usetawuz
Senior Registered
I found myself in England and saw a darkened room and looked down on a stone sarcophagus. Upon it was the seemingly cast reclining figure of it's presumed occupant, a knight with beard and tunic, holding a broadsword by the haft with both hands over his chest as the blade draped over the center of his body with its point near his feet which were next to each other, a fact which seemed to have significance. I "heard" Sir John and he died in 1296 at age 46, not in battle. I then felt intense pressure within my stomach.
It was then that I got the negative sense of his missing so many opportunities in that lifetime, including opportunities to provide himself much deserved happiness...this sense of judgment is my signal that I am being critical of a former iteration and examining that life with 20-20 hindsight. The counter to the criticism soon flooded in and depicted a different and more reasonable situation. John was the oldest son of a very well connected and ambitious member of the king's inner circle, and thus, through primogeniture, was the sole heir to father's estate and honorific. Father had to get as much as he could of everything and by default John benefitted, so long as he performed as expected. John was very capable though shared none of father's ambition and search for power, but he knew his role. John studied with abbotts and became a very capable academician reading and writing in latin and greek and taking a deep interest in healing. At 18 he was taken to the royal court and met for the first time and married the daughter of a strategic companion of father's...a loveless marriage which bore several children, again proving John would satisfactorily fulfill his societal and familial obligations. Father died and John continued, honor bound, to maintain his duties to one and all, while his younger brothers lived their lives with happiness which was, for John, not one of the roles he felt he could fulfill.
One aspect of John's early training with the abbotts was the making of medicines and the setting of bones and the stitching of wounds...John used that skill in both the aftermath of battle as well as on his estate, a skill which brought him more happiness than he had experienced in any other endeavor. If his life choice had been left to him, he would have spent it in an effort to heal the physical ailments of all who suffered.
His next younger brother was his closest friend, a very happy and positive man and upon his tragic death, John became increasingly taciturn. While he was revered as a wonderfully compassionate man, and unstinting in his efforts to assist in helping others with his healing talents, he died suddenly of an appendicitis.
The death was a startlingly powerful sense of relief to the soul; the mantle of power was not one he gladly held or desired, thus it was a burden he bore...the practical matter was he was indeed the most capable among his brothers, so to abdicate it would only increase their difficulty, and risk father's wrath. Besides, God put him in that position and he was not one to question the will of God. He accepted that life, and in doing so found good in the healing of others.
My initial impression was that he never took the time to "smell the roses" or to leave his sense of duty long enough to realize the simple beauty surrounding him, but I saw a view through his eyes of a sun rising beyond a hill and it threw the trees along the ridge into stark contrast and each trunk, branch, limb and leaf was so clearly defined and the emotion was almost palpable. The quickly rising sun then highlighted the rolling fields and hedgerows and initiated a deep and calm sense of appreciation.
I awoke to the clock next to me glowing 3:43 am with a mixed sense of satisfaction and relief. I have yet to begin to research Sir John, an English knight and healer from the 13th century who died at 46...any directions and suggestions besides the standard google will be appreciated.
It was then that I got the negative sense of his missing so many opportunities in that lifetime, including opportunities to provide himself much deserved happiness...this sense of judgment is my signal that I am being critical of a former iteration and examining that life with 20-20 hindsight. The counter to the criticism soon flooded in and depicted a different and more reasonable situation. John was the oldest son of a very well connected and ambitious member of the king's inner circle, and thus, through primogeniture, was the sole heir to father's estate and honorific. Father had to get as much as he could of everything and by default John benefitted, so long as he performed as expected. John was very capable though shared none of father's ambition and search for power, but he knew his role. John studied with abbotts and became a very capable academician reading and writing in latin and greek and taking a deep interest in healing. At 18 he was taken to the royal court and met for the first time and married the daughter of a strategic companion of father's...a loveless marriage which bore several children, again proving John would satisfactorily fulfill his societal and familial obligations. Father died and John continued, honor bound, to maintain his duties to one and all, while his younger brothers lived their lives with happiness which was, for John, not one of the roles he felt he could fulfill.
One aspect of John's early training with the abbotts was the making of medicines and the setting of bones and the stitching of wounds...John used that skill in both the aftermath of battle as well as on his estate, a skill which brought him more happiness than he had experienced in any other endeavor. If his life choice had been left to him, he would have spent it in an effort to heal the physical ailments of all who suffered.
His next younger brother was his closest friend, a very happy and positive man and upon his tragic death, John became increasingly taciturn. While he was revered as a wonderfully compassionate man, and unstinting in his efforts to assist in helping others with his healing talents, he died suddenly of an appendicitis.
The death was a startlingly powerful sense of relief to the soul; the mantle of power was not one he gladly held or desired, thus it was a burden he bore...the practical matter was he was indeed the most capable among his brothers, so to abdicate it would only increase their difficulty, and risk father's wrath. Besides, God put him in that position and he was not one to question the will of God. He accepted that life, and in doing so found good in the healing of others.
My initial impression was that he never took the time to "smell the roses" or to leave his sense of duty long enough to realize the simple beauty surrounding him, but I saw a view through his eyes of a sun rising beyond a hill and it threw the trees along the ridge into stark contrast and each trunk, branch, limb and leaf was so clearly defined and the emotion was almost palpable. The quickly rising sun then highlighted the rolling fields and hedgerows and initiated a deep and calm sense of appreciation.
I awoke to the clock next to me glowing 3:43 am with a mixed sense of satisfaction and relief. I have yet to begin to research Sir John, an English knight and healer from the 13th century who died at 46...any directions and suggestions besides the standard google will be appreciated.
I found only sir Jonhs' died in 1296 but in different age than usetawuz said. If it was in the internet he propably would find it first.
