Hello again! It's been a long time eh? I've not posted here in a long while. I've been okay, and life has been good since I last made a post on this thread. I now live with my soon-to-be-wife, and
I adore Europe - most of my life-times have been European so it feels
very much home here.
I will say that learning a new language is a challenge but I'm retaining bits and pieces, and I just am loving it where I live. It's wonderful.
The last time I posted in this thread, I had thought I settled the trauma from Louis-Charles life. I have learned other wise and that trauma doesn't go away simply with maybe one or two regressions - it's like someone who suffers from PTSD and had a traumatic experience in the current life now, it takes sometimes a long time for trauma to be resolved.
I sometimes, against my better judgement (
curiosity is annoying, right?) have researched his death, what happened, read about the many pretenders who claimed to be him - that he survived, etc, etc.
Recently, over the past few days I just felt depressed, moody, sad, and angry. I knew where it was coming from. I had recently also drawn a portrait of my mother from that life, but with her face now. It's scary to me how even though she doesn't look exactly the same... she does look the same. It's always the eyes. Windows to the soul as they say. And I know physical similarities in the face mean nothing most of the time. Someone could look exactly like that person and not even be that person. Just pure coincidence. But, sometimes it is that person reincarnated.
To tell you the truth, I don't have many memories of that period, at the Temple. I remember the most significant events. Papa leaving us for the last time, then being ripped from my mother's arms and basically things that should never, ever happen to a child. Things I read that triggered me and triggered unpleasant sensations and emotions. Things I always wondered and had a gut feeling about.
No one knows what really went on in the Temple except for a smattering of reports, some eye-witness accounts and other things. I just know there was a lot of pain and anger there. In that place. From that life. From Louis-Charles. A lot of sadness, guilt, and pain.
There were reports of prostitutes being brought in, and venereal disease being caught by the Dauphin from them. I've always had the gut feeling that something happened to me in that place and I don't like to say this because I know it can be triggering to many. I think he was raped by someone, maybe Simon the man who was put to the job of looking after him (though he was kind at first), or someone else. But I've always felt that happened. Again, I don't have much memory following the separation from Maman. I remember bits and pieces. A lot of it is felt through emotion, sensation, sound, etc. Not so much visual.
But anyway. A few nights ago, before I went to bed, I tried a regression video session. I ended up falling asleep but it was a good sleep apparently because I woke up feeling good? I don't know how to explain it. I was upset that I didn't have the regression I wanted but then also remembered that expectations shouldn't be had. I've always tried not to expect things in life, in regressions and even just in being.
Earlier the next day, I tried again. This time with a hypnotherapist, licensed and named Suzanne Robichaud. I had never tried this regression video before and I thought okay, I'm not going to lay down with this, I'm going to sit up (note to self, maybe sit on the sofa and not the kitchen chair lol) and experience whatever comes to me.
The experience was... something. I just let what was to come through, come through and let Suzanne guide me with her voice. I really focused on my breathing and it was very relaxing.
(Continued in next post)
(I don't know about that, but I'll take it as a compliment xD)
