Hi. I am new here.
I am 32 now in this life. I recall when I was sick at home, in bed with Glandular fever. I was maybe 11 or 12. I am Caucasian.
I was lying there when I saw clearly, a woman who was black, with a housemaids uniform on, the style of the white apron, and black dress.
She was quite well rounded physically. I keep thinking about old jazz, Ella Fitzgerald, Satchmo, the 1920's era possibly. Mississippi too, I talked to my parents about getting a house or flat near the Mississippi in 2006. Which does not make sense as I have no regular income to get a loan and live in Australia. And about being black. It is insistent in me, and I sometimes will be dancing and think about how I am dancing as a black woman. And gospel is very interesting and powerful for me. And an insistence about my hair being offensive, all of my hair, my head hair and my body hair, and keep thinking, if I put it in braids I won't be troubled so much and just keep obsessing about it. I even left high school early one day, faking sickness to get my body hair removed! Also I like to wear headscarves and pile up my hair high. Have been engaged to a black man from the Carribbean Islands, but it was all very strange and we both thought so, because we didn't know each other at all! It lasted a week of this engagement. And I feel a powerful connection with Africa. And I love to sing soul and hear soul music. And I just feel black, even though I am one of the fairest skinned people walking around on the earth today. And it's also about being proud of and loving my big butt, even though I don't have a huge butt, I am athletic in build. And checking it in the mirror or reflection as I go by.
I am also looking forward to Fat Tuesday tomorrow, and feel very drawn to the New Orleans, Southern US area. Even though I will just think of it, and no plans to visit Mardi Gras. Beads bought several times over, I have bought the same or nearly the same again, Rosary beads and other beads, that I have to have more than one set, and it seems fine to me and maybe I was rich then. And I also have had a black African drum, a Djembe, bought by me in 1999. I played it for a few years then sold it in a river town. I love rivers and river towns. Although I fear falling into water from bridges and drowning. And I love songs with "rise up singing". Slave or Gospel or jazz - even Summertime strikes a real deep chord in me. And I go sometimes into Southern speech patterns and think it's fine too. It feels very natural for me. Yet is so strange when I was brought up in the suburbs, in Sydney, Australia from 1978.
blessings
twopaw
I am 32 now in this life. I recall when I was sick at home, in bed with Glandular fever. I was maybe 11 or 12. I am Caucasian.
I was lying there when I saw clearly, a woman who was black, with a housemaids uniform on, the style of the white apron, and black dress.
She was quite well rounded physically. I keep thinking about old jazz, Ella Fitzgerald, Satchmo, the 1920's era possibly. Mississippi too, I talked to my parents about getting a house or flat near the Mississippi in 2006. Which does not make sense as I have no regular income to get a loan and live in Australia. And about being black. It is insistent in me, and I sometimes will be dancing and think about how I am dancing as a black woman. And gospel is very interesting and powerful for me. And an insistence about my hair being offensive, all of my hair, my head hair and my body hair, and keep thinking, if I put it in braids I won't be troubled so much and just keep obsessing about it. I even left high school early one day, faking sickness to get my body hair removed! Also I like to wear headscarves and pile up my hair high. Have been engaged to a black man from the Carribbean Islands, but it was all very strange and we both thought so, because we didn't know each other at all! It lasted a week of this engagement. And I feel a powerful connection with Africa. And I love to sing soul and hear soul music. And I just feel black, even though I am one of the fairest skinned people walking around on the earth today. And it's also about being proud of and loving my big butt, even though I don't have a huge butt, I am athletic in build. And checking it in the mirror or reflection as I go by.
I am also looking forward to Fat Tuesday tomorrow, and feel very drawn to the New Orleans, Southern US area. Even though I will just think of it, and no plans to visit Mardi Gras. Beads bought several times over, I have bought the same or nearly the same again, Rosary beads and other beads, that I have to have more than one set, and it seems fine to me and maybe I was rich then. And I also have had a black African drum, a Djembe, bought by me in 1999. I played it for a few years then sold it in a river town. I love rivers and river towns. Although I fear falling into water from bridges and drowning. And I love songs with "rise up singing". Slave or Gospel or jazz - even Summertime strikes a real deep chord in me. And I go sometimes into Southern speech patterns and think it's fine too. It feels very natural for me. Yet is so strange when I was brought up in the suburbs, in Sydney, Australia from 1978.
blessings
twopaw
