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My friend X

I saw X yesterday. We had a c0ffee and a chat (about climate change and nanotechnology, as you do). It was nice. I felt very happy to see him. It's always like a drink of water for a thirsty person somehow.


He is well. His shoulder is feeling much better (after his bicycle mishap) although he has had a bit of the flu. All in general is well in the world of X, although his renovations have been somewhat delayed because he hurt his shoulder and so on....


I realised recently that I have stopped dreaming about him. For the first time in many, many years. This is quite a remarkable change.


I don't know which is stranger. That I have stopped dreaming about him, or that I just realised?
 
I am glad for you Tanguerra---- change is alot more of a difficult thing than I ever appreciated when I was young and idealistic.. Unsure of myself , neive and proud I was often expecting change in others rather than looking to my own responsibilities. If only we recognised more the work taken in the spiritual pursuits of people rather than the tabloid type , I feel the world might slow and be a more pleasantly mellow place..


Congratulations on your work done .. soulfreindly
 
Thank you Soulfriendly. I still feel exactly the same way about him as I always have (simple love) but without all the 'suffering' that has usually attended this feeling.


Love without desire. It's a good thing.
 
I found out! I know what happened! X popped over for a bit of a gossip, which he does weekly or so ... ( which is lovely!)... :)


As I predicted, in his own good time, this evening while we were talking about something or other, X told me quite spontaneously, the story of his great grandfather the 'black sheep of the family who ran off to sea' ... He drowned on the Lusitania in 1879 on the way from England to Australia.


X did not know his first name, only his last, but he was apparently a somewhat dissolute and gambling man in his middle age ('aged in his 40s' said X) when he drowned. His widow and two children survived the disaster (women and children first!) and although they were left very poor in the wake of the disaster, they were befriended by the respectable side of X's rather long and illustrious family and one of the children was his grand mother back in England.... He told me the whole story. It's quite interesting. I said nothing, other than to nod and say 'Oh really, how interesting.....". while all the time comparing the dates. If he died in 1879 aged 40 he would have been just about the right age back then...His name was John, not Nicholas - so I could be wrong about the name, or it's not him... but it's interesting anyway.
 
Hii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Good to see ya Tanguerra!!! Wow how exciting that X at last spilled his beans about his great grandfather!! :D
 
Yes, it is interesting, but I doubt this man was my 'Nicholas' on further consideration. For one thing, I remember him as having been from a wealthy family, where this man was not as far as I can tell. He was just 'some guy' from Liverpool. He was born in 1878 - I checked the dates. I had them wrong before - there are records of the people who drowned. So perhaps that was a bit too late for what I am remembering? It would have been the 1900s by the time he was in his 20s and that seems too late. I would have put this memory at least 30 or 40 years earlier than that, judging by the clothes and things.


It was his daughter who married into X's long and illustrious family some time after the Lusitania went down in 1915 during WWI and that was when X's branch of the family had settled in South Australia. So it probably wasn't him. Still, it was interesting to find out about it all. I told you he'd tell me in his own good time when I was least expecting it. :)


I still very seldom dream of X nowadays and am more inclined to dream of George Clooney. I don't quite know what to make of that or what it might portend (nothing of any deep significance probably) - but they're always good dreams anyway! Hmmmm..
 
[i went away for about 9 months for a 'working holiday' to live and work on a resort on a tropical island off Queensland .. as one does (yes really)]


I dreamed of X last night. We were sitting together, holding hands talking and smiling ... then walking around an art gallery looking at the pictures and talking and laughing... he said something funny but I don't remember what it was... something very clever at the time....


Although we are physically 2,000 miles or more away from each other at the moment it's the same as far as I'm concerned. We're always smiling, always holding hands, and talking with our heads together, understanding each other like nobody else... always 'in love' whatever that means...it's love anyway. It never goes away. He is my twin soul, whatever that entails.
 
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It is lovely to be back in my home town after my travels, not least because I get to see X again on a regular basis, and catch up a few times a week or so and not just via email or whatever. I just feel happy to be around him and it is a delightful and very comforting feeling to sit by him and chat about 'stuff'. We always have a laugh and enjoy each other's company and tend to hang out in the same circle and like the same things and so on. It's like slipping into a comfortable (but fabulous) pair of old (suede) boots.


We were out the other night and he was telling someone about his various name changes over the years (there have been a couple...long story...). I had always assumed that 'Nicholas' was one of the middle names that he was christened with, but apparently it isn't officially. This was new information for me. Apparently it is a name he adopted in his teens and started to use instead of his official first name (which he never really liked) about age 14 or 15 or so. This would have been about the same time I started drawing pictures of him (we are the same age) before I had ever met him...
 
So, I've been back in civilization for a few months now. I haven't been writing in here much, as I've been busy 'saving the world', helping out with the local Greens election campaign. X has also been helping out. It's a nice thing to do together. :)

Mostly our friendship just goes on, although it sometimes seems to deepen. He phones me when he's upset about something, or needs reassurance, or just if I haven't seen him for a while to say 'hi'. It's sweet. It's nice.

There's only been two past life memory incidents of note, apart from the usual little deja vu moments when he makes certain gestures, but I'm used to those.

One was when I was at the regular Friday night film night we usually go to and he came in with one of his ex-girlfriends (not Y, just 'some girl', nice enough, nothing special. Let's call her K.). Anyway, instead of coming over to me, giving me a kiss on the cheek and sitting down on my right side (which is his good ear) and starting to natter away about 'whatever' he went up to the bar, bought her a drink, went and sat with her and started nattering away to her! Ignoring me but for a little wave at one point. Hmmph! Knowing him as I do, this was not a deliberate snub, just that he was being polite to his ex-girlfriend, and of course is perfectly reasonable behaviour.

It was kind of interesting to observe my own emotions which came suddenly fizzing up in my blood like lemonade though. Suddenly I came over all 'Poland' and felt a rush of blood to my cheeks. I cast my mind back to watching X at an event in Poland dancing with her husband. I felt exactly the same fizz of jealousy and I felt exactly the same way about the husband as I felt about K. Nice enough, nothing special...but what does he see in her compared with me? I really wasn't interested in the husband either, only in that she/he was in the way between X and me. It was very weird to remember having all those very arrogant, selfish and bitter thoughts. Of course I was younger then, and a hot headed and aggressive young man and now I am so much wiser of course, knowing where it all led... Then the moment passed and I 'snapped out of it'.

It occurred to me with some horror though, what sort of a person I would have had to have been back then to kill such a person over such a thing! Heaven knows, I would never dream of even being less than perfectly charming to K, who is nice enough after all, and I do whenever I meet her. She's really rather sweet.

Later in the evening, K left anyway and X came over to me and sat on his good side and we chatted amiably as we always do and I felt an explosion of love in my heart for him like fireworks going off in my chest. Quite dizzying.

 
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The other occasion, we were sitting in a cafe with some people and the background music played 'A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square' which is a very romantic song from WWII.

It might even have been this version of it (then and now) Glenn Miller's orchestra:


Anyway, X doesn't usually like 'old timey' music like that but he knows I do and looked over and smiled at me very sweetly, as if to say 'that's a pretty enough tune'.

But there was a moment when our eyes met at that moment that I remembered dancing with him to this tune in London. I could remember the rough feeling of his uniform on my cheek. It was just a flash. It was a sad memory. Maybe it was the last time we danced together that life? I have a feeling it might have been.

The Blitz: http://www.reincarnationforum.com/threads/the-blitz.1241/
 
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Hi Tanguerra! Glad to have you back, and hope things went well with the "Green" thing.


I must congratulate you for sitting so serenely upon a mountain full of potential emotion, and I admire your repose.
 
Thanks NightTrain! I'm kind of used to it now with X! But, it is very helpful to have been able to bring these past life memories up in detail into my present life memory. When I have some strong emotion or other in regard to X, it is often related to one of these prior experiences and not to do with 'us' 'now'. Us now is really very serene and (relatively) normal which is an excellent state of affairs.


I imagine many people might experience a sudden churn of emotion, like an upward rush of irrational jealously, or sudden moment of melancholy nostalgia and not know where it comes from. Therefore it might feel like a 'volcano' to them, because it seems to come out of nowhere. For me it's more like looking back over a scrapbook and remembering the feelings from a bit of a remove, because that was then and this is now.
 
Life and Meaning


I am here rereading your posts about X and reflecting on our interactions concerning my experiences, wondering about meaning. Is there meaning to it all. (What is meaning anyway?) Wiser people than I have said life has no meaning, more positively stated the meaning of life is the experience of living.


My experiences present and past with Min have led me to a conclusion that we must learn to allow compassion to overcome passion. Love is something more than what we feel curled up in another's arms. The experience of loving another person is an ordeal. Loving the "soul mate" can be the greatest ordeal of all. However, the experience can teach us so much.


The past histories of this entity tell me how elusive my soul mate, my friend and teacher can be. Usually a great tragedy ensues from the relationship. It is something we are trying to avoid in this life, I am happy to say thus far. But, we both have realized this that being together is much too harmful to ourselves and to many around us. This realization, the experience we now have is teaching us something about compassion towards each other and the important people in our lives.


I don't think that I am clear here, my friend. But, this life's experience will teach you much. Your soul mate, whether it is seen clearly now, always has your best interest in heart. You are here to experience, learn and grow. You are here to help him/her experience, learn and grow. Love sometimes holds tightly, love sometimes pushes away. If we love our soul's mate we must be open to both possibilities.


Remember this one life is brief. Our life, our essence is eternal.


I'm getting too deep. I'll stop now.
 
Thank you for sharing. I have a friend who I have always had a connection with as well, though miles apart, we can still talk for hours about anything and everything, because as far back as high school, we have always enjoyed trying to figure out how each others' minds work. We have a lot of similar interests, yet this has never made either one of us uncomfortable or caused us to become rivals.


I have a feeling that possibly, we were not related in another life, but possibly worked, studied or enjoyed researching things together. She remembered something we had chatted about many years ago only moments before I got back in touch with her, which is another startling way we are similar, this week I have had a series of seemingly small and insignificant things that have each came to pass within two days time. I get a bit spooked by it sometimes since the dreams are very indirect, but lately minor details have been jumping out at me.
 
Hi unicorn2011.


Welcome to the forum. Yes, it's an unmistakable feeling when you just 'know' someone very well in that way. Having known each other before makes the most sense to me as an explanation for it. Some people call this 'soul mates' but there does not have to be a romantic aspect to it necessarily.


The 'deja vu' can feel a bit 'spooky' sometimes, but in a nice way mostly. What sort of things are these 'small insignificant' things that you mention?
 
Dear, Tanguerra


Thank you so very much for sharing your post about "Friend X" I also have a friend "X" I know that we have shared a past life together, in fact it dawned on me many years ago that we have shared many lives together.


As I have gotten older and become more in-tuned, I know when I have crossed paths with someone I have shared a past life with. With my "Friend X" I don't know how many lives we have had together, however what I do feel is that in our last life I left. I don't know if I died or I left. But I do know I wasn't there. I know we shared kids together. I know we shared a great life together, but I'm recalling this last life I died, and he began drinking and became an alcoholic. And in this life this was something he used to do, and I was always afraid for him.


Even though I have had a few relationships and I have mentioned to him he has never had any serious relationships,


that he has mentioned.


I would just like to resolve this in this life time
 
Thanks LoisLane. I guess everyone just has to follow their heart in the long run. Things have a way of resolving themselves in time.
 
Hi everyone. Just thought I'd pop in and let you all know I've finally got my book ready for internet publishing. I've talked about it often enough over the past few years, but I made a big push this week and got it happening. If anyone's interested, you can view it here. It's not about reincarnation exactly, but more a compilation of everything I've learned about 'love' - so it's kind of the same thing.


http://how-to-find-love.com/
 
Thanks Nightrain. Dare I say it's been a 'labour of love'? X was the inspiration behind writing it. I was very deeply troubled by all that back when I started writing it. It helped me a lot to get my thoughts in order at the time. Since then people have kept encouraging me to do something with it, so finally.... here it is.

It is very satisfying to see the (very nearly) finished product!

[If anyone wants to know about the book PM me]
 
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Thanks for sharing the link Tanguerra. Good luck with the book, and I'll have a look when I've got a minute :)
 
Great job Tanguerra!! A friend of mine recently published a book you might find interesting... it's called The Wisdom of a Broken Heart, by Susan Piver, she is working it out too!


I love the music video at the end, I'm going to look her up.


Always... always! great to hear from you!


Tman
 
Congratulations tanguerra! I hope all of your hard work pays of, and your book is a huge success! hug2.gif
 
I saw the film 'Orlando' the other evening. I saw it when it first came out (in 1992) and it made a vivid impression on me at the time. At that time I didn't talk about reincarnation - or think about it all that much even, as I was a young mother and had very little time to think about anything anyway! But I went and saw this movie at the cinema, with my sister I think, back when we were still speaking (BX).

I'd read the book in High School and had very much identified with the androgyny of Orlando and also with his/her frustration about the narrowness of gender roles in various social settings, considered the unfairness of the female social position and such things in my teens - I grew up in the 1970s and such things were very much in the air at the time of course, but also, there's my own special 'condition'.


What struck me most of course in the movie was the 'love story' with Sasha / Shelmadine / the child - the same person again and again over the centuries - but different, while Orlando remained the same.


Anyway, I saw it again the other night and it blew me away all over again. The final scene especially where Orlando has 'become' a full person - neither male nor female, with the child to love and care for, while she runs about carefree as Orlando sits and thinks an angel (that both mother and child can see) sings overhead. The sorrows of old days well in the past, the future bright. This is 'love' as it should be. Love well earned, not some silly fairy frost romantic comedy about boy meets girl...


I'm trying to think of a suitable 'blog' post to talk about all these feelings about love and eternity and so on, without using the 'r' word. It's hard enough to articulate it here, even to you guys. Hmmm. I shall have to ponder it further obviously.


Here is a wonderful YouTube clip that says what I'm trying to put into words (but can't at the moment). Sometimes music and images speak the language of the soul that can't be put into words coherently.


The song (about 3 minutes in) is 'Coming' by Jimmy Somerville:


I am coming, I am coming, I am coming through
Coming across the divide to you
In this moment of unity feeling an ecstasy

To be here, to be now. At last I am free
Yes at last, at last to be free of the past
And the future that beckons me

I am coming! I am coming, here I am!
Neither a woman, nor a man
We are joined, we are one with the human face

I am on earth and I am in outer space
I'm being born and I am dying
I am coming, I am coming, I am coming through
Coming across the divide to you

Yes at last, at last, at last I'm free!
Yes at last, at last, at last I'm free!
 
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I had the most terrible disagreement with X about 15 months ago and we didn't speak a word the whole time since then (no mean feat when you live in the same 'village'). I won't bore you with the details, but it was a very big fight (about friendship, respect, loyalty and trust). 'Everyone' agreed that he'd behaved even more appallingly than usual and quite understood why I was so cross with him. I'm not saying it was all his fault, but....anyway...

We've made up now. Our friend D 'brokered' it for us. It's a great relief to everyone I assure you.

I have been terribly angry with him for the past year and I really thought I was finished with him (for good) and we would never speak to each other again (ever!).

But a little while ago, I heard a song on the radio and I read back over all this stuff and realised at least one of us was being very silly. Life is too short.

He came to my birthday party recently and we just slipped back into conversation like a pair of old slippers. There was slight tension at first. I said 'Have you got something to say to me?' (because D had told him I was very much expecting an apology). He said 'We're not in kindergarten. Let's just be bygones'.
I said, "Well, whatever. Life's too short."

Love. It's not all moonbeams and lollipops. But, it is eternal.

The Blitz: http://www.reincarnationforum.com/threads/the-blitz.1241/
 
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Thanks for the update tanguerra! I'm glad that you made things up with your friend. If he really hurt you that much, then it must be a friendship worth holding on to, and like you say, life IS too short to hold on to grudges!
 
I agree, this life is much too short to waste. Do you think your Karmic business can be resolved in this life, so you can experience more happiness in another? I ask this because I feel I am tying up all the "loose ends" that I can, before getting back on the Cosmic Carousel again. Perhaps, it's the "storm and thunder" that binds you and X together? Something in your original posts resonated with me. You mentioned watching endlessly from the cliffs for his ship to return. When my husband is even a little late, I wait by the window like a lost soul, willing him to appear. I think you have given me an "aha" moment. I am glad you and X are speaking again. Blessings!
 
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