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WWII Past Life

Well, like myself, I was a full-time paid Allgemeine-SS member and so that is how I avoided being sent to the front when a lot of my Kameraden were volunteering or being called up. If you worked in a full-time position in Germany that was important you could be exempt from being called up. I had a young friend, the one I mention above, Erich, who I was able to keep from the front lines until about '44 because I made him a personal assistant and sent in letters for him saying he was important to the operation of our unit on the home-front. More and more of these positions were abandoned as the war lengthened and many smaller units, or "Standarten," were dissolved or combined under the main "Abschnitt" command.
 
Thanks, your explanation helps. There was definitely something huge happening in 1944. That year is chaotic and strong for me.


Demi
 
Painful Memories


I was standing on the shore of a large body of water and looking out over the small waves lapping at the banks. It was night time and I was wearing a field grey uniform, but there was enough illumination for me to see polished black boots in the sand. Behind me was a wall of trees and I remember looking up at the stars and thinking it was a peaceful night. I didn't have a weapon with me, except for maybe a pistol in a holster, and the cleanliness of my uniform would suggest I had not been a part of any fighting yet.


I was looking out over the water when streaks of searing light tore through the sky over my head. At first they were silent, but then I could hear their noise and the explosion sounds they made behind me in the trees. I knew immediately that the enemy was upon us and that our position was not safe at all. I immediately turned and ran into the forest behind me. I heard screams and shouting from all over the area as soldiers ran through the foliage in a panic. Up ahead I saw barbed wire and many large green tents that made up a temporary encampment. All the soldiers from the surrounding area were running back now as explosions rocked the area.


In front of the gate was parked some type of open-top jeep. A man with a helmet was next to it and screaming my name. As I got closer he threw me a black submachine gun and then he scrambled into the driver's seat. I threw myself into the passenger's seat of the car as he tore out of there.


I knew we were not expecting the attack, otherwise I would have been better armed and better equipped. Likewise, there wasn't heavy patrol or guard duty or fortified entrenchments.


I am trembling and shaking now as I type this because the amount of fear I felt while experiencing this memory was unparalleled and re-living those moments again while writing this down is hard for me. I remember in my current physical body my heart was beating so fast and irregularly that I clutched at is because I thought I was having a heart attack. I also remember yelling out loud and moaning as this was happening and I was experiencing the memories from the past. I distinctly remember feeling as if I had never experienced so much fear in my life before. This probably would be my first encounter with an enemy during WWII and although I was in WWI, I do not remember being in any engagements.
 
Painful Memories pt. 2


The next memory I experienced took place in Berlin. I was at the top of an apartment complex in my small (former) apartment and the side of the wall was completely gone and so much dust and debris was everywhere. My clothes were dirty and I wore a helmet and carried a rifle over my shoulder. I went over to where a fallen picture lay and I picked it up with sadness and wiped the layer of dust off of the glass. It was a picture with my wife after our wedding. I walked over to where the gaping hole was and looked down the street and saw that all the buildings were ruined completely and the streets were silent where they once bustled with people and traffic.


The next memory took place in 1938 or 1939 before the war. It is dark and I am laying in my bed looking at my wife across from me. A small amount of light is coming in from the dining room and illuminates us as we lay there. We are both facing each other and we are awake. She looks sad and just completely exhausted as she tells me that the doctor says she can't bear children. I feel crushed and in an instant my dreams of having a family are gone. My hope of raising a strong son to be like me or a beautiful daughter to hold in my arms are gone. I feel such utter sadness and despair. I look at her again and she looks so forlorn that I reach over and pull her toward me and kiss her. Then I am on top of her unbuttoning her blouse from her sternum. She is sad but I know she wants the physical affection. She is naked and her skin is cool and we are making love. (Shortly after this event we will adopt a child).


The next memory takes place a couple years before. I am in Nuremberg and the streets are packed with people lined up at the curb. There is barely enough room to get by on the insides of the sidewalks but I follow my friend, looking for a good spot. He is looking back at me and telling me to hurry up in his excitement. We are both in uniform and I am wearing items designated for ceremonial use. I have something like a silver plate on my chest and everything is gleaming and shining. It seems that I had already participated in some of the festivities and now was loose to enjoy other things. Everyone is expectant because they know the Führer's motorcade will be driving through soon. We don't want to miss it and are desperately searching for a good spot to see the road. Suddenly I hear cheers and I know it is coming towards us! The two of us push at the back of the crowd. Even through I am fairly tall I am having trouble seeing over so many people moving around. I notice a young boy standing in front of me, completely unable to see anything. No one is paying attention to him, everyone is looking at the street expectantly. I whisk him up from in front of me and I put him on my shoulders. It's just in time because the motorcade is driving by and people are going wild! The boy is extremely happy as he yells out and I am extremely happy and I feel myself getting caught up in the rush of joy and excitement from all the people around me. I look over and see my friend, who is also yelling and excited, with his arm outstretched and saluting.
 
I totally understand.When you come up with so much detail it can be a burden.I also have a good idea who I was and know exactly what it feels like to relive a horrible past life death.At the same time I somehow feel thankful for the historical perspective I have.I clearly know the layout of the USS Arizona, and what her last minutes were like.I wish I could remember more than that.I wish I knew more about the sailor I am connected to , and how he relates to who I am today.


Stan
 
Have you tried doing a self-regression Stan? It's fairly easy. There are various tips and tricks around in the FAQs.


Either that, or since you tend to get your info from dreams, you could try just 'asking' for a dream about what else happened. Write it down in your journal before bed: 'Please give me a dream about... xyz and please let me remember it'. Keep the journal handy to write it all down when you wake up.


A good technique for helping with dream recall also is to lie still for a bit when you wake up. Just close your eyes again and don't move straight away and see what you can recall. Sitting up, talking, and moving about tends to blow the dreams away like a puff of smoke. It gets easier with a bit of practice too.


It might surprise you.
 
ZeonChar said:
... The boy is extremely happy as he yells out and I am extremely happy and I feel myself getting caught up in the rush of joy and excitement from all the people around me. I look over and see my friend, who is also yelling and excited, with his arm outstretched and saluting.
Very vivid stuff ZeonChar. Are you using self-regression or some other method?
 
tanguerra said:
Very vivid stuff ZeonChar. Are you using self-regression or some other method?
I use self-regression combined with information from spontaneous recall, before falling asleep, and sometimes dreams. I've also seen a professional hypnotherapist once.
 
ZeonChar said:
I use self-regression combined with information from spontaneous recall, before falling asleep, and sometimes dreams. I've also seen a professional hypnotherapist once.
Similar to me. I use self-regression based on little snippets I get spontaneously from time to time. I find just before falling asleep is a good time to do it too.
 
The WW1 experience sounds interesting, now, which front you where on would have different trenches, such as the Italian front had trenches placed in the mountains. The Russian front when it lasted had some trenches but after the German victory, the Russians were pushed fairly far back. Basically, besides the winter cold the Russian front wasn't as bad, weakly armored and defended, with poor armed and trained soldiers. Now the western front against France and Britain was stagnant with a few changes now in then. It was mostly made up of artillery strikes, and gas attacks.
 
ZenSar said:
The WW1 experience sounds interesting, now, which front you where on would have different trenches
If I did enough digging around I could probably find out since I know what unit I was in. It's just a matter of patience and research.
 
I like how detailed your memories are, I also have similarly detailed "family" images which get really vivid, such as dating my girfriend of the time, and later running carrying my daughter to a bomb shelter towards the later years, but on the other hand I don't remember getting married and I think I must have been married to the girl's mother.. !
 
I want to share something that happened a couple of months ago.


My significant other was out of town on a business trip for a long period of time and I had gone out to a German restaurant with a friend. They had a bier garten in the back with a traditional band playing German music. It was a warm night and the bier garten was full of people eating German food and drinking large beers. I sat with my friend and ordered a large liter and just sat back and enjoyed the atmosphere. Many couples were getting up to dance to the music together in the middle of the bier garten as the band played. Suddenly the band switched to an old tune and one that I knew in my era. An older couple got up to dance and they caught my eye. I live in an area with a large German expat population and running into German people at these kinds of places is normal and expected. The old couple looked like they had been alive at the time that the song was popular in. I watched them turn slowly on the floor together as their touch seemed like the touch of people who had known each other a very long time.


Suddenly I felt overwhelmed as I watched them and my heart became very heavy. As I looked at them I saw what my future could have been, but wasn't. I felt like my life had been ripped away from me by the war. I would never be able to dance with my wife in our old age together. I tried very hard to not get emotional in front of my friend. The loss of what could have been was incredibly painful.
 
Demi said:
I like how detailed your memories are, I also have similarly detailed "family" images which get really vivid, such as dating my girfriend of the time, and later running carrying my daughter to a bomb shelter towards the later years, but on the other hand I don't remember getting married and I think I must have been married to the girl's mother.. !
This is usually how it is. You will have flashes of the highlights of a life, the significant moments and turning points. At some future time you may remember your marriage. You never know.
 
I was in the ruins of a city (Berlin?). I looked at my feet and I was wearing black boots that were scuffed pretty badly. They weren't dress boots but more like utility combat type boots. I could see my legs and I was wearing a drab grey type of uniform with the pant legs tucked into the black boots.


Everything was eerily quiet. I was holding a black-colored type of sub-machine gun with the strap over my shoulder. The buildings stood tall and lifeless and I felt as if the city was empty and a shell of its former self. I was in the middle of a large street and rubble from buildings was fallen in great chunks and as I turned around in a circle I couldn't see anyone about me. The city felt dead. Where were the people?


I turned back around just as a group of about six civilians started walking toward me. Their clothes were tattered and ragged and it looked like they had cobbled pieces together as nothing matched. As they got closer I could see the group was all very old people. They passed me in silence, none of them glancing my way, but kept their eyes down and hurried past me. The last man in the group looked straight at me though. His face was gaunt and ragged with grey stubble and his piercing blue eyes bore into my soul. He looked to be in his 60's, maybe even 70's. I don't know if he looked at me in contempt or just utter despair but his eyes had the thousand-yard stare to them and I felt like he was looking right through me. I also felt that he was blaming me for all his problems and at that point he didn't care what happened to him.
 
That reminds me of an experience where I am in what appears to be Poland. I´m walking with 2 other soldiers through a village (in our time off, it seems). The buildings they live in seem a bit poor and run down with tchatched roofs. There are some old people, women in scarves, staring at us, we don´t conversate but they look at us as if they wish us to go to hell.


BTW, I miss my family also from 2 different lives. I hope one day to reunite one way or the other.
 
Demi, we definitely got different reactions from people during different periods of the war. Some loved us as liberators from the Russians, others hated us. Same thing at home in Germany too it seems.


I think about my past life family a lot and miss them. It's painful not knowing what happened to them.
 
End of the War


Just wanted to share a vivid dream I had of Berlin and the end of the war. Not sure if this dream was actually real or not. I have had memories of committing suicide, not getting captured by the Americans.


In the dream I was a German Soldier during WW2 fighting in the ruins of a city (pretty sure it was Berlin). I was underneath this overhang or some sort of bridge and it was very precarious because it looked like the roof could fall in at any time and I could see slivers of light comings through the cracks between the bricks in the ceiling. I had two weapons with me and very little ammo. One was a rifle that I believe was semi-automatic and the other was similar to the American version of the S.A.W., a type of belt-fed machine gun with a tripod.


The enemy was advancing on our position, I think it might have been the Americans. We were all hunkered down is the best tactical positions we could find. There was some young 15 year old kid with me under the overhang. I heard the whir of engines in the distance and saw a bunch of planes flying overhead. I remember being scared because I knew my position was not very safe and I kept thinking, "if a bomb lands on this roof it is going to collapse and I am done for." They dropped the bombs and they mostly landed all behind me and one landed right in front of me! I remember dirt and debris spraying all over my face and landing on my head from the blast.


Then the enemy started to move towards us. I remember seeing the enemy and one of their Soldiers ran by me; I don't think he saw me in there. I took the automatic weapon and fired after he ran past me because he was running right towards the position of the rest of the men. I remember seeing the bullets riddle his back and he fell face down into the rubble. Immediately I felt very bad, but I knew it was a situation of kill or be killed.


We had snipers in the rear and I remember going back there because I had run out of ammunition up front and I remember picking up a sniper rifle. It was one of those one shot rifles where you had to load a new round each time you shot and you had to pull back a little handle on the top where the bolt was to load a new round.


Suddenly the dream changed to being captured and in a building. The Americans asked this guy in front of me if he had killed anyone and he told them yes, because of course we did, it was battle. They grabbed the guy and were dragging him into a room where they had a noose slung over the rafters and they were going to hang him! Just for being a participant in war. The look on this guy's face was horrible and he was trembling so badly that he couldn't even speak or protest. I remember going ballistic on the guards and screaming at them and asking them how they could do this. I was really stunned that they could be so cold-blooded. They stopped what they were doing and looked at me and that's when the dream ended.
 
This sounds like Berlin in the last days, but the "enemy" was the Russian Red Army. The Americans stayed away from Berlin until after the surrender. The German defenders included boys as young as 15.
 
What was the reason for all this misery?


ZeonChar, I've been reading your posts. It's truly amazing. I have always wondered about the rise of fascism in Germany. Do you remember how the Nazi party became popular? Is the information that we have today about the rise of Hitler true? Did ordinary Germans such as yourself have any idea about places such as Auschwitz?


From my understanding and as per the texts that I've read, every life that you have is a step towards your soul's ultimate liberation from this cycle of birth and death. So, if you choose to end your life (a.k.a suicide), you will start exactly where you left off. Imagine you were watching an intense movie, you hit the pause button, go out to shop groceries, come back and start watching the movie again. That is essentially what you are going through. The best way to move forward is to let go of the past. Focus on the "now" and try to understand the purpose of your current incarnation. (In other words, stop the movie and return the DVD)


Sorry, this was a long post, I underwent a sudden terrible loss in this current life that had me searching for the reasons for my loss. I learnt about karma from my past life and that I was paying for it now. I died of a sudden massive heart attack when I was 48 y.o in my last birth and so I'm nervous about a lot of things.
 
Argonne, the Russians make more sense to me since I have always had anger issues towards the Russians during the war in this life and feel like I have unresolved issues regarding them. They come up in regards to my last days in Berlin during regression quite a bit. I don't really put too much in stock when it comes to dreams, but I do feel like this dream has a lot of elements from my past life, but may not be entirely accurate.


Geevikram, thank you for reading my posts. I remember desperately wanting something more in my life around the time of the rise of the Nazi party. There was of course a bad climate in Germany after WW1 and for me and a lot of veterans it didn't feel too great. When the Nazi party came around it seemed like the best thing to happen in a long time. My life and job were pretty mundane so I thought joining the party would be a great opportunity and a lot of other people thought so too.


I have no direct memories of Jewish people or the camps and I have to be blunt when I say that I think it was really a non-issue for me. It was something that was not even on my radar as I really only cared what was happening with Germany and was really involved in rebuilding the country and being involved in the party. I would venture a guess that no one really blinked an eye if a couple families in their area decided to move away. I think I must have helped with any sort of deportations though that were happening later on and we probably thought people were being sent back to their home countries or internment camps. At the time, it wasn't really a big deal to us that "undesirables" were being sent out of the country. We had a lot of nationalistic and cultural pride and wanted to be homogeneous. There was also a lot of ethnocentrism going on.


The majority of people would not have been okay with extreme or violent methods and I feel like the whole thing must have been very routine, which is probably where movies and such get it wrong. I think many Germans took a hands-off approach but would have been pretty appalled if they saw someone getting beaten up on the street or even killed. That just wasn't our method no matter how bad the movies make us seem. I think 99% of people didn't know where these families were being sent, most just assumed back to home countries or elsewhere. During the war years people had a lot more to worry about than this issue.


Like I said, I have no direct memories of this so I am only basing this off of gut feelings. But I'll be frank in saying that I see a lot of the same things happening in America today with the extreme patriotism, ethnocentrism, etc.


I also believe that committing suicide makes it so you cannot progress spiritually and you will not learn what you need to learn in that life, which is unfortunate. Hopefully I am making up for that now.


Geevikram, I hope you will share you story with us here on this forum. I am interested in hearing more about you.
 
ZeonChar said:
we probably thought people were being sent back to their home countries or internment camps.
I remember something like that kind of belief in the early years!


In Vienna they were allowed to emigrate, also some going to "internment camps", but I found out by researching trying to validate this, those were actually some bad camps.
 
Berlin 1945


I had a dream of being in Berlin in the last days of the war. I was with a whole company of people who were all from the Hitler Youth and I remember feeling this was like a last line of defense type of thing. Everyone seemed to be wearing a Wehrmacht Heer uniform and everyone was very young. I felt like no one with me was a very experienced fighter but only had some basic training. It felt absolutely hopeless because we all knew we were going to die but there was no other option but to fight. You couldn't run because there was no where to go to, you could only fight and die. That was the worst feeling ever; I can't even begin to explain it. We were holed up in defensive positions at some large building and near some wall of the city. The Russians were extremely close and we were just waiting for them to attack. I looked up in the sky and saw stuff being dropped and we all assumed we were going to be bombed. The sky quickly became thick with large objects and we were just waiting for them all to fall on us and my hopes began to drain as more and more of them littered the sky. At some point we realized they weren't dropping bombs, but large leaflets urging us to surrender. After we read the leaflets we decided to go on the offensive instead. The Russians were just past a field and we began to gear up and to get ready to move out. I made sure I had a lot of ammo on me and I remember even finding a magazine of Soviet ammo which I took because I thought it could be useful if we captured one of their weapons. That's when the dream ended.
 
A Jewish Family


There was a Jewish family who lived in my neighborhood. The father owned a clock shop (named after their family name) with large grandfather clocks as well as smaller clocks. The mother stayed at home as a housewife with their two daughters. The oldest (Hanna?) was maybe about 20 or 21 with brown hair and brown eyes. She was always really quiet and shy and wore her hair in two pigtails. The youngest girl was maybe 8 or 9.


I used to see the father a lot in the neighborhood as I passed by and we would stop and chat for a bit. Sometimes he would be out front unloading crates in front of his store or sawing pieces of wood for the clocks. He introduced me to his girls and his wife and I may have bought a clock from him. When I went into his shop he had a Star of David hanging above the doorway in the back behind his counter leading into the back room and upstairs.


One day the father invited me to have dinner with his family and taste his wife's home cooking. I went over to their flat that night which was above the clock shop. It was small but quaint. The dining room was very small and a lamp hung over the dining room table. The daughter would glance at me shyly throughout the dinner as the family talked. They had a menorah on one of the shelves in the dining room.


After dinner the father asked me to have a cigar with him and I went down into the closed shop. He told me his daughter was in love with me and it would be an honor for him to have a man such as myself taking care of her. I'm not sure what I told him but I think I told him that I appreciated how he felt about me and that I would talk to his daughter myself.


The family wasn't very traditionally Jewish so he did not care if she married another Jew or not and he knew my family was Catholic, he just wanted a good man to take care of his daughter. They were like most of the German families living in the area, they just happened to have Judaism as their religion.


I walked with Hanna to the bank of the Rhein and we stood there and I told her that her father wanted me to marry her but I could not due to the laws of the time. I told her she was a sweet girl but that my position was very important to me. Words like that really felt meaningless and hollow to her I'm sure and I knew that I was really a coward for making excuses like that. Even though my job was extremely important to me, the truth was my inability to settle down. Normally I didn't have scruples when it came to women but I felt like I didn't want to dishonor her father and she was a very innocent girl that I did not want to take advantage of.


She had tears streaming down her face and fled into the night.


I saw her father on the streets after that and he was kind to me, but he looked disappointed and a bit sad.


The family didn't mind my SS uniform and I think Hannah was really enamored by it. Contrary to popular belief people didn't really look at us disparagingly on the streets or anything. It was just another way of dress that was common for the time and people were used to seeing it. At that time it didn't really mean anything to anyone. To them I was just another person. I think late in the war years it would start to have negative connotations.
 
Parade Preparations


I had a dream I was walking down the street in my uniform to an apartment somewhere in a city. There were a lot of people on the street and some of them looked at me as I walked past. This was sometime in the 30's and I remember seeing people of different nationalities and the city was really bustling. When I got to the apartment, I had to ring the bell to be let in. The apartment number was 120. Inside the apartment was a much older man with very light blonde hair. He was getting dressed in the same uniform that I was in and I could see his rank was SS-Oberführer or Standartenführer, which looks like oak leaves. I can only assume he was in charge of our regional division.


He wanted me to help him with one of the awards on the front of his uniform that was stuck. One of the pins he was wearing on the front of his tunic was going through to his undershirt. We had to open the tunic up to where he was wearing a white shirt on the very bottom layer and I pulled on the pin trying to get it loose and he yelled a little because it was pulling the hairs on his chest.


After that, we had to put on certain dress items on our uniform that we would not normally wear like a belt and harness type of thing that indicated we were taking part in a ceremony. He was fully decked out with a dagger hanging from his belt on a silver chain and that buckle in the middle shone so immaculately I was really impressed at the sharpness of his uniform. I remember he stood a bit taller than I did when I was helping him with the pin on the front of his tunic. I didn't walk to his apartment with the dress items, he already had two sets of dress items there waiting for me and we put them on.


There was another person there with us too because I remember seeing another man who wasn't wearing any rank on his collar who was much younger. Perhaps an assistant of some kind? The dream ended there and I never did get to see us go to the ceremony, but the tall blonde older man really stood out in my mind.
 
Sounds like you weren't really in love with the Jewish girl? One of the first memories I had from my life back then was falling head over heels in love with an Eastern European worker in the camp I served at and feeling those laws were bugging me endlessly because it was obvious that under no circumstances we could ever have a future together. I believe that was the first impulse for me to start doubting the whole thing altogether, although the doubt did not fructify until much later.
 
No, I wasn't in love with her. She was also too young and innocent for me. But who's to say it never could have turned into more if things hadn't been the way they were?
 
Crazy Dream


I had a really crazy dream last night that I will add here. I don't know if it 100% a past life dream since dreams can be tricky in that regard, but I won't discount it as being a possible memory.


I met up with a German Waffen-SS unit and a Heer unit who were about to engage the Russians and I had lost my weapon so the commander of the Waffen-SS unit gave me his personal pistol to use. Joachim Peiper was there with a command of men and withdrew them at the very last minute before we were supposed to engage so me and another officer end up calling him "Peiper the Coward" for leaving us high and dry. We were vastly outnumbered but ended up defeating the enemy anyway. At the end of a battle a small group of men came forward to surrender, they had been late to the battle but we had completely decimated their whole company and they didn't seem to be in the mood to fight. I remember laughing at them and saying to one of them in German as I passed by, "Zu spät" and then "Entschuldigung!"


After the battle we broke for a camp in a nearby village further behind the lines where we set up the HQ. I ended up going off with the other officer I previously mentioned (probably the second in command) and we ended up in an abandoned house after walking through some buildings like a warehouse in the town. I remember feeling extremely dirty and just so tired and wanting to feel clean again. My clothes felt crusty and I was caked with dirt and my whole uniform looked in shambles. That feeling walking through the warehouse after the battle still lingers in my mind because it felt so odd to be feeling that inside of a dream.


The second in command and I as well as another man started bullshitting about home and women. The other two were talking about the women they wanted to date back at home and how they couldn't wait to get back. I remember saying something like women were too expensive to take care of and how dates became costly. I remember emphasizing that a good meal at a restaurant cost at least 4 Reichsmarks and I certainly didn't make enough to keep that up all the time. Laughing and talking about trivial matters seemed to get our minds off of the war, if only for a little while.
 
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