts of Europe. What a pity she didn't publish a book of poetry while she was alive and fulfill her literary ambitions. Maybe if I publish "Bohemian Woman" it will compensate - better still to arouse the public's interest by publishing a book speculating her reincarnation. Several years ago I hadn't even heard of Sisi but knowing her has certainly enriched my life.

 

[Ministargazer]

For the first time today I googled Heinrich Heine's poetry, adored by Sisi and find that I too, in my first introduction to it, am also caught up in his spell and magical way with words, even after all this time... how is this so?

Ein Fichtenbaum

A single fir tree, lonely
On a northern mountain height
Sleeps in a white blanket
Draped in snow and ice
His dreams are of a palm tree
Who far in eastern lands
Weeps all alone and silent
Among the burning sands.

 

[Ministargazer]

And another one of my poems from the archives illustrating the pangs of romance. I wonder what Heinrich would have thought of it in his day.

Love Under the Gun
Today my soul came back to me
My lover couldn't set me free
I saw his smile turn to a frown
And I was stepping on frozen ground
The light in his eyes no longer shone for me
The criticism came constantly
And when the magic left, I cried
Because something deep inside had died
Love is magic, this I know
When it is gone, it's time to go
And then he said, "Don't cry that way."
"For true love will come back to stay
You can't keep true love away."

 

[Ministargazer]

From reading "Sisi, Empress on Her Own" I have come to realize that Empress Elisabeth had romantic attractions to several men including Bay Middleton, an English companion in horseback riding and Count Guylas Andrassy of Hungary which could not be fulfilled due to her marriage to Emperor Franz Joseph. It was rumoured however, that her last daughter Valerie was fathered by Andrassy, although this was never proven. Perhaps one of my poems from the archives has surfaced in my life to express the way that she felt in these relationships.

To know you
is to love you compulsively
obsessively beyond reason and logic
against all odds
to know you is to suffer tears in the silent dark
and heartaches that never end
to know you is to share you with others
spit in the face of jealousy
and dance with the devil
to know you is to crave you
like chocolate at midnight
and lie alone by the phone
waiting for your call
to know you is to both love and hate you
because the addiction cannot be broken
secret rendezvous that flirt with danger
and step quietly down the path of
self destruction
to know you is to hold magic briefly
in the palm of my hand.

 

[Ministargazer]

As Sisi and I continue to write poetry - here is a new one (2019), inspired by a true story and a little dog that I tried to rescue. Enjoy.

The Little Black Shih Tzu
She sleeps on the floor on a makeshift bed
a little black Shih Tzu at her head
his coat matted in knots obscures his eyes
she snores in her sleep, ignoring his cries
his food bowl is empty, his water bowl dry
a bag full of empties in a corner draws flies
his heart is innocent this women, his life
he doesn't know discord, addiction or strife
so he watches and waits and wags his tail
the one that he loves, he cannot fail
when morning comes she'll arise as she must
and stagger through the door while the room collects dust
and for days the little dog will seek comfort in her bed
climb onto her pillow and lay down his head.

 

[Ministargazer]

And from Heinrich Heine, who I have come to admire, as Sisi also did - one of his poems. I especially like the rhythmic rhyming flow.

Maybe I'm a doubting Thomas
For I don't expect to see
Heaven, which Jerusalem and
Romish teachings promise me
Yet the presence here of angels
Is one thing I'll never doubt
That these shining faultless beings
Here on earth do move about .....

 

[Ministargazer]

Stranger to Myself (2019)

Stepping down the railway ties
on a snowless winter afternoon
sixty-six years and I don't know who I am
but maybe I'll know soon

My consciousness hovers over me
and takes a good look around
my vision extends before birth and beyond
and reveals what it has found

I was an Empress and a blues musician
searched for Jesus under a star
a writer, a mystic, an astrologer, a priest
I was a wanderer from afar

Stranger to myself I drift through life
but not to palaces and trains
I'm sitting inside a dusty boxcar
trapped in a relentless summer rain

Images swirl through my mind of no time
the scripts, the parts I've played
in a Catholic church I chant "The Lord's Prayer"
from life to life I've strayed

Jumping fences on horseback in the countryside
then diving into an Ontario lake
from Egypt to Europe, the U.S.A. and Canada
What memories this journey will make

Stepping down the railway ties
on a snowless winter afternoon
sixty-six years and I still don't know who I am
but maybe I'll know soon.

 

[Ministargazer]

The Sardine Can Train (2019)

Here comes the sardine can train
rolling down the track
carrying all the sardine people
standing back to back
is there room for one more body
step aside and cram me in
pressed against the cell phone people
short and tall ones, fat and thin
totally absorbed in technology
it's hard to find a smile
they're all hooked up to invisible aps
mile after cross city mile
is there any way around this?
dodge the insane rush hour crunch
munching on a Tim Horton's donut
to avoid a robotic bunch
train after sardine train
the nine to fivers flow on
sit and watch the sardine people
until the work a day crowd is gone
still better than the freeway madness
an insane bumper car craze
hit and miss and horns full blaring
the downtown traffic maze
or just escape the bump and grind
retreat and even flee
to sanity in the countryside
and peace among the trees
here comes the sardine can train
rolling down the track
carrying all the sardine people
standing back to back.

 

[Ministargazer]

My poking fun at the "Sardine Can Train People" in 2019, sounds similar to Sisi's poetic tendency to poke fun at the people in her time, although I think, a little less severe.

"A baboon, the sovereign majestic towers
in foreign dress austere and serious
the little monkey at his side, his wife
frills ago reverence to the people howling
the children, two monkeys, very successful
as the father
they occur in military uniform
a whole army of monkeys decorated
is being done to grin and cackle
some jackass diplomat finally
completes the gang."

Sisi

 

[Ministargazer]

In a dream
I saw territories
so broad, so rich and handsome
lapped by the blue sea
rimmed by mountain's crests

Sisi

 

[Ministargazer]

Came upon a poem that I had written probably as a teenager or in my early twenties "The Garter Snake" which is very similar to one that Sisi wrote about a toad.

The Garter Snake
I was strumming soft tunes into the wind with the tall grass
dancing and flowing
when a little garter snake came slithering up to me
through his blowing green jungle and touched my knee
frightening this poor entertainer
ah, but when I looked again, there he was
flickering his red tongue into the breeze
and regarding me with interested eyes
bold little stranger, when the music flows
we share a common interest.

Mini

At the foot of a majestic fir on the soft moss rejoices
to be alone in the woods
a fragrant autumn cyclamen
but it does not last long his joy
that's out of the grass of the lawn
he comes out, a big yellow toad and
that ends up at him
although there has been only briefly
crushed to fine the map
poor flower! Almost mangled,
he's now all bent ...

Sisi

 

[Ministargazer]

Following Sisi
(And I didn't even know it)

Following Sisi, my childhood was wild. The forests were my friends, the sun and the wind, my joy.

Following Sisi, I climbed on horseback as soon as I could walk and charged through forests, flying over fences deep in the wilderness. Submerged in nature I communed with maples and firs, snakes and frogs and escaped into pristine lakes. Rebellious and headstrong, I could not be tamed.

Following Sisi, I became a writer and poet, emptying my mind and heart onto paper, penned books and fed a romantic heart that wound its way through amorous adventures. Just as it was for Sisi, marriage would be a convenience of opposites that would not satisfy the soul.

Following Sisi, I would wander the halls in tortured haze, mourning my capture, trapped into circumstances beyond control and rules that restricted expression. In the midst of strangers, seeking escape, I would never feel at home. Tears could not ease the pain beyond closed doors that no one else could understand.

Following Sisi, I would worship the fountain of youth but resent the long locks that attracted admirers. Routines of supplements and health would replace long tedious routines of beauty but I would retain perfectionism and strive for excellence in every detail.

Following Sisi, I would abandon the place of my birth and adopt the peasants of Hungary who, for me, became the common folk of Newfoundland.

Following Sisi, I once more met Franz Joseph who turned his back on me, that crazy Sisi who had run from him and destroyed his life and empire. He would choose instead the fame again that he had rightly earned but would not marry. In life, we would run from each other but in dreams we would marvel the continuous secret rendezvous. Lonely and committed to position, just as Franz had been, he would soul mine and reflect his choices until the end.

Following Sisi, I travelled the countryside, from place to place, a nomad in flight. "Why are you so tortured" in Mexico they would ask and I could not answer why I was running from a collapsed empire that no longer existed and the child that I had lost. I would make my bed in strange hotels and worship silence instead.

Following Sisi, I searched for the boy that I had lost and found Crown Prince Rudolph again against all odds. He was just as mad and so was I but this time, when he pleaded for help, I would respond, again and again until my pockets were empty and the price was paid.

Franz Joseph would cross his path and choose to ignore the one who had disgraced him but Rudolph and I would arrive at the brink together and this time survive, thanks to the intervention of angels.

Rudolph would reclaim the kingdom that he had lost and willingly walk through castle halls shouldering the responsibility that he had rejected.

Following Sisi, my life would be tragically marked by knife and assassin that left scars. I would survive barely my life instead of the grave but I would eventually sample the peace that Sisi had never found.

I had followed Sisi my whole life and didn't even know it.