Hello! My name is Heike and I'm new here, although I have lots of experience on other forums and know how to behave. In fact, I'm going to leave out details on some of my questions in order to stay on the "good" side of your forum rules, but if you want more detail and it's ok to provide it, please ask.
I'm not exactly religious or even spiritual, although I do try to live my life according to principles such as not hurting other people except in self-defense and not judging people because I don't like to be judged.
I've read about 3 or 4 dozen of the threads here, and all of them on the list of "cases of interest." Reincarnation and past lives have been one of my interests since my teenage years; I think the case that introduced me to the concept was that of Bridey Murphy.
I've had some concerns and questions which have puzzled me for many years but have seldom expressed them to anyone. I am hoping this will be a safe place to do that and get some ideas if not answers.
1. My mother never wanted a child, attempted to get rid of me before I was born, and abused me throughout my childhood. My father was a sociopath and an alcoholic who also abused me during the short time before my mother left him. What I can't understand is why in the world I would have chosen to be born into such circumstances. Although I am highly intelligent and talented in many ways, my life has been one long succession of failures due to being emotionally crippled by my childhood. I have trouble with the idea that I would have chosen this for myself, unless I had some terrible deeds in a past life to atone for, which idea in and of itself also makes me uncomfortable. As a very young child I was very mature and precocious. My stepfather met me when I was 3 years old and described me as "3 going on 30." I have not, however, been told of any unusual dreams or odd things I expressed as a child, nor do I remember anything like that. All of my life I have abhorred violence and feared the anger of others, to the point of being what many would call a coward. I avoid confrontation and run if threatened or attacked.
2. In recent years I've been a caretaker for two women with developmental disabilities. One suffered from Angelman Syndrome, and although physically in her late 20's she was functionally an infant. She could not speak or communicate in any way, could barely feed herself, and was total care. How could a soul choose such a life, and what could possibly be learned from it? Is there a conscious, aware soul trapped inside that non-functional mind? If so, I can not imagine a worse fate for anyone. If not, then it makes no sense to me. Could there be such a thing as a person without a soul or spirit, an empty shell which functions only physically? That would be a great relief to me over thinking that a functional, aware mind is trapped in a prison of mental incapacity for life.
My other client has Cohen Syndrome and is stuck at the mental and emotional age of around 4 or 5. She can communicate but is much like a child who can not grow up. Abstract concepts are beyond her and she can't (or won't) even learn to read. She has never known love or friendship and never will. Her parents placed her into an institution shortly after her condition became apparent, and every other person in her life (except her brother who is disabled just like her) has been and is a person who is paid to take care of her. Her only pleasure in life is eating, and she doesn't get to enjoy that much because she's diabetic, tends to obesity, and is kept on a pretty strict diet by her doctor and team. Once again what puzzles me is how or why a soul could have chosen such a life and what could possibly be learned from it. She has never "achieved" anything and never will, and her life is as joyless as any I could imagine.
Heike
I'm not exactly religious or even spiritual, although I do try to live my life according to principles such as not hurting other people except in self-defense and not judging people because I don't like to be judged.
I've read about 3 or 4 dozen of the threads here, and all of them on the list of "cases of interest." Reincarnation and past lives have been one of my interests since my teenage years; I think the case that introduced me to the concept was that of Bridey Murphy.
I've had some concerns and questions which have puzzled me for many years but have seldom expressed them to anyone. I am hoping this will be a safe place to do that and get some ideas if not answers.
1. My mother never wanted a child, attempted to get rid of me before I was born, and abused me throughout my childhood. My father was a sociopath and an alcoholic who also abused me during the short time before my mother left him. What I can't understand is why in the world I would have chosen to be born into such circumstances. Although I am highly intelligent and talented in many ways, my life has been one long succession of failures due to being emotionally crippled by my childhood. I have trouble with the idea that I would have chosen this for myself, unless I had some terrible deeds in a past life to atone for, which idea in and of itself also makes me uncomfortable. As a very young child I was very mature and precocious. My stepfather met me when I was 3 years old and described me as "3 going on 30." I have not, however, been told of any unusual dreams or odd things I expressed as a child, nor do I remember anything like that. All of my life I have abhorred violence and feared the anger of others, to the point of being what many would call a coward. I avoid confrontation and run if threatened or attacked.
2. In recent years I've been a caretaker for two women with developmental disabilities. One suffered from Angelman Syndrome, and although physically in her late 20's she was functionally an infant. She could not speak or communicate in any way, could barely feed herself, and was total care. How could a soul choose such a life, and what could possibly be learned from it? Is there a conscious, aware soul trapped inside that non-functional mind? If so, I can not imagine a worse fate for anyone. If not, then it makes no sense to me. Could there be such a thing as a person without a soul or spirit, an empty shell which functions only physically? That would be a great relief to me over thinking that a functional, aware mind is trapped in a prison of mental incapacity for life.
My other client has Cohen Syndrome and is stuck at the mental and emotional age of around 4 or 5. She can communicate but is much like a child who can not grow up. Abstract concepts are beyond her and she can't (or won't) even learn to read. She has never known love or friendship and never will. Her parents placed her into an institution shortly after her condition became apparent, and every other person in her life (except her brother who is disabled just like her) has been and is a person who is paid to take care of her. Her only pleasure in life is eating, and she doesn't get to enjoy that much because she's diabetic, tends to obesity, and is kept on a pretty strict diet by her doctor and team. Once again what puzzles me is how or why a soul could have chosen such a life and what could possibly be learned from it. She has never "achieved" anything and never will, and her life is as joyless as any I could imagine.
Heike
