Is my son remembering being in a war? Can I help him through this?

[Lissarae]

My son is just about to turn four. His entire life we've called him an "old soul" as he's been seemingly wise beyond his years, acts very much like an adult (and prefers the company of adults), and somehow knows things that he just, well, shouldn't. He has been working with farming equipment since he was two years old, and can explain in layman's terms the inner-workings of an engine - something I certainly don't understand. I was very much the same way as a child (the old soul part, not so much the farming equipment ), so I just chalked it up to genetics until about a month ago.

Joshua started having nightmares. He told me that he was it was hot and dark and there were bombs and a lot of smoke. He became somewhat withdrawn, and didn't want to talk about it. I dropped it, didn't push him, and figured it would pass.

A few weeks ago he was getting dressed in his room, (standard every day attire for him, at his insistence, is camo pants and a white T-shirt and boots), and he put costume-jewelry dog-tags from last Halloween around his neck. Very excited, he came to me and said, "Mommy! This is just like what I used to wear in the war!" Then, almost nonchalanly, he took it from around his neck and tucked it into his left boot. I asked him why he was doing so. His reply was: "If my head gets blown off, this is how they'll be able to ID my body." To say I was speechless is an understatement. I didn't ask him any questions, I didn't want to push him or lead him in any way. He started talking about how he had been shot in the back (he pointed to the spot, and it's directly on one of his three birthmarks).

His nightmares were continuing, but he was more willing to describe them - "It was so hot, and the bombs were going off. We couldn't sleep... we were never safe..." At a relatives house one night, he went to use the bathroom. He called me in, his voice a bit panicked. "Mom! Is that shower curtain supposed to look like bamboo?" It did have a bamboo pattern on it. I acknowledged as much. I asked him why he was asking. "It reminds me of the jungle. I don't like it!"

Not all of his memories are scary, mind you. We were in my parents basement two weeks ago and he discovered a childs guitar that used to belong to my brother. He exclaimed, "Oh man, I haven't picked up a guitar in years!" (An outlandish statement considering the fact that he had never seen a guitar in real life - or at all, to my knowledge - never the less held one!) He picked it up, sat down, placed it on his lap, and held down a chord! (I actually have this on video - obviously not the first moment, which caught me off guard, but about five minutes later, after I made a mad dash for my camera!)

He has made a lot of statements in the past that have caught myself and friends and family off-guard... for instance: My cousin was in a car accident. She stopped over the house a few days after and she was talking about the girl who had hit her. Joshua said, very matter-of-fact "yeah, in that stupid Jeep of hers" almost out of ear-shot. Well it stopped my cousin mid-sentence. Unbeknownst even to me, the girl had indeed been driving a Jeep - there was simply no way for him to know that. I could go on about a million other things he has said and done that simply don't make sense... I don't know what, if anything, they have to do with past lives.

What concerns me right now is what he seems to be going through - it's almost as if he's suffering through some sort of - ugh this is going to sound nuts... post-trauma? Nightmares, night-sweats, anxiety, depression - and he's just a little boy. I want to help him but I just don't know how. All I can think to do is let him talk about it as much or as little as he wants/needs. Is there anything else I can do?? Any help/advice would be very much appreciated.

 

[Kristopher]

Hello Lissarae, welcome to the forum.


It does indeed sound like your son is recalling past life memories. Of course, from a skeptical point of view, it isn't easy to verify this unless he's managed to give you the likes of full names. Still some interesting things your son has said though.

it's almost as if he's suffering through some sort of - ugh this is going to sound nuts... post-trauma? Nightmares, night-sweats, anxiety, depression - and he's just a little boy. I want to help him but I just don't know how. All I can think to do is let him talk about it as much or as little as he wants/needs. Is there anything else I can do?? Any help/advice would be very much appreciated.

There really isn't a lot you can do. Don't feel bad about it. If he is four years old just now then it wont be too long until he starts to forget all of the memories. Children usually forget past lives from around the age of 6.:thumbsup:


I hope you keep us updated with anything else your son says that seems unusual!

 

[Nightrain]

What concerns me right now is what he seems to be going through - it's almost as if he's suffering through some sort of - ugh this is going to sound nuts... post-trauma?

Hi Lissarae! And, welcome to the Forum!


As Kris said, it sounds as though your suspicions of Past Life trauma are correct. Of course, one's first assumption is that he is talking about Vietnam, although I never heard of putting dog tags into one's boot, because stepping on anti-personnel mines was more likely than any getting one's head blown off. But, memories like this—however true they might be—are often not totally accurate, because those memories can be quite scrambled at times.


I would not be concerned that your son is suffering in any way, because re-visiting such memories can actually have a therapeutic effect. If you read any books by Dr. Brian Weiss, you'll discover that his success with patients has been based on their regression to Past Life traumas. In fact, I would theorize that your son's memories and nightmares are Nature's way of allowing him to grow comfortable with his subconscious memories so that he can move on in this life.


You may be interested in reading "Soul Survivor" by the Leiningers, who detail a similar experience to yours in which their son remembered being a fighter pilot in the Pacific during WWII.


I would ask you if there have been any members of your family who died in Vietnam, because it is very often the case that deceased relatives choose to return to their own families. Have you read, "Return From Heaven" by Carol Bowman, yet? She writes eloquently about this phenomenon. She also offers valuable advice on how to respond to those rare instances when children speak of possible Past Life memories. The most important of these suggestions is to keep an accurate journal of everything—no matter how mundane or seemingly unimportant.


Your situation is of utmost importance to us, and we sincerely hope that you will keep us informed of any developments. We stand ready to help you in any way possible.

 

[Shiftkitty]

I'd heard of it. Apparently it's not policy but tradition in some units:


http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/showthread.php?t=75575


I think they were doing it even as far back as WW2. Don't know about WW1. First time I'd heard of it was from my dad, WW2 Navy vet. He'd seen them put a tag in each boot. He'd been piloting an LST, eager to get him a few Japanese kills (and learning very quickly that Hollywood had lied and the typical Japanese soldier was anything but a coward!), and when a Marine explained it to him in colorful terms, he started doing the same thing.

 

[Lady2]

Welcome to the forum Lissarae!


It sounds strongly like your son is remembering a past life. In my opinion the best thing you can do for him right now is LISTEN, let your son know you are completely ok with him talking about these memories surfacing. If he thinks it worries you, he will only make him worry. Get a journal, write and date everything he says - over time you may see a pattern emerge, or he may bring the same memory up more then once, etc.


You are doing the right thing by not trying to 'lead him' when he remembers something. When he brings his PL up on his own, hear him out and then ask basic open ended questions, and he may answer one or two before changing the subject.


Nightrain has already recommended some really good books for you, I suggest you read them all - it will help you understand and realize you are not alone here. The Leiningers son was about your son's age, and Carol Bowman's book gives examples of what her children went through - her son remembered the Civil War at a young age.


Please keep us updated on what he contenues to share with you! :thumbsup:

 

[Lissarae]

Thank you all for your responses. I haven't read any books on the subject of past lives before, in fact up until now I hadn't really even thought much about it. Obviously I'm open to the idea, and given what my son is experiencing and talking to me about, I certainly can't discount it!

I would not be concerned that your son is suffering in any way, because re-visiting such memories can actually have a therapeutic effect. If you read any books by Dr. Brian Weiss, you'll discover that his success with patients has been based on their regression to Past Life traumas. In fact, I would theorize that your son's memories and nightmares are Nature's way of allowing him to grow comfortable with his subconscious memories so that he can move on in this life.
I would ask you if there have been any members of your family who died in Vietnam, because it is very often the case that deceased relatives choose to return to their own families.

I feel relieved that it's felt that re-visiting memories can be therapeutic, and not traumatic. That was my biggest concern! I'm going to start picking up some books, and certainly books by Dr. Brian Weiss will be on the list, as well as, of course, "Return From Heaven" by Carol Bowman. I find it intriguing to think that a soul could return to a family... although alas in my case I would have no way of knowing. My mother is adopted, and I've never met my father. I didn't know my son's father (he was conceived... let's just say rather violently) so I don't know any of our family history.

I'd heard of it. Apparently it's not policy but tradition in some units:
http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/showthread.php?t=75575


I think they were doing it even as far back as WW2. Don't know about WW1. First time I'd heard of it was from my dad, WW2 Navy vet. He'd seen them put a tag in each boot. He'd been piloting an LST, eager to get him a few Japanese kills (and learning very quickly that Hollywood had lied and the typical Japanese soldier was anything but a coward!), and when a Marine explained it to him in colorful terms, he started doing the same thing.

Wow... Thank you for posting that! I had no idea that they actually placed them in their boots - what an interesting detail!

It sounds strongly like your son is remembering a past life. In my opinion the best thing you can do for him right now is LISTEN, let your son know you are completely ok with him talking about these memories surfacing. If he thinks it worries you, he will only make him worry. Get a journal, write and date everything he says - over time you may see a pattern emerge, or he may bring the same memory up more then once, etc.
Nightrain has already recommended some really good books for you, I suggest you read them all - it will help you understand and realize you are not alone here.

Thank you for the welcome, and for the advice! I feel a lot better knowing that even though I felt completely lost and had no idea what to do, perhaps I didn't make it worse! I will definitely be aquiring some new reading material recommended by Nightrain, and I've started keeping a journal of everything my son says and does, as recommended by several of you. I will continue to just listen, as I have been, and let him talk about it as much or as little as he wants to, and just see what comes of it. As was mentioned above, perhaps a pattern will emerge, (it will certainly be interesting), and most importantly to me, hopefully going through this will be therapeutic for my son! I will definitley post again, and I truly appreciate all of your input and advice. Thank you!

 

[deborah]

Welcome lissarae,


I would suggest you contact Carol since you are concerned about the traumatic aspect of his memories. I will let her know about your post but you are more than welcome to contact her directly.

 

[Mama2HRB]

Hello and welcome lissarae,


I do agree that talking to Carol may be of great help to you. I would also suggest that you allow your son to draw as much as he wishes, you may learn things from his drawings.


I also feel that there is a reason each child is born to each parent, and no doubt you were chosen to guard this little soul and help him with his memories.


{{Hugs}}

 

[Carol]

Lissarae,


Please read Children's Past Lives ASAP. In the book I talk about children recalling traumatic deaths--many in battle, as your son seems to be describing. Don't be afraid to let your son talk about his memories. Apparently, he needs to talk about them. In the book I give suggestions on how to talk about past life trauma with a young child, so they can let go of the memory and move on in their present life. Sometimes they just need to talk it through and know that they are now safe, that what they experienced is over. It's very much like post traumatic stress disorder--it's just from another life.


If you need some guidance after reading the book, let us know.

 

[mdr29]

I haven't read through all the replies so i don't know if anyone has mentioned this yet. But i was watching a Vietnam war movie two nights ago and there was a scene where they got angry because one of the soldiers heads got blown off and they were not able to identify him because he didn't have the tag around his foot like he was supposed to.

 

[Totoro]

I was going to mention myself that in the early 80s I remember boys at my school talking about putting dog tags in boots.

 

[Patricksmommy]

To lissarae


i feel for you, after reading your post about your son, although i may be a little late to the conversation, i wanted to tell you my expirience with my son, who did almost the same things. not so vividly or extremely, though. but he always talked about being a soldier when he was younger, up until the age of around 4. He just turned 7. but when he was younger, he would tell me the same strange things, but his language wasn't as developed so i would ask him questions to get a better idea. but he was deathly afraid of fireworks, still is. when he was a little guy like 2, he would cry and go into complete panics. i think it was because it sounds like war. but he had a birthmark as well, on the inside of his groin going down his thigh. he never said it was where he got shot, but as his mother, i just intuitively knew that was what happened to him. i dont have any other real proof, besides the things he said and how i felt being a mother, i mean- as a mom there's definitely unspoken communication between yourself and your child.


but what i wanted to say is - my son doesn't remember any of that anymore. give your son time to get a little older, he will graduate into this life and forget. its just because he is so fresh and new here, he doesn't have a lot of memories from this life, yet. i would tell my son, "that was your old life. its over. now you have a new life, and i am your mommy and you are safe." the night terrors and fears - everything stopped. you don't have to be afraid or concerned, all you have to do is make him feel safe, and realize this is his life,now. he has new things to learn, and you - as his mother - will do the best job you can to help him.


hope this helps you-


Rachel

 

[Patricksmommy]

i dont think investigating it, and continually talking about it, to bring up the memories helps, at all. i dont believe drawing it, and all that, i think you are just snowballing his old memories. to where he may repeat his old life, and whatever lesson he had to learn then. i mean, we are all new now. i think continually telling him that message, that its over and that he is safe, is the best. my son is very happy, his teachers tell me he is the sweetest happiest kid in the class. his old anxieties are gone, and he has a new beginning to learn something new on this planet of earth school.