GalaxyDreamer, I get the impression that your worry is perhaps making you try too hard, and causing you unhappiness. So I hope you won't mind if I add a few of my own observations in the hope it might help ... I'm sorry the difficult things in society are making you feel like escaping. I can identify with that! But maybe it's not the right time for you to achieve on the grand scale? Or to be a courageous leader and change the world? Sometimes it's enough just to live as fair a life as you can with what's been given you, and let the future worry about itself. Sometimes it's enough to be kind to the people around you, and who knows what small acts of kindness can lead to? We don't always see the results of these small things, but they can perhaps make a huge difference to another person's life. We live in difficult times and it's easy to despair, particularly with the political shenanigans and lies that surround us. But not all of us can change the world in a significant way, and maybe it isn't possible for such change to be seen even within a lifetime. But we can all play a part, however small. If it's your personal role to be a leader, I think it'll suggest itself at the right time, and also equip you for it if and when that comes. Meanwhile, don't be too hard on yourself, you don't have to do too much too soon. Look for the good things in life, however simple. I know that's a bit of a cliché, but it does help. I hope you can soon find a direction and purpose in your own life that will inspire you and give you peace of mind. Once you know what that is, go for it. Wishing you all the best!