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Where do you "belong"?

in the area where i live, there are a lot of remainders of ancient times. some churches here, for instance, date back to the 11th or 12th century. there is an old road near my house (partly a grass road) that also dates back to the 11th or 12th century.


sometimes when i stand in these churches, or when i stand on the road, i feel how i slowly connect to the people of those ages past, up to the point where i can almost see the people of those ages appear, as if i were a time traveller.


the same happened a while ago when my SO and i visited the Kalkriese Museum and Park in Bramsche, Germany, where Germanic commander Arminius destroyed the legions of Roman governor Varus. while standing there at the exact point where it had happened, i could almost hear the battle cries and the tumult of the war.


i don't have this connected feeling with every historycal place i visit. i feel that it is very specifically related to Germanic and Viking culture.


as i've indicated earlier, i'm not aware of any concrete recollections (i'm not even sure whether memories can go back that far - 800 or even 2000 years), but i do get a sense of 'belonging' with anything anglophone, and anything Germanic/Viking. i also remember devouring any Arthurian literature i could get my hands on at ages 12-15.


just trying to explain my fondness and feeling of connectedness with all the above... and the sense of belonging...
 
I've felt what you describe, Axes, on Civil War battlefields, and in the ruins of Pueblo Indian dwellings. I feel so at home on top of mesas, that I don't want to leave. I lived in New Orleans, once in this life, and in a previous one. When Katrina destroyed much of it, I went into "mourning". Do you remember a Norse life? We have a few PL Vikings here. The History Channel has a series called "Vikings". It is somewhat historically accurate, and my current favorite TV program. Do they broadcast it where you live?
 
Axes,


Not too far from here is the Stone Bridge where hundreds lost their lives on May 31, 1889 in the Johnstown Flood. On rainy nights, and especially around the anniversary of the flood, if you are nearby you can hear the screams of the dying, the water rushing and dogs barking. It is quite unsettling.
 
BriarRose said:
Do you remember a Norse life? We have a few PL Vikings here. The History Channel has a series called "Vikings". It is somewhat historically accurate, and my current favorite TV program. Do they broadcast it where you live?
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no, i don't recall one, i just feel connected. and really? memories can go back that far? i had no idea.


i haven't seen the TV programme, but a couple of months ago, there was an exhibition in a museum in my area. it was this one: http://historiska.se/vikings-on-tour/


it was absolutely gorgeous and very impressive and informative. one of the things i remember the most was that they had a replica sword there. it was similar in shape, weight and balance to a Viking sword. visitors were allowed to hold and lift it, but you couldn't swing it (obviously, that would have been much too dangerous).


but boy, i wish i could have...
 
The sword sounds amazing. I am fascinated by Viking excavations in the British Isles. The one at Anglesey comes to mind.
 
Oh my, this is a really important topic and I have a lot to share.


I touched a bit on this just now in this topic where I explain there how I tried to move back to a country associated with a past life and found that it didn't work out.


I concluded that I currently "belong" in the area I was born in this life. Key word: currently.


The place I feel I belong is subject to change.


But it's a bit different than the "true nationality" question. For several lives, whether I've been born French or not, I have a tendency to end up in France.


(to clarify, the country I moved to after college where the whole disaster happened was not France. I have not yet ended up in France in this life, though I've had a desire to go there since childhood)


(but I've ended up in France in 90% of my recent past lives)


I don't feel like I belong in modern France. In fact, I feel bothered by everything that has changed (changes in the 19th century and the 20th century). I worry I'll feel VERY upset in certain places/situations in current France. I don't plan on living there again.


While I don't "belong" in modern France, I maintain a sense of French identity.


It's related to what happened to me in the 18th century. I had to leave France and was not able to return. At the time, I wanted to leave anyway...but I didn't have much choice in the matter. Of course, I wasn't anticipating future lives at the time but, if I had anticipated them, I wouldn't have anticipated that I'd keep returning to France over and over and over...and for so long! It would have seemed absurd.


It was more like, after that life had passed, I began to romanticize the era of my childhood in my previous life (subconsciously), of France in my youth (though it was imperfect) and, probably on a "soul level", there was the realization of how far gone that time was. I began to feel a sense of longing and a lack of closure.


I mean, I have come to realize in my current life, yes - these things can never return. I can't make them return. And, in that life, I wouldn't have wanted things to continue without change. France had to change. Even in that life, I had the sense that it was necessary.


Hm, I'm more bothered by small details...such as "this shouldn't have happened to that person" or "that shouldn't have happened to me".


The odd thing is that nowadays I feel a fondness for the time I spent in France (before leaving) that was absolutely miserable for me personally.


And I feel a fondness for the initial years of the Revolution itself. Reasons are a bit complicated, long story, trying not to type too much.


But, basically, I'm trying to say the changes that bother me are more what came after I left France and things that happened after I died.


(Okay, nobody needs to know this much detail...is anyone interested? I hope someone is interested. I'm being so long-winded here.)


So, anyway, I didn't anticipate French identity going on and on into the future.


However, there's something about what happened in the 18th century that was like...a shock to my system, a shock to my soul. I find it hard to explain...the Revolution and the change that came with it was just such a powerful (and necessary) force. I think a lot of people are still working through the effects of it. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way.


That's why I've spent quite a few lifetimes wandering back to France and I suppose that, for now, I do...I do still feel French because of it.
 
I often find myself conflicted between Scandinavia and America, despite being born in England.


I found out recently that not everybody thinks of America when they think of years prior :laugh: Whenever people have mentioned early to mid 1900's I've always, without fail, thought of America in that period. I can't even begin to think of what England may have looked like! It's like my mind draws a blank and I have absolutely no image whatsoever of what my 'home country' looked like during that time.
 
Obstacles, we are all interested, and will read every word you write. You have us sitting on the edge of our seats, waiting to hear more. The phenomenon you describe, where we are pulled back to a geographic location happens. In my case, I had two lives where Lodi, Italy figured prominently, and I was born near Lodi, California in this life. Ridiculous, isn't it? I didn't know Lodi, Italy existed before I began to explore past lives. Is the returning soul comforted by even a hint of familiarity, or does my soul have a wry sense of humour? I suspect the latter.


CoulouroDarkness, is there a particular part of the U.S. you are drawn to?
 
Obstacles, I also wondered whether my stories were too long. It made me feel better to see how so many here have shown interest even in my longer posts.


It's an amazing feeling to know others want to know more, right? I'm very curious about your story as well, and when you cut elements out of some sense of "this is too much" I immediately wonder what you took out. :)


-----------


And now back to the topic at hand.


This is an interesting question. I feel the most displaced where I am now ... and very bound to it against my will. I'm very much looking forward to escaping in a few years. For some reason, even if I make good friends here they move away within the year ... or move on with their lives after receiving what they needed from me. Ugh.


All my closest friends (and soul mates) are "as far away as can be" from both me and each other when it comes to US and world-wide geography. I think I met my first soul mate in the grandmother of one of my classmates. She was visiting him at our boarding school. She and I bonded deeply at the time, though it was very brief.


I always wondered why nobody could understand me. Now I wonder why I chose to be so very far away from the people who COULD? What a strange life choice ... unless I'm meant to be disconnected for some reason. *sigh*


I had a VERY emotional encounter with the Texas hill country a couple years ago ... felt like I'd been away forever and was coming home. It's similar in many ways to the area in South America where I went to school, so maybe that was all. At the time it was my only explanation for the experience.


But most of all, there is this strong longing ... not for a specific place, but for a certain type of community. The closest I've gotten was an artist's retreat over a weekend ... only I think what I'm looking for is that sort of same-page connection as a lifestyle.


For all that I just said "there's not a specific place" ... I've been longing for Ireland, somewhere along the Mediterranean, and Japan/Korea/China? ... not sure? I love to explore all those cultures, especially their creative lifestyle routines and perspective on living.


Over the years I've had several people walk up to me and ask if I have "oriental blood" because of something to do with my eyes, ever since I was a teen. Always stunned me because my family is so far removed from anything of that bloodline.
 
Mere Dreamer said:
Over the years I've had several people walk up to me and ask if I have "oriental blood" because of something to do with my eyes, ever since I was a teen. Always stunned me because my family is so far removed from anything of that bloodline.
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It's possible they could be someone you knew in a past life, maybe an Asian past life.
 
BriarRose said:
is there a particular part of the U.S. you are drawn to?
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I'm not at all familiar with many of the states so I've only really come to know the 'popular' places. I'm more drawn to the city than the country, but not extremely large places like New York, L.A or Washington.


I feel a connection with the overhead rail systems (I'm unsure where they're common or what they're actually called :laugh: ) and remember as a kid standing under a rail bridge in my town and expecting little bits of paint and debris to come down as the train rattled across. I was disappointed and confused when it was noisy and nothing else LOL
 
ColourODarkness said:
I feel a connection with the overhead rail systems (I'm unsure where they're common or what they're actually called :laugh: ) and remember as a kid standing under a rail bridge in my town and expecting little bits of paint and debris to come down as the train rattled across. I was disappointed and confused when it was noisy and nothing else LOL
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They are called elevated rail lines, etc. Chicago still has their "EL" downtown. New York City had them around the turn of the 20th century. Also from the 1920's until the 50's or 60's New York had an elevated freight line which connected to 2nd story loading docks in the warehouse district. I don't know if any other cities had elevated. Usually they prefer to put the trains underground.
 
argonne1918 said:
They are called elevated rail lines, etc. Chicago still has their "EL" downtown. New York City had them around the turn of the 20th century. Also from the 1920's until the 50's or 60's New York had an elevated freight line which connected to 2nd story loading docks in the warehouse district.
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Interesting!! I'll have to do some research for myself and see if I recognize anything! :)
 
I've ridden the "El" in Chicago several times. They aren't common - we are "backwards" in matters of transportation. Chicago would be a good starting point for your research, Colour.
 
Mere Dreamer said:
This is an interesting question. I feel the most displaced where I am now ... and very bound to it against my will. I'm very much looking forward to escaping in a few years. For some reason, even if I make good friends here they move away within the year ... or move on with their lives after receiving what they needed from me. Ugh.


All my closest friends (and soul mates) are "as far away as can be" from both me and each other when it comes to US and world-wide geography. I think I met my first soul mate in the grandmother of one of my classmates. She was visiting him at our boarding school. She and I bonded deeply at the time, though it was very brief.


I always wondered why nobody could understand me. Now I wonder why I chose to be so very far away from the people who COULD? What a strange life choice ... unless I'm meant to be disconnected for some reason. *sigh*
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I get that so much too, Dreamer. I have so few friends and they live so far away. I consider myself privileged to see them once every few years. While I get along with most people I meet, there are only few characters I feel I can really connect with and have that soul mate feeling with, and then we soon end up far apart either because it was a brief, one-off encounter at conferences or the like, or because of work and study moves.


I even met my past-life husband in this life, had the instantaneous and overwhelming sense to know him again in this life, but then after our initial and only meeting, never saw him again!


Like you, I often wonder... am I meant to be disconnected? If so... why?
 
I feel the same thing - completely disconnected. I have puzzled over why. The only explanation I could think of involved the internet. When we did our life plans, did we know it was coming, and geographic location wouldn't keep us from connecting? Did the development of the Internet allow us to branch out, and not live near very many "soul mates"? I would like to hear theories about this "disconnection".
 
I have greater distinct feelings of places where I do not belong, than specific places where I do belong. While I have traveled extensively, and found many places in which I could very probably call home, it has been rare, though quite clear when I come across a location that seems to carry a very real sense of foreboding and negativity for me. Strasburg, France fills me with angst and fear with no discernible reason, though I am fine instantly upon leaving the area (several times in and out by train). By far, my greatest sense of not belonging comes from Spain where I have actually spent quite a lot of time. Over the course of four months distributed over 12 years I have gotten three severe illnesses which, though cured, were touch and go. Each one contracted while in Spain...and I've actually been sick about five times in my life. Various odd occurrences with people there and with places that held a powerful sense of familiarity but not in a good way all worked to provid me the distinct idea that I should watch out and leave at my earliest opportunity. I have memories of several Spanish lifetimes, two of which included dramatic ends, one at the hands of my lover's grandfather and the other by the Inquisition...either of which might tend to focus negative thoughts about the locale. I have found even the basic sensation of Spain incredibly different than the corresponding sensations about France just north and Italy to the east...both of which are very amenable and among my favorite places.
 
BriarRose, now I myself have felt quite 'disconnected' in this life also. Now for myself this disconnection applies to modern society and how many people these days. I sense one of the reasons is the 'Internet' like you said. How many people these days try to be soooo connected over the Internet, that they leave the basic connections with the people in their community behind. In the old days how many of the people in a community would bond and help one another even if they disagreed on things. Now of course I would feel disconnected from modern society with being more of a wilderness type of a person with so many Native American Past Lives and such. Personally I really long for those days like in a past life with living in a group that was sooooo tied with the land as it was with the Cheyenne, the Mountain Shoshone or many Native American or Aborigine groups. But I think there could be something to this. If someone who had had quite a few rural lives in whatever culture, would they feel so connected in a modern urbanized world. I personally don't think so! And in this modern world nowdays, it seems as if love, kindness, helping someone has taken a back seat to greed and selfishness which strikes me sad.


But as for myself personally, I always feel sooooo deeply connected to everything when I am way back in the deep wilds. Maybe the birds and the various animals do not speak english but it is 'life'!!! For instance I have stared into an grizzlies eyes and afterwards the bear and myself walked away from each other in peace. And I trust grizzlies these days more then most people here in town it seems for they never stab someone in the back. Plus as for myself I have personally found the place where I feel so much that I belong and it is 'Home'. Yes Home!!! And this is here in the deep wilds that remain in the Rocky Mountain Region and Canyon Country here in the western U.S. And with this espicelly deep in the headwaters of the Yellowstone here in NW Wyoming where I have been roaming for over 30 years now and absolutely Love It! And as for some of the Native American groups that was here which it is also for myself ... when I am here it all fares well but when I leave it fares worse.


As for the deep connections to Earth and Life which I have felt here in the wilds of the west. Do wish others could experience this while they can. Do think if some of those dishearted souls in the cities could experience the deep wilds wherever then it might possible change some things. But this just myself.


Just my opinion. Wishing Everyone the Best!
 
BriarRose said:
I've ridden the "El" in Chicago several times. They aren't common - we are "backwards" in matters of transportation. Chicago would be a good starting point for your research, Colour.
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There are videos on YouTube of various elevated trains. In addition to Chicago and New York, it looks like Liverpool had them as well.

 
I agree kMatjhwy. Technology is no substitute for real connections. My isolation is deliberate - I don't have the time to spend on people I don't like anymore! I think isolation is often a choice - those who want to be surrounded by chatter are, and the rest of us, who would rather look at nature, read a book, or meditate, do that instead. I do wonder, though, if it would have been easier to have soul mates around. It would be a different kind of life. It may be that people who feel a disconnect, do have a few soul mates around. We can just tell the difference between them, and "others", so we put up barriers to keep away the "others".
 
argonne1918 said:
There are videos on YouTube of various elevated trains. In addition to Chicago and New York, it looks like Liverpool had them as well.
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I had no idea Liverpool had them!! Thank you for the link :D I'll take a look at some videos
 
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