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Parenting a more mature soul

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igotplans2

New Member
Hi,

This is my first time posting on the forum, which I found after reading two of Carol Bowman's books. I'm hoping to connect with other parents convinced that their child has not only reincarnated, but possesses greater wisdom, innate knowledge, artistic abilities, self awareness, maturity, and direction than the parent. My own daughter is now fourteen, but has always been viewed as an "old soul" by everyone in the family, and even by people unknown to us who spend a little time with her. It's not uncommon for people to say to her, "What do you want to be when you grow up? You seem like someone who'd make a great teacher." She has no interest in being a teacher, and remarked to me, "People are always saying that to me, even friends at school! Why are they saying that to me?!" She actually aspires to be a professional singer/pianist/actress/print model/novelist, and is a natural, already well on her way in all those areas.

I've documented many aspects of her life since infancy, but it's only now that I'm beginning to feel as though she's better equipped to parent and be an example to me than I am to her. It's a little disconcerting and baffling, but also fascinating to me. Now that she's reached such a critical stage of life, she needs and looks to me for guidance in many mundane things, but I've begun to feel a bit inept in other areas. She's a shy homebody, studious, very sweet, religious, and family oriented most of the time. But when it comes to her art, she's a fireball. Her drive and ambition, ability to juggle many things, and her early readiness for her desired career is SO far from my own personality, but I'm the one who's supposed to be guiding this ship (I'm a single mom now). I'm very proud and admiring of her, completely supportive of her, but I feel like I'm shrinking in her shadow. Am I here primarily to serve as a vessel, and then to provide basic needs to this soul who is clearly going to impact many people with her talents? I'm so confused. I know this was probably a bit disjointed, and I've left out a lot. I just want to find other moms who know what this is like. :confused:

BTW, I write a blog on many related topics paranatural and paranormal. thechocolateeclair.blogspot.com. I aspire to write more, but I'm mired in self doubt most of the time.
 
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Hi,


I, too, went through a similar situation with my daughter who has tremendous talents and is very connected metaphysically. It threw me in a tailspin.


The people on this site were incredibly helpful to me, helping me understand what she was going thru, especially since it was something way out of left field for me.


The best thing I can tell you is to love her, listen to her, guide her, and let her know you are there to support her. Sometimes it is just to listen to what she has to say.


The one mistake I made was not getting her involved in a church or other activities to keep her grounded and having lots of friends here in her hometown. She eventually got onto the internet, met a boy, dropped out of high school and left.


She now says (as he listens in on the phone of course) that what she used to say were lies. He does not believe, his family is of the Jehovah Witness faith. Of course, I have found proof of the things she has told me so I know that she is trying to make him think she believes as she does.


Good luck to you. The road is a difficult one. Very interesting and amazing but difficult.
 
Hi Igotplans2, welcome to the forum!


Unfortunately, I cant answer your question with any related experiences of my own. I can, however, give you my opinion about "old and new souls".


I don't think we will be able to tell who is an "old soul" or "new soul" by personality or anything we do during out incarnations. Dr Brain Weiss spoke of how highly advanced souls could be a typical homeless person with no ambition in life at all.


Although I do think that our personality remains the same with each life and in between lives, I don't think our level of intelligence, general talents and wisdom during incarnations will be the outcome of how advanced we are as souls.
 
Old; new


Hi, Kristopher!


Maybe I should clarify a bit. When I use the term "old soul," it's only in the way that most lay people generally do. I say it because that's the way other people described her. I do understand that highly advanced souls could be in any type of body, dependent on what they're here to learn or do in their present incarnation. I can't imagine that a typical homeless man has going through his mind in the present, "I know I'm going through this poverty thing for my personal growth and all, but I sure did like the body I had just before this one a lot better, and I didn't mind those concubines either." ^L^


I do have a question for you, about how you define "personality," which you say stays the same. I was thinking about that just the other day, trying to separate out and define for myself the differences (or lack thereof) between the soul, spirit, mind, personality, heart. I came to the conclusion that personality does NOT remain the same through all incarnations. What brought me to that conclusion was thinking about a couple of stories from the book on children reincarnated into their own immediate family. The mothers spoke about similarities that first alerted them to the fact that this might be their deceased child returned, but in all the chronicled cases the children's personalities became more and more unlike the other child as they grew up. About the time the children began to forget their past life, their own separate personality emerged. The mothers, in fact, after getting past their elation at having their child back, had to mentally and emotionally adjust to the fact that they had to regard and relate to the latter child as different and their "own person."
 
Hi Igotplans2! And a warm welcome to the Forum! Liked your blog, by the way!


Having been a parent, myself, it wasn't long after my sons were born that I tossed much of what I learned during college Sociology and Psychology classes into the garbage. "Tabula Rasa" my foot! Like your daughter, my boys came into the world not with a blank slate, but rather fully prepared for the modern world—and better prepared than their parents, who now feel as obsolete as inkwells and fountain pens. It's as if some of our kids attend classes on future technology, and they seem able to predict what social developments are around the corner with far more insight than we have any more.


Glad to have you with us, and hope you'll be willing to share more of your deep insights on this Forum.
 
igotplans2 said:
I do have a question for you, about how you define "personality," which you say stays the same.
Click to expand...
I don't necessarily believe that we will have every bit of detail of our current personality with us in future incarnations, I apologise for coming across that way. What I mean is that I don't think we can basically choose a personality. "I didn't like my personality in my last life, Im going to pick a completely different one next," I doubt that very much.


In each life we might have the same interests, enjoy the same foods, feel at home in the same type of environments. I think that all of our experiences in other lives make us who we are today. We could be very open with other people for many lives, then one life we are 'laughed at' by someone we open up to, then in other incarnations we might keep everything to ourselves and become a very personal person, if the event had such an impact on us, and that may last for several more life times.


I think you will find this interesting.
 
igotplans2 said:
Hi, I'm hoping to connect with other parents convinced that their child has not only reincarnated, but possesses greater wisdom, innate knowledge, artistic abilities, self awareness, maturity, and direction than the parent.
I've documented many aspects of her life since infancy, but it's only now that I'm beginning to feel as though she's better equipped to parent and be an example to me than I am to her. Her drive and ambition, ability to juggle many things, and her early readiness for her desired career is SO far from my own personality, but I'm the one who's supposed to be guiding this ship (I'm a single mom now). I'm very proud and admiring of her, completely supportive of her, but I feel like I'm shrinking in her shadow. Am I here primarily to serve as a vessel, and then to provide basic needs to this soul who is clearly going to impact many people with her talents? I'm so confused. I know this was probably a bit disjointed, and I've left out a lot. I just want to find other moms who know what this is like. :confused:
Click to expand...
I'm not a mom, but the above comments you wrote resonate extremely powerfully with me. My son fits the same mold you describe for your daughter.


I've mentioned elsewhere on this board how my interest in the afterlife and past lives rests in the connections we have to those in our lives. Through meditation and akashic readings I have found, like you suspect with your daughter, that my son is an incarnated advanced soul...a much more mature being than am I and it is a great priviledge to have the opportunity to both bring him into the world and to have the incarnate opportunity and connection to him that will enable continuous opportunity to learn and benefit by his intrinsic tutelage. I am not certain of the symbolism, but when I bring him up in meditation I see dolphins jumping. I have heard from guidance that he will incur no more than instant karma as he has no use for any longterm karmic balance...somehow a personal choice (and while I didn't quite understand all of it as it went by, the idea was that without karma one develops an imbalance that makes an incarnate existence impossible...another thread).


Everyone that meets him is amazed at his equanimity and ability to find common ground with all. Despite his smaller stature and youth (he is now eleven) he can initiate a conversation with anyone...and come to some aspect of meeting of the minds...and I get accolades for raising this child...and without hesitation I ensure they know he is raising me.


The only comment I would give you by way of advice as a parent of such a child is what I received when I asked how can I best enhance this child's life and be worthy of the apparent magic he will create while incarnate...and I was told that I need to care for him as I would any other child...to be the parent and teach him right from wrong...to love and cherish him as any child would want and need. I was chosen as his parent (as were you for your daughter) for my apparent ability to create the environment which would allow him to grow into all he has planned for this lifetime and provided I fulfill that role I am entitled to benefit from the presence of such an individual...the opportunity to have the closest incarnate connection to another human being (mine of course, less than yours...I didn't bear him). I was also told that some of his solutions to difficult issues will seem unintelligible to me and I should not belittle or attempt to force a change in his decision as he is learning to resolve these things more effectively and better than I would or could...look out for his safety and let him make his own few mistakes and love, love, love.


What a great thread and thank you so much for posting it...all we can do is love these children who will do nothing but enhance our lives.
 
To usetawuz


Your words just gave me goosebumps. There are so much synchronicity and resonance in the dialogue on this topic. You mentioned dolphins, and I've been meaning to look into the significance of dolphins for several days. I remember reading about it in two stories of a book by Dr. John Lerma, on the pre-death visions of children in his hospice setting (AMAZING book). After reading that book, I caught part of a documentary in which dolphins were mentioned, something having to do with their ability to communicate in a peculiar way that's unlike any other mammals. It struck me at the time I heard it that there has to be a connection I should investigate. So, I'm off to do just that before it slips my mind again. I'll report back. I have a feeling that what I find will be fascinating! $P$
 
The Dolphins!


Okay, what I found IS most exciting. First, what I'd heard the other day had to do with the therapeutic effect dolphins have on individuals who are blind. If you've not read the book "Into The Light" by John Lerma yet, you should definitely check it out. The first account in his book describes that of a nine-year-old boy named Matthew. Matthew was terminally ill and requested to be moved to a hospice setting, where Dr. Lerma cares for him and first becomes interested in the phenomena of pre-death visions and angelic visitations experienced by the dying in their final weeks, days, and hours. Matthew's become totally blind by the time he gets to hospice, and all his systems are failing, yet, he's alert and cheerfully interacting with all around him. He proceeds to take John Lerma through and incredible teaching journey. One of the highlights is his repeated reference to playing with and riding on dolphins, which seems to be what Matthew longs the most to do when he gets to the other side. I can't begin to do Matthew's story justice, but he's clearly among the most highly evolved souls. Apparently, a film about him is in the works now, and you can see a bit of the trailer on Dr. Lerma's website. From what you say about the messages you've received regarding your own son, I think you'll find this little boy particularly fascinating. :angel:


http://drjohnlerma.com/film.html
 
Apart from being an old soul, you daughter might be gifted, so I would suggest you to read things about that too. I would personally recommend this site http://www.stephanietolan.com/ . Your daughter doesn't have to do IQ test for you to figure out she is gifted (it's very well explained how you can find out by your own whether your child is gifted or not). Many parents who have gifted children note in them the same maturity and decisiveness you described. Being gifted doesn't exclude reincarnation, because if reincarnation exists it comes for everyone, gifted or not.
 
Thank you, Igotplans2...I will review the Dr's website this evening. I do not know why I only now found your response...


where have I been?
 
I think my son is still quite youthful as a soul, but he was also my brother. I definitely think being aware of such connections makes it harder to be a parent. So you have my understanding / sympathies.


Usetawuz has given the advice I would have given :thumbsup:
 
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