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Unique Situation

Gormless, I had to look that one up, never ran across that one before! I think you are referring more to lust than love, although I sometimes have difficulty differentiating between the two myself. Love is a difficult thing to define, for me anyway, as the years have gone by. I recall a period when I defined it as "the anticipation of unmet and expected desires" or "projected need fulfillment", which is as meaningless as as saying "lustful intent". However, there is a lot more to it than that I find after looking back on my life and having several very loving relationships as well as lust-filled ones, but that is just in my current lifetime. One of my most "proof of reincarnation" moments occurred forty-two years ago in such a relationship where I discovered that I knew things I had no experience of in this lifetime, 'nuf said about that relationship.

My feelings for my deceased sister, who was nine years older than me, is still strong - I still miss her even now after her death fourteen years ago. And, I'm humbled by my current wife's apparent love for me by accepting all that she is burdened with in our marriage, my disability, property upkeep, and even knowing that she will be a rather young widow. I feel inadequate most of the time when considering what I have to offer, not only now, but at any time in my life. I have been blessed in this respect.
 
I'm not referring to lust Ken. I'm referring to something about my old love that I loved. You have to understand, I was ruthlessly efficient and I enjoyed it. That stemmed from an intrinsically cynical mind. The men under my command loved me for my insouciance but I've found that that only ever came to true fruitition with my old love. When she was untouched by evil she played with playfulness. It was like a breath of fresh air for a soldier like me. It made it all worth it. It made me think that protecting my home was worth it...because this soul...this beautiful creature...this woman...was free to be herself and I was free to be with her. So just like your love caring for you with your disability my love took me away from my wars. She didn't even have to do anything but be herself. That's why it was so hard that the war was brought home in my current life.
 
Hi Jim:

It is a shame that Tanguerra has not been around lately. (It makes me wonder what she is up to). If you are interested in a love story spanning several lives, you should read about her and her friend "X" in a variety of threads. She would understand exactly what you mean about being drawn over and over again to some particular quality in your love; something that you greet with a sense of recognition in each new lifetime.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--What you said in your last post is among the best statements of a man's romantic love for a woman I have ever read. Good writing on the one hand, and congratulations on being an old-fashioned romantic on the other. There are few left, and the world is a poorer place as a result.
 
Hi S&S. When I first met her in my current life we both wondered where we knew each other from. It was like "Hi!" and picking up right from where we left off. Your right, her way of being in the world was something I recognised before she had even spoke to me. It was like she knew every button to press to disarm me and my way with her together with that put us at ease with each other immediately. I've never really explored past lives and love, I just accepted it as a given.

I just got defensive of my old love and felt like gushing. I guess I still have feelings for her even though it ended badly in my current life.
 
Love is a bloody nuisance Ken. When I was with my old love it felt like the world had stopped turning. It felt like we had to be together. Destiny didn't have that in store for us however.

When I met her I was just an average bloke with an average job living an average life. Fighting for her brought anger and passion, war and finally resentment. I wouldn't have remembered all of my past life battles either. I wouldn't have been aware of anything. She came into my life and challenged every perception that I had of the battle between good and evil. Its all changed and traumatised me.

A while back I was at a tram stop and a woman sat two feet from me who looked like her. She saw me have a series of flashbacks reliving all of my battles. With regards to women I seem to be on the shelf now. How could I ever explain to a prospective lover that the battle of Sulcoit in 968ad is playing on my mind for instance. Love changed me in my current life AND that's a bloody nuisance.
 
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Your story sounds so familiar to me Richard, and I relate to all this more than I can express. I just posted my own story of sorts, I think we all wonder if we'll ever have that great love that is written into our fate and is burned across multiple lives.... and I think we should stay hopeful. I just posted my recent experiences for the first time ever... a brief overview because it would take a year to explain. But like RunningWind92... love exists, sometimes only to teach us something. We may never have it in a lifetime, not actively be involved with that person aside from brief meetings, but sometimes fate is kind. We just have to live our lives to the best and stay hopeful things fall into place. They always do one way or another but the important part is that we learn, don't let it hinder you from living to your potential.
 
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