Not sure where you live exactly, but I find a lot of comfort in looking at non-modern and non-western cultures when I find myself sucked into the doubt whirlpool. I've spent a lot of time in the Amazon with indigenous groups thoroughly invested in a shamanic worldview, and I've lived in the so-called Holy Land, where for many people the relationship with God is the MOST important relationship, full stop -- which is the complete opposite of the culture I grew up in! I remind myself about the history of the European enlightenment, the process of how "rationality" took over the western mind -- merely a product of cultural conditioning, not an ultimate truth, and one that hasn't even existed very long. The non-spiritual worldview is a BABY of a concept on the grand scheme of things, and some would argue it goes against human nature itself. If I were to subscribe wholesale to the materialist worldview, then I'd be writing off the current majority of the world as well as the VAST (
INCOMPREHENSIBLY VAST) majority of human history. It's short-sighted to think modern people have suddenly and magically "figured it all out," bigoted to think the materialists have it right and everyone else is wrong, and downright insane to throw spirituality out the window after
hundreds of thousands of years of human culture being built around it, from the caves to Mormonism.
Anyway, those are the types of thoughts that pull me out of my own doubt -- and trust me, I know doubt. Connecting with your inner self is great, but I've learned from personal experience that one needs a good ol' fashioned counter-argument, too. Not necessarily one that you have to say aloud to anyone, but one that you can rely on within yourself. Because in my experience, pure subjective belief isn't enough to feel stable. I've had to build up rational, intellectual defenses of my own in order to protect my experiences, values, beliefs, and sense of meaning, purpose and connection. And if I can't protect the core sanctity of my life, then I can't protect ANY aspect of my life.
We (or I, at least) live in a society where our direct, personal experience of reality is constantly undermined and negated in favor of something that comes from WITHOUT rather than WITHIN. We're
encouraged to doubt ourselves, to think of our view as less than someone else's. Our spiritual wisdom is passed down from those seen as "special" -- priests, gurus, etc. -- when in fact divinity is accessible to all of us equally. Our perceptions of reality are only "real" if they've been approved of by some external source, like a corporate-funded scientific study (and remember: there's no money to be made in proving if God, ghosts, or reincarnation are real
), or a large enough crowd of witnesses. Yet in a culture where "no witnesses, didn't happen" rules the day, how can we feel secure in something that by definition NO ONE can witness -- our personal inner truth?
I'm a moderate on the issue, of course -- some degree of checking in with consensus reality is what keeps you sane. But if you feel something in your bones and the people around you make you doubt it, you're ALSO going to go crazy, just in a different way. Don't let anyone tell you that your experience of reality is wrong. Theirs is likely adopted wholesale from a mass-produced worldview that likely doesn't bring them any personal depth or connection. You gotta do what's right for your soul, in your own way, if you want to live a full life. Sometimes having your faith challenged is a way of strengthening that muscle, which ultimately just builds and affirms your own capacity to respect yourself.
Also, this: "I interact with others, but not to learn from them or to teach them, but for the opportunity to get symbolic messages from my inner guidance that I can interpret and make use of in my quest for growth and evolvement" from baro-san is
